Is the Hitachi Magic Wand right for my wife who has a frozen shoulder?
June 9, 2015 6:00 AM Subscribe
My partner has a frozen shoulder and cannot self-service. I’d like to help, but is this the right device? Obviously very NSFW details inside.
Snowflakes: my partner of 25 years is generally sex positive, and we have a good sex life with lots of communication. However, she’s always been pretty “meh" about toys. No dislike for them, but no special love either. However, she has a badly frozen shoulder and is looking at at least a couple of years of recovery. Her preferred (well, only) way to get off alone – on he back – is just not possible for her now. She has let me know this is vexing.
So the question is twofold. One, she has to have indirect stimulation: no touching of the clit directly! And, two given her limited range of motion, could she realistically use the Magic Wand? The wand seems long enough you wouldn’t need much range (she’s of average height and weight) or force to use it, but, well, best to ask the experienced.
Oh wait, sorry one more snowflake. We have a fairly large house, and our kids sleep upstairs. So I’m also wondering if the sound could be an issue.
And yes, of course I help in a more “natural” way, but A. I’m not always around and B. everybody deserves to get off by themselves if they want!
Snowflakes: my partner of 25 years is generally sex positive, and we have a good sex life with lots of communication. However, she’s always been pretty “meh" about toys. No dislike for them, but no special love either. However, she has a badly frozen shoulder and is looking at at least a couple of years of recovery. Her preferred (well, only) way to get off alone – on he back – is just not possible for her now. She has let me know this is vexing.
So the question is twofold. One, she has to have indirect stimulation: no touching of the clit directly! And, two given her limited range of motion, could she realistically use the Magic Wand? The wand seems long enough you wouldn’t need much range (she’s of average height and weight) or force to use it, but, well, best to ask the experienced.
Oh wait, sorry one more snowflake. We have a fairly large house, and our kids sleep upstairs. So I’m also wondering if the sound could be an issue.
And yes, of course I help in a more “natural” way, but A. I’m not always around and B. everybody deserves to get off by themselves if they want!
The Magic Wand is pretty versatile in terms of how it can be used - I've used it lying on my back, on my front, sitting down, standing up, etc.
I find it way too powerful to be used directly (results in a super numb crotch within a few seconds), so I tend to use it through clothes - either wearing underwear & leggings, or bundling up an old shirt or something if I'm having naked times and using it through that. It's got two settings, one of which is gentler. I believe you can also buy a third-party attachment that turns the two-setting switch into a dial that varies the speed a bit more.
The need to use force will vary based on what your partner finds stimulating. I do find that I sometimes need to dig it into myself pretty hard, but some of that comes from an increasing capacity for stimulation, having used it now for a couple of years. Some positions that make this a lot easier include standing up with the head of the Wand between my legs and bending over, and sitting on the edge of the bed and shoving it in hard using mostly forearm strength and some thigh clenching.
Without details of your partner's physical capabilities I can't say for sure whether she'd be able to get what she needs from it, but it's long and mobile enough as a unit to make lots of different position options possible. You can also buy a range of third-party attachments to change the shape/size/texture/whatever of the part that touches you.
It is noisy, and notably louder than vibrators which run on batteries. This can be dampened by using it under a duvet, if that's possible. There are various YouTube reviews for the product which should give some idea of the comparative noise level.
Finally, I don't know if this is appropriate for your partner's injury or not, but it's a legitimately good personal massager (it almost feels sordid to use it for not-sex, given its reputation). I've used it (both myself and as applied by my partner) as a massage tool for back & neck pain/stiffness, and it's made a noticeable difference.
posted by terretu at 6:24 AM on June 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
I find it way too powerful to be used directly (results in a super numb crotch within a few seconds), so I tend to use it through clothes - either wearing underwear & leggings, or bundling up an old shirt or something if I'm having naked times and using it through that. It's got two settings, one of which is gentler. I believe you can also buy a third-party attachment that turns the two-setting switch into a dial that varies the speed a bit more.
The need to use force will vary based on what your partner finds stimulating. I do find that I sometimes need to dig it into myself pretty hard, but some of that comes from an increasing capacity for stimulation, having used it now for a couple of years. Some positions that make this a lot easier include standing up with the head of the Wand between my legs and bending over, and sitting on the edge of the bed and shoving it in hard using mostly forearm strength and some thigh clenching.
Without details of your partner's physical capabilities I can't say for sure whether she'd be able to get what she needs from it, but it's long and mobile enough as a unit to make lots of different position options possible. You can also buy a range of third-party attachments to change the shape/size/texture/whatever of the part that touches you.
It is noisy, and notably louder than vibrators which run on batteries. This can be dampened by using it under a duvet, if that's possible. There are various YouTube reviews for the product which should give some idea of the comparative noise level.
Finally, I don't know if this is appropriate for your partner's injury or not, but it's a legitimately good personal massager (it almost feels sordid to use it for not-sex, given its reputation). I've used it (both myself and as applied by my partner) as a massage tool for back & neck pain/stiffness, and it's made a noticeable difference.
posted by terretu at 6:24 AM on June 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
It's really, really, really powerful, so I often use it indirectly. It's also very very very loud. I just did an experiment and turned mine on low and left it on the bed and closed the door; I could still faintly hear it through the closed door. But, if the TV is on quietly or some music or she uses it under a blanket, I think it would mask any telltale noise.
posted by gatorae at 6:26 AM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by gatorae at 6:26 AM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
The Magic Wand is pretty powerful and might be too intense even used indirectly. On preview, what terretu said. It's a bit noisy but from a distance I think it probably wouldn't be recognizable as a vibe to your kids, especially if you already use an electric razor or trimmer, or electric toothbrush.
posted by fanta_orange at 6:28 AM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by fanta_orange at 6:28 AM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
It's hella loud and I personally have never liked the feel of them (too strong?) or the hygiene of them (unremovable head gets pretty gross), however, most women I have been with who have tried them have loved them, including partners with RSI. They are extremely popular.
Try throwing a blanket or floppy pillow over it while it use to muffle the sound.
posted by latkes at 6:34 AM on June 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
Try throwing a blanket or floppy pillow over it while it use to muffle the sound.
posted by latkes at 6:34 AM on June 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
Wands are very powerful, personally I have to be very aroused before they are night into play, and we use accessories with the wand to make it slightly less direct. You can buy power adaptors for the wand that give you a sliding means of power control instead of just high and low, but even then the power of it can lead to overload and numb crotch.. I would recommend however you and your wife look into eggs. They are easy to tuck into place and have a control on a quote so your wife can just lean back and control the simulation. They are cheap so you can buy a selection and a lot less intimidating than the wand.
posted by wwax at 6:46 AM on June 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by wwax at 6:46 AM on June 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
there are wands from other brands that are quieter and less forceful. any woman positive sex toy shop can steer you to the right one. you might also search through ohjoysextoy. she suggested a non-hitachi wand recently.
posted by nadawi at 6:53 AM on June 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 6:53 AM on June 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
Depending on your location, Good Vibrations has workshops on using items like the Hitachi. I recall one specifically for the Hitachi, too. I would check your local emporiums of pleasure to see if they offer workshops and courses. If nothing else, more expert advice.
posted by jadepearl at 7:29 AM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jadepearl at 7:29 AM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
You might want to research some other options, too. Erika Moen's Oh Joy Sex Toy comic has a wide variety of reviews and comparisons. And once you have some kind of idea what your wife might be into, go into a store so she can pick them up and see how much they weigh and how they handle.
posted by faethverity at 7:55 AM on June 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by faethverity at 7:55 AM on June 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
There are excellent sex toy reviews at heyepiphora.com
Best of all, the most recent review is of the rechargeable Hitachi Magic Wand!
The reviewer discusses power, noise, size and usability. She has reviewed hundreds of sex toys/vibrators and her reviews are fun and honest.
posted by NoiselessPenguin at 9:32 AM on June 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best of all, the most recent review is of the rechargeable Hitachi Magic Wand!
The reviewer discusses power, noise, size and usability. She has reviewed hundreds of sex toys/vibrators and her reviews are fun and honest.
posted by NoiselessPenguin at 9:32 AM on June 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
I have heard that the wand is very loud and very powerful. It may be too much for your wife if she prefers indirect stimulation anyway. Check out the toy reviews on Oh Joy, Sex Toy and see what she may like. Amazon is also a good resource for sex toys and they actually have good reviews. Also, don't shy away from adult stores in your town, look at their Yelp reviews. People there are often very happy to help you find something that works for your needs!
posted by Crystalinne at 11:02 AM on June 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Crystalinne at 11:02 AM on June 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
OJST reviewed a wand called the Doxy a while back. They like it better than the Hitachi.
posted by brujita at 11:57 AM on June 9, 2015
posted by brujita at 11:57 AM on June 9, 2015
You may have to take her to a sex positive store like Good Vibrations so she can pick one out for herself... after listening to good advice.
posted by kschang at 1:38 PM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kschang at 1:38 PM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I would recommend, and Good Vibes recommends, the Smart Wand. Quiet, variable speed, easy to clean with a wipe. It's sort of the Hitachi for the modern generation.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:28 PM on June 9, 2015
posted by DarlingBri at 4:28 PM on June 9, 2015
It's $40-60. It can, as this pervert often forgets, also be used as a massager , which sounds both useful and plausibly deniable for someone with an injury. Maybe it works, maybe not, and it can be used over clothes. Cheap enough experiment.
It's one of the few toys I own that's actually nice for not self service as well. Because I am so, so lazy.
Re: cleaning. Put a condom on it.
posted by gregglind at 6:31 PM on June 9, 2015
It's one of the few toys I own that's actually nice for not self service as well. Because I am so, so lazy.
Re: cleaning. Put a condom on it.
posted by gregglind at 6:31 PM on June 9, 2015
I also require indirect stimulation to orgasm, and I despise the Hitachi. I thought I would like it, because while I need my stimulation to be indirect I still need it to be strong, but even with a towel or cloth it feels like putting my cooch against the engine of a 747, and I'm numb within minutes.
I have had much better luck with the Eroscillator. It is, in fact, the most effective toy I've ever used. Per the website it oscillates rather than vibrates, and I can feel the difference. (I've read reviews where some people said they can't though.) It comes with various attachments, is power-operated rather than battery-operated, and is much quieter than the Hitachi.
posted by unannihilated at 6:41 PM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have had much better luck with the Eroscillator. It is, in fact, the most effective toy I've ever used. Per the website it oscillates rather than vibrates, and I can feel the difference. (I've read reviews where some people said they can't though.) It comes with various attachments, is power-operated rather than battery-operated, and is much quieter than the Hitachi.
posted by unannihilated at 6:41 PM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I own both a Hitachi Magic Wand and an Eroscillator 2. Though the Eroscillator is substantially more expensive, I like it better and I feel like orgasms are stronger with it. I can tell a difference in the sensation between it and vibrators, and it feels closer to manual stimulation in my opinion. For me, the Magic Wand tends to desensitize the entire area even on low power and it takes longer to have an orgasm because I have to apply stronger pressure or move it around. If your wife does use a Magic Wand, I definitely agree about using it through underwear or other clothes. The Eroscillator has a number of different heads that might help your wife find the sensation she prefers without needing direct stimulation. The Eroscillator is quieter than the Magic Wand, but can still be a little loud on high.
I've also used a Wahl 6-in-1 massager and it's not terrible but it's also loud. It's also a little more awkward than a MW or an Eroscillator due to the shape, so it might not be ideal.
posted by i feel possessed at 8:33 PM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I've also used a Wahl 6-in-1 massager and it's not terrible but it's also loud. It's also a little more awkward than a MW or an Eroscillator due to the shape, so it might not be ideal.
posted by i feel possessed at 8:33 PM on June 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
OJST says that the Doxy can be dialed down to a lower vibration than the Hitachi. Someone at the NY Pleasure Chest also told me that Hitachi attachments fit on the Doxy.
posted by brujita at 3:19 AM on June 12, 2015
posted by brujita at 3:19 AM on June 12, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
You could conceivably use the attachments that are available, or place it in a comfortable position where it stimulates external spots. I have found it convenient both to use it on my side, or while on my back.
So, given your restrictions, I don't know if it's suitable for your wife,but my god, the orgasms it's given me that I couldn't achieve previously - I'm tempted to lie just so your wife will use it because,fuckyes.
So, instead I think it might be worthwhile to consult experts. Please try ohjoysextoy, and Betty Dodson (responsive to email, she responded to me).
posted by b33j at 6:23 AM on June 9, 2015 [2 favorites]