What can I expect from my first visit to a mental health support group?

July 25, 2015 2:00 PM

My therapist has suggested I try out visiting a local bipolar support group, and I'm curious, but I'm also very nervous. There's a meting this Monday and I'm considering going, but I can't decide. I suspect that knowing what kinds of things I might be able to expect would help with anxiety around the unknown.

She thinks it might be helpful to be able to talk to people about stuff related to bipolar without having to jump the intial "so btw I have bipolar" hurdle that exists when talking about it in more general contexts. I've always been curious about groups, but I also have a lot of unhelpful preconceptions, some drawn from experiences reading mental health support forums online and thinking "ugh, this is not for me." I'm very emotionally reserved, and it takes me a long time to warm up to new people.

Additionally, I sometimes find interacting with other people with mood disorders who are symptomatic kinda triggering - my dad's cousin was at least somewhat manic at a family funeral recently (pressured speech, more stuff to say than he had time to recount over a period of two or three hours at the wake, etc.), and I found it distressing to be around him.

The other complicating factor is timing and location. The meeting is at 7.30pm on Monday in the city where I work, about 40mins drive from where I live. At 4.00pm I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in a town that's 10mins from where I live in the opposite direction to the work/meeting city. I tend to be able to handle one thing per evening, and I don't know how much I'm going to feel like driving basically to work and back in the evening either. Annoyingly, there's a support group in the town near where I live too, run by the same charity, but it meets at 2.30pm on a weekeday, which is useless for me (and I kinda resent the implication that people with bipolar disorder aren't likely to be at work anyway). These are open groups that anyone can attend, not group therapy groups.

So my pros are:

I'm curious
It might be helpful
My therapist thinks it might be a good idea

And my cons/anxieties are:

I really dislike meeting strangers, and take a long time to thaw in new company
People might try to talk to me or get me to talk when I don't want to
I don't want to have to drive back to the city where I work and home again in the evening
I might be tired after seeing my psychiatrist
I might get triggered by other people's experiences or symptoms

I realise I could wait until next month's meeting, but I also feel that if I don't go to this one, it'll be much easier to not go to the next one too, and I'll never go. I also realise I'm plating a ton of beans on this one, and could use some idea of what to expect. Have you been to something similar? What's it like?

Thanks!

posted by terretu to Health & Fitness (3 answers total)

Groups can be pretty different, but I will happily tell you a bit about the two I've had experiences with.

Group A: Specific to people with bipolar and family members of people with bipolar. Has a core group of people there almost every time, and a shifting cast of new people and people who come occasionally. Usually there are few new people every week, so it's never as if a single new person is going to be the center of attention. Typically the group begins with the facilitator reminding everyone of some ground rules that the group generally follows (being respectful of the person talking, keeping information in the group confidential, that sort of thing), and then everyone goes around the room and, if they wish, spends a few minutes talking about what's going on in their lives, any particular challenges they're facing or good things that have happened for them, medications they're trying or books they're finding interesting or an interaction they had during the week that's on their mind, or whatever. No one has to talk, even to introduce yourself - it's totally fine to just say "I'll pass" if you want to just take in what other people have to say.

Group B: A mixed group with both bipolar and unipolar people, much larger. Operates similarly but because the group is so big, it's rare for anyone to get much time to talk, and sometimes the group has to split into two or three subgroups to give everyone a chance to talk. That group sometimes has guest speakers - someone from a local bipolar research group or medical practice, a social worker, someone with expertise on navigating SSDI issues, a variety of things.

Neither my partner (bipolar) nor I (unipolar plus anxiety) found Group B to be a good fit, but we both found Group A to be really helpful. These days I don't go with him - it seems more useful for him to have that as an outlet to talk about whatever he needs to without having to worry about how I'll react to whatever's going on with him. But he considers that regular contact with other people with bipolar to be one of the most helpful parts of his treatment plan, and takes it extremely seriously. He says there's a lot of shared language and context that it's incredibly freeing to just have understood, not to have to start out from scratch explaining things to someone outside of Bipolar Planet.

All of which is to say there are some commonalities - probably there will be some ground rules, some friendly intro stuff, and then people will take turns talking. No one should pressure you to talk if you don't want to. But the tone of the group may change depending on who's in it, and you may find it's not for you. Probably just making the effort to check it out would be ultimately a good thing for you, though. If only to not have it hanging around in the back of your head as something you wish you'd tried but could not bring yourself to do.
posted by Stacey at 2:31 PM on July 25, 2015

I'm don't have bipolar disorder, but my mother does - and disclosing this led to years of being misdiagnosed. Accordingly, you can take my account with as many grains of salt as you like:

I was advised to attend a bipolar support group affiliated with a local hospital and university, and I felt that it was too triggering and not very helpful for me. It could have been the way this specific group was run, and it highly likely related to my not being much of "joiner" and my social anxiety, even though there was no requirement that I actually share. Still, I hated it and quit after two meetings.

Also -- frankly, I find a psych appt and a therapy appt in the same day to be a kinda draggy day, so I would probably not try out group therapy on such a day as you described.
posted by sm1tten at 11:25 PM on July 25, 2015

My city has about 70 different locations that have meetings each week of the local chapter of the Depression/Bipolar Support Alliance. They're all over the city, with several different time slots. If you end up doing shift work, as I did, you'll be happy that there's an earlier alternative.

The groups themselves usually have anywhere from 6-20 people, with 1-4 facilitators depending on usual size. They typically break into smaller sections, to be able to give everyone a chance to share.

The DBSA has done several long-range surveys of attendees. The groups as a whole seem to help people, on the average, and the more you attend, generally the better off your results (more here= maybe 1x a week, just try out a few groups). Because the facilitators and the attendees fluctuate from week to week, some weeks it's weird awful stories, some weeks it's people making progress. Usually a wide range of people along the Kicking My Disease's Ass/Getting My Ass Kicked spectrum.

I find it really comforting because I can be more honest about how I'm feeling. Most of my family is pretty firm believers in gaslighting me if I discuss certain possibilities, and I've never met anyone who was able to be 100% honest with their employers. Some of the people, I'll warn you, are going to irritate you.

If you have family or friends, they're welcome at DBSA meetings. This was a lot of help when I was originally having depressive episodes and my wife-at-the-time couldn't handle it. Later, when she developed pre-natal depression, the group was already familiar with us and it was a huge relief to not have to explain spoon theory from scratch.

YMMV, and good luck.
posted by cherttx at 11:52 PM on August 21, 2015