Thoughts on Officiating a Humanist/Hindu Wedding?
October 19, 2015 12:32 PM Subscribe
I have been asked to be the celebrant for a wedding that will be mainly a "humanist" (i.e., nonreligious) structure that also incorporates elements from the Vedic/Hindu tradition. I'm wondering whether anyone here has done quite this thing?
It is due to the support of the community of Metafilter* that I have been asked to officiate at the wedding of some friends. This is probably my only chance of being a celebrant and I am incredibly honored to have been asked, and for these and many other reasons I want to do this really well.
I have access to the groom's Indian parents for lots of good information, and I've been pointed to the Hindu elements that are most important to them, and I can find words for all the pieces. What I'm looking for is guidance from anyone who has performed this kind of ceremony so that it doesn't come out like we're strolling along with what all their friends expect and then we take a break to do something the family expects. An example is "how do I go from a highly ritualized prayer to Ganesh into a non-religious ceremony?"
I'm checking with the family to see whether it's okay with them for me to say something about invoking archetypes and the deep meaning of invested rituals before we get rolling on the ceremony, but any thoughts or guidance from experience would be greatly appreciated. I have several months in which to prepare the script so I can chew over any and all ideas!
*The groom was at the memorial service at which I spoke 2 years ago with the support and assistance of the community and, while he only barely realizes it consciously, it is pretty clear that this is the reason I came to mind as an officiant. The couple has many good friends who could do this, but they know me as someone who can speak publicly, for which I thank you all.
It is due to the support of the community of Metafilter* that I have been asked to officiate at the wedding of some friends. This is probably my only chance of being a celebrant and I am incredibly honored to have been asked, and for these and many other reasons I want to do this really well.
I have access to the groom's Indian parents for lots of good information, and I've been pointed to the Hindu elements that are most important to them, and I can find words for all the pieces. What I'm looking for is guidance from anyone who has performed this kind of ceremony so that it doesn't come out like we're strolling along with what all their friends expect and then we take a break to do something the family expects. An example is "how do I go from a highly ritualized prayer to Ganesh into a non-religious ceremony?"
I'm checking with the family to see whether it's okay with them for me to say something about invoking archetypes and the deep meaning of invested rituals before we get rolling on the ceremony, but any thoughts or guidance from experience would be greatly appreciated. I have several months in which to prepare the script so I can chew over any and all ideas!
*The groom was at the memorial service at which I spoke 2 years ago with the support and assistance of the community and, while he only barely realizes it consciously, it is pretty clear that this is the reason I came to mind as an officiant. The couple has many good friends who could do this, but they know me as someone who can speak publicly, for which I thank you all.
We didn't do this, but had a ceremony that combined both Christian and Hindu traditions, with an officiant from each religion. In the program and at the beginning of the ceremony, we explained that since we're combining our lives, we're starting out by combining our traditions and including elements of both types of ceremonies. Then, before each part of the ceremony, the officiant would announce to the audience what was going to happen and what its significance was. It was more explainy than most weddings but everybody enjoyed it -- in fact, a bunch of the Indian people of my generation said it was the first time they really understood what was going on!
posted by chickenmagazine at 5:12 PM on October 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by chickenmagazine at 5:12 PM on October 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
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I recently went to a funeral where half of the deceased's family's first language wasn't English. When singing songs that weren't in English, someone briefly explained what the song meant to the family and what it was about (the majority of the guests spoke English). That was helpful for understanding the importance of the song.
posted by Pearl928 at 1:41 PM on October 19, 2015 [3 favorites]