Leaving My Job - How do I navigate resigning?
March 26, 2015 9:32 AM Subscribe
This is the first job I'll be leaving because it's just time for me to move on. Previously, I've left because I was moving or school was starting up again. This time, I don't have that to fall back on. I want to put in my notice tomorrow - Help!
I’m leaving a job that I’m quite good at, but a bad culture fit for the company. I’m on extremely good terms with everyone here, and no one is aware of how unhappy I am. It will be quite a shock. The last year has been rocky for me in my personal life and health wise. Between anxiety, PTSD and an existing heart condition, this stressful job is just too much to take anymore. I basically have all the questions EVER about how to proceed, any advice is much appreciated.
I plan on putting in my two weeks notice tomorrow. What should the letter say? I’d like to stay on good terms with everyone here. My boss and I both start work at 7am before anyone else gets in (including her boss). Should I sit down and give her my letter in person during that time period? Should I wait until the afternoon? (We both leave at 3.) What should I be prepared for? How should I let coworkers know – or not?
This is a company with extremely low turnover, so I have no idea what usually happens when people quit. I’m prepared for them to say “This is your last day”, but realistically given my job duties they’re very unlikely to do that. How many months of pay stubs should I keep?
I’m leaving a job that I’m quite good at, but a bad culture fit for the company. I’m on extremely good terms with everyone here, and no one is aware of how unhappy I am. It will be quite a shock. The last year has been rocky for me in my personal life and health wise. Between anxiety, PTSD and an existing heart condition, this stressful job is just too much to take anymore. I basically have all the questions EVER about how to proceed, any advice is much appreciated.
I plan on putting in my two weeks notice tomorrow. What should the letter say? I’d like to stay on good terms with everyone here. My boss and I both start work at 7am before anyone else gets in (including her boss). Should I sit down and give her my letter in person during that time period? Should I wait until the afternoon? (We both leave at 3.) What should I be prepared for? How should I let coworkers know – or not?
This is a company with extremely low turnover, so I have no idea what usually happens when people quit. I’m prepared for them to say “This is your last day”, but realistically given my job duties they’re very unlikely to do that. How many months of pay stubs should I keep?
You don't need to give a specific reason for leaving, especially not in your letter. It's just not their business. Still, people will ask and it is best to have something to say, even if it not the bold-faced truth. I'd also say you should tell your boss right away and speak with her about how to announce it. She must be the first person you tell so it does not turn into a rumor.
posted by soelo at 9:39 AM on March 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by soelo at 9:39 AM on March 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
When I have not wanted to give the real reason I'm leaving, I have said that whatever I am leaving to do is a really great opportunity that I'm looking forward to.
posted by mchorn at 9:44 AM on March 26, 2015
posted by mchorn at 9:44 AM on March 26, 2015
Agreed with something something that you don't want to give anything concrete in the letter other than the date that you're resigning. Feel free to fill it with fluffy feel-good nothings ("I'm grateful for the experience that Company has granted me", "I've enjoyed working with Team", etc). Turn it in to your boss whenever you're comfortable with it, but give yourself some time to talk to him/her about transitioning out, training others to do your job, having your coworkers slowly take over your responsibilities, etc.
After that, you can send out an email blast to your coworkers if you'd like, saying the same polite nothings ("It's been wonderful to work with you all, and if you need to reach me in the future my email is [email]", if you're comfortable with that). You can skip this step, but they're going to find out you're leaving eventually, so you might as well control the message. Be prepared for questions about what your new job is, why you're quitting, etc. Come up with some acceptable responses about looking for new opportunities or whatever you need that's NOT saying anything bad about the company or employees.
posted by specialagentwebb at 9:45 AM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
After that, you can send out an email blast to your coworkers if you'd like, saying the same polite nothings ("It's been wonderful to work with you all, and if you need to reach me in the future my email is [email]", if you're comfortable with that). You can skip this step, but they're going to find out you're leaving eventually, so you might as well control the message. Be prepared for questions about what your new job is, why you're quitting, etc. Come up with some acceptable responses about looking for new opportunities or whatever you need that's NOT saying anything bad about the company or employees.
posted by specialagentwebb at 9:45 AM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Re the email blast to coworkers, just wanted to underscore the step to do that *after* talking to your boss and coordinating on your transition plan. They might want to control when and how the team hears, depending on your role and how big a deal turnover is for the company. If you are leaving there also might be people interested in your job responsibilities or projects, and this gives your boss a chance to handle that as he/she wishes. I don't see a reason not to tell coworkers on your boss' schedule, unless he/she gets really weird and doesn't want anyone to find out before your last day.
We just had a lot of turnover in my group, and people who handled this kind of thing weirdly made life unpleasant for all. Don't be that person.
posted by handful of rain at 10:01 AM on March 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
We just had a lot of turnover in my group, and people who handled this kind of thing weirdly made life unpleasant for all. Don't be that person.
posted by handful of rain at 10:01 AM on March 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
I’m prepared for them to say “This is your last day"
Do you have all of your personal effects out of the office? Quietly pack those up at closing time (without calling any attention to yourself) and take them home tonight if you haven't. Don't forget your coffee mug in the kitchen and anything in the fridge.
Clean any personal files off of your computer and company network.
Change all passwords to something benign and unrelated to any of your personal off-work passwords.
Your last paycheck will be sent or deposited to you at some point in time, check your state's labor laws on when that should happen at the latest.
Don't forget insurance and COBRA. Get that from H/R as soon as possible so you can hit the open market if you want a better option.
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:10 AM on March 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
Do you have all of your personal effects out of the office? Quietly pack those up at closing time (without calling any attention to yourself) and take them home tonight if you haven't. Don't forget your coffee mug in the kitchen and anything in the fridge.
Clean any personal files off of your computer and company network.
Change all passwords to something benign and unrelated to any of your personal off-work passwords.
Your last paycheck will be sent or deposited to you at some point in time, check your state's labor laws on when that should happen at the latest.
Don't forget insurance and COBRA. Get that from H/R as soon as possible so you can hit the open market if you want a better option.
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:10 AM on March 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
Whenever I have resigned from a job, I've spoken to my supervisor first and then sent them an official resignation note, including date, etc., over email. It's good to think of a way to respond to coworkers after they find out, even if you just plan to say you want to take some time to think about your next transition.
I know you didn't ask about whether you should leave, but do you have a long-term plan financially? You may find job-hunting, or the worry of being unemployed, more stressful than your current job, and whatever you'd like to do next, it will almost certainly be easier to get that job while you still have one. If you do want to keep working (rather than being on disability or something) I would strongly encourage you to reconsider finding that job while you continue with this one temporarily. Or, even take vacation time now if you have some, and look for your next, less stressful job while you're on the break.
posted by three_red_balloons at 10:17 AM on March 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
I know you didn't ask about whether you should leave, but do you have a long-term plan financially? You may find job-hunting, or the worry of being unemployed, more stressful than your current job, and whatever you'd like to do next, it will almost certainly be easier to get that job while you still have one. If you do want to keep working (rather than being on disability or something) I would strongly encourage you to reconsider finding that job while you continue with this one temporarily. Or, even take vacation time now if you have some, and look for your next, less stressful job while you're on the break.
posted by three_red_balloons at 10:17 AM on March 26, 2015 [2 favorites]
Whenever I have resigned from a job, I've spoken to my supervisor first and then sent them an official resignation note, including date, etc., over email.
This is also what I do whenever feasible. I mean, sometimes you can't - I once spent most of a week that I'd intended to be part of my two weeks' notice just trying to get my extremely busy manager cornered for a second - but if things are generally okay it's kind and fair to sit that person down and say hey, I'm moving on, here's my list of stuff that needs to be transitioned, thanks for everything, let's meet again this afternoon or tomorrow once you've had a chance to digest and we'll put together the transition plan.
It will be quite a shock.
Eh, you're not terminally ill. That's a shock. Leaving is maybe a little sad, but mostly just inconvenient. Don't set this up as anybody's heartbreak - they'd can you in a second if you didn't make them money somehow, or found someone who could do it better than you.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:27 AM on March 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
This is also what I do whenever feasible. I mean, sometimes you can't - I once spent most of a week that I'd intended to be part of my two weeks' notice just trying to get my extremely busy manager cornered for a second - but if things are generally okay it's kind and fair to sit that person down and say hey, I'm moving on, here's my list of stuff that needs to be transitioned, thanks for everything, let's meet again this afternoon or tomorrow once you've had a chance to digest and we'll put together the transition plan.
It will be quite a shock.
Eh, you're not terminally ill. That's a shock. Leaving is maybe a little sad, but mostly just inconvenient. Don't set this up as anybody's heartbreak - they'd can you in a second if you didn't make them money somehow, or found someone who could do it better than you.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:27 AM on March 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
Best answer: "Pursing other opportunities" is a wonderful catch-all reason for leaving a company. Never leave on bad terms, and especially don't let them know you have negative feelings in your resignation.
posted by xingcat at 10:37 AM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by xingcat at 10:37 AM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Yes, you can just keep saying variations on "I'm just feeling like it's time for a change" or "I'm pursuing some other opportunities" and so on. If you say that in a cheery way and also keep emphasizing how much you've enjoyed your time there, learned a lot, it's been a good experience, etc., people will take this fine. People move on, it won't be the end of the world for them even if it's unusual at this company.
posted by aka burlap at 10:44 AM on March 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by aka burlap at 10:44 AM on March 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
First, be prepared for the response not to be one of shock. Second, you can create your simple resignation letter and then bring it to your boss in the morning by breaking the news to them in whatever way humanizes it for you.
posted by rhizome at 10:47 AM on March 26, 2015
posted by rhizome at 10:47 AM on March 26, 2015
Don't forget insurance and COBRA. Get that from H/R as soon as possible so you can hit the open market if you want a better option.
No no no - I was in a situation nearly identical to yours, Bottlecap, and you cannot just "hit the open market" unless you meet specific qualifying circumstances. Voluntarily leaving a job because you are stressed is not one of them. I found this out about a week before I was going to give notice and boy did it freak me out. COBRA for me was about $450, maybe in the $500s, and it was not something I could afford.
Unless you have a job coming down the chute pretty soon you need to budget to pay COBRA. You may qualify for your state's coverage? That I didn't look into because I have what my current BCBS plan calls "enhanced behavioral healthcare needs," and I knew the state didn't cover that. If you see doctors frequently for what you have going on, that's going to be expensive.
My solution: They asked me if I wanted to do some contract work for them and kept me on their payroll so that it showed up as "reduced hours," which is a qualifying event to let you purchase an individual plan outside of the open enrollment period. I'm in law school part-time and was working full time, so I had access to the school's insurance plan which had a single page of doctors in network and I wanted to keep my psychiatrist and therapist, so that was a big deal to me. I don't know if this is an option you have or want, I'm just telling you how I solved my quandary. (And ftr, staying on payroll is a bad example of quitting.)
I second three_red_balloons twice: the first is that I took a month off of work without pay about prior to giving notice (that with regard to student loans/affording unemployment while I finished school). During that month I had time to sort out what was wrong in my life; for me, it was the job. So if you aren't sure or want to test the waters, take a brief leave. As for giving notice, yep, since you seem to get along with your boss don't lead with the letter of resignation. Sit down and have a conversation and then do the letter later. They will be a lot more receptive to you if you aren't cold about it.
posted by good lorneing at 11:06 AM on March 26, 2015
No no no - I was in a situation nearly identical to yours, Bottlecap, and you cannot just "hit the open market" unless you meet specific qualifying circumstances. Voluntarily leaving a job because you are stressed is not one of them. I found this out about a week before I was going to give notice and boy did it freak me out. COBRA for me was about $450, maybe in the $500s, and it was not something I could afford.
Unless you have a job coming down the chute pretty soon you need to budget to pay COBRA. You may qualify for your state's coverage? That I didn't look into because I have what my current BCBS plan calls "enhanced behavioral healthcare needs," and I knew the state didn't cover that. If you see doctors frequently for what you have going on, that's going to be expensive.
My solution: They asked me if I wanted to do some contract work for them and kept me on their payroll so that it showed up as "reduced hours," which is a qualifying event to let you purchase an individual plan outside of the open enrollment period. I'm in law school part-time and was working full time, so I had access to the school's insurance plan which had a single page of doctors in network and I wanted to keep my psychiatrist and therapist, so that was a big deal to me. I don't know if this is an option you have or want, I'm just telling you how I solved my quandary. (And ftr, staying on payroll is a bad example of quitting.)
I second three_red_balloons twice: the first is that I took a month off of work without pay about prior to giving notice (that with regard to student loans/affording unemployment while I finished school). During that month I had time to sort out what was wrong in my life; for me, it was the job. So if you aren't sure or want to test the waters, take a brief leave. As for giving notice, yep, since you seem to get along with your boss don't lead with the letter of resignation. Sit down and have a conversation and then do the letter later. They will be a lot more receptive to you if you aren't cold about it.
posted by good lorneing at 11:06 AM on March 26, 2015
It will be quite a shock
Just nthing, (as it might make you a bit less stressed about it), that it's unlikely to be the big shock you think. This happens in the workplace all the time, even if it hasn't happened in your workplace recently.
My personal experience of giving notice and telling colleagues has generally been underwhelming - almost disappointingly so! There's about five minutes of intense interest in what you're doing next, followed immediately by everyone else going back to whatever they were doing before, which, after all, is not changing.
Despite the amount of time we spend with our colleagues, most of us are not much more than bit parts in each others' working lives.
posted by penguin pie at 12:01 PM on March 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
Just nthing, (as it might make you a bit less stressed about it), that it's unlikely to be the big shock you think. This happens in the workplace all the time, even if it hasn't happened in your workplace recently.
My personal experience of giving notice and telling colleagues has generally been underwhelming - almost disappointingly so! There's about five minutes of intense interest in what you're doing next, followed immediately by everyone else going back to whatever they were doing before, which, after all, is not changing.
Despite the amount of time we spend with our colleagues, most of us are not much more than bit parts in each others' working lives.
posted by penguin pie at 12:01 PM on March 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Given the way you describe your workplace, I actually would advise against showing up in your boss's office first thing in the morning with a physical letter of recommendation. Have the conversation whenever you want to, but drop off the letter afterwards (by email or wherever).
Keep in mind that your main goal in the conversation with your supervisor is to A) convey that you are leaving and decide on a last day, and B) stay on good enough terms that your supervisor will be glad to serve as a positive reference at some later date. I'm not clear on whether you're leaving for another job or just leaving, but either way, somewhere down the road you might want this person to say nice things about you to a future hiring manager.
posted by kythuen at 12:11 PM on March 26, 2015
Keep in mind that your main goal in the conversation with your supervisor is to A) convey that you are leaving and decide on a last day, and B) stay on good enough terms that your supervisor will be glad to serve as a positive reference at some later date. I'm not clear on whether you're leaving for another job or just leaving, but either way, somewhere down the road you might want this person to say nice things about you to a future hiring manager.
posted by kythuen at 12:11 PM on March 26, 2015
Best answer: you cannot just "hit the open market" unless you meet specific qualifying circumstances. Voluntarily leaving a job because you are stressed is not one of them
That's absolutely not true. I quit my job for no reason literally a week ago on March 13 and was eligible to get a new plan on the marketplace, which I have done. Leaving a job voluntarily is 'a qualifying life event', as the jargon goes. It is possible that you or your informant was confused because voluntarily ending insurance coverage as a standalone (eg: cancelling your enrolment in a marketplace plan) is not a qualifying life event.
From healthcare.gov: If you leave your job for any reason and lose your job-based coverage, you can choose to buy coverage from the Marketplace.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 12:39 PM on March 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
That's absolutely not true. I quit my job for no reason literally a week ago on March 13 and was eligible to get a new plan on the marketplace, which I have done. Leaving a job voluntarily is 'a qualifying life event', as the jargon goes. It is possible that you or your informant was confused because voluntarily ending insurance coverage as a standalone (eg: cancelling your enrolment in a marketplace plan) is not a qualifying life event.
From healthcare.gov: If you leave your job for any reason and lose your job-based coverage, you can choose to buy coverage from the Marketplace.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 12:39 PM on March 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
Seconding the agents of KAOS re: insurance. This is something I researched carefully before putting in my notice at my current job. Quitting is a qualifying life event and you can then get an insurance plan through the marketplace.
(Sorry if this is a derail from your original question, OP. I just didn't want to let incorrect information stand.)
posted by MsMolly at 12:52 PM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Sorry if this is a derail from your original question, OP. I just didn't want to let incorrect information stand.)
posted by MsMolly at 12:52 PM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Ah, good to know. I did not go through the marketplace - and this was a year ago so things may have changed? I went direct through BCBS which says and said then, "Loss of coverage* If loss is not voluntary or because of nonpayment or fraud," and I even called to check and they said quitting was not a qualifying reason. I checked Medica today before I posted too, and they had a similar message.
(Oh! I remember. I checked prices for the marketplace and BCBS direct, and the same plan was $40 cheaper/month direct from BCBS. I didn't think to check there again when I ran into the qualifying event stuff.)
So it's not incorrect, it's another side of the coin.
posted by good lorneing at 1:00 PM on March 26, 2015
(Oh! I remember. I checked prices for the marketplace and BCBS direct, and the same plan was $40 cheaper/month direct from BCBS. I didn't think to check there again when I ran into the qualifying event stuff.)
So it's not incorrect, it's another side of the coin.
posted by good lorneing at 1:00 PM on March 26, 2015
Also 2 weeks notice is generally considered a minimum, your higher ups may want to negotiate with you to stay on for longer to allow them more time to find/train a replacement and you should know whether you are willing to do that.
posted by edbles at 1:14 PM on March 26, 2015
posted by edbles at 1:14 PM on March 26, 2015
They will probably ask, or at least talk about it in a way where it's awkward for you need to give a reason. Don't say you're unhappy, unless you think it's something they can and would fix for you so you'd stay. I would say you are leaving to focus on some other stuff in your life, or because you have other career opportunities. With the latter, they will ask about it though -- "oh, did you find a new job? Oh, where are you looking?" So, I wouldn't say this unless you really are looking for another career path. You can give any vague reason you want. "I need more time to focus on my passion for writing/my band/painting/studying Russian/whatever." It doesn't really matter. You just need a reason that doesn't subtly say "Fuck you guys, I hate this shitty place."
If you're on good terms with the boss, I would talk to him/her about it. Personally, I would probably send the email the night before or in the morning, and then pop in to chat and say you formally emailed a letter of resignation, but you wanted to just let him/her know in person you'll be leaving your role and you'll be happy to work with the team to tie up any loose ends before you go. Say you'll miss everyone and it was a hard decision because you've learned so much and enjoyed your time there, but you weighed it carefully and think it's best.
posted by AppleTurnover at 4:42 PM on March 26, 2015
If you're on good terms with the boss, I would talk to him/her about it. Personally, I would probably send the email the night before or in the morning, and then pop in to chat and say you formally emailed a letter of resignation, but you wanted to just let him/her know in person you'll be leaving your role and you'll be happy to work with the team to tie up any loose ends before you go. Say you'll miss everyone and it was a hard decision because you've learned so much and enjoyed your time there, but you weighed it carefully and think it's best.
posted by AppleTurnover at 4:42 PM on March 26, 2015
Best answer: I was in a similar position a little over a year ago. I completely blindsided my boss at a very small company, and it was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I was very, very good at my job, always acted happy and enthusiastic, had my hand in a lot of small office politics pots (not quite willingly), but the office culture was soul destroying. My boss was absolutely floored, stared at me in speechless shock for many long weird moments, and it took about five full minutes of talking for her to accept that I wasn't fucking with her, and I still don't think she believed I was really leaving until I had my corner office cleaned out and I was walking out the door for the last time. I mean, it happens, despite what everyone else says. It's rare, but it happens. Prepare for the worst, expect the best. I got through that very awkward notice discussion by reiterating how generically excited I was for a new opportunity, smiling cheerfully and playing dumb when my boss got pissy about why I would leave "such a prestigious job for [my current employer]" and just absolutely refused to get into any deeper details than that, like things I was unhappy about. My letter was in line with the scripts already provided in this thread.
Do it early, but not first thing. Do not wait until anywhere near the end of the day. (Another employee who blindsided my boss ran after her at the end of the day and gave notice in the parking lot, because our boss left early that day. Don't be that person.) If you go for the "hey, boss, is there a good time we could have a private conversation?" route, plan to be ready to do it right then. Keep the letter short and factual, and I recommend handing it to your boss in person. Stick to your guns when you deliver the letter. Let your boss announce it to your co-workers; I only sent a "great to work here, thanks for everything, miss you and good luck" e-mail on my very last day (after 30 days notice). Be prepared to be escorted out of the building as soon as you give notice; it might be unlikely, but it happens.
Leaving jobs happen. Everyone does it. It doesn't have to be a big deal, so do everything you can to not make it a big deal.
posted by coast99 at 11:36 PM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Do it early, but not first thing. Do not wait until anywhere near the end of the day. (Another employee who blindsided my boss ran after her at the end of the day and gave notice in the parking lot, because our boss left early that day. Don't be that person.) If you go for the "hey, boss, is there a good time we could have a private conversation?" route, plan to be ready to do it right then. Keep the letter short and factual, and I recommend handing it to your boss in person. Stick to your guns when you deliver the letter. Let your boss announce it to your co-workers; I only sent a "great to work here, thanks for everything, miss you and good luck" e-mail on my very last day (after 30 days notice). Be prepared to be escorted out of the building as soon as you give notice; it might be unlikely, but it happens.
Leaving jobs happen. Everyone does it. It doesn't have to be a big deal, so do everything you can to not make it a big deal.
posted by coast99 at 11:36 PM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
What you said here is perfectly acceptable. "Not an ideal culture fit." You don't have to justify it beyond that. As mentioned above, write a letter stating the date of your resignation and the day that will be your last day, print it out and hand it to your supervisor. If this is a cranky place, they might escort you out of the building but don't take it as an insult. That may just be their policy.
posted by deathpanels at 3:15 AM on March 27, 2015
posted by deathpanels at 3:15 AM on March 27, 2015
Response by poster: Well, it was indeed quite a shock. Flustered my completely unflappable manager, elicited one actual jaw drop, and near tears from another co-worker. All in all, it went fine. Meeting with manager first, and then an official notice in writing to her and HR. On her advice, let coworkers know at a meeting an hour later (the meeting was already called for another purpose), and the notice to other departments will go out today. (There's no trouble with insurance or the other considerations noted by some of the answers. Didn't ask about it because it's already handled.)
I used the short script from the first answer, but elaborated the gratitude piece a bit.
posted by Bottlecap at 6:54 AM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
I used the short script from the first answer, but elaborated the gratitude piece a bit.
posted by Bottlecap at 6:54 AM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I will be resigning effective ___. This letter serves as my 2-week notice. Thank you very much for the opportunity and the experiences I have gained here.
Best,
Bottlecap
I would personally do it as early in the day as possible, because you will feel about six thousand times better once it's done.
Leave it up to your boss as to how she wants to notify the rest of your team.
posted by something something at 9:36 AM on March 26, 2015 [19 favorites]