Looking for rhyming 'dad' sayings/phrases
October 5, 2015 8:56 AM   Subscribe

My son is 9 and one of my favorite things to do is gently aggravate him with dad-esque sayings.

Current favorites are "Ding dong, you're wrong", "It's true, Mr. Magoo", and "Eggs and bacon, you're mistaken".

Not looking for the dad jokes (as in, "Dad, I'm hungry" "Nice to meet you, hungry, I'm dad").

Whatcha got?
posted by Twicketface to Human Relations (79 answers total) 35 users marked this as a favorite
 
In the morning: "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey"
posted by pseudostrabismus at 8:57 AM on October 5, 2015 [10 favorites]


What's the story Dory?
What's the plan Stan?
My dad always tells not to take any wooden nickels and to have fun storming the castle when I leave his house.
posted by shenkerism at 8:58 AM on October 5, 2015


Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.

Criss-cross applesauce (sitting cross-legged)

You get what you get and you don't get upset.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:58 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


Okey dokey, artichokey. (I swear my dad used to say this all the time. DADS.)
posted by pretentious illiterate at 9:01 AM on October 5, 2015 [10 favorites]


No way, José.

Okey Dokie, artichokey.

Uh oh, spaghetti-o.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:02 AM on October 5, 2015 [3 favorites]


No prob, Bob.
posted by something something at 9:03 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


If wishes were fishes, we'd be up to our snouts in trouts.

If wishes were fishes, we'd be up to our asses in basses.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:03 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


He who smelt it, dealt it.
posted by bondcliff at 9:04 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


No problo, Rob Lowe
No sweat, Boba Fett
Here’s the deal, Jessica Biel
Nice try, Stephen Fry
Well well well, Harvey Keitel
My my my, Mike Ty.. son
Well, what do you know, Henry David Thoreau
Scout’s honor, Sinead O’Connor
Bring it on, Ponce de Leon
Peachy keen, Avril Lavigne
posted by Tanizaki at 9:05 AM on October 5, 2015 [28 favorites]


Well well well, Harvey Keitel. (amongst others, from Community)
posted by jozxyqk at 9:06 AM on October 5, 2015 [7 favorites]


From Big Bang Theory:

What's the word, hummingbird?
What's up, buttercup?
What's the gist, physicist?
posted by Melismata at 9:06 AM on October 5, 2015


See you later, alligator. (Correct response: In a while, crocodile)
posted by EndsOfInvention at 9:06 AM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]


If you want to switch it up, one of my favorites from high school Spanish was "Que te pasa, calabaza?", which is literally "What's up, pumpkin?"
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:10 AM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]


Him: "So....."

You: "Sew buttons!"
posted by Lucinda at 9:18 AM on October 5, 2015 [4 favorites]


Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:18 AM on October 5, 2015 [5 favorites]


Too bad, so sad, your dad.
posted by Coatlicue at 9:18 AM on October 5, 2015


My dad always said "let's go, Lazlo" when it was time to leave the house.
posted by babelfish at 9:19 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


From Drunk History, the New Jersey episode on the Bone Wars, "You wish, tuna fish."
posted by Liesl at 9:20 AM on October 5, 2015


Do your thing, chicken wing.
I'll do my best, chicken breast.

(Disclaimer: my wife says the first one. I added the second one.)
posted by The Deej at 9:22 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


¿Que pasa, calabaza? (What's up, pumpkin?)
¡Nada nada limonada! (nothing, lemonade)
posted by bilabial at 9:39 AM on October 5, 2015 [9 favorites]


Piet Hein gave us:
"Problems worthy of attack
Prove their worth by fighting back"

Nine-year-olds are moving into a world where the things they want to do, and the tasks that are expected of them, are getting more complicated. This little couplet is useful to remind them to keep plugging and don't give up.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 9:40 AM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]


Roger dodger,
You old codger.
Over, under and out.
posted by humboldt32 at 9:51 AM on October 5, 2015


So easy:
"Dad, guess what?"
"Chicken butt."
posted by plinth at 9:56 AM on October 5, 2015 [6 favorites]


"It's just dirt and dirt don't hurt!"

(I think this was originally "God made dirt," but my family are atheists. Of course, this one only works if you have the kind of little kid who really doesn't like to get dirty, which I certainly was.)
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:58 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Oh well."
"That's a deep subject."
posted by esker at 10:32 AM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]


"Bump, bump, bump! Have you ever seen a wump?" Every time we went over a speed bump.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 10:40 AM on October 5, 2015


In my house, it was "Wakey wakey, lil' snakey."
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:59 AM on October 5, 2015


Uppit, puppet. (As in "gimme")
Okay, Gina LollaFIDGETa, sit still.
Look out, Slippy Longstocking
It's cleaning time! (sung to the tune of Closing Time.)
posted by vitabellosi at 11:19 AM on October 5, 2015


I heard the 'it's just dirt' ones as

God made dirt and dirt don't hurt
But if I die, you'll know why!

And it was said as one enacted the five second rule. Usually at picnics.
posted by bilabial at 11:41 AM on October 5, 2015


My personal Favorite:

Whatever, Trevor....

It has a use for ANY occasion!
posted by JenThePro at 11:42 AM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


Up your nose with a rubber hose.
posted by spilon at 11:42 AM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]


He who smelt it, dealt it.

He who denied it, supplied it.

Up your nose with a rubber hose.

Up your ass with Mobil gas. Happy Motoring!
posted by Rob Rockets at 12:04 PM on October 5, 2015


On car trips, when we needed to use the bathroom, my dad would always say, "Tie a knot in it!" I'm a girl. Someone finally explained the phrase to me as an adult.

His most dad thing to do was to sing silly songs from the 50s. He couldn't carry a tune and I'm not certain that he didn't make up most of the words. It would drive us crazy and make us laugh, depending on how long the trip was.

The one thing that always drove my mom crazy was that when he got bored, he would start reading every single sign that we passed. It kept her awake, which she hated, and caused us to pay attention to our surroundings, which has served me well.

For my kids, I moo at cows, yell 'hey!' at hay in fields, and whenever we see sheep, I say, "That looks baaaaad."
posted by myselfasme at 12:12 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


Let's go, kiddly-o!
Up you jump, my little lump!
Night-night little mite!

I wound up with a whole bunch of these for the occasions when my son was v small and had successfully used the loo:

Great crap, little chap!
Well pooed, little dude!
Good shittin', little kitten!
Great nappy, little chappie!
Great turd, little bird!
Nice dump, little lump!
Good poopin', little lupin!


(Look, parenting toddlers is tough and I'd barely slept, alright?)
posted by doop at 12:30 PM on October 5, 2015 [11 favorites]


I'm the boss, applesauce. Understand, rubber band?
posted by Majorita at 12:50 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


What's the plan, Stan?
posted by Diag at 12:59 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


What's the story, morning glory?
posted by mermily at 2:17 PM on October 5, 2015


"Oh dear, bread and beer."
"You aren't made of sugar, you won't melt."
While driving: "How now, brown cow?"
posted by frumiousb at 2:52 PM on October 5, 2015


I have a friend that says "awesome possum!" and it annoys the heck out of me :)
posted by shakobe at 3:07 PM on October 5, 2015 [2 favorites]


My mom used this "gem" when we were kids:

"Come on get up, get out of bed. Oh, by the way - your name is Fred. I hope you're not dead."

I have no idea where that came from but it drove us nuts. She would also wake us with "Surprise, Jack! Chucky's back!" after she saw it on a commercial for one of the Child's Play movies.
posted by tacodave at 3:41 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


It drives my kids crazy when they ask me why they have to do something and I reply in show-tuney way (with jazz-hands) "Be-CAUSE I SAAAAAIIIIIDDD SOOOO."
posted by 4ster at 5:41 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


My dad's favorite is, "If it's free, it's for me - and if it's less than that, I'll take three."
posted by amelliferae at 5:48 PM on October 5, 2015


I just realized I screwed up with my last answer because it does not rhyme, so I'm trying again:

Close your eyes and go to sleep. I do not want to hear a peep!
posted by 4ster at 5:51 PM on October 5, 2015


Good thinkin', Lincoln!
posted by lakeroon at 6:03 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


At events with free stuff.

"What's wrong with free (wine)?"

"I dunno, what?"

(Gets up to get wine) "nothing!"
posted by bilabial at 6:22 PM on October 5, 2015


See you soon, big baboon!
See you later, ginger grater!

Up your nose with a rubber hose
down again with a fountain pen!
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 6:41 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wrong age, but when I was a teenager my stepfather sometimes yelled in, first thing in the morning, "drop your cocks and grab your socks"
posted by lathrop at 8:08 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


it doesn't rhyme but we always say, "home again home again jiggety jig!" when we come home, while we're pulling into the driveway. Pretty sure I picked that up from Dad. My son says "well..." I say, "that's a deep dark subject, are you sure you want to get into that?" and oh, a rhymey one! "what's the deal, camille."
posted by lemniskate at 8:09 PM on October 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


Funny bunny
Awesome possum
Ain't no thing, but a chicken wing
posted by pyro979 at 8:21 PM on October 5, 2015


Hey!

"Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, and grass is free."
posted by MsMolly at 9:29 PM on October 5, 2015


He who smelt it, dealt it.

He who denied it, supplied it.


He who said the rhyme, did the crime.
posted by tinkletown at 11:43 PM on October 5, 2015


To build off lemniskate's answer, every time we went grocery shopping my mom would recite "off to the market to buy a fat pig; home again home again, jiggety jig!" because she is a nerd
posted by Pizzarina Sbarro at 3:35 AM on October 6, 2015


So many outstanding responses! This is going to take eye-rolling to a new level.

Forgot to add another of my favorites from a Kids in the Hall sketch: Pitter patter, let's get at 'er!
posted by Twicketface at 6:36 AM on October 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


big deal, lucille
buckle up, buttercup
ready, freddy?
posted by shannonm at 10:28 AM on October 6, 2015


Does he wear glasses? "On the face or in the case."
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:28 AM on October 6, 2015


I'm so t-u-r-d tired I could f-a-r-t faint.
posted by Billiken at 12:14 PM on October 6, 2015


Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
posted by Billiken at 12:20 PM on October 6, 2015


Oh yeah- and also skitter-skatter, let's get at 'er!
posted by pseudostrabismus at 3:26 PM on October 6, 2015


Previously
posted by hooray at 11:20 PM on October 6, 2015


Up your nose with a rubber hose.
In your ear with a bottle of beer.

Hey!
Hay is for horses, better for cows. Pigs would eat it but they don't know hows.

A variation on the smelt it/dealt it, from my most immature uncle...
Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?
posted by spinturtle at 7:05 AM on October 7, 2015


Later, skater.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:03 PM on October 7, 2015


That's the way it goes, greasy nose.
posted by furtive at 8:50 PM on October 7, 2015


"Nopity-nope, soap on a rope!"
posted by e-man at 11:02 PM on October 7, 2015


The call and response I'm most familiar with:

"See you later, alligator."
"In a while, crocodile."
"Not too soon, you big baboon."

But I can reliably crack up my 8 year old with "See you later, crocodile."
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:16 AM on October 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Qué pasa keilbasa?
posted by Kabanos at 9:14 AM on October 8, 2015


My grandfather would frequently recite:

Ooey Gooey was a worm,
a noble worm was he.
He sat upon a railroad track,
the train he did not see.
Ooey Gooey!

and

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy,
was he?
posted by peeedro at 11:52 AM on October 8, 2015


I don't necessarily suggest you do this with your own son, but my father used to come bursting into my room mornings (often naked), singing the following, operatically:

"Good morning, good morning, how'd ya like to bite my ass? Good morning, good morning, fuuuuuuuuuck yooooouuuuu"

I'm sorry it doesn't rhyme, that's all I got
posted by deadbilly at 12:27 AM on October 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


"In there like swimwear"
"On it like a bonnet"
"The Judge will not budge"
"My eyes are pies, and yours are lies"

And this one doesn't rhyme (and is UKmeaningcentric) but does seem apt:

"Like cheese and pickle, we're on a roll"
posted by protorp at 2:24 PM on October 10, 2015


A popular Australian kids book series with rhyming phrases for titles (and many more rhymes inside):
- Far Out, Brussel Sprout: Australian children's chants and rhymes (1983)
- All Right, Vegemite (1985)
- Unreal, Banana Peel (1986)
- Real Keen, Baked Bean (1989)
- Roll Over Pavlova (1992)
posted by brushtailedphascogale at 4:46 AM on October 11, 2015


dlugoczaj: "Easy peasy, lemon squeezy."

Rock Steady: "No way, José.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.
"

Crap. I am not a parent and I say those.

sighs
posted by Samizdata at 3:14 PM on October 11, 2015


While reading through this I cold not help but start thinking:

Slip out the back, Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan.
No need to be coy, Roy. Just listen to me.

Hop on the bus, Gus.
No need to discuss, Russ.
Drop off the key, Lee.
And set yourself free.

This is what I get for growing up in the seventies.
posted by egypturnash at 4:29 AM on October 12, 2015 [1 favorite]


My four year old former roommate turned me on to "For reals banana peels!" to which the proper response was inexplicably "On the moon Raccoon!".
posted by TheCoug at 12:55 PM on October 12, 2015


"I buy you books and buy you books and all you do is eat the covers off them." Thanks Dad.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 1:47 PM on October 12, 2015


Overheard today: Ready, spaghetti?
posted by SemiSalt at 3:42 PM on October 12, 2015


Another variant on the response to "hey" - "hay is for horses and cows, which one am I?"
Another variant on the response to "well" - "a hole in the ground"

Asta, pasta. (occasionally supplemented with singing "the lights are turnin' red/life in the fast lane")
posted by gingerest at 6:06 PM on October 12, 2015


What's up, little pup?
posted by shaun at 9:56 PM on October 12, 2015


Hmm, we used to say it as "Hasta la pasta".
posted by benito.strauss at 8:25 AM on October 13, 2015


Probably not relevant in conversation with a nine-year-old, but otherwise these AC/DC lyrics fit the bill:

What I want, I take
What I don't, I break


This has also been my go-to "If I ever get a tattoo" daydream for years now; one on each bicep, perhaps.
posted by Ian A.T. at 2:04 PM on October 16, 2015


Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!
(What does it mean? Where does it come from?)

also

In like Flynn
(Possibly inapropro for kiddies, depending on the origin story you believe)

oh, and

Totes magotes!
(Urban Dictionary's perfect definition: "An awkward way to say 'totally' when trying to act cool.")
posted by pickles_have_souls at 8:20 PM on October 16, 2015


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