Well..uh…I pack heavy?

September 21, 2015 7:52 AM

I’m on a business trip in a couple of days, and am flying and car pooling with a person who is a proud ‘carry-on only’ type, who openly mocks those who check luggage. I think I’m going to have to check a bag. I think ½ the broader team will check, but I might be the only one in this person’s car that does. I can't switch cars. This individual is high ranking, and while I don’t report to them now, I could in the future. They are generally regarded as a kind person, good boss etc, outside of this issue. Looking for suggestions for "come-backs" or other ways to diffuse any verbal attack that could be coming my way, without making the situation worse. Maybe humor?
posted by walkinginsunshine to Work & Money (58 answers total)

"I'm like a Boy Scout... I like to 'Be prepared.'"
posted by Night_owl at 7:57 AM on September 21, 2015 [5 favorites]

Mention you've taken the boy scout motto to heart, and like to "Be prepared"?

Personally I would just brush it off. I tend to travel light, so if you are taking a purse+carryon+ checked bag i might be a bit skeptical that you need all of that for an under 1 week trip, because then ok maybe that's a bit much for a business trip, but a checked bag + purse I would totally be ok with- you're checking your bag so you don't have to deal with it on the actual plane! That's a totally understandable personal preference. (I check my carryon sized bag always on the way home. it's one less thing to deal with at the airport, and on the way home I don't care if it gets lost)

and on preview. damn it. jinx!

also I'm assuming you're a woman, sub "small backpack" for purse if other gendered.
posted by larthegreat at 8:00 AM on September 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

"I don't go anywhere without my curling stones. "
posted by bondcliff at 8:01 AM on September 21, 2015 [23 favorites]

"My ass-kicking shoes are heavy."
posted by kimberussell at 8:03 AM on September 21, 2015 [11 favorites]

Do you want a comeback, or do you just want to have a not-uncomfortable conversation while this person is waiting around for your bag to show up on the conveyor belt? Because there may not be a way for this boss to not be transiently annoyed at waiting around for your bag, but depending on the personality you could get some good mileage out of a) suggesting Bossperson could go take a phone call/get the rental car/grab a coffee and you'll come find them or b) picking their brain about Travel Packing Hacks so that they get to talk on and on about how their packing system is superior and saves them so much time in airports. You might not feel great about that conversation, but if you listen and ask questions like you're seeing advice, a certain breed of Future Supervisor eats that kind of interaction right up.
posted by deludingmyself at 8:04 AM on September 21, 2015 [29 favorites]

I always check luggage, because I travel with a lot of hair product. (If you think that's ridiculous, you probably don't have incredibly thick, curly hair that requires a lot of TLC, or you want to spend part of your vacation buying things you already own, but will throw away before returning home.) I'm usually traveling with business type dudes with a small duffel. And I used to feel your anxiety, until I realized that saying "yeah, and it's almost all hair product!" pretty much takes away any ammo.

Seems like your options are:
a) Not care (best long-term option, but maybe not possible in the short term.)
b) Make the person feel really bad by explaining that your bag contains your [embarrassing and unfortunate medical device]. This can be a lie, if you like, because that person mocking you is bad and should feel bad. However don't make it something that is obviously untrue. "Hopefully I won't need my self-trepanning equipment on the plane, because it's too heavy to carry on!" you can say merrily.
c) "Yeah, but I'll be waiting for you to sort out your overhead luggage when I could be off the damn plane already."
d) "Yeah, but I can't travel without my Mad Dog 20/20! You know how it is."
e) Cold stare, which is frequently recommended here but which I honestly don't recommend if you want to maintain a positive relationship with this person.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:04 AM on September 21, 2015 [4 favorites]

"I had to pack all my lead underpants to keep the TSA from seeing the goods in their scanners."

then you can follow up with...

"The tinfoil hats folded up nicely into my carry on."
posted by phunniemee at 8:05 AM on September 21, 2015 [3 favorites]

If it's something like needing to carry a CPAP machine or something like that which is driving your need to check a bag, a brief professional, "I have medical needs that require additional space," should shut the questions down fast.

I recognize that it's not what you're asking, but have you exhausted your options for adapting to just using carry-on? With ninja packing skills, I have fit an astounding amount of clothing into a single bag of the appropriate size. Is mailing some of what you need to your hotel an option?
posted by Candleman at 8:05 AM on September 21, 2015 [4 favorites]

Just want to add, by "obviously untrue" I meant, like, something involving heavy scarring if you're going to the pool, I guess.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:06 AM on September 21, 2015

I'm in the strictly carry-on camp. I don't want to have to worry about lost luggage, stuff being stolen from it, plus I don't have to wait at the luggage rack.

Having said that, checked-in luggage provides the advantage of:

a.) being able to take more stuff with you

and

b.) being able to pack stuff that you can't normally carry-in (liquids, swiss army knives, etc.)

So pointing that out might be a good start.

However you did also say:

"They are generally regarded as a kind person, good boss etc, outside of this issue. "

Maybe just say "I can't tell if you're just teasing me or if you're actually offended."

That'll let you know the intent behind their "verbal attacks" which might just be ribbing.
posted by I-baLL at 8:06 AM on September 21, 2015 [9 favorites]

"I like to gamble in British casinos so I like to pack a few extra pounds."
posted by I-baLL at 8:08 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

Also, if you can tell us why you're checking we might be able to give you more tailored advice.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:09 AM on September 21, 2015

I am also not on Team No-Snappy-Comeback.

Do you have time before the trip when you could talk to the person and tell them the following:
"I know that you never check bags from [wherever you know this fact]. Since we are travelling together, I wanted to let you know in advance that I am going to need to check a bag. [provide no explanation - this only opens discussion]. Since we are sharing a car, please let me know what I can do to make the inconvenience as small as possible."
posted by jazh at 8:10 AM on September 21, 2015 [33 favorites]

I usually check my bag to bring stuff you can't carry on (large bottles of sauce usually), or more often to avoid the hassle of fighting for overhead space. The fights during the boarding process are real (and real inefficient).

"I'm checking my bag so it's easier for you not to."
posted by kendrak at 8:11 AM on September 21, 2015 [6 favorites]

I'd do my best to have my luggage as streamlined as possible. Imagine the bad scenario with a large purse, a carry-on backpack/laptop bag, and a shopping bag that you have to manage, and then you pick up a small-to-medium suitcase with a loose wheel. Aim for one nice solid suitcase (doesn't matter what size so long as you can lift it into cars and onto racks) plus one carryon item (professional looking shoulder bag) that is easy to manage (and a small purse that stays inside the main bag at all times). Checking a suitcase isn't a sin (make an excuse like "liquids" or "gym clothes" or something appropriate) but having too many bags leads to a discombobulated travel experience.
posted by aimedwander at 8:13 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

Given your situation, unless you have a health/physical issue, I would seriously attempt to put everything in a carry on. If you have a considerable wait for your bags, no humorous remark is going to make things better. I know this seems harsh, but it really is the expectation for people who travel for a living.

I wouldn't condone this person's attitude - nor would I ever attack someone for checking bags, but waiting for bags can take a considerable amount of time - especially if you are heading straight to the office from the airport - and a lost bag on a business trip is disaster...

If high ranking means CxO type - most I know would just leave you at the airport and expect you to find alternative transportation....

If you really can't fit it in a carryon - perhaps mailing some of your belongings ahead to the hotel?
posted by NoDef at 8:13 AM on September 21, 2015 [17 favorites]

I would say that I have a couple of items I need that have to be checked. He may not be happy with it, but it's not the sort of thing that's going to be career-ruining. Maybe you have a CPAP machine or something.
posted by xingcat at 8:16 AM on September 21, 2015

If they're higher-ranking, it seems like you couldn't go wrong saying something along the lines of oh, you always try to pack light but you can never pack that light, they make it look so easy. And let them brag on it a bit. You don't have to genuinely think that carry-on only is a superior way of doing things to let this person feel that they are indeed a fantastic human being for their packing skills. Guilt trips can be awkward in a work situation, but if someone challenges you with "here's how I'm better than you," then "wow, you sure are" may not be super satisfying but it does take a really gigantic asshole to keep saying you suck after that. As this person doesn't sound like a gigantic asshole, I think it'd work fine. It almost always works better to let someone feel undeservedly smug than it does to try to cut them back down to size.
posted by Sequence at 8:17 AM on September 21, 2015 [5 favorites]

I've had people make comments about my heavy packing for vacation, and I usually just smile and tell them why I do it. My carry-on is full of medical stuff. I like to bring one more outfit than I think I'll need because I don't want to take time away from what I'm doing to try to get something cleaned or laundered if I spill anything on it. Hotel soaps and shampoos tend to have scents and other things that irritate my skin and trigger asthma and migraines. I really want to wear Outfit A to Event B, but it only goes with Shoes C, which aren't practical/comfortable for the airport/plane. I don't know if it changes their opinion of me, but I like to think they respect my honesty.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:19 AM on September 21, 2015

If you do use the "Be prepared" line, remember Lord Baden-Powell's reply when he was asked "Be prepared for what?":

"Why, for any old thing."
posted by Etrigan at 8:19 AM on September 21, 2015 [9 favorites]

If you want to be succinct but serious, here's my (true) explanation for why I started checking: I've had to gate check so many times that I decided I would rather plan to check and thus at least get the benefit of more space/no liquids restrictions.
posted by trixie119 at 8:27 AM on September 21, 2015 [14 favorites]

check your flight. if it's a 767 you can say "i knew they'd be asking people to check because it's a 767..."

(at least, that was my experience this weekend).
posted by andrewcooke at 8:29 AM on September 21, 2015 [3 favorites]

NoDef has it. I travel a lot for business and I haven't checked a bag in 15 years. I can't think for a time when I was traveling for business when someone checked a bag - including international trips. I certainly wouldn't give you a hard time about it, but I'd be irritated about having to wait for your bag and get back to the airport early.

The best way to diffuse this is to avoid it. Ship whatever you need to the hotel.
posted by 26.2 at 8:29 AM on September 21, 2015 [7 favorites]

On the chance that you do want to try adapting to a carry on-only packing style, here is my little piece of advice for that:

COLLAPSIBLE BAG. Like one of those big ass reusable shopping bags that folds up all teeeeny tiny.

Assuming you're a woman, the purse imperative really interferes with the carry on count. A guy can fill his pockets with his necessaries and carry on a laptop case and a roller. But women? Ha, good luck, fuckers.

So what I do is use one of those big ass shopping bags to conceal my lies. You can throw a purse and a laptop bag and a jacket and a book and and and all into one big bag and it reads as 1 carry on item. Once I'm on the plane I pull out my regular bag and suddenly, boom, three carry ons like magic, and no one cares.

If your limiting factor is a lugging weight around issue, make sure you have a case that rolls well and has good balance. And I have never had a problem asking people for help stowing it. People are generally helpful, and if a flight attendant is nearby, it's literally their job.
posted by phunniemee at 8:31 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

It seems like you think he'll think of this as a chance to mock you. But he will probably not think about it that way. Instead he will wonder why you are wasting his time because you never learned how to pack a bag properly. And your other colleagues may think the same way, even if they are polite enough not to mention it. In some industries, checking a bag on a work trip would be deemed unprofessional.

I would do one of the following things, in decreasing order of desirability:

1. Don't check a bag. Do whatever you can to get things into carry-on bags. There are many threads here on MetaFilter and elsewhere on the internet explaining how to pack efficiently. Mail things to the hotel if necessary.
2. Have a clearly articulable reason why you can't do that. I'm not sure what this would be, because medical devices and liquids are often exceptions to normal carry-on limits.
3. Arrange alternate transportation so that you don't delay everyone else.

posted by grouse at 8:37 AM on September 21, 2015 [9 favorites]

I never get the fuss about checking a bag, seriously of all the things you wait for when travelling, waiting for the bags is the least of it. I travel domestically & internationally all the time & check bags & just take a handbag on the plane, no fighting for overhead space, no trying to wear crumpled up clothes, I have all my fav. toiletries in sizes I can actually use & a change of shoes. You do you, own it proudly, apologize for the wait if you feel you need to, if they keep going on shrug & don't respond or tell them you'll meet them at the Starbucks counter.

If it's a higher up you need to make a good impression on, you may want to think about the pre-preemptive compliment to their packing skills (no matter what you really think of them) defense, he's going to be waiting for you so a bit of buttering up never hurt, & if you get in early you head off his comments to you. Lots of head shaking as you wait with comments like "Man I wish I had your skills." sort of thing.
posted by wwax at 8:55 AM on September 21, 2015 [6 favorites]

I'm short, and I find using a carry on to be stressful - much more stressful and upsetting to me than waiting at baggage check. I find fighting for overhead bin space to be distasteful and stressful, and unless it's a day trip, I check my bag.

Additionally, when I've traveled recently, they've been seriously pushing people to gate-check bags due to space concerns, so really, it's just so much of a hassle either way.

So, if you are on the short side and also find the experience of carrying a bag on to be stressful (really whether you are short or not) then it's fine to say that you find carryon luggage to be stressful and disruptive to your ability to prepare for the upcoming meeting(s). For me, this would be ALL TRUE.

Secondarily, unless you are in an early boarding group, there is a high possibility you would be asked/required to gate-check anyway because flights are so full these days.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:56 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

As much as I love a good snappy comeback, sine this person is a higher-up in the company ( and potentially your direct boss), I'm afraid I've got to recommend just packing less and using a carry-on.

Ways that'll help: max of two pairs of shoes (one you're wearing, one in the bag); decanting every liquid you can into those tiny travel bottles and/or buying travel-sizes in the first place; limiting clothes; stuffing some items into a larger-than-your-usual purse.
posted by easily confused at 8:57 AM on September 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

More anecdata: Another traveler who had to check a carry on (both ways) on my most recent flight. In my case, I was the last boarding group. I am not a frequent flier, nor did I choose to pay the extra board early fee.
posted by JawnBigboote at 9:01 AM on September 21, 2015

"I've been asked to gate check my carry-on about half the time anyway, and I like to be prepared."
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 9:02 AM on September 21, 2015

Don't challenge him. Ask him about his packing strategy.

People who do this *love* to talk about their packing methods, lists, special bags, websites, and paraphernalia. You'll come off as being interested and engaged, and he'll love that he's got an audience who wants to hear about the joys of rolling clothes and Space Bags.
posted by yellowcandy at 9:03 AM on September 21, 2015 [15 favorites]

I trust that you have thought this through and so, I trust that if you decide to check in a bag, it is because there is a compelling reason.

If your travel companion is a reasonable person, they will understand, and assume you would avoid the hassle if you could.

What I would do is give them heads up, in case they decide they would prefer to head to the office on their own, or if their schedule is not very flexible that day. Send them an email with something like "I wanted to let you know that due to ABC reasons (no need to go into detail) I will have to check in a bag, which might interfere with your plans." You can add an apologetic remark that implies you would avoid it if you could, but you can't.

If they decide to still come with you, answer their comments initially with an apologetic paraphrase of the email, and then don't say anything. They will soon get bored and change the subject.

If however they are not reasonable, then any resulting issue is more due to their lack of sense than on your packing habits, and no amount of preparation or accommodation could fix that.
posted by Tarumba at 9:04 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

Diehard carry-on person here: I recently checked a bag for the first time in 10+ years. I was surprised at how long it took, and while I'd be gracious and understanding about it, I'd definitely be a little annoyed about the holdup. Even if you have good reasons, it's going to be read as a slight faux pas.

If you must do this, I'd plan on offering to buy a round of drinks or coffee for everyone in your car while they are waiting for you. That sort of thing can go a long way. Also agree a heads up email beforehand is a good idea too.

Another option, depending on your needs, could be to mail something to the hotel (especially anything work-related like handouts/files). They generally charge $5 for this, but it is very easy to do.
posted by veery at 9:13 AM on September 21, 2015 [3 favorites]

The answer to a lot of this kind of thing where there is a boundary that you have to enforce to someone with power over you is "Haha, yeah...(subject change.)" Doesn't start a fight, doesn't ask for any additional discussion, doesn't make you feel like you're being rude. The little laugh should be at yourself and the situation for being silly and inconvenient but harmless, and the "yeah" should draw out a little and trail off as if to say "Well, what're you gonna do..."

You can just let him complain if he's going to-- it'll make it obvious to everyone in the car who here is choosing to be a jerk, and make it obvious you don't really agree, and you're too classy to fight about something petty. The fact is that you're not going to change your behavior with the bag, but he's the boss and you're not going to fight about who is right (Nobody here is right. There is no universal right answer to carry-on vs. check.)

Or: "Airlines are being cheap and charge for every little thing these days, so when they give me a free checked bag, I take advantage of it and get my own back a little. Stupid cheap airlines. You should totally take two packets of pretzels."
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:19 AM on September 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

Given that this is a potential boss/definitely a higher up who you want to impress, and that the trip is only for "a couple of days", I would do a lot to figure out how to make things fit in the carry on. I'm not clear from your question why you want to check -- if you could specify that, we might have better answers for you. If it's just wanting to bring extra outfits or not wanting to worry about packing light, I would get over it and just do a carry on. If it's a legit medical reason or something similar, I think you can say that and a good boss should be understanding.

As others have outlined above, there are real, non-douchebag reasons to prefer not checking a bag. You have to get to the airport early and wait for the baggage carousel; there's the potential for lost bags and then not having needed items/business clothing plus having to coordinate the details of getting reunited with your luggage later on; if you're carpooling with multiple people, there may not be room in the car for more than one carry-on size bag per person, etc. For these reasons, I wouldn't try to prepare a snappy comeback -- while it's possible this person is being an asshole, given that he's otherwise a good boss it seems likely that he has legitimate reasons for wanting people to not cause unnecessary delays/problems. If this were a 2-week trip or something, I'd be sympathetic, but absent some sort of extraordinary situation, it's hard for me to see why a carry on won't suffice for a 2-day trip. If you've got that extraordinary situation, give everyone a heads up and be clear on your reasons/apologetic about the delays; if not, suck it up and pack light.
posted by rainbowbrite at 9:24 AM on September 21, 2015 [4 favorites]

In case this might solve your problem, I've FedExed "extras" to hotels many times, and recommend the practice, especially if it will allow you to carry-on for this trip and not annoy your exec.

Two tips:

1.) Address it to your hotel, of course, but be sure to add on the memo line: "Arriving Guest walkinginsunshine [date of arrival]." This is a standard practice that all hotels, at least in the US, will understand.

2.) Send it so that it arrives no earlier than one day before your arrival, so that they can log it in their reservation system. In my experience, they'll advise you that you have a package when you check in.

Some hotels charge for this service, like about $10, but most don't.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 9:32 AM on September 21, 2015 [8 favorites]

How do you know that half the team will be checking a bag for a 2-3 day trip? I really don't know many work travelers who deal with that annoyance these days. At least with a gate-checked bag, you have a pretty good sense it's getting ON the plane, and it usually comes out right at the gate on the other side. This is a good opportunity to get a nice roller bag if you need one.
posted by barnone at 9:35 AM on September 21, 2015

Hi, we're friends now! I say this so that you can say this to your boss while waiting for luggage:

"You know, I had a friend who swore she would never ever check luggage, especially on a business trip. And then she went on a really important business trip, and they forced her to check her carryon bag planeside, and then they lost it in a layover, along with all of her business clothes. If carrying on is also a crapshoot, then I'd just as soon not have to drag my bag through an airport only to potentially have to check it anyway, and then also have it maybe get lost anyway."
posted by a fiendish thingy at 9:39 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

Another vote for asking this person how they travel so light. And to score extra points, remember to agree with them and say "I'll have to try that next time!" no matter how insane and unworkable their suggestions are. You might end up making a good impression and making them forget about how much the dislike bag-checkers.

The point isn't to learn anything - maybe you will, maybe you won't - but rather to get through the wait with as little awkwardness as possible. It's like asking someone about their boring hobby to be polite. They might be delighted to talk about their system.
posted by Tehhund at 9:41 AM on September 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks for all the advice. This is a annual trip, 1/2 the team will check based on previous trips. If I don't check, I'll likely have to gate check as I have no flyer status. I'm going to try for carry on.
posted by walkinginsunshine at 9:43 AM on September 21, 2015 [6 favorites]

Another piece of useful anecdata: one time I proudly packed to avoid checking my bag and then someone took it out of the overhead compartment and I never saw it again. Along with all my business clothes. Tell your boss it happened to someone you know and it spooked you.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 9:44 AM on September 21, 2015 [5 favorites]

Have a clearly articulable reason why you can't do that. I'm not sure what this would be, because medical devices and liquids are often exceptions to normal carry-on limits.

Nobody makes exceptions for cosmetics, shampoos, hair product, hair straightener and so on that women often need (especially on a business trip!) but which men rarely think of as necessary.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 10:04 AM on September 21, 2015 [13 favorites]

Yeah, someone stole my jacket out of the overhead compartment the last time I was on a plane. I bought myself a bigger suitcase today, so that I can pack as much as possible in my checked luggage next time. I just cannot trust overhead lockers anymore.

If you pack for carry-on and are then forced to gate check, I really don't think you'll need to come up with a witty come back. A pained smile and a shrug will just about sum it up.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 10:05 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm one of those check-in only types. Even for multi-week international trips. The last thing I'd want to do when getting off a long haul flight is wait around for someone's luggage. In fact, once went over to the UK in a group of five or so, and one guy checked - he took a huge amount of grief about it from some of us (though not me, at least not verbally).

Look into bundle packing or rolling your clothes. NYT ran a story a while back about a flight attendant packing 10 days worth of stuff in a single carry-on. It's more than possible, but bags packed for max stuff are hella heavy. Isn't this a business trip? Pack for six days and expense the laundry. Alternatively, ship stuff back and forth from the hotel.
posted by NoRelationToLea at 10:20 AM on September 21, 2015

Diehard carry-on person here: I recently checked a bag for the first time in 10+ years. I was surprised at how long it took

Conversely, I'm surprised at how long boarding takes now that people who wanted to check bags end up waiting for the offer of a free gate-check, and everybody else plays the worst 3D jigsaw stuffing their tactical roll-aboards into the bins.

I'm with those who suggest making a conversation about 'travel strategy' out of it. People who are into that kind of stuff are really into the details.
posted by holgate at 10:20 AM on September 21, 2015 [9 favorites]

> Thanks for all the advice. This is a annual trip, 1/2 the team will check based on previous trips. If I don't check, I'll likely have to gate check as I have no flyer status. I'm going to try for carry on.

In light of this, I cannot fathom why you would go to the extra stress and effort of trying to carry on, then. It's just a bunch of extra work for you with no reward. It's not going to win you any points with your superior to have twisted yourself in knots to carry-on.

It's not going to solve the time issue because other people on the trip will have checked luggage. Plus, gate-checked items (except for strollers, etc.) typically now go to baggage claim for pickup along with everyone else who checked their luggage in the first place.

I say this as a devoted carry-on person.
posted by desuetude at 10:58 AM on September 21, 2015 [4 favorites]

I'd say do what you want and don't take any guff, but this isn't a colleague of your level or lower. This is a person with seniority who could have influence over your career track at some point. And, while it's grossly unprofessional to judge someone or limit them professionally over something this small and insignificant, I wouldn't risk the damage it could do. People are petty, self-important, and have their pet peeves. I think your decision to try carry-on given the situation is a good one. I am a notorious overpacker, but with thoughtful planning and a carry-on and larger personal item (backpack) that I can stuff under the seat in front of me, I've managed fine.
posted by quince at 11:18 AM on September 21, 2015

@desuetude - i think the point is that his car can leave first.
posted by andrewcooke at 11:19 AM on September 21, 2015

If I don't check, I'll likely have to gate check as I have no flyer status.

"Likely" is not really accurate. I no longer have status on any airline despite traveling often (61,869 mi in 2015 so far!). When I have a suitcase that fits into overhead bins, I rarely to never have to gate-check it. I can't remember the last time it happened.

Good on you for being considerate of your co-workers.
posted by grouse at 11:40 AM on September 21, 2015 [3 favorites]

On gate checking -- I think this is really dependent on your seat, how full the flight is, and whether they charge to check a bag. When I've flow airlines like Southwest and Jetblue that have a free checked bag, I've rarely had to gate check (though it occasionally happens). With the ones that charge hefty fees to check, of course more people are trying to drag bags onto the plane. Even in those airlines, even if you don't have 'status', if you don't end up in the last boarding group, you also may not need to gate check. So, while gate checking is a possibility, it's definitely not guaranteed. Also, if you have to do it, there's obviously no way your coworker can blame your for it, and presumably others in your group will need to as well if you are seated together.
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:44 AM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

(I generally prefer to check my bag. I cannot imagine having an opinion about how someone else manages their luggage.)

"Oh, I just prefer it this way," is a perfectly valid, adult comeback to unwanted advice/criticism about choices you make that don't affect the other person. It has the advantage of being repeatable without seeming obnoxious:

Loudmouth: Checking bags is stupid. Why would you ever do that?
You: Oh, I just prefer it this way.
Loudmouth: But you could save so much time if you didn't check a bag.
You: Yeah, but I just prefer it this way.
Loudmouth: You're probably packing too much.
You: (shrug) This is the way I prefer it.
Loudmouth: What are you bringing that won't fit in your carryon?
You: Oh, don't worry about me--I really just prefer it this way.
posted by Meg_Murry at 12:09 PM on September 21, 2015 [7 favorites]

I don't want to make assumptions, but just in case you are a wavy/curly-haired woman and are set on going with the carry-on, would get travel bottles & jars for hair stuff. If going wavy: water down your conditioner and use that as curl creme; coconut oil to finish. If straightening: mini-straighteners exist; the hotel will hopefully have a hair dryer. Clothes: roll, don't fold. Two day-to-night sheath dresses (like this one - but not that one, holy zipper) > suit, re efficiency anyway (more easily rollable & steamable; less stuff full stop). 2 pairs of shoes max, wear one pair [flats] while travelling.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 12:27 PM on September 21, 2015

I traveled with a boss who never made remarks about me checking luggage but who conveyed his thoughts through looking askance. At the time, I had a beautiful set of mauve samsonite luggage, none of which was appropriate for carry on.

One time the trip was really short and I had a lot of extra room in my suitcase so I packed a big ass teddy bear that I had purchased the week before. I don't normally buy or own teddy bears but this was a great one. I mean, I could tell you more about it, but suffice it to say that when my boss wiggled his eyebrows at my suitcase meaningfully, I really had to use a great deal of self control to prevent myself from saying something like, "well at least 50 percent of the room in that suitcase is taken up by a single teddy bear." I didn't say it, but it made me kind of laugh. Which made him realize that being judgmental about suitcases is kind of funny. So he laughed.

Also, sex toys are way more transportable in checked luggage. I SHIT YOU NOT.
posted by janey47 at 12:32 PM on September 21, 2015 [4 favorites]

"You could go pick up the car while I'm getting my bag. I'll meet you at the curb."
posted by bowmaniac at 1:07 PM on September 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

I think trying to pack carry-on is best. If you have to gate check, well, that's not under your control.

I'm usually a strict carry-on only person. (Recent 4 week Europe trip, one carry on, with room to spare. But I'm also a short women so my clothes take up less volume. I pack one extra pair of flats.) We had to check in some backpacking gear for a backpacking trip. Checking in the luggage alone, NOT including security, took an extra 45 minutes. Then of course we had to wait to get them picked up. Not recommended unless actually necessary.

But there are definitely valid reasons for checking a bag (including being more prepared) so don't feel bad about it if that's just the way you travel. I would just shrug and say, "Not everything I need fits in a carry on" and leave it at that.
posted by ethidda at 1:47 PM on September 21, 2015

If it wasn't for the power imbalance thing I certainly wouldn't worry about it. I fly a lot for personal and business reasons and I often check bags, it's not a big deal (admittedly once you're a frequent flyer your bags get priority so mine usually come off the conveyor first, but either way it should be a non-issue). Also as a frequent flyer I applaud anyone who checks bags, as the most annoying thing these days is people carrying on too much and taking forever and.... well anyway, checking bags is good.

But of course if it will affect you professionally, it might be worth doing carry-on if its not a ridiculous hassle. One of those little issues where the tradeoff is not so bad and the long-term benefits of the carryon (good impression with exec) might be worth the short-term consequence.
posted by thefoxgod at 1:55 PM on September 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

Depending on the exact relationship you have with your superior, you could try something along the lines of (when the subject arises): "Well, I plan to be an exemplary employee/colleague during this business trip, so I had to have one minor issue that you could suggest improvement upon in my next conduct review".
posted by birdsquared at 2:40 PM on September 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

What airline are you on? I've recently been flying an airline that guarantees your checked bags will be at the baggage claim within a specified time. If you're on such an airline, you might use that to buttress your arguments for checking. And as bowmaniac said, you can catch up while they're waiting in the car rental line.

Or maybe you could possibly get a friend in the 2nd car (those laggards with checked bags) to bring your bag?

And FedEx'ing is a great feeling. Compare that cost to the cost of checking. Some airlines are now charging for carry on....
posted by at at 9:33 PM on September 21, 2015