fearful cat help

June 22, 2015 8:43 AM

Can you help me figure out how to care for our extremely fearful cat?

Hi cat people of MeFi!

Last November, my SO and I adopted two shelter cats. They were presented as a "bonded pair" and billed on the website and in conversaton as "strays." One cat adapted to our home easily and is clearly socialized to people. The other disappeared into the inside of the sofa for three weeks. When he finally began venturing out, he would not let us approach him or touch him in any way. It's been seven months now, and we still have not really touched him. His records actually him a "surrender," but his behavior is more that of a feral cat who is simply not at all socialized to people. He cowers and cringes when we approach and only calms down if we move very very slowly or sit quietly for a time.

We needed to take them to the vet for an introductory visit and check-up. I managed to corral the fearful cat and get him into a carrier, but he was terrified and thrashed violently inside. At the vet, they examined him basically still inside the character, as he was trembling in abject fear. They determined that he has a heart murmur and wanted him to come back for a follow-up visit and an EKG. I am dreading a follow-up visit as I don't want to put him through this again.

Meanwhile, back home, he developed a cauliflower ear, possibly because he has a continually itchy ear that he scratches a lot. But, to be honest, I don't really know the cause since I can't get close enough. It could be an infection, ear wax, etc.

I wouldn't mind if he just happened to be a cat that never wanted to be touch. He plays with us if we offer the laser toy, string "fishing" toy, and similar chasing games. He will spend time in the same room with us, and occasionally, very occasionally, sit on the bed while we're sleeping. He will sniff your fingers if you gently stretch out your hand. But that's about it, and I'm worried it's going to be a real problem to continue giving him veterinary care. To get him back into a carrier will mean another ambush and another massive terror episode for him that will likely set back whatever bond we've managed to build.

The vet suggested a pre-visit tranquilizer, but I'm not sure how this works. Does anyone have experience with that? Obviously I can't dose him directly, so it would likely have to be delivered via food. How does the time window work there?

Also, the EKG. I am skeptical - I've had three cats with heart murmurs in the past, and in the end, none were killed by heart disease. An EKG is super expensive, and I'm not sure what the range of ensuing treatments might be. Having spent untold thousands on cats in the past, I've decided I am no longer going to do stressful, rarely productive extreme measures for my pets - no heart surgeries and the like. In the grand scheme of things with this fearful creature, how important would you say the EKG is?

So, long post, but my questions are:
-what have you found successful, if anything, in 'parenting' a fearful cat?
-what is your experience with using tranquilizers for vet visits?
-how have you administered medicines and routine care (trimming nails, etc) to your fearful cat? Or do you just change your standards of care?

Thanks for any advice. We do love him, at a comfortable distance, but I'm really not feeling good about the choice between leaving him to cope with things like his ear problem or putting him through the clearly soul-destroying experience of going in the carrier and going to the vet!

posted by Miko to Pets & Animals (16 answers total)

-what have you found successful, if anything, in 'parenting' a fearful cat?

A Feliway diffuser.
posted by Too-Ticky at 8:49 AM on June 22, 2015 [5 favorites]

I have a cat that Does Not Go in a carrier. Because she's 14 and I'm sort of a sucker, I just have the vet make a house call. It's more expensive than an office visit, but it is not stressful for her. She gets lured into a small room with a door with some treats and then the vet arrives, sneaks into the same small room, and does everything kneeling on the floor next to her. That's what I would suggest for getting the ear checked out. I would absolutely, 100%, skip the EKG and if your vet gives you grief about it, find a new vet.
posted by kate blank at 8:59 AM on June 22, 2015 [5 favorites]

Seconding a house call. Some vets specialize in that! I just have to corral my cat into a bathroom and the vet and her assistant go in and examine him as quickly as possible. My cat is actually a lovebug to me, just very shy around other people and HATES the carrier, so it's worth the extra fee for the peace of mind of not having to try and shove him in it (plus if I don't get him on the first try, he gets on top of the cabinets where I can't reach him, and it's game over). The housecalls are way less stressful for both of us--and as soon as the exam is over, he can go hide under the bed.
posted by leesh at 9:24 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

Thirding a house call if you can possibly afford it. After my most recent vet trip with my (fearful but definitely not feral) kitty it's the only way we're going, from now on.

As far as day to day stuff, well, my scaredy cat definitely does not get her claws trimmed. There's no sense in both of us being subjected to THAT particular bloody horror on the reg when she's still young and healthy enough to use a scratching post with great frequency. When she becomes more elderly we may need to revisit that--luckily there are also at-home pro grooming services. We use feliway liberally whenever we move, or when we plan to substantially alter the house in any way.

Scaredy cat warmed to me after about a year and became a real snuggler, but I can still send her scurrying under the bed with a clumsy move or an inopportune sneeze.

I have not given her tranqs for vet visits, but have done so for moving days. It's moderately successful in that it seems to confuse her and make her dopey, which allows me to trick her into the carrier more easily. Otherwise she totally knows what's up and pre-empts all my efforts. But it doesn't really chill her out THAT much or for that long, and pilling is a real serious pain. (See previous: she totally knows what's up.)
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:34 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

I have a cat so skittish* I was about to post a question about it, and then I thought I'd try feliway - and now I no longer have a question to post. A house call is a great idea if you can afford it, but the diffuser will probably improve the cat's quality of life overall and I really think you should try it.

* It took me three weeks to catch him for a nail trim, and catching him was traumatic for both of us, so similar to your situation here.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 10:02 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

If it weren't for the ear, I'd postpone. I have a skittish feralish cat -- I got her in December 2013 -- and though she will sit near me and let me pat her on her own terms, I still can't get her near a carrier, and I don't try. Sometimes I can cut a few claws. Not often. But she's clearly a happy cat, and I'm hoping that before she gets old and sick, she will calm down even more.
posted by jeather at 10:04 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Nthing the house call vet and using a Feliway dispenser plug-in. It would probably be a good idea to get that ear looked at, and a house call vet would be less stressful for your scaredy-cat than a carrier and car trip.

For the day-to-day issues: Try using tempting feather or mouse on a wire cat toys for him to play with you; and offering him some turkey or chicken baby food (that does not contain garlic or onion, which are poisonous to cats), or some canned tuna, on a spoon. He will come to associate you with yummy treats and fun playtime. Naturally, you will want to give treats and play with your other cat, too - and seeing his brother play and socialize might help bring the scaredy-cat out of his shell.

For the claws: My cats like kitty condos with sisal rope on the supports, and they also love this cardboard scratcher lounge - which actually looks nice enough to blend in with one's decor instead of like a cat scratcher! Molly and Friends make good kitty condos and trees, so does Drs. Foster and Smith.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 10:21 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

I had a cat who was far less skittish than yours but who really hated the carrier with such a passion that today I bear the scar from putting her in her carrier to be altered in 1997. Forever after that, I used Vet On Wheels. She probably could have lived a bit longer with regular checkups at a vet with real recordkeeping, etc., but I felt that the quality of her life (and my flesh) would have been so compromised by the trauma of the carrier that it was worth the tradeoff. Today, I would probably try to find a real vet who made house calls.
posted by janey47 at 11:10 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Our scaredy cat loooves Pill Pockets, and we've gotten tranqs from the vet and tucked half of one into a Pill Pocket an hour or so before stuffing him in a carrier.

It didn't make any visible change, but at the vet his heart rate was significantly lower than it had been the previous visit, sans tranq, so it went a long way to reassuring me that he wasn't going to die of a heart attack.

(Also, he had a murmur at one visit, but the vet explained that it could be due to the stress, and sure enough it had vanished for the next, tranquilized, visit.)
posted by telophase at 11:54 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

Also, we make a habit of giving him Pill Pockets at random times so that he doesn't associate them with the vet.
posted by telophase at 11:55 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

For what it's worth, three of my friends have had cats diagnosed with heart murmurs in the last year. I know it's likely an accidental cluster, but still .... why would you even care if your cat has a heart murmur? Subjecting cats to echocardiograms, giving them daily medication, in one case taking the cat's resting heart rate with a stethoscope once a day, and of course, frequent visits to the vet. I hesitate to call these diagnoses a fad, but they certainly are good for the vets financially, while not doing anything that I can see for the quality of the cat's life. (And to be clear, my cats are beyond spoiled. Mr. K and I strive to be the best possible Staff, alert and anxious to please, concerned for their mental and physical health. 'Cause we love them so much, yes we do.)
posted by kestralwing at 2:05 PM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

My kitty Jack - a former feral, incidentally - has also been diagnosed with a heart murmur. I go to a cats-only vet clinic, and his vet said that she is not concerned about the heart murmur as long as Jack continues in good health. She says cats can live a long and healthy life with a heart murmur. I wasn't pushed into getting an EKG or anything like that. So I would question whether an otherwise-healthy cat who has a heart murmur would need all that follow-up. (Jack, meanwhile, continues to tear around the house like an elephant on speed chasing his brother around.)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 3:20 PM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Blink your eyes slowly at cat. It's called the "cat smile" and shows you're relaxed in his presence.
Try petting his rear back and tail as soon as he starts to eat.
Never attempt a head pat from the front.
Keep your hands behind your back if you are approaching.
Always act like your scaredy cat has right of way.
posted by serena15221 at 12:49 PM on June 23, 2015

Response by poster: Hi all - thanks so much for the perspective and advice. I'll look into the housecall vet and the FElliway, and I feel better now about setting aside the need for an EKG at this time. I really am grateful for your help! Glad we're not alone in trying to parent a skittish cat!
posted by Miko at 1:51 PM on June 23, 2015

You might want to ask your vet about a proBNP test. It's a quick, in-office blood test and something a housecall vet could perform in your home. My vet recommended the SNAP proBNP test prior to ordering an EKG for my cat with a heart murmur. As I understand it, the test looks at a hormone that is secreted by the heart and elevated levels indicate cardiac disease is present. In my cat's case, the levels were not elevated so we decided not to proceed with the EKG at this time but just keep an eye out for cardiac symptoms and reassess at his next annual exam. I believe my vet charged about $60 for the test. (Here's a PDF aimed at veterinarians that explains things in more detail.)
posted by weebil at 3:43 PM on June 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

Here's another tip that might help: if a fearful cat needs to be taken to the vet, and if you have another cat who is more chill, take the chill cat as well, even if that one doesn't need to be at the vet.
The presence of a familiar scent and sight, especially if that cat isn't scared, may very well help the scaredy cat feel less stressed.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:42 AM on March 9, 2016