Day job blues.
April 28, 2015 7:28 PM Subscribe
How do I cope?
A new day job I landed has me pretty bummed out. I'm an artist so I've been going from one day job to the next. This one isn't bad compared to my last one (it pays better), but it's still an unchallenging and sometimes boring job. The position doesn't require a college degree (I don't have one). My co-workers have short fuses. They're nice people but they get so angry all of the time, especially at other co-workers from other departments (we're the shipping department). It makes me uncomfortable. I don't really have anything in common with these guys but we get along. Except for one co-worker who doesn't speak to me at all (yet is friendly with everyone else) and just barks orders at me. The job is at a small pharmaceutical company so I feel even more out of place.
There are points where I get depressed and anxious because I hate the idea of going from one dead-end day job to the next. Going to school will just cost me more money but I can't even afford to have my own place (still saving up for that). I'm not sure if it's even realistic to find a job that pays well that's in the art field. That has to do with anything artistic.
Dealing with these abrasive co-workers and being called out as "the quiet co-worker" is bothering me more and more. Should I just bite my tongue and deal with this? How? Is it possible to have a fulfilling day job?
Any stories that will inspire me will gladly be appreciate. Or advice.
Thanks a lot!
A new day job I landed has me pretty bummed out. I'm an artist so I've been going from one day job to the next. This one isn't bad compared to my last one (it pays better), but it's still an unchallenging and sometimes boring job. The position doesn't require a college degree (I don't have one). My co-workers have short fuses. They're nice people but they get so angry all of the time, especially at other co-workers from other departments (we're the shipping department). It makes me uncomfortable. I don't really have anything in common with these guys but we get along. Except for one co-worker who doesn't speak to me at all (yet is friendly with everyone else) and just barks orders at me. The job is at a small pharmaceutical company so I feel even more out of place.
There are points where I get depressed and anxious because I hate the idea of going from one dead-end day job to the next. Going to school will just cost me more money but I can't even afford to have my own place (still saving up for that). I'm not sure if it's even realistic to find a job that pays well that's in the art field. That has to do with anything artistic.
Dealing with these abrasive co-workers and being called out as "the quiet co-worker" is bothering me more and more. Should I just bite my tongue and deal with this? How? Is it possible to have a fulfilling day job?
Any stories that will inspire me will gladly be appreciate. Or advice.
Thanks a lot!
I am a little shy and socially anxious myself. I try to remind myself that being friendly is more important than being clever, funny or having something so great to say. I might be a little awkward but I think plenty of people at my work appreciate me for being friendly. And who says you have to be buddies with everybody at work? I make small talk with most of them and put more attention on my life outside of work - focus on your art!
I have also found it takes me at least a year before I start feeling comfortable socially in a job. And remember work for most people just sucks... You are ahead of the pack having an interest/hobby. Pour your life into that and put up with the day job.
posted by Slimemonster at 10:15 PM on April 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I have also found it takes me at least a year before I start feeling comfortable socially in a job. And remember work for most people just sucks... You are ahead of the pack having an interest/hobby. Pour your life into that and put up with the day job.
posted by Slimemonster at 10:15 PM on April 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm in a situation where i'm the youngest person in my department and I don't have anything in common with anyone so I keep to myself most of the time and make small talk here and there. I agree with just be friendly, do your job and focus on getting better at what you do.
Find other people in different departments (that's what I do) if you want to find some companionship. I've been down that road too where I've had abrasive co-workers. It's not easy but just stay focused and be amazing at your job. Not every job environment is going to be ideal for you but know that eventually you will get somewhere whether it's at another place or on your own as long as you keep at it, improve a little more and build skill sets so that you'll have more choices.
Someone once told me your "job" is what you're getting paid to do. The "work" is what keeps you going. There is no job that is fulfilling, just keep working on your talents and eventually you'll get where you want to go.
posted by Plug1 at 10:56 PM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Find other people in different departments (that's what I do) if you want to find some companionship. I've been down that road too where I've had abrasive co-workers. It's not easy but just stay focused and be amazing at your job. Not every job environment is going to be ideal for you but know that eventually you will get somewhere whether it's at another place or on your own as long as you keep at it, improve a little more and build skill sets so that you'll have more choices.
Someone once told me your "job" is what you're getting paid to do. The "work" is what keeps you going. There is no job that is fulfilling, just keep working on your talents and eventually you'll get where you want to go.
posted by Plug1 at 10:56 PM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, I used to feel the same way a lot of the time. For about 9 years I was a quiet guy working in a loud, brash, blue-collar environment, and some of my coworkers didn't know what to make of me. To be fair, I didn't always know what to make of them either.
What made it bearable for me was that I was apprenticing in a skilled trade. There was a lot to learn, and I threw myself into the most difficult projects I could get myself assigned to. The business owners figured out that I was careful with and enthusiastic about complicated work, so they gave me more and more of it. There was plenty to dislike about the job, but I generally wasn't bored, it wasn't dead-end, and I earned the respect of my coworkers despite being an odd duck. So, my suggestion is that you seek more challenging employment; I don't know how I would've tolerated something like shipping and receiving.
posted by jon1270 at 5:21 AM on April 29, 2015
What made it bearable for me was that I was apprenticing in a skilled trade. There was a lot to learn, and I threw myself into the most difficult projects I could get myself assigned to. The business owners figured out that I was careful with and enthusiastic about complicated work, so they gave me more and more of it. There was plenty to dislike about the job, but I generally wasn't bored, it wasn't dead-end, and I earned the respect of my coworkers despite being an odd duck. So, my suggestion is that you seek more challenging employment; I don't know how I would've tolerated something like shipping and receiving.
posted by jon1270 at 5:21 AM on April 29, 2015
There are points where I get depressed and anxious because I hate the idea of going from one dead-end day job to the next. Going to school will just cost me more money but I can't even afford to have my own place (still saving up for that). I'm not sure if it's even realistic to find a job that pays well that's in the art field. That has to do with anything artistic.
I think you need a long term plan here. Your stultifying day job might be more tolerable if you were also moving forward in another way, like taking night classes or online classes towards a college degree that would give you more opportunities.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:40 AM on April 29, 2015
I think you need a long term plan here. Your stultifying day job might be more tolerable if you were also moving forward in another way, like taking night classes or online classes towards a college degree that would give you more opportunities.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:40 AM on April 29, 2015
For what it's worth, being a picture framer or selling art supplies are day jobs that are not amazing and don't pay amazingly, but are pleasant enough, and being an artist is a boon to getting and keeping the job. In the art field the jobs that pay are the ones that get further and further from contact with art. Gallery workers don't make much, but their managers do. If you want your life to be about your art, you have to frame your employment as one of the tools of your art: you go to work and do a good job because it's what buys you the time and supplies to do what really matters.
You can get really angry over stupid tiny things in any day job, and focusing on what you're really about-- your art; being yourself; being good to your family -- will help talk you down with that. I guess my suggestion is to cultivate a rich inner life to stay happy while you're working. You are bigger than what you do all day, and while I wish we all didn't have to sell time and effort for food and shelter, that's how it works.
Being the quiet guy is actually good-- soon they will realize that you don't talk when you have nothing to say and that most of your communication is useful or positive, so when you do say something, they'll listen. If you want to talk more, ask people questions about themselves and really listen. People love to talk about themselves, they feel good, and it's something to do while you're invoicing widgets or whatever. You don't have to be super fun, just a positive, honest, no-drama guy. That's a good coworker to be.
To get through it? Think about what you want to do, and figure out how you're going to do it. It sounds like you're in a safe but frustrating place, so that's good-- you have some time to think about what you really want. I always say step one is getting a job, and step two is getting a job you want, so maybe that's your new hobby.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:44 AM on April 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
You can get really angry over stupid tiny things in any day job, and focusing on what you're really about-- your art; being yourself; being good to your family -- will help talk you down with that. I guess my suggestion is to cultivate a rich inner life to stay happy while you're working. You are bigger than what you do all day, and while I wish we all didn't have to sell time and effort for food and shelter, that's how it works.
Being the quiet guy is actually good-- soon they will realize that you don't talk when you have nothing to say and that most of your communication is useful or positive, so when you do say something, they'll listen. If you want to talk more, ask people questions about themselves and really listen. People love to talk about themselves, they feel good, and it's something to do while you're invoicing widgets or whatever. You don't have to be super fun, just a positive, honest, no-drama guy. That's a good coworker to be.
To get through it? Think about what you want to do, and figure out how you're going to do it. It sounds like you're in a safe but frustrating place, so that's good-- you have some time to think about what you really want. I always say step one is getting a job, and step two is getting a job you want, so maybe that's your new hobby.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:44 AM on April 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
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What about trying to get to know your coworkers better on a personal level? Eat lunch together, get drinks after work, etc. Everyone works better with people they like, and it's hard to like someone you don't know.
posted by radioamy at 8:06 PM on April 28, 2015 [2 favorites]