Do I split the referral bonus with my roommate?
July 8, 2015 10:01 PM Subscribe
I recommended a friend to our apartment complex, which earns me a $200 referral bonus. My roommate has never met this friend, nor did she know I had recommended the place to her. My roommate seems to expect half of the bonus. Do I split it? If not, how do I bring it up?
I was in the leasing office with my roommate renewing our lease when the leasing office employee mentioned that we would be receiving a referral bonus of $200 because I had recommended the complex to a friend who is now getting ready to sign a lease. The leasing office employee said something along the lines of "you guys can split it or however you want to deal with it." When she left to go make copies of the lease, my roommate turned to me and said "should we split it right down the middle?" In my head, my immediate reaction was "why? You don't even know the friend I referred." Feeling put on the spot, I deflected by saying "yeah, I wanna ask if this is a check or if it's applied to the rent," but I think it came across as me agreeing with her. I did say "yeah" but I use "yeah" like "um" sometimes. I feel bad because I know she could use the money. I am in a more financially stable situation than her right now, but I don't know if that changes the answer. I could also use the money, obviously. Also if it makes a difference, neither of us knew a referral bonus was a thing here until the leasing office employee mentioned it.
So...
1) Is there a reason I'm not considering that my roommate has a right to this money?
2) If it is not necessary to split it, how do I bring this up, especially given she might think I already agreed?
I was in the leasing office with my roommate renewing our lease when the leasing office employee mentioned that we would be receiving a referral bonus of $200 because I had recommended the complex to a friend who is now getting ready to sign a lease. The leasing office employee said something along the lines of "you guys can split it or however you want to deal with it." When she left to go make copies of the lease, my roommate turned to me and said "should we split it right down the middle?" In my head, my immediate reaction was "why? You don't even know the friend I referred." Feeling put on the spot, I deflected by saying "yeah, I wanna ask if this is a check or if it's applied to the rent," but I think it came across as me agreeing with her. I did say "yeah" but I use "yeah" like "um" sometimes. I feel bad because I know she could use the money. I am in a more financially stable situation than her right now, but I don't know if that changes the answer. I could also use the money, obviously. Also if it makes a difference, neither of us knew a referral bonus was a thing here until the leasing office employee mentioned it.
So...
1) Is there a reason I'm not considering that my roommate has a right to this money?
2) If it is not necessary to split it, how do I bring this up, especially given she might think I already agreed?
I think it's worth $100 to not piss off the person who lives in the same space you do. If you can't get it applied to the rent, then pay up. Not, it's not fair but if you hemmed and hawed the first time she brought it up, I think it makes you look cheap to start grousing about the referral, etc. now.
posted by Ideefixe at 10:16 PM on July 8, 2015 [17 favorites]
posted by Ideefixe at 10:16 PM on July 8, 2015 [17 favorites]
Until you opened your mouth and agreed with her, I would have said that your room mate had no right at all to expect 1/2 the referral fee. Now that you went along with it, you could either back pedal (with something like Hermione Granger said) or let it stand.
Reasons to let her get half
- you want to make the world a kinder and more generous place by sharing with someone who could really use a break
- it is not worth a confrontation with a person who shares your living space
- you weren't expecting anything so you are still $100 ahead
- it is $100 lesson in not saying "yeah" when you don't mean it
- you don't want to go back on your word, even if you didn't really mean it
Reasons to stand up for your right to the entire bonus
- it is an extra $100 for you, which would be nice to have
- it is good practice to speak up for your rights (even late)
posted by metahawk at 10:27 PM on July 8, 2015 [22 favorites]
Reasons to let her get half
- you want to make the world a kinder and more generous place by sharing with someone who could really use a break
- it is not worth a confrontation with a person who shares your living space
- you weren't expecting anything so you are still $100 ahead
- it is $100 lesson in not saying "yeah" when you don't mean it
- you don't want to go back on your word, even if you didn't really mean it
Reasons to stand up for your right to the entire bonus
- it is an extra $100 for you, which would be nice to have
- it is good practice to speak up for your rights (even late)
posted by metahawk at 10:27 PM on July 8, 2015 [22 favorites]
Ehhhhh, I think the fact that you didn't even know about this bonus makes a difference. It's not like you went out and did some work specifically to earn this bonus for you, in which case I'd be 180% on your side.
In this case, though, it just magically appeared out of nowhere. I don't think your roommate is totally crazy to see it as "hey, that thing you did accidentally got us (the household) a bonus or rent credit!" especially now that you've lent credibility to that interpretation by not objecting to it up front.
So you get a $100 bonus instead of 200. It's still more than you were expecting, right? I just don't see a way to claim the whole thing now without being a jerk.
posted by ctmf at 10:38 PM on July 8, 2015 [8 favorites]
In this case, though, it just magically appeared out of nowhere. I don't think your roommate is totally crazy to see it as "hey, that thing you did accidentally got us (the household) a bonus or rent credit!" especially now that you've lent credibility to that interpretation by not objecting to it up front.
So you get a $100 bonus instead of 200. It's still more than you were expecting, right? I just don't see a way to claim the whole thing now without being a jerk.
posted by ctmf at 10:38 PM on July 8, 2015 [8 favorites]
Can you suggest it all just goes toward paying your rent instead of splitting it? I feel like that's the perfect place for it.
posted by moons in june at 11:07 PM on July 8, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by moons in june at 11:07 PM on July 8, 2015 [5 favorites]
The only reason to give your roomie any of it is if you feel like making a charitable contribution to that roommate with found money. You made the referral, you deserve as much of it including all of it you desire.
If it were me, I would be more inclined to split the referral fee with the person I actually referred and helped you get it than with a roommate who happened to ask for part of it.
posted by AugustWest at 11:21 PM on July 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
If it were me, I would be more inclined to split the referral fee with the person I actually referred and helped you get it than with a roommate who happened to ask for part of it.
posted by AugustWest at 11:21 PM on July 8, 2015 [4 favorites]
Hey, I was thinking. Jane is my friend and I was the one who referred her. If you want to split the referral fee then what we need is for you to think of who you could refer, and then we'll both have $200. So, who do you know that you could refer?
posted by willnot at 11:35 PM on July 8, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by willnot at 11:35 PM on July 8, 2015 [8 favorites]
I was all on your side until you mentioned she really needs the money.
Share this unexpected windfall with an open heart and no strings. It will come back to you in spades :))
(Also, can totally see how she misunderstood. I think stress over money and not malice drove her reaction.)
posted by jbenben at 11:53 PM on July 8, 2015 [12 favorites]
Share this unexpected windfall with an open heart and no strings. It will come back to you in spades :))
(Also, can totally see how she misunderstood. I think stress over money and not malice drove her reaction.)
posted by jbenben at 11:53 PM on July 8, 2015 [12 favorites]
Now tell her it's her turn to earn you each another $100 bonus.
posted by ctmf at 12:08 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by ctmf at 12:08 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Nah. It's not hers. She's being a grasping person. "Uhhh... well it was kind of an awkward moment. You didn't refer this person, I did." and then, to ameliorate any issues, "I'm going to keep $50 for fun money, and throw the rest at our rent equally, ok?"
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:17 AM on July 9, 2015
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:17 AM on July 9, 2015
(I'd also be totally on board with Hermione's suggestion which is that not a penny of this belongs to your roommate because she is expecting money out of nowhere for something she had no hand in at all)
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:18 AM on July 9, 2015
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:18 AM on July 9, 2015
So the friend you referred hasn't yet signed a lease, and you said to your roommate: "yeah, I wanna ask if this is a check or if it's applied to the rent" --right?
Do that. Call the leasing office and ask when the bonus kicks in (you need to do this anyway). Assuming you and your roommate pay separately, and if it's a discount on rent, tell them your roommate will be paying the usual amount, and your payment will reflect the referral bonus.
Tell your roommate that you checked on it, and the bonus is for the person who made the referral. Offer to spread the cheer by buying dinner or covering [usually shared but nominal expense] that month.
I'm all for generosity and would probably vote for splitting the bonus if your roommate hadn't behaved as though she were entitled. I think there's a flaw in the notion that giving her this maintains a peaceful household; instead I think it sets a standard of letting her take advantage of you.
posted by whoiam at 12:19 AM on July 9, 2015 [13 favorites]
Do that. Call the leasing office and ask when the bonus kicks in (you need to do this anyway). Assuming you and your roommate pay separately, and if it's a discount on rent, tell them your roommate will be paying the usual amount, and your payment will reflect the referral bonus.
Tell your roommate that you checked on it, and the bonus is for the person who made the referral. Offer to spread the cheer by buying dinner or covering [usually shared but nominal expense] that month.
I'm all for generosity and would probably vote for splitting the bonus if your roommate hadn't behaved as though she were entitled. I think there's a flaw in the notion that giving her this maintains a peaceful household; instead I think it sets a standard of letting her take advantage of you.
posted by whoiam at 12:19 AM on July 9, 2015 [13 favorites]
- [it's] a $100 lesson in not saying "yeah" when you don't mean it
- you don't want to go back on your word, even if you didn't really mean it
I agree with those reasons to split it. Next time, if you don't want to give someone your money, don't say "Yeah!" in response to their question about whether you're going to give them your money.
posted by John Cohen at 12:47 AM on July 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
- you don't want to go back on your word, even if you didn't really mean it
I agree with those reasons to split it. Next time, if you don't want to give someone your money, don't say "Yeah!" in response to their question about whether you're going to give them your money.
posted by John Cohen at 12:47 AM on July 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
You need to split this into two questions:
1. Does your roommate have any right to half the money?
No. The money belongs to the person who referred the new tenant. That person is 100% you. As for saying "yeah" when she asked you about splitting the money, when put in context, it doesn't sound like you agreed to split the money with her, but rather you meant "I hear you but I need to check into the details of the money before I decide anything." It's just like if she asked you for a ride on Friday and you said "Yeah let me check my schedule." Are you agreeing to give her a ride? Of course not.
If you don't want to give any of the money to her (see below) just don't mention it again. If she brings it up, say "I checked with the company and they said the referral fee belongs to the person who made the referral." Unless she's completely unreasonable, that should be the end of it.
2. Do you want to be a nice person and give her $100?
As others have mentioned, this is a windfall for you. You didn't expect it. Also, by assuming that you both were going to split the money, the leasing agent gave you a non-awkward opportunity to make a donation to her (as opposed to "you seem really hard on your luck, here's 100 bucks." If you want to take that opportunity, do it.
But you don't owe her any of the referral fee.
posted by banishedimmortal at 3:34 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
1. Does your roommate have any right to half the money?
No. The money belongs to the person who referred the new tenant. That person is 100% you. As for saying "yeah" when she asked you about splitting the money, when put in context, it doesn't sound like you agreed to split the money with her, but rather you meant "I hear you but I need to check into the details of the money before I decide anything." It's just like if she asked you for a ride on Friday and you said "Yeah let me check my schedule." Are you agreeing to give her a ride? Of course not.
If you don't want to give any of the money to her (see below) just don't mention it again. If she brings it up, say "I checked with the company and they said the referral fee belongs to the person who made the referral." Unless she's completely unreasonable, that should be the end of it.
2. Do you want to be a nice person and give her $100?
As others have mentioned, this is a windfall for you. You didn't expect it. Also, by assuming that you both were going to split the money, the leasing agent gave you a non-awkward opportunity to make a donation to her (as opposed to "you seem really hard on your luck, here's 100 bucks." If you want to take that opportunity, do it.
But you don't owe her any of the referral fee.
posted by banishedimmortal at 3:34 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I don't think your roommate has a right to the money, strictly speaking, but I think it would be a jerk move not to split it in this situation. And it would start your renewed lease term on a sour note - and it's really hard to turn around a roommate relationship once it starts to go bad.
A $100 rent credit for you is still a nice surprise. And the bonus is more of a happy stroke of luck than anything else. Referring a friend (who decides to rent independently of anything you can do) is not the same as, say, fixing the dishwasher; you didn't put in $200 worth of work.
Don't pretend to forget about it, though. That leads the way to things like bodily fluids in your shampoo.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:46 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
A $100 rent credit for you is still a nice surprise. And the bonus is more of a happy stroke of luck than anything else. Referring a friend (who decides to rent independently of anything you can do) is not the same as, say, fixing the dishwasher; you didn't put in $200 worth of work.
Don't pretend to forget about it, though. That leads the way to things like bodily fluids in your shampoo.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:46 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh my god this is not even remotely enough money to be worth the bad will backing out on it now will create. You'll just look like a petty tightwad if you do. On paper you are completely in the right, but you already said yea and are having second thoughts now.
This is exactly the kind of stupid shit that makes roommates hate eachother. I've seen people completely ruin friendships and roommate-ships over amounts of money this size.
I don't actually know if there's a point at which this hypothetically being more money would cross over into worth it, since the indignant factor would go up as well.
Less free money is still free money, and then you're both happy because you got free money you weren't expecting.
I really like the suggestion that they should go find someone to refer as well, too.
I would be annoyed at this. And in the past i would have stood my ground and kept it for the reasons several others lay out above. But having gone down that route in various roommate situations i'd just hand it over instantly and pretend that other half of the money never existed to myself after i did. It's just not worth it.
posted by emptythought at 3:58 AM on July 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
This is exactly the kind of stupid shit that makes roommates hate eachother. I've seen people completely ruin friendships and roommate-ships over amounts of money this size.
I don't actually know if there's a point at which this hypothetically being more money would cross over into worth it, since the indignant factor would go up as well.
Less free money is still free money, and then you're both happy because you got free money you weren't expecting.
I really like the suggestion that they should go find someone to refer as well, too.
I would be annoyed at this. And in the past i would have stood my ground and kept it for the reasons several others lay out above. But having gone down that route in various roommate situations i'd just hand it over instantly and pretend that other half of the money never existed to myself after i did. It's just not worth it.
posted by emptythought at 3:58 AM on July 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
I have a hard and fast rule about these kinds of situations: the money is a reward for you, your roommate doesn't deserve a penny of it. And so, what you should do, without question, is apply the $200 equally to the rent for you and your roommate. Because, I mean, fuck it: you didn't expect the money. Also, "referring a friend" is not like "digging a ditch in the hot Texas sun for minumum wage". If anything, try thinking of it as not a $200 windfall, but a lucky "happy roommates lease bonus".
Go to the rental office and have them apply the bonus to your rent and your roommate's rent - the theory being that your ability to decide how the money should be spent, and taking charge of that, should ablate any residual angst you might have over the situation. And when you tell your roommate about it, you'll be sending the messages a) the money was, in fact, for you alone, but b) you're being a real sport paying down the rent for both of you.
If your roommate seems less than excited (ie, she was expecting cash-in-hand), you can perhaps gently remind her that the money was for your referral and that you graciously decided to apply it to the benefit of both of you.
Extra points if your roommate buys you lunch or something to say thank you. If she's really hard up financially, this might not happen.
In case it's not obvious, the point here is not to get you the full $200. The point if this script is to allow you to split the money in a manner such that you own it and you are in control (and therefore will feel good about the split) versus simply feeling pushed into the split because you were caught unawares.
posted by doctor tough love at 5:28 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Go to the rental office and have them apply the bonus to your rent and your roommate's rent - the theory being that your ability to decide how the money should be spent, and taking charge of that, should ablate any residual angst you might have over the situation. And when you tell your roommate about it, you'll be sending the messages a) the money was, in fact, for you alone, but b) you're being a real sport paying down the rent for both of you.
If your roommate seems less than excited (ie, she was expecting cash-in-hand), you can perhaps gently remind her that the money was for your referral and that you graciously decided to apply it to the benefit of both of you.
Extra points if your roommate buys you lunch or something to say thank you. If she's really hard up financially, this might not happen.
In case it's not obvious, the point here is not to get you the full $200. The point if this script is to allow you to split the money in a manner such that you own it and you are in control (and therefore will feel good about the split) versus simply feeling pushed into the split because you were caught unawares.
posted by doctor tough love at 5:28 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
You are in the right in thinking that it is just for you and you should keep it. But, it is found money, nothing that you were counting on, which gives you the chance to be a really great person. Ask the office to apply $150 of it to your next month's rent, splitting it with your roommate, and then use the last $50 to buy treats for your friend to welcome her to her new home. Being right doesn't feel nearly as good as being loved.
posted by myselfasme at 5:44 AM on July 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by myselfasme at 5:44 AM on July 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm completely confused as to why your roommate would think that they would get half or any of the referral bonus. It is completely inappropriate for them to ask for it. You referred someone, and are getting money from that. Do whatever you want with it.
posted by Lay Off The Books at 8:31 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Lay Off The Books at 8:31 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
If she brings it up, say "I checked with the company and they said the referral fee belongs to the person who made the referral."
Except the roommate was standing right there when the management person said they could split it however they want. She could easily check, and she'd at least suspect you were fudging. Be honest instead if you decide not to give her any.
I vote for splitting it even though roommate didn't earn it and was acting entitled. The time to say no was when it first came up, but you said "Yeah" instead.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 8:36 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Except the roommate was standing right there when the management person said they could split it however they want. She could easily check, and she'd at least suspect you were fudging. Be honest instead if you decide not to give her any.
I vote for splitting it even though roommate didn't earn it and was acting entitled. The time to say no was when it first came up, but you said "Yeah" instead.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 8:36 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
I agree with those who say you should split the cash; even though it's technically yours, at the end of the day it's free money and 'only' getting half of it is still a lot better than earning the acrimony of your housemate, even if it's 'unjustified'.
I really like myselfasme's suggestion for what to do with it. The warm fuzzies and the strengthened relationship with the housemate from that would be worth more than $100 to me, even (especially?) if I was in a situation where money was tight.
posted by Drexen at 9:37 AM on July 9, 2015
I really like myselfasme's suggestion for what to do with it. The warm fuzzies and the strengthened relationship with the housemate from that would be worth more than $100 to me, even (especially?) if I was in a situation where money was tight.
posted by Drexen at 9:37 AM on July 9, 2015
This really is a no-win situation. Your roommate is being a dick. In no universe is she entitled to half the cash you get for referring a customer to your apartment management company, even if she was there when this awkward exchange happened. She knows it; you know it. Her failure to say "I don't know why that lady thought I should have part of your bonus! I need to find a friend to get move in!" is wrong and also greedy, even if you were both taken by surprise to learn there was a bonus.
So, you can either engender ill-will by not giving her money she has no right to expect or you can let her engender ill-will by accepting half your bonus. Either way, one of you thinks the other one is a dick. It's up to you to decide if you'd rather think your roommate treated you badly or whether you'd rather have your roommate think you treated her badly. I honestly don't know which I'd choose.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:15 AM on July 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
So, you can either engender ill-will by not giving her money she has no right to expect or you can let her engender ill-will by accepting half your bonus. Either way, one of you thinks the other one is a dick. It's up to you to decide if you'd rather think your roommate treated you badly or whether you'd rather have your roommate think you treated her badly. I honestly don't know which I'd choose.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:15 AM on July 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
I would be annoyed with the rental company giving away your money like this, though possibly they have no idea who the person is who did a referral, only what unit the referral came from. But from the retelling of it I can understand why someone - particularly someone feeling a little anxious about their financial situation - would think it applied to them.
Money is fungible but you are getting this from an institution you give a much larger amount of money to each year. So for all intents and purposes this is a discount on your rent.
If the leasing office had told you that some local government taxation restructuring meant that next month's rent would be reduced, one time, by $100, would you tell your roommate and split the discount? Or would you simply reduce your check by $100 and never say another word?
That's basically what's happening here. While it was your action that netted this money, it's action that you clearly were willing to take regardless of the money. It's unquestionably yours by right. It's also an unexpected windfall against money both you and your roommate expend. Split the happy discovery with a generous heart and knowledge that there's no way $100 is worth disharmony at home.
Bring it up with the leasing agent if you must, so they don't put anyone else in this circumstance in the future. But unless there's a need for that $100 that you can say to your roommie "I need the money for X" that they'd understand, write it off.
posted by phearlez at 10:41 AM on July 9, 2015
Money is fungible but you are getting this from an institution you give a much larger amount of money to each year. So for all intents and purposes this is a discount on your rent.
If the leasing office had told you that some local government taxation restructuring meant that next month's rent would be reduced, one time, by $100, would you tell your roommate and split the discount? Or would you simply reduce your check by $100 and never say another word?
That's basically what's happening here. While it was your action that netted this money, it's action that you clearly were willing to take regardless of the money. It's unquestionably yours by right. It's also an unexpected windfall against money both you and your roommate expend. Split the happy discovery with a generous heart and knowledge that there's no way $100 is worth disharmony at home.
Bring it up with the leasing agent if you must, so they don't put anyone else in this circumstance in the future. But unless there's a need for that $100 that you can say to your roommie "I need the money for X" that they'd understand, write it off.
posted by phearlez at 10:41 AM on July 9, 2015
Technically, you can keep the money.
Whether you should share it with your roommate or not depends on couple of things:
1. What is your dynamic with your roommate? Are you happy with that person? Do you treat each other well? Has she been considerate with you in the past?
2. How great is her need and how much would $100 be of help to her? How about you? How important are the $200 for you?
Given that you would probably be staying with your roommate for a year and your trade off is between introducing a bad note in your relationship vs getting $100 less than what you would be getting, Unless the answers to above questions go against your roommate, I would suggest that you go ahead with splitting it.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 10:48 AM on July 9, 2015
Whether you should share it with your roommate or not depends on couple of things:
1. What is your dynamic with your roommate? Are you happy with that person? Do you treat each other well? Has she been considerate with you in the past?
2. How great is her need and how much would $100 be of help to her? How about you? How important are the $200 for you?
Given that you would probably be staying with your roommate for a year and your trade off is between introducing a bad note in your relationship vs getting $100 less than what you would be getting, Unless the answers to above questions go against your roommate, I would suggest that you go ahead with splitting it.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 10:48 AM on July 9, 2015
Share this unexpected windfall with an open heart and no strings. It will come back to you in spades :))
If you can afford it, then this is the best answer. One of the most enjoyable luxuries in life is to refuse to feel wronged.
posted by aws17576 at 11:13 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you can afford it, then this is the best answer. One of the most enjoyable luxuries in life is to refuse to feel wronged.
posted by aws17576 at 11:13 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Your roommate is not technically entitled to the reward, no.
On the other hand, it's a windfall. Split it. $100 off the rent for each of you next month. It's a little petty to get too high on your horse about how you earned it...uh, unknowingly.
Your leasing office is just looking at this as "unit 3B made referral and therefore 3B gets reward" and does not care a whit about whether it was you or your roommate as individuals. (They even made this verbally clear.)
posted by desuetude at 12:03 PM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
On the other hand, it's a windfall. Split it. $100 off the rent for each of you next month. It's a little petty to get too high on your horse about how you earned it...uh, unknowingly.
Your leasing office is just looking at this as "unit 3B made referral and therefore 3B gets reward" and does not care a whit about whether it was you or your roommate as individuals. (They even made this verbally clear.)
posted by desuetude at 12:03 PM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Maybe take some of that money and use it for a great meal, party, something for the apt.?
posted by theora55 at 1:21 PM on July 9, 2015
posted by theora55 at 1:21 PM on July 9, 2015
The person this should be split with is the friend who took the apartment and for whom you got the $200 referral reward.
posted by AugustWest at 2:55 PM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by AugustWest at 2:55 PM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
My initial impression was "what? no!" because of the reasons you listed. However, you said it yourself that you're in a better financial position, and the first word you did say after the question was "yeah."
Maybe I'm an extra nice guy, but I'd just split it. I personally think that dealing with a roommate being extra shitty over losing out on their share, even if it was a pretty dubious assumption for them to make, is not worth $100 in your pocket.
posted by tremspeed at 1:52 AM on July 11, 2015
Maybe I'm an extra nice guy, but I'd just split it. I personally think that dealing with a roommate being extra shitty over losing out on their share, even if it was a pretty dubious assumption for them to make, is not worth $100 in your pocket.
posted by tremspeed at 1:52 AM on July 11, 2015
« Older Where can I find organic GMO food? | Value and disposal of signed first edition books? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
And then if she balks, be like, "Hey, you know that referral didn't come from you, and they incorrectly attributed it to having come from both of us. I didn't correct them because I felt really put on the spot when you started asking how we'd split the cash, and wanted to wait to talk to you in private like we are now to clear things up."
If you can't tell, my response is "oh hell no" to all this. But if you don't want the hassle, just split the cash and be done with it. Or tell her you're frustrated she assumed automatically that the bonus was hers too even though she didn't make the referral and now you feel like you're going to be the bad guy if you say hey, that's really not okay. Then see what her true colors are. If she insists on the money, well, you know her motivations. If she backs down, good all around.
posted by Hermione Granger at 10:14 PM on July 8, 2015 [13 favorites]