help me with a clever slogan for these pregnancy tests!
July 12, 2015 10:09 PM   Subscribe

I am a licensed midwife who will have an opportunity to market my practice at a table at a community event. I ordered whole bunch of individually packaged hcg pregnancy tests. I am going to put a sticker on each one with my website/phone number & maybe something else clever? Any ideas? Also, any other clever marketing ideas for a midwifery practice welcome.
posted by anonymous to Writing & Language (14 answers total)
"Positively your second call:" followed by your phone number.
posted by Iris Gambol at 10:28 PM on July 12, 2015 [9 favorites]

Your name doesn't rhyme with say, lines, or positive or anything like that? "Second line? Call Sheryl Devine."
posted by salvia at 10:37 PM on July 12, 2015

Do you have a selling point? Are you all practical and best practices with hospitals, or are you offering an emotional support and helping women get through pregnancy with lots of comfort and self direction etc? For the first, you could do crisp white and blue packs with info on prenatal vitamins and your info on a "the first month: what to do" flier, for the second, you might do a soft focus pregnancy photo thing with a sweet quote about pregnancy and a "this is the start of an amazing journey. I can help you find the path that works for you and your baby, blah blah".

You need to think about what message people take away, not just a slogan but what kind of a midwife practice you're offering
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 10:55 PM on July 12, 2015 [8 favorites]

I would go away from jokes - not every pregnancy is a wanted one, as I'm sure you well know. Honestly just contact information and "For better or worse, I'm here to help" might be a good call.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 11:18 PM on July 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

Dear god, do NOT put "For better or worse I'm here to help." It automatically brings forth the idea that something will go wrong with the baby, the labour, the mother or all three and makes me automatically connect bad things with you.

Sure, not every pregnancy is wanted but can we at least assume that if you're going to a midwife, you're keeping it and at that point people are thinking babies to keep and take home - not pregnancies to abort, in which case you'll never hear from them anyway. Given that the question has been answered at that point, happy positive thoughts only. If I was dealing with a midwife who in any way indicated my baby was not wanted, and might be the 'worse' in better or worse, I would run a mile.

Some riff on the word positive is good. Positively the best a mother can get, positively your best support around, positively your baby's best start in life, that kind of thing. (Background; mother of two, one emergency c section, one planned c section, lots of midwife experience and writes slogans for a living - though not your slogan ;)
posted by Jubey at 2:29 AM on July 13, 2015 [13 favorites]

Your BFF after your BFP.

This may only work if the women are familiar with fertility board acronyms.

2nding NOT putting anything negative on the slogan.
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 2:40 AM on July 13, 2015 [2 favorites]

No negative slogans.

I have three thoughts:

1/ Put the tests in dime bags with a business card or custom sticker the front. You need to provide your name, practice name if you have one, phone and website address.

2/ Look at some images of tables at fairs. They do not have to be fancy but the tables that do not look forlorn and uninviting use their vertical space. Maybe get three or five helium filled balloons for one corner of your table. And maybe wrap an empty box in wrapping paper and put a bassinet on top, filled with bottled water for people to take. You can get a case of bottled water for les than $10. And if you want to get fancy, I have previously re-labelled water bottles with custom labels from here and been very happy with them.

3/ I would for sure run an "Enter to win" contest with a clipboard sign-up sheet so you can collect names and email addresses you follow up with using something like Mail Chimp. You could do a draw to win a free book -- Ina May, Penny Simkin, Happiest Baby on the Block, whatever fits with your ethos. But in general, handing out 100 cards and hoping a single person will call you after is going to have an exceedingly low success rate. You need a mechanism for following up with people after the event, and doing so over the long haul as you will be meeting who are only planning or just trying now. You need to stay in front of these people for the next 12 months.

Sorry: I love midwifery, and I love setting up clients to be show vendors, so this is like my Happy Question!
posted by DarlingBri at 3:10 AM on July 13, 2015 [15 favorites]

And for a slogan, I would again focus on something that encapsulates the ethos of your practice:

Jane Doe
Positive Midwifery

Or... Ethical Midwifery, or Nurturing Midwifery, or Progressive Midwifery, or Joyous Midwifery or whatever.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:20 AM on July 13, 2015 [3 favorites]

Positive? :)
Call the Midwife!
posted by tomboko at 5:47 AM on July 13, 2015 [7 favorites]

Echoing what DarlingBri has said above (I have run handmade/indie shows for 10 years+ and I know from table setup!) but I would add that you may want to do something that will encourage people to pass along your info to their pregnant or soon to be pregnant friends. What about an ongoing once a month referral contest where both referrer and referee get rewarded? Do you know a massage therapist who specializes in prenatal, for example? Set up your mailing list (Mailchimp's forms are great for this) so new people can tell you who referred them. Do a drawing once a month for a massage visit (prenatal for the one, 30 min massage of their choice for referrer) or a pedicure or something else that's treat-like and special. You'll find over time that there are some "super referrers" who will send you a lot of business even if they don't use you themselves. On that front, too, if possible team up with relevant other professionals (aforementioned massage therapist, fertility specialists, acupuncturists who specialize in fertility, etc etc) to do less frequent "big" promos to generate business. Maybe the massage therapist would let you give away 25% coupons to new clients, etc etc etc. but for this to work, build that mailing list! Good luck!
posted by at 6:17 AM on July 13, 2015

I really like "Positively your second call:"

I'm hoping, as a mother, that these will not be laid out on the table in some cute way that will have to be explained to every kid who thinks it's a type of candy. Lack of discretion would turn me off from a business such as yours.
posted by myselfasme at 6:25 AM on July 13, 2015

I don't get "Positively your second call." Why not first call? Who else would the first call be to?
posted by coppermoss at 8:46 AM on July 13, 2015

I don't get "Positively your second call." Why not first call? Who else would the first call be to?

Um, presumably the father of the child?

Casting a second vote for "Positive? :) Call the Midwife!" It's cute and punchy (even if they don't watch the show).
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:54 AM on July 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

I like DarlingBri's ideas for setting up your display. Nothing looks sadder than just a table with a table cloth and a bunch of pens or, in your case, pregnancy tests, and candy scattered around. The vertical is key--you want people looking up at you, so you can engage, encourage them to enter a contest, explain your practice/philosophy, and so you can hand them the test. (People tend to scoop up anything that looks free at these things, whether they need it or not!) If you plan to do more of these, a retractable table top banner with your logo and info helps with the vertical design. Have you thought of magnetized business cards--I do keep these if I think I will need the service at some point. And, for on-going marketing, there is a car in our office parking lot with the license plate MIDWIFE--she works at the family medical clinic in the building.
posted by Nosey Mrs. Rat at 7:32 AM on July 16, 2015

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