Fashion Rolemodels Needed: Burly Bald Dude Weirdo Edition
April 27, 2015 10:34 AM Subscribe
I need fashion role models that are stocky and/or balding men. Bonus points if they are also weirdos and/or freaks.
In my own mind I've always looked like some combination of a young Iggy Pop and Prince.
In reality, though (sigh)... I'm a stocky hairy dude with very wide shoulders who needs to exercise extravagantly to not look like a buffalo. I will never be skinny no matter what I do.
And I'm bald. And in my mid-forties.
I refuse, however, to accept that I can't be fashionable and/or hip, or at least dress in a way that expresses who I feel that I am.
I think that I just need to find a way to play to my strengths... in short, I need fashion role models that are stocky and/or balding men.
Bonus points if they are also weirdos and/or freaks, though I'm willing to accept that maybe I just can't pull that off. Your suggestions please!
In my own mind I've always looked like some combination of a young Iggy Pop and Prince.
In reality, though (sigh)... I'm a stocky hairy dude with very wide shoulders who needs to exercise extravagantly to not look like a buffalo. I will never be skinny no matter what I do.
And I'm bald. And in my mid-forties.
I refuse, however, to accept that I can't be fashionable and/or hip, or at least dress in a way that expresses who I feel that I am.
I think that I just need to find a way to play to my strengths... in short, I need fashion role models that are stocky and/or balding men.
Bonus points if they are also weirdos and/or freaks, though I'm willing to accept that maybe I just can't pull that off. Your suggestions please!
Don Urban is an Australian designer who makes and often models his own line of mens clothing. I only just noticed after many years of following that he is not in fact bald, he just favors hats, but I think he might check a few boxes for you, if you like the modern deconstructed look.
posted by yeahlikethat at 11:00 AM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by yeahlikethat at 11:00 AM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Erroneous, the stocky/weirdo guy look is really in right now!
Google images for lumbersexual.
I don't know of any blogs offhand but this style is really in now and it works better on men that are stocky and look the part!
posted by littlewater at 11:04 AM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
Google images for lumbersexual.
I don't know of any blogs offhand but this style is really in now and it works better on men that are stocky and look the part!
posted by littlewater at 11:04 AM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
My friend Eric is a party photographer who always looks great and fits in everywhere from all ages punk fests to private sex parties.
posted by Juliet Banana at 11:15 AM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Juliet Banana at 11:15 AM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
Bob Mould isn't super stocky but he's a great dressing older bald man.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:25 AM on April 27, 2015
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:25 AM on April 27, 2015
The actor Willie Garson dresses really well (and non-Lumerjackually) irl.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:29 AM on April 27, 2015
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:29 AM on April 27, 2015
How about Elton John?
And when I look at those images, I see him doing a lot of things that make sense to me as a fellow stocky guy;
- Lots of solid colors, the pizazz comes from which colors and color combinations you use. Lots of contrast between the pieces, or an ensemble that stays in one color palette (all blues, all blacks, all grays) but still with contrast via shades and patterns.
- Branching out from totally solid colors, one piece can be something relatively over-the-top; sequins or sparkles even. I've gotten compliments wearing a fairly shiny sharkskin jacket, or a double-breasted pinstripe, or even a smoking jacket.
- Accessories. Glasses, pins, buttons, scarves, watches, suspenders, belts, ties, pocket squares, maybe even hats are ways to step outside the bounds of "ordinary" men's clothing.
My personal 2 ยข as a fellow bald stocky middle-aged guy;
- Google-imaging "lumbersexual" just gets me a buncha pics of ordinary skinny good-looking guys only they've got thick beards and are wearing plaid shirts. I dunno that that helps much, and TBH a plaid shirt on a middle aged guy probably doesn't really come across as "fashionable" as much as just normal wear, or even that you wish it was still the 90's and grunge was king.
- A "rock & roll" look (I kinda can't believe I just typed that) with lots of black and leather usually works pretty well.
- Outside of flannel shirts, most ordinary checks and plaids don't tend to do us stocky guys any favors, IMO. And I wouldn't call them "fashionable" for middle-aged guys, you just look like George Costanza.
- "Skinny" pants are seriously the worst idea, you'll just look like a balloon on a string. Straight leg or a slight taper at most to your pants legs.
- Solid, "heavier" shoes with a thick sole, like Doc Martins or similar. A shoe that's too slim or delicate makes us look almost literally unbalanced, like there's nothing supporting the solidity of the rest of our bodies.
- It's All About The Fit. Really, you could probably apply almost any men's fashion advice or ideas, but your clothes have to fit right. Too tight and we look like sausages about to burst from our casings (and we feel that way, too, which is uncomfortable and makes us move funny), too loose and we look like we're wearing a deflated hot air balloon. In practice this means you should get friendly with a local place that can do alterations to what you buy off the rack, and/or be willing to spend some time searching for the handful of articles of clothing that will fit just right.
Also, how bald are you? Because if you haven't tried the full-on shaved head or "peach-fuzz" almost-shaved buzz-cut you totally should. That's the way to own your baldness.
posted by soundguy99 at 9:53 PM on April 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
And when I look at those images, I see him doing a lot of things that make sense to me as a fellow stocky guy;
- Lots of solid colors, the pizazz comes from which colors and color combinations you use. Lots of contrast between the pieces, or an ensemble that stays in one color palette (all blues, all blacks, all grays) but still with contrast via shades and patterns.
- Branching out from totally solid colors, one piece can be something relatively over-the-top; sequins or sparkles even. I've gotten compliments wearing a fairly shiny sharkskin jacket, or a double-breasted pinstripe, or even a smoking jacket.
- Accessories. Glasses, pins, buttons, scarves, watches, suspenders, belts, ties, pocket squares, maybe even hats are ways to step outside the bounds of "ordinary" men's clothing.
My personal 2 ยข as a fellow bald stocky middle-aged guy;
- Google-imaging "lumbersexual" just gets me a buncha pics of ordinary skinny good-looking guys only they've got thick beards and are wearing plaid shirts. I dunno that that helps much, and TBH a plaid shirt on a middle aged guy probably doesn't really come across as "fashionable" as much as just normal wear, or even that you wish it was still the 90's and grunge was king.
- A "rock & roll" look (I kinda can't believe I just typed that) with lots of black and leather usually works pretty well.
- Outside of flannel shirts, most ordinary checks and plaids don't tend to do us stocky guys any favors, IMO. And I wouldn't call them "fashionable" for middle-aged guys, you just look like George Costanza.
- "Skinny" pants are seriously the worst idea, you'll just look like a balloon on a string. Straight leg or a slight taper at most to your pants legs.
- Solid, "heavier" shoes with a thick sole, like Doc Martins or similar. A shoe that's too slim or delicate makes us look almost literally unbalanced, like there's nothing supporting the solidity of the rest of our bodies.
- It's All About The Fit. Really, you could probably apply almost any men's fashion advice or ideas, but your clothes have to fit right. Too tight and we look like sausages about to burst from our casings (and we feel that way, too, which is uncomfortable and makes us move funny), too loose and we look like we're wearing a deflated hot air balloon. In practice this means you should get friendly with a local place that can do alterations to what you buy off the rack, and/or be willing to spend some time searching for the handful of articles of clothing that will fit just right.
Also, how bald are you? Because if you haven't tried the full-on shaved head or "peach-fuzz" almost-shaved buzz-cut you totally should. That's the way to own your baldness.
posted by soundguy99 at 9:53 PM on April 27, 2015 [3 favorites]
Another idea would be the Angel Batista character from the Dexter TV show. He does a lot of colorful patterned shirts, and that blocky square-cut shape (not tucked in) tends to look good on us blocky guys. Similar shape but different colors & patterns in "bowling" or "work" (esp. Dickies) shirts.
posted by soundguy99 at 9:59 PM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by soundguy99 at 9:59 PM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Some googling found this blog which seems like it's got a pretty huge variety of looks that you could use for inspiration.
posted by MsMolly at 10:36 PM on April 27, 2015
posted by MsMolly at 10:36 PM on April 27, 2015
This guy also has some amazing looks that might be in your "weirdo" wheelhouse.
posted by MsMolly at 10:53 PM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by MsMolly at 10:53 PM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Not a man (nonbinary femme), but you may enjoy some of PhatPhemme's looks
posted by Juliet Banana at 7:52 AM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Juliet Banana at 7:52 AM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I dunno, you'd be hard put to notice it from the page of google image results - the look is conservative and muted - but you can't take your eyes of this guy when he's on the screen. I think it's the self-possession and the confidence, as he is in fact, plain, short, bandy-legged, bald and fat. Also much much better without any hair on his head at all.
posted by glasseyes at 3:50 PM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by glasseyes at 3:50 PM on April 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by MsMolly at 10:40 AM on April 27, 2015 [4 favorites]