Non-heternormative financial planning
August 23, 2015 3:26 PM Subscribe
Can you refer me to blogs, books, or other information on planning one's personal finances for the mid- to long-term that does not assume the traditional route of marriage, children, and supporting a family?
I'm 30 years old, looking for some advice on how I should be balancing personal finances to save for the next 10+ years and beyond. I talked to a financial advisor at a large firm recently who seemingly had nothing to offer me if I wasn't planning to hit all the major heteronormative milestones – wedding, home buying, raising kids, and all the associated costs. They more or less told me, in so many words, "you shouldn't use our services, we aren't a good deal for you at your age if you're not planning to start a family." I also got the sense that they weren't going to take me very seriously as a customer. I get that they're just screening new prospective clients to see if they need to be saving for college or a downpayment on a house or some other big future expense which they can then offer to help with, but I found the overall experience alienating, and I'd like to find some financial advice that will take "I'm not going to have kids" seriously and have something substantive and positive to offer.
Surely there are other people in a similar boat who want to plan for the long term and want some guidance. Are there any good resources for this online? Could you recommend a book geared toward people planning to live without children? Are there any firms that specifically want to work with people who aren't set on the typical heteronormative life plan (for example, maybe some that are more LGBT-friendly), who might be more receptive to people who deviate from the traditional family structure?
I'm 30 years old, looking for some advice on how I should be balancing personal finances to save for the next 10+ years and beyond. I talked to a financial advisor at a large firm recently who seemingly had nothing to offer me if I wasn't planning to hit all the major heteronormative milestones – wedding, home buying, raising kids, and all the associated costs. They more or less told me, in so many words, "you shouldn't use our services, we aren't a good deal for you at your age if you're not planning to start a family." I also got the sense that they weren't going to take me very seriously as a customer. I get that they're just screening new prospective clients to see if they need to be saving for college or a downpayment on a house or some other big future expense which they can then offer to help with, but I found the overall experience alienating, and I'd like to find some financial advice that will take "I'm not going to have kids" seriously and have something substantive and positive to offer.
Surely there are other people in a similar boat who want to plan for the long term and want some guidance. Are there any good resources for this online? Could you recommend a book geared toward people planning to live without children? Are there any firms that specifically want to work with people who aren't set on the typical heteronormative life plan (for example, maybe some that are more LGBT-friendly), who might be more receptive to people who deviate from the traditional family structure?
weird. i think maybe you just didn't fit the scripts they use to sell you stuff (they probably have a spreadsheet where they enter the number of kids etc and use it to scare people with the price of college education).
in practice, i don't think it matters much what your life is like at that level of detail (i've no kids for example) - you basically just want to be saving as soon as possible (because you earn interest on the interest, so the sooner you start, the better), and making as much use as possible of tax breaks (in the uk and chile that means you don't pay income tax on money that goes into pension funds, but the trade-off is that you can't touch the money until you retire - pretty sure you'll have something similar).
the book i always see mentioned is "rich dad poor dad". while i the title sounds nothing like what you want, i am, again, pretty sure the advice is basically the same. maybe you (/i/we) will spend less on kids, but the flip side is they won't be there to care for you later, so you need more for retirement care...
posted by andrewcooke at 4:45 PM on August 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
in practice, i don't think it matters much what your life is like at that level of detail (i've no kids for example) - you basically just want to be saving as soon as possible (because you earn interest on the interest, so the sooner you start, the better), and making as much use as possible of tax breaks (in the uk and chile that means you don't pay income tax on money that goes into pension funds, but the trade-off is that you can't touch the money until you retire - pretty sure you'll have something similar).
the book i always see mentioned is "rich dad poor dad". while i the title sounds nothing like what you want, i am, again, pretty sure the advice is basically the same. maybe you (/i/we) will spend less on kids, but the flip side is they won't be there to care for you later, so you need more for retirement care...
posted by andrewcooke at 4:45 PM on August 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: The Bogleheads' Guide to Investing isn't geared to non-heternormative financial planning exactly but the majority of stuff in there can pretty much apply to most people unless you make waaaaay more money than the average person, in which case congratulations. (Just skip Chapter Fourteen aka saving for college for kids.) Basically:
* Get out of any high interest debt as fast as you can
* Have a lifestyle that lets you save your money
* Have an emergency fund
* Max out all available tax preferred retirement investment vehicles
* Use index funds, not actively managed funds which usually underperform the market once the fees are factored in.
If you do those things, you are probably going to be better off in the long run than if you had a fancy financial adviser. It was a relief for me to read that book and realize that often less work is more when it comes to long term financial planning.
posted by foxfirefey at 5:14 PM on August 23, 2015 [25 favorites]
* Get out of any high interest debt as fast as you can
* Have a lifestyle that lets you save your money
* Have an emergency fund
* Max out all available tax preferred retirement investment vehicles
* Use index funds, not actively managed funds which usually underperform the market once the fees are factored in.
If you do those things, you are probably going to be better off in the long run than if you had a fancy financial adviser. It was a relief for me to read that book and realize that often less work is more when it comes to long term financial planning.
posted by foxfirefey at 5:14 PM on August 23, 2015 [25 favorites]
Everything foxfirefey says is detailed on the blog Mr. Money Mustache if you want more narrative details on those things.
posted by phunniemee at 6:49 PM on August 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 6:49 PM on August 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Best answer: >They more or less told me, in so many words, "you shouldn't use our services, we aren't a good deal for you at your age if you're not planning to start a family."
What they told you, IMHO, is you present few opportunities for them to make money off of you.
After a career in programming I retired at 54 using essentially the same advice in foxfirefey's post. I learned it in 1979 from a book still in print: The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need
posted by Homer42 at 1:29 AM on August 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
What they told you, IMHO, is you present few opportunities for them to make money off of you.
After a career in programming I retired at 54 using essentially the same advice in foxfirefey's post. I learned it in 1979 from a book still in print: The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need
posted by Homer42 at 1:29 AM on August 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
foxfirefey is exactly right; the Bogleheads are good folks. (Rich Dad Poor Dad on the other hand, is not basic "save early" advice, is not particularly correct or helpful, and can quickly slide into a scam.)
One thing that may help is to remember that money is the most fluid medium of exchange. Saving $X for a house or a kid's education in year Y is exactly the same as saving $X for any other purpose in year Y. (The only specific aspect of financial planning that is heavily relationship/kids dependent is estate planning and insurance, and I'm sure it's even more in flux in LGBT circles.)
If you don't even have those goals, that's fine too. I'm certainly not on the marriage/house/kids/death treadmill myself, and I always just asked myself, "would Future Self probably be happier if they had a bunch of money in the bank?" I first started asking that 15 years ago, and turns out the answer is yes. It's pretty nice to have enough money to buy a condo in cash if I wanted, not that that's stopping me from renting.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:59 AM on August 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
One thing that may help is to remember that money is the most fluid medium of exchange. Saving $X for a house or a kid's education in year Y is exactly the same as saving $X for any other purpose in year Y. (The only specific aspect of financial planning that is heavily relationship/kids dependent is estate planning and insurance, and I'm sure it's even more in flux in LGBT circles.)
If you don't even have those goals, that's fine too. I'm certainly not on the marriage/house/kids/death treadmill myself, and I always just asked myself, "would Future Self probably be happier if they had a bunch of money in the bank?" I first started asking that 15 years ago, and turns out the answer is yes. It's pretty nice to have enough money to buy a condo in cash if I wanted, not that that's stopping me from renting.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:59 AM on August 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
ah, sorry on the rich dad poor dad thing then. fwiw i agree with the general advice here.
posted by andrewcooke at 11:18 AM on August 24, 2015
posted by andrewcooke at 11:18 AM on August 24, 2015
Just wanted to add--you should make a will. If you don't have traditional married/child relationships, the intestate stuff is even more annoying (including potential for conflict) and anything left behind might not go at all where you'd like it to.
Your non typical situation probably means your will can be super simple (unless you have a special needs relative you'd want to provide for, or something like that, which would require special planning), but you should have one! Also a health care proxy and a living will.
posted by Salamandrous at 3:26 PM on August 24, 2015
Your non typical situation probably means your will can be super simple (unless you have a special needs relative you'd want to provide for, or something like that, which would require special planning), but you should have one! Also a health care proxy and a living will.
posted by Salamandrous at 3:26 PM on August 24, 2015
I'm in much the same boat and I think that when you're going against the main house/kids trajectory, the biggest issue is simply planning out what you do want. So I suggest sitting down and listing out a 5-year plan, a 10-year plan, retirement, and everything in between. Do you want to retire early, for example? Own property? Save up a bunch of money and then just travel for a few years? Once you have a plan of your goals, I think it'd be much easier for financial planners to help you (though I agree with many folks above that you can largely do this yourself).
For long-term planning in general, I've found the Getyourshittogether.org checklist very helpful (for anyone).
posted by veery at 6:03 AM on August 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
For long-term planning in general, I've found the Getyourshittogether.org checklist very helpful (for anyone).
posted by veery at 6:03 AM on August 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
For what it's worth, although I follow a basic Mr. Money Mustache/Boglehead kind of path myself and don't bother with a financial advisor, I do have unmarried, childless, and LGBT friends who are very happy with their financial advisors. I think they're all with smaller local firms. If you do want a human person to look at your plan and say, "Yup, this is sane," or "You haven't considered the tax implications of X," you should be able to find a fee-only advisor who can do that for you. Assuming you do indeed have goals which require/involve having money.
posted by mskyle at 6:20 AM on August 25, 2015
posted by mskyle at 6:20 AM on August 25, 2015
In addition to Bogle's book, be sure to look in on bogleheads.org, which is dedicated to his investing principles. There are some scary-smart people there willing to share their expertise, and they have a comprehensive wiki that is a valuable (and free) resource.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 9:44 AM on August 25, 2015
posted by Short Attention Sp at 9:44 AM on August 25, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by lunastellasol at 4:41 PM on August 23, 2015 [1 favorite]