Please help me build an adult wardrobe for men
May 5, 2015 10:57 AM Subscribe
I find my style transitioning from one of jeans and a t-shirt to khakis and a Polo. Please help me build my wardrobe!
As the question states, my style seems to be maturing, and I need to build out my wardrobe a bit. I am 25/m, currently self employed and without any dress code. I find myself wanting to look a bit more put together, and I think that means khakis and polos and button downs. A new job is also possibly in my future which would likely require a suit and tie, or the very least a button down with tie. I have some of the basics, but let's just assume I own nothing in this realm. Some of my favorite brands include Ex-Officio, Icebreakers, Lululemon, Levis, Uniqlo. Part of me is just tempted to buy everything at Uniqlo, seeing as it's so cheap, but not sure that'd be the best idea, especially as I tend to prefer quality in smaller and quantity. So, what do you recommend?
Thanks!
As the question states, my style seems to be maturing, and I need to build out my wardrobe a bit. I am 25/m, currently self employed and without any dress code. I find myself wanting to look a bit more put together, and I think that means khakis and polos and button downs. A new job is also possibly in my future which would likely require a suit and tie, or the very least a button down with tie. I have some of the basics, but let's just assume I own nothing in this realm. Some of my favorite brands include Ex-Officio, Icebreakers, Lululemon, Levis, Uniqlo. Part of me is just tempted to buy everything at Uniqlo, seeing as it's so cheap, but not sure that'd be the best idea, especially as I tend to prefer quality in smaller and quantity. So, what do you recommend?
Thanks!
As a Life Coach, I've worked with men with this dilemna and I always have them head over to Antonio Centeno's "Real Men, Real Style" website.
He gives good solid advice on style, as opposed to fashion. True, there is some affiliate shilling and upsells for products, but overall, he keeps you looking classic as opposed to fashionable.
I also recommend choosing an avatar - someone who's style you really dig and wouldn't mind emulating.
It's like training wheels until you really discover and embrace your own style. Mine was George Clooney. I KNOW I KNOW.
Another interesting source is the Male Fashion Advice Sub-Reddit.
They tend to trend toward A Certain Look, but it's fun to look around and get to know your own taste.
Look on the right hand side of the sub-reddit for TONS of good links, FAQs and guides.
I would encourage you to aim higher than khaki's, Polo's and button downs. Please! :)
A few tips of my own:
- Darker jeans
- Less sneakers, more dressier shoes
- Long sleeve shirts (roll up the sleeves)
- A nice watch
- Go for flat front slacks and shorts, as opposed to pleated. You don't have a ferret in your trousers.
- Stay away from snarky printed tees, get some plain colored ones
- MAKE SURE EVERYTHING FITS PROPERLY
- Pay for a good haircut
Thank you for wanting to up your game! I love seeing people do this!
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 11:16 AM on May 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
He gives good solid advice on style, as opposed to fashion. True, there is some affiliate shilling and upsells for products, but overall, he keeps you looking classic as opposed to fashionable.
I also recommend choosing an avatar - someone who's style you really dig and wouldn't mind emulating.
It's like training wheels until you really discover and embrace your own style. Mine was George Clooney. I KNOW I KNOW.
Another interesting source is the Male Fashion Advice Sub-Reddit.
They tend to trend toward A Certain Look, but it's fun to look around and get to know your own taste.
Look on the right hand side of the sub-reddit for TONS of good links, FAQs and guides.
I would encourage you to aim higher than khaki's, Polo's and button downs. Please! :)
A few tips of my own:
- Darker jeans
- Less sneakers, more dressier shoes
- Long sleeve shirts (roll up the sleeves)
- A nice watch
- Go for flat front slacks and shorts, as opposed to pleated. You don't have a ferret in your trousers.
- Stay away from snarky printed tees, get some plain colored ones
- MAKE SURE EVERYTHING FITS PROPERLY
- Pay for a good haircut
Thank you for wanting to up your game! I love seeing people do this!
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 11:16 AM on May 5, 2015 [7 favorites]
Well-tailored (or great-fitting) button-down shirts are a fantastic way to look good. Make sure they're either ironed or of a material that looks good straight out of the dryer.
A couple of pairs of non-pleated slacks in dark colors and tan will go with just about everything.
Two pairs (at least) of good shoes. Lace-up. Black and brown. Get a pair of oxblood or a fun color to jazz things up.
Have a suit and a jacket. Don't use a suit jacket on its own, as it doesn't have the same cut and doesn't look good like that.
A good overcoat works wonders. Nothing can ruin a great look like throwing a hoodie over it.
posted by xingcat at 11:22 AM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
A couple of pairs of non-pleated slacks in dark colors and tan will go with just about everything.
Two pairs (at least) of good shoes. Lace-up. Black and brown. Get a pair of oxblood or a fun color to jazz things up.
Have a suit and a jacket. Don't use a suit jacket on its own, as it doesn't have the same cut and doesn't look good like that.
A good overcoat works wonders. Nothing can ruin a great look like throwing a hoodie over it.
posted by xingcat at 11:22 AM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
Seconding literally everything said by Major Matt Mason Dixon, and I would also throw in Put This On as a site to look at. I'm a year older than you and in a very similar situation. I decided to start dressing better a few years back, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. PTO was a huge help for me. You don't have to read everything there, but if you look at the categories on the site, "Q And Answer" and "Best of the Blog" are great resources. Their eBay Roundups are also phenomenal resources for finding excellent clothes on the cheap.
(Also, please please please don't wear a shirt with a tie and no jacket. Jackets are the best; they're like clothing cheat codes. If you get the right size and spend the extra few bucks to have it properly tailored, they broaden your shoulders, slim your waist, and just generally make you look like the best version of yourself.)
posted by protocoach at 11:41 AM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Also, please please please don't wear a shirt with a tie and no jacket. Jackets are the best; they're like clothing cheat codes. If you get the right size and spend the extra few bucks to have it properly tailored, they broaden your shoulders, slim your waist, and just generally make you look like the best version of yourself.)
posted by protocoach at 11:41 AM on May 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
All I can suggest is avoid most prescriptions. I think polos look shlubby and pleated trousers look silly too, but you do you.
Spend on quality (not brands): cheap clothes only ever look cheap. I spent more on a pair of shoes a couple of years ago than I ever thought I would or should, but I wear the things nearly every day and they still get compliments from other guys and women alike.
The point is, kick it up a notch, spend where it's warranted, throw in something unusual from time to time. You may as well have fun with it.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 11:54 AM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
Spend on quality (not brands): cheap clothes only ever look cheap. I spent more on a pair of shoes a couple of years ago than I ever thought I would or should, but I wear the things nearly every day and they still get compliments from other guys and women alike.
The point is, kick it up a notch, spend where it's warranted, throw in something unusual from time to time. You may as well have fun with it.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 11:54 AM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
I realized you didn't mention what your money situation was like. I was assuming you probably wanted to keep your costs low. If you have a little more money to spend, I would also suggest Trunk Club. From what kalessin described, they're similar to J. Hilburn. You'll work with a consultant to figure out your style, and then they'll send you shipments of clothing that they think would be a good fit for you and you can keep them or send them back. It's a little pricier, but the service and convenience are great. I have a few friends working in their tech department, and the folks I've met over there at meetups and so on are good people. I don't think something like this is necessary if you're interested enough to do your own legwork, but if you want to dress better without thinking too much about it, J. Hilburn or Trunk Club might be a good choice.
posted by protocoach at 12:00 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by protocoach at 12:00 PM on May 5, 2015
POLO SHIRTS NO unless you are Magneto in X-Men First Class (in which case I have to tell you, stop being such a jerk even if you look acceptable in a polo shirt).
I am a queer person who often dresses like a pint-sized man. My thoughts:
1. What is your color palette? Mostly, this boils down to "do you prefer blues, greys and cool tones or browns, olives and warm tones generally?" Small wardrobes work best if they are part of a coherent color palette. Also, this helps you choose things when shopping.
2. Some people can wear a lot of black; many people cannot. Black chinos are particularly difficult to wear well unless your whole wardrobe is cued around blacks and greys and has a general air of seriousness. Basically, if you're a goth or an artist of some sort or in mourning or in some other way very intentional with your black clothes, go for it. Don't make them your default.
3. Your shoes should fit your feet - unless you have particular style intentions around puffy trainers or health concerns which determine your shoe style, your shoes should follow the shape of the foot. This is a puffy shoe. This is an analogous, not especially distinguished non-puffy shoe.
4. "Button down with a tie"....be a bit clever with this one. In more formal settings, you should wear a button down with a jacket and tie; people who wear button downs with a tie only risk looking like they're in copier sales or high school seniors at debate club or something. Better a button-front, nice flannels or chinos and no tie, IMO.
5. Button down versus button front; dress versus other - "Button down" is a shirt whose collars button down, like so. It's a more casual and particularly American kind of shirt. Button fronts button in the front; "button front" encompasses multitudes. Dress shirts have stiffer collars and are designed to be worn with ties; sports shirts are not. I am of the opinion that J Crew makes pretty nice sports shirts for the money.
6. If I were starting from zero and did not have to work in a formal office, I would acquire:
- Several pairs of chinos in palette appropriate colors and a standard (not too slim, not too loose) fit. Various blues, olives, greys, a beige/khaki that suits your complexion.
- Several pairs of weekend pants/shorts. For me, I like cords for winter rather than jeans - better color variation, less social pressure to have the right kind.
- A couple of pairs of lace-ups, a pair of dress boots and a pair of trainers in your particular style. Lace-ups - brogues are relatively casual; perhaps a brown pair and a black pair, or a brown pair and a navy pair. Dress boots could be chukkas or chelseas or lace-ups; they are basically for fall and winter weather. Trainers are at your discretion - Purcells or Supergas or similar if you like a minimalist look, puffier ones if not. I am partial to the old Hussein Chalayan for Puma ones you can find on Ebay.
- Casual/sports shirts in hues that complement the chinos
- Two dress belts and one casual belt. I have a blue italian leather workhorse of a belt that goes with almost everything, but I could actually use a similar black one. Spend more than you think appropriate on a belt - you will be surprised. (In the long run, I'd rather have a fancy belt than fancy pants.) Dress belts should be dual-sided/lined/stitched so that they don't stretch or distort. A casual belt can be fabric with a D-ring if you like.
- Sweaters - this is very much at your discretion. I like cotton ones because they're easy to wash and do not itch; the Land's End "drifter" model is classic, stodgy and durable and makes your shoulders look wider. Cardigans are very individual; I have a couple of old J Crew cotton ones from eBay. The main thing is to make sure they don't cling too much to your shirtsleeves.
For a moderately more dressy effect, acquire a sportcoat in a textured cotton, a nubbly wool, a corduroy or other interesting fabric. You can wear a sportcoat with no tie, or acquire a couple of dress shirts. I like softer looking dress shirts in colors; white is very Business Formal unless it's your best color.
If you're getting into really dressy clothes, consider getting some flannels rather than chinos and get some more shoes.
As to buying clothes new, I am partial to J Crew and Club Monaco for mass produced basics and then to places like Steven Alan, Unionmade (caution! mostly not union-made!!) and RRL Ralph Lauren (which you might like if you like Levis)for heart-stoppingly expensive pieces. People seem to have mixed results with Everlane, but I like their tee shirts. (They are talking up a "modern polo", which if a polo to you has a lot of style implications might be a reasonable choice - but if a polo is a default "nicer than a tee, get one at Target" affair for you, you probably don't want to go there. The Everlane ones are definitely well over into normcore.)
You might also want to look at Zara - their clothes are massively overpriced for what you get, but things do go on sale. I would buy Club Monaco over Zara hands down if paying full price.
posted by Frowner at 12:03 PM on May 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
I am a queer person who often dresses like a pint-sized man. My thoughts:
1. What is your color palette? Mostly, this boils down to "do you prefer blues, greys and cool tones or browns, olives and warm tones generally?" Small wardrobes work best if they are part of a coherent color palette. Also, this helps you choose things when shopping.
2. Some people can wear a lot of black; many people cannot. Black chinos are particularly difficult to wear well unless your whole wardrobe is cued around blacks and greys and has a general air of seriousness. Basically, if you're a goth or an artist of some sort or in mourning or in some other way very intentional with your black clothes, go for it. Don't make them your default.
3. Your shoes should fit your feet - unless you have particular style intentions around puffy trainers or health concerns which determine your shoe style, your shoes should follow the shape of the foot. This is a puffy shoe. This is an analogous, not especially distinguished non-puffy shoe.
4. "Button down with a tie"....be a bit clever with this one. In more formal settings, you should wear a button down with a jacket and tie; people who wear button downs with a tie only risk looking like they're in copier sales or high school seniors at debate club or something. Better a button-front, nice flannels or chinos and no tie, IMO.
5. Button down versus button front; dress versus other - "Button down" is a shirt whose collars button down, like so. It's a more casual and particularly American kind of shirt. Button fronts button in the front; "button front" encompasses multitudes. Dress shirts have stiffer collars and are designed to be worn with ties; sports shirts are not. I am of the opinion that J Crew makes pretty nice sports shirts for the money.
6. If I were starting from zero and did not have to work in a formal office, I would acquire:
- Several pairs of chinos in palette appropriate colors and a standard (not too slim, not too loose) fit. Various blues, olives, greys, a beige/khaki that suits your complexion.
- Several pairs of weekend pants/shorts. For me, I like cords for winter rather than jeans - better color variation, less social pressure to have the right kind.
- A couple of pairs of lace-ups, a pair of dress boots and a pair of trainers in your particular style. Lace-ups - brogues are relatively casual; perhaps a brown pair and a black pair, or a brown pair and a navy pair. Dress boots could be chukkas or chelseas or lace-ups; they are basically for fall and winter weather. Trainers are at your discretion - Purcells or Supergas or similar if you like a minimalist look, puffier ones if not. I am partial to the old Hussein Chalayan for Puma ones you can find on Ebay.
- Casual/sports shirts in hues that complement the chinos
- Two dress belts and one casual belt. I have a blue italian leather workhorse of a belt that goes with almost everything, but I could actually use a similar black one. Spend more than you think appropriate on a belt - you will be surprised. (In the long run, I'd rather have a fancy belt than fancy pants.) Dress belts should be dual-sided/lined/stitched so that they don't stretch or distort. A casual belt can be fabric with a D-ring if you like.
- Sweaters - this is very much at your discretion. I like cotton ones because they're easy to wash and do not itch; the Land's End "drifter" model is classic, stodgy and durable and makes your shoulders look wider. Cardigans are very individual; I have a couple of old J Crew cotton ones from eBay. The main thing is to make sure they don't cling too much to your shirtsleeves.
For a moderately more dressy effect, acquire a sportcoat in a textured cotton, a nubbly wool, a corduroy or other interesting fabric. You can wear a sportcoat with no tie, or acquire a couple of dress shirts. I like softer looking dress shirts in colors; white is very Business Formal unless it's your best color.
If you're getting into really dressy clothes, consider getting some flannels rather than chinos and get some more shoes.
As to buying clothes new, I am partial to J Crew and Club Monaco for mass produced basics and then to places like Steven Alan, Unionmade (caution! mostly not union-made!!) and RRL Ralph Lauren (which you might like if you like Levis)for heart-stoppingly expensive pieces. People seem to have mixed results with Everlane, but I like their tee shirts. (They are talking up a "modern polo", which if a polo to you has a lot of style implications might be a reasonable choice - but if a polo is a default "nicer than a tee, get one at Target" affair for you, you probably don't want to go there. The Everlane ones are definitely well over into normcore.)
You might also want to look at Zara - their clothes are massively overpriced for what you get, but things do go on sale. I would buy Club Monaco over Zara hands down if paying full price.
posted by Frowner at 12:03 PM on May 5, 2015 [14 favorites]
I am also very, very partial to gently used things via eBay. A good strategy: shop around, buy one or two things that you really like and hunt for similar (or the same) on eBay. I get most things used, and I'm an odd size so thrift stores aren't much help. "Heartstoppingly expensive but made by well-compensated workers" plus "$5.99 and shipping" pretty much composes my whole wardrobe.
posted by Frowner at 12:25 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 12:25 PM on May 5, 2015 [2 favorites]
The only way (imho) to make sense of the offerings on eBay: The haberdashboard.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 1:59 PM on May 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 1:59 PM on May 5, 2015 [5 favorites]
I forbid Mr. antinomia from wearing polos. T-shirts are fine, button-downs are fine (the short sleeve ones in the summer are cute) but polos and khakis -- ugh.
Dark jeans, button down (with undershirt), is his standard wardrobe, and I think it looks nice if you want to be mature/conservativish without looking staid and boring. In the cooler months he adds a sweater and/or a blazer (Banana Republic usually has nice ones). Blazers are pretty awesome -- they're like purses for men. So many hidden pockets inside, and with jeans and depending on the blazer they can look anywhere from quirky/professorial or not-trying-too-hard put together, so in other words very nice in a not boring "I have to wear a suit right now" way.
And a tie.. only if you are actually wearing a suit and it's required. I second the comment about not wearing a tie unless you're also wearing a jacket.
(Disclaimer: I don't know anything about men's fashion, I just know what I like.)
posted by antinomia at 2:13 PM on May 5, 2015
Dark jeans, button down (with undershirt), is his standard wardrobe, and I think it looks nice if you want to be mature/conservativish without looking staid and boring. In the cooler months he adds a sweater and/or a blazer (Banana Republic usually has nice ones). Blazers are pretty awesome -- they're like purses for men. So many hidden pockets inside, and with jeans and depending on the blazer they can look anywhere from quirky/professorial or not-trying-too-hard put together, so in other words very nice in a not boring "I have to wear a suit right now" way.
And a tie.. only if you are actually wearing a suit and it's required. I second the comment about not wearing a tie unless you're also wearing a jacket.
(Disclaimer: I don't know anything about men's fashion, I just know what I like.)
posted by antinomia at 2:13 PM on May 5, 2015
I've said this before on MeFi, but I really don't get all the polo hate. 25 years old is a great age to try cool-looking polos! It really depends on the shirt. Just don't wear them too loose. Examples.
posted by misozaki at 6:00 PM on May 5, 2015
posted by misozaki at 6:00 PM on May 5, 2015
I think when people think of "polos and khakis", they're thinking of Dockers and free, company-issued polos. These clothes are often designed to be able to fit everyone from 15-100 and therefore don't often actually fit any one person, especially if you're 25 and in reasonable shape. So: don't wear Dockers and a baggy polo. If James Bond can wear a polo and khakis, you can too.
Kent Wang makes some nice, slim-fitting polos that will not make your torso balloon out. (Ref: Put This On post on polos).
There are lots of options for chinos. Avoid pleats. Put This On chino roundup.
Other advice: wait until Uniqlo has a sale on Oxfords, then buy 3 or 4 in different colors. Repeat, and you will have a nice closet of decent everyday shirts. (No short-sleeved oxfords, yet.)
Check out Need Edition and Foremost Edition. They've got fairly affordable stuff, just a few new items each month. It may stray a little into overly-fashiony territory sometimes, but be judicious and you'll come out ok.
No shorts, unless you're engaged in something physically demanding or at the beach. If you are wearing shorts, they should hit above the knee and shouldn't be cargo shorts.
Everyone else has given you pretty good advice.
posted by Maecenas at 7:24 AM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Kent Wang makes some nice, slim-fitting polos that will not make your torso balloon out. (Ref: Put This On post on polos).
There are lots of options for chinos. Avoid pleats. Put This On chino roundup.
Other advice: wait until Uniqlo has a sale on Oxfords, then buy 3 or 4 in different colors. Repeat, and you will have a nice closet of decent everyday shirts. (No short-sleeved oxfords, yet.)
Check out Need Edition and Foremost Edition. They've got fairly affordable stuff, just a few new items each month. It may stray a little into overly-fashiony territory sometimes, but be judicious and you'll come out ok.
No shorts, unless you're engaged in something physically demanding or at the beach. If you are wearing shorts, they should hit above the knee and shouldn't be cargo shorts.
Everyone else has given you pretty good advice.
posted by Maecenas at 7:24 AM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]
Okay, the reason why polos are almost always bad is also the reason why tie-and-dress-shirt-but-no-jacket is bad.
Unless you are extremely fit or have an exceptional polo, a polo shirt is basically a vast expanse with a little teeny collar up at the top. This makes the vast expanse look even vaster by contrast, and because it's an unstructured fabric it doesn't do much for the ol' figure. It also tends to stretch out rather than hug the body, except where it hugs irregularities. And a white or light colored polo only looks worse if you're a pale-skinned person - if it's a crisp contrast with your coloring, though, this will mitigate the polo-ness somewhat. (A t-shirt is also a vast expanse, but it tends to be either intentionally baggy or more fitted, and it doesn't have the lil' teeny button collar effect.)
Similarly, a dress shirt and tie is a vast, billowy, unmarked expanse with a little bit of contrasting tie in the middle, particularly if you're wearing a white shirt. In theory, a casual shirt with a casual tie could look better in a retro way, but this seems like a bit of a capital-L Look that will not please all viewers.
And in both cases, the shirt/pants issue divides the body at the middle and makes you look blocky.
In theory, a polo in a contrasting color for your complexion in a better fabric with a better collar (a la Everlane or Kent Wang) will work because it will cut down on the vast-expanseness...but I maintain that this is eleventh level fashion wizard stuff and therefore better left alone unless you are really interested in working on your style.
Also, James Bond is kind of a douche, as is Magneto in X-Men first class; both Magneto and Bond may look okay in polos tailored to their frames and filmed from flattering angles, but they could both do so much better both in their private lives and in their fashion.
I would suggest leaving polos alone until you can be sure that you are really committed to the idea of wearing them rather than defaulting to them.
posted by Frowner at 9:23 AM on May 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
Unless you are extremely fit or have an exceptional polo, a polo shirt is basically a vast expanse with a little teeny collar up at the top. This makes the vast expanse look even vaster by contrast, and because it's an unstructured fabric it doesn't do much for the ol' figure. It also tends to stretch out rather than hug the body, except where it hugs irregularities. And a white or light colored polo only looks worse if you're a pale-skinned person - if it's a crisp contrast with your coloring, though, this will mitigate the polo-ness somewhat. (A t-shirt is also a vast expanse, but it tends to be either intentionally baggy or more fitted, and it doesn't have the lil' teeny button collar effect.)
Similarly, a dress shirt and tie is a vast, billowy, unmarked expanse with a little bit of contrasting tie in the middle, particularly if you're wearing a white shirt. In theory, a casual shirt with a casual tie could look better in a retro way, but this seems like a bit of a capital-L Look that will not please all viewers.
And in both cases, the shirt/pants issue divides the body at the middle and makes you look blocky.
In theory, a polo in a contrasting color for your complexion in a better fabric with a better collar (a la Everlane or Kent Wang) will work because it will cut down on the vast-expanseness...but I maintain that this is eleventh level fashion wizard stuff and therefore better left alone unless you are really interested in working on your style.
Also, James Bond is kind of a douche, as is Magneto in X-Men first class; both Magneto and Bond may look okay in polos tailored to their frames and filmed from flattering angles, but they could both do so much better both in their private lives and in their fashion.
I would suggest leaving polos alone until you can be sure that you are really committed to the idea of wearing them rather than defaulting to them.
posted by Frowner at 9:23 AM on May 6, 2015 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by kellyblah at 11:09 AM on May 5, 2015 [15 favorites]