Summer sublet question
April 30, 2015 11:54 AM Subscribe
Would three people sharing a (big) two-bedroom for two months be too cramped?
My brother decided to move out of our 2 bdr apartment 3 months early so I had to find a summer subletter. Luckily my friend's BF was looking, and though I had to decide whether to renew my lease 3 months earlier than expected, I guess it turned out fine.
Now, a friend of mine is rather suddenly looking for a summer sublet too. We discussed him renting my living room for July and August. That way, the three of us split the rent for 2 months and we save money while we're all job searching.
The issues would be:
-- There would be no common hang space during those two months, apart from the kitchen and balcony
-- The balcony is attached to the living room, so if we wanted to use the balcony, we'd have to walk through friend 2's bedroom (which he says doesn't bother him)
I asked my friend's BF if he's okay with it, and he said he thought it might be a bit cramped, but that it's my decision. I'm not sure if he's just being nice or if it actually bothers him. But in any case, it's only for two months.
I guess, part of me wants this because I want to have a fun filled summer with lots of hangouts, and friend 2 is super fun to be with, while my friend's boyfriend is not really that social as far as I know. But, is it good to put 2 people in a 3 bedroom apartment?
My brother decided to move out of our 2 bdr apartment 3 months early so I had to find a summer subletter. Luckily my friend's BF was looking, and though I had to decide whether to renew my lease 3 months earlier than expected, I guess it turned out fine.
Now, a friend of mine is rather suddenly looking for a summer sublet too. We discussed him renting my living room for July and August. That way, the three of us split the rent for 2 months and we save money while we're all job searching.
The issues would be:
-- There would be no common hang space during those two months, apart from the kitchen and balcony
-- The balcony is attached to the living room, so if we wanted to use the balcony, we'd have to walk through friend 2's bedroom (which he says doesn't bother him)
I asked my friend's BF if he's okay with it, and he said he thought it might be a bit cramped, but that it's my decision. I'm not sure if he's just being nice or if it actually bothers him. But in any case, it's only for two months.
I guess, part of me wants this because I want to have a fun filled summer with lots of hangouts, and friend 2 is super fun to be with, while my friend's boyfriend is not really that social as far as I know. But, is it good to put 2 people in a 3 bedroom apartment?
Assuming that last sentence should read "is it good to put 3 people in a 2 bedroom apartment."
I mean, it really depends on the people - one of the most awesome summer-sublet situations I encountered had three people sharing a one bedroom apartment, with a second guy in the living room and a third guy in a loft bed that had been built inside a walk-in closet. And I also was one of a whole bunch of people that went through a revolving-door sublet in New York - technically it was a one-bedroom, but they had a storage loft over the kitchen and they threw a couple mattresses up there, stuck a set of bunk beds in the bedroom and had a foldout couch, and so at one point they had as many as SIX people living there. (I was one of four when I moved in.)
I would sit down with both of them and talk it out - and encourage people to be really honest about what their concerns are, and iron out the Rules Of The House (i.e., "Friend's BF likes to have quiet hours on Thursdays because it's the night before his tai chi class, Friend 2 is cool with that as long as she gets to use the living room in the afternoon for yoga practice," etc.). Those two sublet situations I talked about worked because the people had done that (the first crowd mutually agreed that the one girl in the group got the bedroom, and the two guys got the shit beds; the second apartment was big enough that we all made it work, but there were still a couple of House Rules that I'm just not remembering right now).
I'd have a frank talk with all of them, and encourage them to be frank about what their concerns are as well, before you commit to actually doing this. It can be fun, but if one person is kind of seething because another person's shoes stink and you dont' have a means to deal with drama like that, two months will feel long.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:14 PM on April 30, 2015
I mean, it really depends on the people - one of the most awesome summer-sublet situations I encountered had three people sharing a one bedroom apartment, with a second guy in the living room and a third guy in a loft bed that had been built inside a walk-in closet. And I also was one of a whole bunch of people that went through a revolving-door sublet in New York - technically it was a one-bedroom, but they had a storage loft over the kitchen and they threw a couple mattresses up there, stuck a set of bunk beds in the bedroom and had a foldout couch, and so at one point they had as many as SIX people living there. (I was one of four when I moved in.)
I would sit down with both of them and talk it out - and encourage people to be really honest about what their concerns are, and iron out the Rules Of The House (i.e., "Friend's BF likes to have quiet hours on Thursdays because it's the night before his tai chi class, Friend 2 is cool with that as long as she gets to use the living room in the afternoon for yoga practice," etc.). Those two sublet situations I talked about worked because the people had done that (the first crowd mutually agreed that the one girl in the group got the bedroom, and the two guys got the shit beds; the second apartment was big enough that we all made it work, but there were still a couple of House Rules that I'm just not remembering right now).
I'd have a frank talk with all of them, and encourage them to be frank about what their concerns are as well, before you commit to actually doing this. It can be fun, but if one person is kind of seething because another person's shoes stink and you dont' have a means to deal with drama like that, two months will feel long.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:14 PM on April 30, 2015
This seems like a REALLY difficult question for us to answer, because so much depends on the three specific people involved. I've stayed for a month on the floor of a friend's tiny studio apartment and had a great time; I've also stayed in a nice big 2-bed/2-bath place with just one other person and ended up feeling cramped and annoyed.
There's really not a lot to go by here so it's entirely possible I'm reading into this, but the sense I'm getting is that you and your friend have the potential to end up 'taking over' this living space if s/he moves in. Do be sure you're being respectful to your friend's boyfriend, as he might be bothered if you and your friend are out in the family room all night every night - maybe try to do your hangouts outside of the house regularly so he can enjoy a little space, too. Be ready, too, to manage your own feelings if you start feeling cramped and annoyed - a friend who's super fun to be with in finite doses can sometimes become an utter pain if you feel like they're on top of you all the time and you can't get away from them.
Eh, nonetheless, since it's only 2 months I'd probably have one more talk with your friend's BF and then go ahead and do it - it'll go by fast. Please do be mindful of your current roommate, but I hope you all have fun.
posted by DingoMutt at 12:15 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
There's really not a lot to go by here so it's entirely possible I'm reading into this, but the sense I'm getting is that you and your friend have the potential to end up 'taking over' this living space if s/he moves in. Do be sure you're being respectful to your friend's boyfriend, as he might be bothered if you and your friend are out in the family room all night every night - maybe try to do your hangouts outside of the house regularly so he can enjoy a little space, too. Be ready, too, to manage your own feelings if you start feeling cramped and annoyed - a friend who's super fun to be with in finite doses can sometimes become an utter pain if you feel like they're on top of you all the time and you can't get away from them.
Eh, nonetheless, since it's only 2 months I'd probably have one more talk with your friend's BF and then go ahead and do it - it'll go by fast. Please do be mindful of your current roommate, but I hope you all have fun.
posted by DingoMutt at 12:15 PM on April 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think 2 months is not that big a deal, IF the rent savings is worth it to everyone. I shared a studio with a friend for several months, and the first couple months were the easiest (my studio has a bedroom alcove and a huge walk-in closet that was friend's "bedroom"). The sucky parts are the lack of privacy, the lack of common space, and generally feeling cramped, but those downsides are easily outweighed when it's short term and the monetary savings are a big factor.
posted by DoubleLune at 12:17 PM on April 30, 2015
posted by DoubleLune at 12:17 PM on April 30, 2015
It totally depends on the people. I'm at the point in my adult life where I would not even consider this, but I'm set financially, so I don't need to.
One option that may be more palatable -- would you be up for sharing your bedroom with your friend? Put a curtain down the middle, and basically just use the bedroom for sleeping. The two of you pay a bit less than the BF in the other room, but BF still saves some money, and the common space is available for common use, without tiptoeing around someone. If you don't expect to have overnight guests for a couple months, this seems nicer to me.
posted by ktkt at 12:27 PM on April 30, 2015
One option that may be more palatable -- would you be up for sharing your bedroom with your friend? Put a curtain down the middle, and basically just use the bedroom for sleeping. The two of you pay a bit less than the BF in the other room, but BF still saves some money, and the common space is available for common use, without tiptoeing around someone. If you don't expect to have overnight guests for a couple months, this seems nicer to me.
posted by ktkt at 12:27 PM on April 30, 2015
Two months is not that long, yes, but it is long enough that if someone has a problem with it, it's going to cause a lot of strain and stress for everyone. I agree that this really depends on the people involved -- I would definitely not be ok with that and it wouldn't be worth the savings to me, but I know a lot of people who would and have lived in cramped situations like this to save money. I think what you need to do is really make sure everyone is 100 percent on board, and set specific boundaries about people's space along with rules for bringing guests over.
Is your "friend's BF" one of your roommates? If so, then he is wrong when it tells you that it's your decision. He lives there too and is presumably on your lease, so it is his decision too, and if he wouldn't agree to such a thing if it were his decision, then I don't think you should do it. You mention your friend's BF is less social and tried to defer the decision to you -- my read on this is that he is shy, non-confrontational and isn't telling you how he really feels.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:29 PM on April 30, 2015
Is your "friend's BF" one of your roommates? If so, then he is wrong when it tells you that it's your decision. He lives there too and is presumably on your lease, so it is his decision too, and if he wouldn't agree to such a thing if it were his decision, then I don't think you should do it. You mention your friend's BF is less social and tried to defer the decision to you -- my read on this is that he is shy, non-confrontational and isn't telling you how he really feels.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:29 PM on April 30, 2015
I think it depends a lot on the people and also where you are in life. If you guys are all at the "just graduated from college" stage, I think it could be fine -- most people have roommates in college, right? I would probably put two people in one bedroom for a little less rent, and keep the living room as common space. If you're all older and used to living on your own, I think the transition will be a lot more challenging (I know at my current life stage, this would drive me nuts, while my first year out of college it would have been completely fine given the right roomates.)
The other thing to consider is your friend (who has the BF who is moving in)...is friend with BF going to be staying over all the time, effectively making this FOUR people in a two-bedroom? Would everyone be chill with making a "no overnight guests for these two months" rule, which I think would make the cramped quarters a lot more liveable?
Agreed with commenters above that if you do want to try this, the key is having a totally honest sit-down, making sure there are no awful dealbreakers, and then making some house rules to make things run as smoothly as you can.
posted by rainbowbrite at 12:36 PM on April 30, 2015
The other thing to consider is your friend (who has the BF who is moving in)...is friend with BF going to be staying over all the time, effectively making this FOUR people in a two-bedroom? Would everyone be chill with making a "no overnight guests for these two months" rule, which I think would make the cramped quarters a lot more liveable?
Agreed with commenters above that if you do want to try this, the key is having a totally honest sit-down, making sure there are no awful dealbreakers, and then making some house rules to make things run as smoothly as you can.
posted by rainbowbrite at 12:36 PM on April 30, 2015
It really depends on the individual person. I know that I personally would not be okay staying in the living room (but would be fine with one of the bedrooms). Does your friend have experience living in a room that's usually a common-area (with no way to easily shut everyone out, I assume).
posted by ethidda at 12:58 PM on April 30, 2015
posted by ethidda at 12:58 PM on April 30, 2015
It sounds like you and friend's BF were comfortable with the rent amount before the possible third came along. While extra money is always good, if the two-roommates-total option is indeed viable for your budgets, I would not do this (or, more accurately: I have actually done this and definitely would not again). Just a few considerations that haven't already been mentioned:
1. How much will you care about Roommate #3's level of housekeeping in their "room," which you all have to constantly see and pass through to access the kitchen, balcony, bathroom, etc.?
2. How much space do you have in each of your rooms for furniture (other than your bed) for hanging out with visitors, watching TV, eating, etc.?
3. What happens when any (let alone all!) of you want to have overnight guests? How often? Who gets "dibs?" You'll need to have some clear groundrules if you want to avoid six people trying to use one bathroom, and that can be vexing even with people who know each other very well.
4. Will you split the rent equally? Will all three of you feel you are getting a "good deal" if so?
5. If you want to have a "fun filled summer with lots of hangouts," whose room will you use? How awkward will it be if only two of the roommates want to host a hangout? (as mentioned above, I too am a bit worried about the position you're putting friend's BF in)
I'm sure it's workable, and two months isn't terribly long... but no, I wouldn't recommend it.
posted by argonauta at 1:35 PM on April 30, 2015
1. How much will you care about Roommate #3's level of housekeeping in their "room," which you all have to constantly see and pass through to access the kitchen, balcony, bathroom, etc.?
2. How much space do you have in each of your rooms for furniture (other than your bed) for hanging out with visitors, watching TV, eating, etc.?
3. What happens when any (let alone all!) of you want to have overnight guests? How often? Who gets "dibs?" You'll need to have some clear groundrules if you want to avoid six people trying to use one bathroom, and that can be vexing even with people who know each other very well.
4. Will you split the rent equally? Will all three of you feel you are getting a "good deal" if so?
5. If you want to have a "fun filled summer with lots of hangouts," whose room will you use? How awkward will it be if only two of the roommates want to host a hangout? (as mentioned above, I too am a bit worried about the position you're putting friend's BF in)
I'm sure it's workable, and two months isn't terribly long... but no, I wouldn't recommend it.
posted by argonauta at 1:35 PM on April 30, 2015
I think a solution might be creating some privacy for the third dude AND some group hang-out space for everyone, by cordoning part of the living room off with a screen. I've seen a few apartments that were set up like this (including the cheap college student version of hanging bedsheets from the ceiling) and I think given it's only two months, this is totally reasonable.
One thing to think about first is Dude 3's situation with regard to bathrooms--is there one with a shower that is accessible without walking through a bedroom?--and/or closets--is there one for him and if not is that okay?
posted by capricorn at 5:16 PM on April 30, 2015
One thing to think about first is Dude 3's situation with regard to bathrooms--is there one with a shower that is accessible without walking through a bedroom?--and/or closets--is there one for him and if not is that okay?
posted by capricorn at 5:16 PM on April 30, 2015
I mean, I don't think so, but I once spent two months living in a 400-square-foot 1 BR with three people (plus occasional guests), so...yeah. I spent a full year with three people in a small two-bedroom, and it was totally fine.
It'll be harder if you're all in the house a lot. Those situations worked for me because we were all (at least partially) employed, or at least not always hanging around the house. Because it's summer, you'll all presumably be outside some of the time (or at least have that as an option).
So yeah, I think it's totally fine, but it obviously depends on the people involved.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 5:16 PM on April 30, 2015
It'll be harder if you're all in the house a lot. Those situations worked for me because we were all (at least partially) employed, or at least not always hanging around the house. Because it's summer, you'll all presumably be outside some of the time (or at least have that as an option).
So yeah, I think it's totally fine, but it obviously depends on the people involved.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 5:16 PM on April 30, 2015
Potentially doable (and I was one of four adult humans, two dogs, and two cats in a two-bedroom apartment for about three months) but you have to get along, and most especially communicate well. I recommend leaning hard on the ask side of ask v. guess. Luckily, we were all ready to end the situation at the end of that three months and are still good friends today. If anyone's got habits that are annoying to any of the others, you will be figuring that out in short order, so be prepared to deal with that as gracefully as you can.
posted by asperity at 5:50 PM on April 30, 2015
posted by asperity at 5:50 PM on April 30, 2015
Response by poster: Thx for your help! Just to clarify the living room has its own door so privacy would not be an issue for my third roommate except when we want to use the balcony. Neither of them plan to have overnight guests ( both have gf's who are working at a camp over the summer).
posted by winterportage at 7:11 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by winterportage at 7:11 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Given your update, I say go for it! I think the biggest annoyances would have been people constantly walking through the living room to get to the kitchen/bathroom (which are way more necessities than a balcony), and lots of overnight stays (which sounds like will not be happening). You guys just need to work out an agreement about the balcony, which I think should be pretty easy to come to assuming everyone is reasonable (i.e. things like 'no balcony time when roommate is sleeping, etc.)
posted by rainbowbrite at 7:18 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by rainbowbrite at 7:18 AM on May 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Since it seems like you won't have to walk through friend 2's living room bedroom to get to the bathroom or kitchen, I'd say go for it. Two months will go by pretty quickly and it sounds like you won't all be socialising together anyway, so a communal hangout space probably won't be missed much.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 9:14 AM on May 1, 2015
posted by kinddieserzeit at 9:14 AM on May 1, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by vunder at 12:12 PM on April 30, 2015 [4 favorites]