Please help me change my diet

May 31, 2015 10:28 PM

I recently gained some weight. I want to lose this weight, but I also want to fuel my body with clean energy for an active lifestyle. Please help my reconcile some feelings and plan a strategy.

Inspired by some recent weight gain I have decided to become more conscious of what I put in my body.

Background info: 25 years old, 6'1", currently about 200 lb and looking pretty tubby, have typically hovered around 185 in recent years, but was as high as 215 when I was an early teen. I have a pretty good general knowledge of nutrition, lead a pretty active lifestyle, and enjoy lifting weights and outdoor cardio when I'm in the habit of doing so. I also eat way too much shit and choose to look the other way in favor of stuffing my face.

My goal includes weight loss back down to 185 lbs, but also increased energy and resilience to sickness. I currently find myself consistently lethargic and I also get sick more than I would like.

It seems that wherever I turn someone has a different opinion with research to back it up. My inclination is to go low-carb, though I'm not sure if I should enter ketosis. Which do you think is better for my long-term well-being and short-term minor weight loss? Is there any other nutritional structure that would be more recommended? I'm more interested in incorporating a lifestyle change rather than "going on a diet."

A couple concerns I have:

- How do I reconcile this new diet with my partner and our current eating habits? We mostly eat healthy together, like chicken and vegetables, but also like to go out to dinner, or occasionally make something like lasagna and garlic bread. I don't want to be a debbie-downer and make her go on a diet by association. However, and especially if I choose to do keto, I don't imagine I should eat pizza just to appease my girlfriend.

- I don't want to feel like I am depriving myself of some of life's simple pleasures. I like beer, I like lasagna, I like pizza. On the one hand, I feel like life is too short to not enjoy these things, but on the other hand, I strive to value what I feel like over the short term enjoyment of eating something tasty. How do you reconcile these feelings?

Thanks!

posted by masters2010 to Health & Fitness (21 answers total)

Looks like you answered your own question when you said, I also eat way too much shit and choose to look the other way in favor of stuffing my face. .

So, keep what you like, but get in the habit to eat a bit less of it. Have 1 slice of pizza instead of two. Don't go for the giant monster piece of lasagna. Limit yourself to 2-3 beers a week or strictly to social occasions (given you don't go on a bender and down pitchers and pitchers at a time). If you and your partner make lots of food together, just eat a bit less and she won't be affected.

I'd stay away from super low-carb/ketosis mainly because that's not very sustainable for most people. That said however, staying away from packaged baked goods helps. Why Paleo/low-carb/keto/whatever buzzword is being thrown around works is because you'd cut out all the cookies, cakes, pies, ice cream, and soda. Basically all the things that you probably shouldn't be eating that much of anyway, but is pervasive in your diet anyway.

Incorporate more greens into your diet. Veer towards eating things that aren't as processed. Get rid of more sugar from your diet. Don't beat yourself up on slipping a day or two.
posted by astapasta24 at 10:43 PM on May 31, 2015 [2 favorites]

I look at like, I eat a high protein smoothie in the morning, and some high protein snacks, and then I adjust the evening dinners, where it intersects with my husband.

For instance, you can do a socca pizza instead of a wheat pizza. You can put the chicken curry on quinoa instead of rice.

Order the fish instead of the steak. Get the salad bar.

Don't necessarily go no carb, but think smart about your carbs. Whole corn (polenta) instead of corn chips. Less chips and crackers. Beans over wheat. Beans are carbs, yes, but they have fiber. Corn is carbs, yes, but whole grain corn is better than processed.

I also look at mediterranean foods for an inspiration. Romesco sauce, gazpacho, ajo blanco, fish, etc.

I buy veggies with several meals in mind. For instance, I cut up onion, red and green bell pepper, for a chicken curry, but I saved half of each for a frittata for tomorrow, to which I'll add mushrooms and a bit of Italian cheese blend (lower fat than other cheeses). So if you buy veggies, chop them all up at once and bag them up and put in the fridge for other uses. I also have asparagus to add to the frittata, as it was on sale, but I'll use some of that later on in another meal.

Overall: more veggies, less bread or pasta, more beans and whole grains like quinoa.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 11:01 PM on May 31, 2015 [2 favorites]

you will have good days and bad days, but even those bad days are crucial to knowing what works for you and what doesn't.

what are you willing to give up, and what are you not? apparently not beer, lasagna and pizza. so learn how to cook and order/pick restaurants in a way that maximizes nutrition and minimizes calories. the foods that you aren't particularly keen on and that are not diet-friendly need to go (example, the soda that you drink out of boredom). incorporate more diet-friendly foods (vegetables, fruits, whole grains, meats) and keep those non-diet ones you can't part with.

low carb is good. protein is always good. fat is debatable. there is no science to dieting as every body is different and needs a unique hack. experiment around. it will take several months at least to find a lifestyle/diet that you can maintain long-term and that gives you the results you want.

you mention lethargy. this is a sign of crashing from a high carb diet or having a diet low in essential minerals. get some bloodwork done.

getting sick often is a sign that you are ignoring your body's signals (e.g. body feeling weak from being pushed too hard or feeling unsatisfied because you are feeding it low-nutrition foods)

which parts of the day are you willing to go hungry? are you better with small portions, frequently or large portions three times a day? pay attention to what you're putting into your mouth, and how frequently you move and how you hungry/tired you feel. if it helps, keep a journal to build this self-awareness. learn to read nutritional labels and ingredient lists.
posted by kinoeye at 11:06 PM on May 31, 2015

I am doing keto right now (3 weeks in) and it has turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. I'm not saying low-carb/ketosis is for everyone, but personally for me it makes the most sense. I've already seen health benefits in a short time and have completely curbed my sugar cravings / food addiction. I have more energy, less headaches, got rid of all IBS symptoms, etc.

Hope you find something that works for you. There are ways to still have plenty of delicious food while not taking in as much sugar... even if you don't go full-on low-carb.

The biggest thing is being aware of what I am eating, why I am eating it, and just being "mindful" in general when it comes to health, instead of being on addiction auto-pilot.
posted by kup0 at 12:05 AM on June 1, 2015 [4 favorites]

To add, if you do go low-carb, make sure you take care of your electrolytes to avoid the "keto flu". There are significant changes you are undergoing if you decide to go low-carb, so I'd recommend doing the research necessary before making a big change.
posted by kup0 at 12:08 AM on June 1, 2015

I suggest that you eat proper and larger breakfasts. Go out for good breakfasts on the weekend to get that social aspect of food addressed - it stops you wanting to eat a big meal later when it's harder to use up the calories. I started to get up slightly earlier and cook a protein to have with eggs and mushrooms, tomato etc. I have fish and rocket salad leaves with poached or scrambled eggs just about every day. Or before my current pescatarianism, I had a small piece of meat like chicken, good sausages from my local butcher etc with breakfast. If I have pasta, I have it in the middle of the day when the carbs can be used. It stops the starving feelings in the afternoon and means I don't feel like or want a big dinner. Or you could eat things you like at dinner time earlier in the day - a small slice of lasagne with salad and a boiled egg in the morning has been one of my favourites, even re-heated casseroles that I make in bulk. Breakfast is not everyone's thing, and it wasn't really mine, but now I am seriously into my breakfast - the table is set, we sit and eat well before going to work. It's nice couple time for us.

Also: less [empty calories] alcohol and knock out the sugar in fruit juices and soft drinks. Getting rid of sugary things helps the weight fall off.
posted by honey-barbara at 12:53 AM on June 1, 2015

Re: enjoying life's pleasures. Although it's true that you can still have lasagna and beer and just do moderation, I have also found it useful to alter my perception of what it means to indulge or partake in sensory pleasures. For example, I realised that most of our hobbies (husband and I) revolved around food and so did our holidays. I've made a conscious effort to broaden our horizons and find things to take pleasure in that aren't food related.

Tbh I think you will need to change some fundamental things about your diet and pleasure in life. If they were all fine then you would not be overweight (assuming that you are). But the changes don't have to mean no fun, just different fun.
posted by jojobobo at 1:42 AM on June 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

I don't want to be a debbie-downer and make her go on a diet by association.

This is an important consideration. The initial phase of a diet can indeed be an "intervention" of a few weeks duration - but to make things work you need to think about a life-long improvement to what you eat. It is going to be far easier to achieve this if both you and your partner are bought into this - not just you. Perhaps you could suggest to her that you both try to eat more healthily - and that you try banishing the less healthy foods to particular occasions: weekends or when eating out for example. Things are going to be much easier if your fridge and larder are not stocked with stuff that you should not be eating.
posted by rongorongo at 1:54 AM on June 1, 2015

I'm a Low Carb High Fat, kind of guy. My best selling book is about that journey and how I lost 10 pounds in 30 days. But it's not for everyone. It's difficult. It's restrictive. And it's hard to maintain long term with 3 others in the house who are eating anything they want :)

For you, I would recommend If It Fits Your Macros, or "Flexible Nutrition", a much more inclusive eating plan.

Good article on The Daily Beast.

Bodybuilding.com interview with Dr. Layne Newton. Warning: BEEFCAKE!

What Are My Macros? Calculator
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 3:52 AM on June 1, 2015

Have you ever done low carb before? If yes, it may not be your silver bullet this go-round. Google "one golden shot".

Do you have any thyroid issues yourself, or in your immediate family? If so, avoid low carb, as it is bad for existing hypothyroid and can push you over the edge into hypothyroid if you're prone. Research shows carbs should be kept at about 120 or above so as to not harm thyroid function.

If you must do low carb, perhaps try some version of carb cycling, not just low carb all the way.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 4:09 AM on June 1, 2015

Losing weight is just a matter of calories in vs calories out. The easiest thing to do would be cutting out alcohol or soda.
posted by deathpanels at 4:27 AM on June 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

In my experience if you make small changes they will snowball and your feelings about those things you love (pizza, beer, carbs), will change with time and your stomach capacity will go down so that you can't eat as much happily as you can now.
You can't change how you feel about beer and pizza right now. If you reduce them (so have a pizza/beer night 1x/week), you will lose weight and feel better and that will motivate you and if you notice you're getting sick less often and feeling better you'll keep going. Two slices of a veggie-packed pizza with a side salad is very different than half a pizza and beer. Consider having the pizza for lunch on the weekend instead of before bed.

I highly recommend not eating after 8pm on most nights to give your stomach a chance to be empty while you sleep (good for the body/immunity so you can truly rest). No snacking unless it's a small snack before/after a workout. Add greens/veggies to as many meals as possible. Pick one or two things a week to change, see how you fare, decide whether to stick with it or not. For myself allowing myself to be not 100% full during meals, to stop snacking, and to eat after 7-8pm has made a big difference (ayurvedic recommendations).

If a large part of your socializing with your partner is through food you can work on changing that so that it's quality time walking, or talking, or something not food-related. Those associations are hard to break, I'm always thinner when I'm single for that reason.
posted by lafemma at 5:38 AM on June 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

Avoid low calorie snacks. I'm not talking about fruits. I'm talking about the low calorie version of your favorite cookie or ice cream or whatever. These low calorie snacks are the exact opposite of what they claim to be. They don't satisfy your cravings, they make your cravings even stronger!

Also, no matter how much you tell yourself that you are going back to clean eating tomorrow, do not use that as an excuse to pig out today. That's the lamest self lie ever. All pigging out does is make you more likely to do it again the next day. Quit thinking of your diet in normal day night cycles. Your healthy eating doesn't start tomorrow. It starts immediately after the last food or drink you had. Don't eat fried chicken in the evening just because you had breakfast cereal that morning. Become more aware of how these self lies work.

Throw out all your old wardrobe. If you get larger, it's either spend money on new clothes or go naked. This helps a lot.

Reddit has some weight loss subs. Find one of the less vile ones and consider joining.

Lastly. Exercise is for energy and muscle development. Eating clean is for weight. You can't cheat through exercise. If that worked, you'd see people drinking chocolate malts while walking on a treadmill.

Good luck.
posted by Beholder at 6:38 AM on June 1, 2015

I've done the No S diet (currently on hiatus during the third trimester of pregnancy). No snacks, no sweets, no seconds, except on Saturdays, Sundays, and special days. There are no foods you have to give up (except sweets during the week). It's pretty adaptable to whatever kind of food people who live with you eat- I managed to do it for a couple of months without even telling my partner. He had figured out I was eating less, but hadn't figured out the pattern, and I didn't have to ask him to make any changes to his diet at all. You don't have to count calories or carbs or pay any attention to what you're eating. I managed to lose about 60 lbs.
posted by Anne Neville at 8:35 AM on June 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

I think low carbing is particularly well-suited to people who have portion control issues, honestly. It breaks the cycle where I eat, spike my glucose, have it drop, and do it again -- a.k.a., "feel hungry even though I just ate." By eating stuff that is actually filling, it does the portion control work for me. I lost 50 pounds that way -- not once thinking about fat, calories, or how much I was actually eating.

When I'm not low carbing, I'm tired and depressed. When I'm low carbing, I'm in good places mentally and physically. Mindfulness in general -- taking careful, unobjective, guilt-off-the-table note of myself in both states, even writing it down sometimes -- has helped to build my awareness of that, which in turn has taken away the whole 'is this a diet' thing. For me, it's not a "diet" -- it's something I do so that I don't feel like crap.

Mindset is huge on eating with others. Let other people worry about what they eat -- you're not 'forcing' anyone to do anything. It's possible to make individual portions. It's possible to make alternatives you can share that don't suck. It's possible to eat a giant awesome Cobb salad while the person next to you has macaroni and cheese. And it helps so much if everyone involved treats it like it's no big deal.

As for "life's simple pleasures," I've found that sometimes it helps to remind myself that I do actually know what random_beerpizzaicecream_01 tastes like...and to ask myself how I'm likely to feel physically a couple of hours after it's gone. This is actually where the mindfulness stuff has been most helpful.

Best of luck to you. This can be so challenging, no matter how many times you hear "calories in, calories out."
posted by gnomeloaf at 9:09 AM on June 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

Making that kind of lifestyle change is only antisocial if you let it be. There is no need for you and your partner to have the exact same food on your plates. It just takes a bit more effort.
posted by koahiatamadl at 9:48 AM on June 1, 2015

I like beer, I like lasagna, I like pizza. On the one hand, I feel like life is too short to not enjoy these things, but on the other hand, I strive to value what I feel like over the short term enjoyment of eating something tasty. How do you reconcile these feelings?

I would like to address just this part of your question.

The first thing is that you can still enjoy each of these foods, just in smaller portions and/or less frequently. You may come to see them as a special treat, rather than a regular all-the-time food.

The second thing is that as you improve your nutrition to what works best for your body, what your taste buds crave will change too. (I've heard this called "palate drift.") For me personally, I once did about 2.5 weeks on a low-carb high-fat ketogenic diet, and by the end of it I literally could not stand the taste of sugar. Many foods I previously liked now tasted too sweet. I started to look for low-sugar alternatives or different brands of my favorite foods. When I reintroduced carbs and went to a moderate-carb high-fat diet, which is where I still am, my taste buds changed back to liking sugar, so I went back to the foods and brands I used to like but generally in lower amounts.

YMMV, of course, but you may find that enjoying these "simple pleasures" is less of an issue than you thought and/or what foods you consider "simple pleasure" changes.
posted by danceswithlight at 9:56 AM on June 1, 2015

A change in diet is a lifestyle change, not something to do temporarily, so I'd share the decision with your partner and talk it through.

For what it is worth, I cannot say enough good things about becoming a nutritarian. It has completely changed my sense of what is good food, and so I really don't feel deprived by missing out on junk food, salt, added sugar and so forth. My recommendation is to read Eat to Live and try going completely nutritarian for 6 weeks. It is astonishingly effective for weight loss and a tremendous boost in your sense of good health. And the recipes are DELICIOUS. And it isn't a "diet" -- you are not going to be hungry, ever.
posted by bearwife at 10:40 AM on June 1, 2015

The second thing is that as you improve your nutrition to what works best for your body, what your taste buds crave will change too.

This doesn't happen to everybody. It never happened to me. I ate fewer sweets on No S, but I never stopped wanting them. I managed to lose weight even though my tastes did not change.
posted by Anne Neville at 11:36 AM on June 1, 2015

As someone who's been juggling the relationship/diet balance for a bit, I did want to comment on this:

I don't want to be a debbie-downer and make her go on a diet by association. However, and especially if I choose to do keto, I don't imagine I should eat pizza just to appease my girlfriend.

If your girlfriend is anything like me, or the other women I know, she will likely be decently pleased at your decision to eat more healthily/weight-consciously. Women are under a lot of pressure, culturally, to eat like burly lumberjacks while still somehow looking like undernourished pixies, and this comes into play in relationships a lot. You may even find that your girlfriend has been dying to overhaul her habits but hasn't wanted to be the "debbie downer" herself. ;)

Even if this is not the case, it sounds like the bulk of your bad eating habits as a couple are the result of eating out, in which case the burden of ordering two different things isn't as big as it may seem. If she really really wants pizza and you're on a keto diet, well, surely she has friends who'll get that pizza with her. Or she can get pizza by the slice while you eat a chicken salad. It'll be okay.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:05 PM on June 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

I don't want to be a debbie-downer and make her go on a diet by association. However, and especially if I choose to do keto, I don't imagine I should eat pizza just to appease my girlfriend.

Your 6'1" and I assume male. Unless your girlfriend has a highly unusual metabolism, you can probably eat more calories than her, even when on a diet.
posted by kjs4 at 4:26 PM on June 1, 2015