Which cat should I get?

December 6, 2005 7:03 PM

CatFilter: There are two cats I would like to adopt, but I only have room for one. I'm agonizing over which to choose. Help me decide!

I just met cat #1 (Leche) tonight. I had actually gone to a Texas Siamese Rescue foster home to check out a different cat, but found Leche really interesting. He's everything I've been looking for. He's gorgeous, outgoing, and not too needy. He even fetches! He's a former shelter cat, about eight months old.

I met cat #2 (Slippers) for the first time on Saturday. She's at the city shelter. She was one of four cats I liked at the shelter, and visited her again tonight. She's extremely affectionate, but also didn't seem to loud or needy. I sat down in her cage, and she came and sat on my lap and gave me nose kisses. She chewed on my sleeve, too, although I'm not sure what that means. I took her out of the cage so I could play with her in a visitation room. She was fine with me picking her up but leaped out of my arms when I tried to take her into the isolated room. I put her back in the cage and she was fine.

So here's the issue. On paper, Leche is everything I want; he's an awesome cat but I'm not immediately drawn to him in the emotional way I am to Slippers (this could be guilt b/c she's a tiny shelter cat). However, he's a much safer bet in terms of personality and health. And I think he has potential to only get better. Slippers seems like a bit of a wildcard. I'm not sure how she would be when I got her home, she's been sick, and all the cats at the shelter have colds. She seems to need a home more than Leche (he's living it up in a huge house with a bunch of other cats), but there's no danger of Slippers being euthanized.

I know logically I should get Leche. I keep thinking about the worst case scenario...that I get Slippers home and she ends up being a bad match or in poor health. Other the other hand, I worry that I'll feel guilty for not adopting her.

So that's it. Both cats have a lot of potential. One's a sure thing, but I feel like the other needs me more.

posted by lunalaguna to Pets & Animals (35 answers total)

How small is your place? Two cats can share one litterbox and food and water dishes, so, as long as they at least tolerate each other's presence, two don't take up much more room than one.
posted by amarynth at 7:19 PM on December 6, 2005

Slippers seems nice enough- obviously this is an emotional choice, so go with emotions. Help the shelter cat out. The siamese in a rescue will be happy regardless.

Besides, who likes safe bets? :)
posted by thethirdman at 7:24 PM on December 6, 2005

It sounds like you want Slippers. So get Slippers. If she really turns out to be a bad cat, you can certainly return her to the shelter. Anyway, cats can be pretty capricious so I'm not sure how you can be so certain this "Leche" (if that is his real name) is really perfect.
posted by thirteenkiller at 7:28 PM on December 6, 2005

Like amarynth, I'm wondering why you think you only have room for one cat? I do think that you need at least as many litterboxes as cats (although I've had as many as three cats with one litterbox without trouble), but other than that (and double vet fees once a year), two cats aren't much different from one cat.

That said, if you really can only have one, go with the one you're most drawn to, Slippers, for all the potential problems she may have (what do you mean by "sick"? If you mean she has had an upper respiratory infection, this is pretty common in shelter cats, and may not be a big deal) is the one that speaks to you, and especially in a cat, you're looking for a companion, so logic, schmogic (unless she's been seriously ill, that is). Remember that animals are often quite traumatized by living in a shelter, and the behaviour you're seeing is unlikely to be her full, real self.
posted by biscotti at 7:29 PM on December 6, 2005

Response by poster: Yeah, I really don't feel like I can have two cats, nor do I want to. I'm renting a one-bedroom duplex that's less than 500 square feet, I have literally only one place I can put a small litterbox, and my boyfriend's not terribly thrilled with me getting one cat. And I'm a bit nervous about having my renting options restricted with two cats if i decide to move.
posted by lunalaguna at 7:32 PM on December 6, 2005

cats really don't take up a lot of room.
posted by puke & cry at 7:32 PM on December 6, 2005

Two, two, two times the fun!
Just like there is always room for Jello, there is always room for another cat. Two is nothing.
posted by caddis at 7:35 PM on December 6, 2005

Having had a cat, two isn't usually too much, *BUT* with only 500 sq ft. even one is a squeeze, so stick with getting just one of them (you know which one you want, you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet :o)
posted by shepd at 7:46 PM on December 6, 2005

Slippers - you admit that you're drawn to her. Leche will find another happy home. It'll be hard work, yes, but it sounds like it would be really worth it for both you and her if it worked out.
posted by Lotto at 7:53 PM on December 6, 2005

Hmm, I just read your last comment about your boyfriend. Make sure he is OK with two before going that route. You might try taking him to see the cats. A lot of people who profess to hate or not care for cats are charmed instantly in their actual presence. 500 square feet is plenty of room for a couple of cat fanciers and a couple of cats, but perhaps not so much if someone is not so fancy on the cats.
posted by caddis at 7:53 PM on December 6, 2005

What do they say for decisions of the heart -- flip a coin, and in mid-air, whichever one you are suddenly, frantically rooting for is your real choice.

I had to decide between the cute and cuddly kitten-sister and the cute and playful one, and I chose the latter. Of course, now I am covered in bitemarks, and my duvet looks like a percale golf course.

I don't regret my selection. I wouldn't trade her for a bucket of nickels. What I do regret, though, is not taking them both. My place was about the same size as yours, minus the boyfriend. A hooded litterbox with frequent cleaning would have been just fine.
posted by Sallyfur at 7:56 PM on December 6, 2005

Actually it sounds to me like you want Leche, but you feel guilty about Slippers. The fact is, the world is full of cats you cannot take home. Get the cat you want to live with for the rest of its life, not the cat you feel sorry for.

My housemate picked our cat, Kwai Chiang Caine, out of the litter because he was little and sad-looking and she felt sorry for him. H turned out to be completely sociopathic. Moral of the story: patheticness is not a good cat selection algorithm.
posted by ottereroticist at 8:09 PM on December 6, 2005

Leche will find another happy home

There's a thought - know anyone else who wants a cat right now? It's sort of like networking in the human world - he comes a little pre-tested.
posted by whatzit at 8:13 PM on December 6, 2005

I do think that you need at least as many litterboxes as cats

Actually, the standard recommendation is N+1 litter boxes, where N is the number of cats.

And, for what it's worth, I'd vote for Leche. Feeling sorry for a cat is one basis for a relationship, but a cat can be more than something to take care of.
posted by WestCoaster at 8:31 PM on December 6, 2005

See if you can get to see the two cats together. It will probably be a pain, especially if you think Slippers might be (getting) sick, but I'd think it's worthwhile. Maybe a trial of a few hours, with the option to extend it to a day or two, in your house?

I strongly second the recommendation that your boyfriend check them out. Also, how serious are you? Do you think your relationship will outlast a cat's lifespan? I don't think too many landlords (around here, anyway) will say "One cat's okay, but two cats? You can't live here."

I'd advocate getting two cats way more than one, as long as they get along. Littermates usually get along better, but it wouldn't be astonishing if two unrelated cats of opposite sexes got along.

It sounds like no matter what choice you make, you'll be beating yourself up. Two cats do eat double the food and have double the vet bills, but they don't need double the litterboxes and they certainly don't need double the space. And they have a much better, happier, more social, and less needy life than one cat would.
posted by booksandlibretti at 8:37 PM on December 6, 2005

I'm going to chime in with the minority (so far) as well: guilt is no basis for a relationship. Slippers doesn't need you, she needs someone. My $0.02: get Leche, who will fit better into your life, and let Slippers find a better match.
posted by sennoma at 8:44 PM on December 6, 2005

If you're only going to get the one cat, make sure you pick the cat you think will be most okay without a playmate. If Leche has been used to hanging out with a bunch of other cats, he might be lonely on his own. Slippers sounds like she's more used to being alone.

As for the one vs. two cat debate - stick with the one if you're comfortable with that. It's the route I went when I got my first cat, and it's better to adopt another one later than have too many to start with (I now have two, so they could keep each other company when I'm not around; it's worked well).

Living restrictions: you will be resticted with just the one cat. Like booksandlibretti said, most places draw the line at any pets vs. no pets, not one cat vs. two (though I have seen two cats as a limit).

Lots of cats come from shelters with colds. My first cat had a wretched one when I brought him home, but it cleared up with a little medicine and some time. My second cat was at the shelter because someone had adopted him, he had a cold, and the person returned him. (Stupid person, happy me, as that cat is now keeping my lap warm as I type.) The shelter should be able to tell you more about the cold and what you can expect if you adopt Slippers.
posted by bibbit at 8:50 PM on December 6, 2005

I was in a very similar situation last year: the shelter had a very young pure black kitten that perfectly matched what I wanted. On a whim I had them introduce me to an older cat, over 6 months old, plain tabby and skinny as a rope. Well, she was so emotionally responsive and tender that it broke my heart, plus I knew that since she was older and plainer that she'd have a harder time getting a home. The whole point of getting a kitten was to have a tiny kitten, and this one was mostly grown.

I was luckier than you: it was easy to make the decision because the perfect black kitten had just had its operation and wouldn't be able to leave for a couple of days. The skinny, plain, devoted one could leave immediately. I brought her home that day with some reservations, but she has turned out to be the sweetest, most intelligent, most faithful animal I've ever known. Also, with love and a healthy home Dura has grown into a sleek, beautiful cat by anyone's standards.

Getting a cat is not getting a car. You can't shoot for the long term because you don't know what the long term is. The short term situation is someone needs you, and they've let you know it. Only you can know what is right in this case. But I'm rooting for Slippers.
posted by hermitosis at 9:06 PM on December 6, 2005

There have been some good suggestions here. It's often forgotten that cats are sociable creatures and if left alone for most of the day can suffer from loneliness. For cats that have no access to the great outdoors, this can be a serious hindrance to their happiness. All mammals benefit from the company of their own kind and in the case of puppies and kittens, essential aspects of their psychological development are taken good care of if they grow up amongst others of their kind. Having two cats is better for the cats themselves. However, if your partner is not keen on you getting even one cat and doesn't respond to a visit to the shelter to be charmed, then it might be unwise for you to go ahead in getting even one. Imagine how you might feel if you went to live in a home where half the people really didn't want you there? Good luck! :)
posted by Arqa at 4:50 AM on December 7, 2005

Actually, the standard recommendation is N+1 litter boxes, where N is the number of cats.

That doesn't sound right. Why do you need more litterboxes than cats?
posted by antifuse at 5:26 AM on December 7, 2005

Actually, the standard recommendation is N+1 litter boxes, where N is the number of cats.

Hence my use of the modifier "at least". But I have never once had more litterboxes than cats, and have never had a problem...and I've had a lot of cats.
posted by biscotti at 5:31 AM on December 7, 2005

Imagine how you might feel if you went to live in a home where half the people really didn't want you there?

This is a very good point. I also don't think that people should be expected to live with animals when they don't want to, it's unfair and often a bad scene for all concerned.
posted by biscotti at 5:33 AM on December 7, 2005

I have one cat that sounds a lot like Leche and one that sounds a lot like Slippers. My sweet cat is very loving and hardly ever moves, so she never causes me any trouble. The playful one always tries to sneak out, loudly demands to be held all the time, and scratches the couch. I adore them both to pieces. I would say that, if your boyfriend isn't too keen on the idea, you should get the cat less likely to cause trouble, which sounds like Slippers.

Actually, the standard recommendation is N+1 litter boxes, where N is the number of cats.

For as long as I've had two cats, I've only had one litterbox. Am I abusing my kitties? If I add another litterbox, is it ok if it's next to my current litterbox, or should it be in another location?
posted by amarynth at 6:02 AM on December 7, 2005

It helps to have more the more cats you have but one or two litterboxes less than a small number of cats is hurting nobody, provided you empty them regularly.

FWIW, my old next door neighbour had one litterbox for twelve cats - she used to foster homeless ones and often kept those that couldn't be found new homes. That was pushing things a little I guess but then they were nearly always outside.
posted by vbfg at 6:14 AM on December 7, 2005

This time last year I swore up and down that I hated cats. My ex wore me down, and now I have three. (Got rid of the guy, kept the felines.) We adopted them each about two months apart. They're each happier having playmates, and I feel less guilty now that my schedule has changed and I'm home a lot less. I have two litterboxes for the three of them, which is fine since they get along well and I clean the boxes every night. The N+1 recommendation comes from the fact that some cats like to have one box for one kind of business, and another for the other. If you wanted to have two cats, you could start with one litterbox (that's what I had when I had the first two cats), and add another if you have out-of-box accidents.

Two cats do eat double the food and have double the vet bills,
Actually, my vet gives me a discount when I bring in my cats at the same time. I'll bet you can find a vet who would do the same.

The most important kind of space that cats need, I've found, is vertical space. I also swore that I'd never have one of those ridiculous "cat condos," but I've had one for about 6 months now and the cats and I are thrilled. They never scratch anything except the sisal-covered posts of the condo, and are much more easily persuaded to stay off of other furniture because they love hanging out on it. (These can be very expensive, but I got a great one for cheap from an eBay vendor. Feel free to email me about it.)

As for the potential illness issue: Leche could easily be sick, too, esp. since he's a former shelter cat. But, as long as they're both tested for FIV and Feline Leukemia, I wouldn't really worry about it. My first cat has herpes, which he probably picked up in the shelter, but we didn't know that when we got him. His main symptom is a constantly runny eye, which is kept mostly in check by l-lysine pills that I buy at GNC and crush up in his food. This is all a way of saying that I don't think it sounds like you're taking more of a health gamble with Slippers than with Leche.

As far as Slippers' behavior goes, I'm impressed that you were able to pick her up at all--it's not something I would have tried on first or second meeting with my cats. My girl still hates to be picked up, so I don't do it unless absolutely necessary, and only one of the boys genuinely likes being up. That she was affectionate at all when you first met her is, I think, a very good sign. Again with my first cat--we adopted him despite the fact that he was a bit reserved with us at the shelter, and on the first night he slept on the bed with us. Every morning he wakes me up by walking around my head and purring like a broken tractor.

I can't really tell which cat you should get--though I do think two are better than one. You probably do have enough space, but you may still want to ease into it. Good luck, and let us know what happens.
posted by CiaoMela at 7:22 AM on December 7, 2005

Go for Leche - those fetching Siamese are pals for life. Every siamese I've ever had (and there have been quite a few in my family) gets attached to their owner in a really unique way. With the fetching, "talking", devotion to their owners, this particular variety of Siamese is the most dog-like of any cats I've seen, which is definitely a good thing.

Careful about the "cold" that the 2nd cat has - could be feline herpes, which will infect other cats and come back often.
posted by sluggo at 7:23 AM on December 7, 2005

Careful about the "cold" that the 2nd cat has - could be feline herpes, which will infect other cats and come back often.

Actually, as I mentioned above, one of my cats has herpes. The other two don't, and they won't get it, because they were completely vaccinated before they came into contact with him--I believe it's the distemper cocktail that cats get that includes innoculation against herpes and the like. It's true that herpes basically can't be eradicated once the cat is infected, but it's entirely manageable.
posted by CiaoMela at 8:20 AM on December 7, 2005

She chewed on my sleeve, too, although I'm not sure what that means

Did she chew on you as well? Not hard; just love bites? Those are kisses. More behavior tips here.
posted by weirdoactor at 10:10 AM on December 7, 2005

LitterBoxFilter (sidethread) From What Every Cat Owner Should Know About the Prevention Of Litterbox Problems:

2. The rule of thumb for the number of litterboxes is: one per cat in the household, plus one. Extra litterboxes are necessary because some cats like to defecate in one and urinate in another. Others will not use a box that has already been used by another cat. Different areas for the litterboxes can prevent location-avoidance problems.

Which isn't to say that fewer litterboxes, or just one location, is a problem - but it could be. N+1 is a preventive approach. The question to be asked is whether fewer boxes seem to be working fine and the cat(s) is/are happy.

[I first saw this advice in Catnip Newsletter, published by Tufts University.]
posted by WestCoaster at 12:49 PM on December 7, 2005

I vote for both - a lot of cats do better with a feline companion. If you can, take them both home for a few days (a week?) trial. That should let you know how cats, boyfriend and you will/can adjust. Expense-wise two cats are only slightly more expensive than one. The exception is vet costs, of course. But, as noted above, some vets will offer discounts for multiple animals.

I have two cats, one litter box and a husband in just under 400 square feet. We all get along fine.
posted by deborah at 2:30 PM on December 7, 2005

Response by poster: ok, i don't know if anyone will read this, but here's how it's turned out. i really truly wanted both equally but was feeling overwhelmed by the thought of having two cats. But as booksandlibretti said, I knew I would beat myself up either way, certainly if I didn't adopt Slippers. So I went to the shelter, agonized for another twenty minutes, and then put a hold on Slippers. I immediately realized I still wanted Leche, too. I called Leche's foster mom, and she (surprisingly and ironically) said she wasn't comfortable adopting out Leche as an only cat. I explained the whole Leche vs. Slippers issue. She advised me to adopt Slippers, have a vet check her out, and call her back next week about the possibility of adopting Leche as well. I'm considering it. However, everything is so far so good with Slippers (to be renamed Plum, I think). She's adjusting amazingly well. Thanks for the advice.
posted by lunalaguna at 4:15 PM on December 7, 2005

Oh, good, lunalaguna, I'm glad it seems to be working out well. Landlords shouldn't be a concern when you're considering in this case; two might be a cutoff, but I've never seen one as the max. The only thing you didn't mention is . . . your boyfriend. What's he think? Is he adapting? Did he meet either one? Heck, did the cats meet each other?

Please do let us know about your eventual decision.
posted by booksandlibretti at 4:40 PM on December 7, 2005

Glad things are going well so far.. do update again and let us know what happens! Have fun with your cat(s).
posted by Lotto at 4:59 PM on December 7, 2005

Response by poster: My boyfriend (who, I should add, does not live with me) previously met Slippers and agreed she would make a good pet, but he was encouraging me to get Leche based on my description of him being an easy-going cat. He doesn't dislike cats, per se; he just doesn't really want to deal with any pets. I think he liked it better when I had a sugar glider that he didn't have to interact with at all. When I mentioned getting two cats, he seemed surprised I wanted to do it. That was a few days ago, when I wasn't seriously considering two cats. We haven't discussed it since. I think the trick is to convince him that I'll stay over at his place more if I have two cats (because I won't be worried about the one cat being alone). The cats themselves won't meet until early next week, if I indeed decide to adopt two.
posted by lunalaguna at 5:51 PM on December 7, 2005

I'm glad you are considering having both cats. Plum will probably be much happier with a friend to hang out with and be less dependant on you for attention. Cats have an uncanny ability to make friends with humans who are less than keen on them as a species.

I hope it all works out for you all.
posted by Arqa at 11:08 AM on December 8, 2005