Should I stay or should I go now? (Job change advice)
September 28, 2015 12:03 PM Subscribe
I'm having trouble coming to a final decision on a job-change, and I'm hoping that you all can help with some of your unique perspectives. I recently received a job offer to go work with (well, technically for) a friend at a smaller company nearby. Polling everyone close to me (family, friends, work mentors) has yielded unanimous results: I should accept the offer. Yet, I'm wavering. Here is the situation:
Current job
+ Better pay (+4-5% more than the offered job)
+ ~10% bonus
+ Better benefits (nominal 401k match, cheaper insurance)
+ Low stress 90% of the time
+ Probably better security in he next 3yrs, even if it's because the place is slow.
- Lots of backstabbing amongst my peers (has not reached me yet). I spend most of my time navigating interpersonal issues, rather than making real progress.
- Work is around a subject matter that is not my forte, and I'm stuck in the middle often.
- Career path at this company is limited, role is too specialized. I don't like what I do, and if I stick around it'll become my primary skill set.
- Very little sense of accomplishment here. The company moves at a glacial pace.
- The stuff I work on is seen as a necessary evil by my team and boss.
New job
+ Work is likely to be more interesting and rewarding.
+ Some potential for more compensation in the future.
+ Slightly shorter commute.
+ More casual/informal workplace with allowances to work remotely.
+ Smaller team and company would be less impersonal, and more agile. More opportunity to influence.
- Slightly lower pay and worse benefits, no bonus (pay would still leave me with the same lifestyle)
- Friend I'd be working with (tiny team) is temperamental, kind of threw me under the bus at our last workplace (though it was highly toxic for everyone). We work really well together, but he's a bit flighty and sometimes a malcontent.
- Small company is growing quickly, but is probably less stable than the behemoth I'm working for now, so less stability.
- Will be less laid back, in terms of workload (not entirely a bad thing, but don't know how swamped I'll be)
I'm realistic enough to know that I want to leave and accept this offer, but... I'm afraid.
Current job
+ Better pay (+4-5% more than the offered job)
+ ~10% bonus
+ Better benefits (nominal 401k match, cheaper insurance)
+ Low stress 90% of the time
+ Probably better security in he next 3yrs, even if it's because the place is slow.
- Lots of backstabbing amongst my peers (has not reached me yet). I spend most of my time navigating interpersonal issues, rather than making real progress.
- Work is around a subject matter that is not my forte, and I'm stuck in the middle often.
- Career path at this company is limited, role is too specialized. I don't like what I do, and if I stick around it'll become my primary skill set.
- Very little sense of accomplishment here. The company moves at a glacial pace.
- The stuff I work on is seen as a necessary evil by my team and boss.
New job
+ Work is likely to be more interesting and rewarding.
+ Some potential for more compensation in the future.
+ Slightly shorter commute.
+ More casual/informal workplace with allowances to work remotely.
+ Smaller team and company would be less impersonal, and more agile. More opportunity to influence.
- Slightly lower pay and worse benefits, no bonus (pay would still leave me with the same lifestyle)
- Friend I'd be working with (tiny team) is temperamental, kind of threw me under the bus at our last workplace (though it was highly toxic for everyone). We work really well together, but he's a bit flighty and sometimes a malcontent.
- Small company is growing quickly, but is probably less stable than the behemoth I'm working for now, so less stability.
- Will be less laid back, in terms of workload (not entirely a bad thing, but don't know how swamped I'll be)
I'm realistic enough to know that I want to leave and accept this offer, but... I'm afraid.
I have to be honest and say would lean against accepting the job per your parameters, but that's me. However, this is what I would do in your shoes:
State that you are excited about the job (if you are considering it), but you are troubled by the pay /financial package. I've stated this and remained silent, and some people throw on more money at the get go. OR, you can state it, make them wait a few days, and this has worked well for a people (as in, get a higher salary.).
You mention more rewarding/interesting job possibility. I have taken jobs on that criteria alone, but it depends. For example, can you go after projects and get them listed on your CV (or as available samples, whatever?) Then it is worth it as compensation for the next job.
Your comment about the problematic friend would make me hesitate, a lot. But if the finances were = and opportunities were there, perhaps.
posted by Wolfster at 12:13 PM on September 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
State that you are excited about the job (if you are considering it), but you are troubled by the pay /financial package. I've stated this and remained silent, and some people throw on more money at the get go. OR, you can state it, make them wait a few days, and this has worked well for a people (as in, get a higher salary.).
You mention more rewarding/interesting job possibility. I have taken jobs on that criteria alone, but it depends. For example, can you go after projects and get them listed on your CV (or as available samples, whatever?) Then it is worth it as compensation for the next job.
Your comment about the problematic friend would make me hesitate, a lot. But if the finances were = and opportunities were there, perhaps.
posted by Wolfster at 12:13 PM on September 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
So, you would be working for and with someone who "threw you under a bus" before. On a tiny team where you couldn't get away from this person. That would certainly make me hesitant. I'm not saying I wouldn't make the move anyway, but I think you should be realistic about just how unpleasant this person could make things...again. And you should also be honest with yourself that you would be working for this person, not just with. Hierarchy is not just a technicality. Please don't go into this thinking you are peers if in fact there is a power differential.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 12:17 PM on September 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by mysterious_stranger at 12:17 PM on September 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
From your list of pros and cons, it's hard to see why you'd even consider the new job. Are you leaving something out?
Having said that, I do see a potential downside to staying: if you stay in a job like you described long enough, you'll have a harder time finding work elsewhere if the place fails, or downsizes, and you're suddenly out of work. Apparent stability is no guarantee of lifetime employment, and some of the people I know who've been the least prepared for looking for work mid-career have been the ones who opted for the apparently stable company (DEC, Kodak, etc.). It is useful to ask yourself the question: if I need to find another job in 5 years, will taking (or keeping) this job make me more or less employable?
posted by mr vino at 12:20 PM on September 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Having said that, I do see a potential downside to staying: if you stay in a job like you described long enough, you'll have a harder time finding work elsewhere if the place fails, or downsizes, and you're suddenly out of work. Apparent stability is no guarantee of lifetime employment, and some of the people I know who've been the least prepared for looking for work mid-career have been the ones who opted for the apparently stable company (DEC, Kodak, etc.). It is useful to ask yourself the question: if I need to find another job in 5 years, will taking (or keeping) this job make me more or less employable?
posted by mr vino at 12:20 PM on September 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I would be hesitant to take the new job.
I think the only thing that would tip me in that direction would be if taking that job and staying there 18-24 months would make it more likely to get something more approximate to your ideal job than staying where you are now 0-24 months.
If staying where you are now would be a legitimate career speed bump, make the jump, but make it prepared to jump again quickly if you have to.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:22 PM on September 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think the only thing that would tip me in that direction would be if taking that job and staying there 18-24 months would make it more likely to get something more approximate to your ideal job than staying where you are now 0-24 months.
If staying where you are now would be a legitimate career speed bump, make the jump, but make it prepared to jump again quickly if you have to.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:22 PM on September 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Sometimes you have to take a step down to take a step up. If you feel you are stagnating skill wise at your current job, then you need to get out. The value of getting into a more dynamic growth situation may outweigh the slight loss in compensation. You have to look at it in the long run - not this job, but the next one. If you stagnate where you are, you are not going to be in a good position a few years from now.
That said, the colleague that threw you under the bus previously sounds worrying. Do some thinking about that situation and what your role was and whether it indicates a real problem with him.
posted by yarly at 12:27 PM on September 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
That said, the colleague that threw you under the bus previously sounds worrying. Do some thinking about that situation and what your role was and whether it indicates a real problem with him.
posted by yarly at 12:27 PM on September 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I agree that the money shouldn't be a consideration, because what yarly said is very true, look at the big picture. BUT I don't think you should take the job if you can't trust your friend (especially since you'll be working for him). Because then not only will you have the toxic workplace and the less pay, but also you'll kill a friendship. I work with my bestie and have many times in the past because I know that he will always have my back. Otherwise I advise against working with friends.
If they're willing to hire you, somewhere else will be, too. Keep your current job but keep looking.
posted by clone boulevard at 12:40 PM on September 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
If they're willing to hire you, somewhere else will be, too. Keep your current job but keep looking.
posted by clone boulevard at 12:40 PM on September 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Don't if they won't match your current pay including bonus.
posted by flimflam at 3:14 PM on September 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by flimflam at 3:14 PM on September 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Why would you want to go work for someone who threw you under the bus? I say stay.
posted by J. Wilson at 3:37 PM on September 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by J. Wilson at 3:37 PM on September 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
If someone threw you under the bus once, assume they'll do it again.
posted by bitterpants at 5:29 PM on September 28, 2015
posted by bitterpants at 5:29 PM on September 28, 2015
Response by poster: Wow, surprising to see a near-consensus that I should stay away, when in "real life", it has been the other way around!
To answer the question that has been posed a few times in different ways (though I wonder if this is so far buried that it'll matter), and thank you all for your perspectives -- I would consider the job because it provides me with a better, more varied career path, and the work would be challenging with a true sense of accomplishment.
Your input has crystalized my hesitance into this: I'm worried about my friend who I'm afraid that, like in the fable with the frog and scorpion, he might throw me under the bus again. To be fair, it was an insanely toxic situation, and at least I know what he's capable of now when backed into a corner. It was a really minor bus-throwing, but was used by a terrible person to split up the team. There is enough backstabbing in my current job that the knives will come for me one day anyway, and it may be from any number of directions (instead of one influential direction).
As for pay, it would be a move to an industry that simply pays less - I've asked for more, but have been rebuffed, as they're already stretching to make this offer. I'm generally okay with this.
posted by theplatypus at 7:19 PM on September 28, 2015
To answer the question that has been posed a few times in different ways (though I wonder if this is so far buried that it'll matter), and thank you all for your perspectives -- I would consider the job because it provides me with a better, more varied career path, and the work would be challenging with a true sense of accomplishment.
Your input has crystalized my hesitance into this: I'm worried about my friend who I'm afraid that, like in the fable with the frog and scorpion, he might throw me under the bus again. To be fair, it was an insanely toxic situation, and at least I know what he's capable of now when backed into a corner. It was a really minor bus-throwing, but was used by a terrible person to split up the team. There is enough backstabbing in my current job that the knives will come for me one day anyway, and it may be from any number of directions (instead of one influential direction).
As for pay, it would be a move to an industry that simply pays less - I've asked for more, but have been rebuffed, as they're already stretching to make this offer. I'm generally okay with this.
posted by theplatypus at 7:19 PM on September 28, 2015
Best answer: To me there is no clear winner. I'd assess if you are happy enough at your job to stay or unhappy enough to take a gamble on a situation that could be better or worse. You know the pay, the commute, the industry, etc., but there are a lot of things you can't know or predict. Is it worth taking a chance? Another thing is to consider what you want to weight the most in these lists -- is a new career path your top priority? Then maybe job No. 2 is worth the gamble. Is job security and pay most important? Then stay at No. 1. Not everything in these lists are equal. If you then still can't decide, stop thinking, stop polling family, and go with your gut feeling.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:36 AM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:36 AM on September 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
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