Let's talk about my boners.

March 15, 2015 9:44 PM

I recently gave up drinking and lost a bunch of weight (though I am still heavy). My blood pressure went from hypertensive (144/95) to normal (120/81). All of this is good news. But over the last few weeks, in addition to my health looking up... um, something else is looking up.

Basically, I get erections... like four or five a day, unbidden. It's like being fourteen again. I get several a day at mostly random times and usually one really and truly insistent one in the middle of the night.

I'm not on meds, FWIW. And I never had any erectile dysfunction even at my heaviest. These aren't painful. They do go away.

Googling this is fruitless as results for "blood pressure" and "erections" give reams of information for gentlemen experiencing the exact opposite situation.

These are not your boners. You are not my doctor. But given that these aren't problematic, exactly, just weird, is this something I can dismiss as just a temporary blip related to my improving health? Or should I consider this a symptom to be investigated?

posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (9 answers total)

This might help?

Odd Penis Behavior
posted by mermaidcafe at 9:58 PM on March 15, 2015

When dealing with erectile dysfunction, some of the first things a doctor will tell you are to cut back on drinking and to get more exercise. You weren't dysfunctional, but it still stands to reason that taking these two steps might have a pro-boner effect.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 11:30 PM on March 15, 2015 [4 favorites]

First of all, high five!

Second, I am a healthy 36 year old man and would say my uhhh results are no different than your own. Anecdata, sure, but I don't think there is anything wrong with us.

If it bothers you, do what I do, masturbate frantically. Not on the bus though, because that is really uncool, dude.
posted by Literaryhero at 11:57 PM on March 15, 2015 [22 favorites]

it's not weird. It's normal.

it's that you didn't quite have them enough before that's abnormal. :)

Nothing wrong with jacking off. Go buy a Fleshlight. :D
posted by kschang at 11:58 PM on March 15, 2015 [5 favorites]

This is also normal for me, for what it's worth. It can be annoying, but the only way to make them go away is to distract yourself or masturbate. Choose wisely.
posted by blackzinfandel at 12:51 AM on March 16, 2015 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: If it bothers you, do what I do, masturbate frantically.

Yeah, I'm 28 and have noticed similar issues lately because of similar tactics.
I think it's nice, if you find it really troublesome, you could always
posted by ThrowbackDave at 3:20 AM on March 16, 2015 [4 favorites]

See a therapist has been on the throne for too long. Masturbate frantically needs to be the new most common advice. I'm going to advice that to the person that locked themself out of their bedroom.

For the time being I'm still the owner of a penis with testosterone in my system. Four or five erections a day is normal at a certain age. Go have some fun with them.

And congratulations on your weight loss!
posted by Promethea at 5:47 AM on March 16, 2015 [24 favorites]

It happens. Long story short: when you're drinking, your body begins to consider this stasis, and adjusts levels of hormones/neurotransmitters accordingly. Removing the alcohol from the situation takes the thumb of the scale, so to speak, resulting in pretty dramatic and drastic changes in mood and other issues. It will level out in a couple of months, if things stay the same. In the meantime, don't worry yourself.
posted by Gilbert at 9:17 AM on March 16, 2015

This is a well-known phenomenon for guys who get off opioids - though they tend not to have to ask why really because they tend to be well aware of having lost their sex drive while on. I don't know how much this is really about drinking versus general health improvements but I have heard some somewhat similar things about alcohol.
posted by atoxyl at 12:38 PM on March 16, 2015