Wig Alternatives for Women with Hair Loss
March 10, 2015 11:13 PM Subscribe
What are some options for comfortable, lightweight, pretty head coverings for a woman with hair loss?
I have a dear friend who does not have the ability to grow her own long hair. She often wears a wig, but I know it causes her no end of discomfort and self-consciousness, and that she often wishes she could skip it without being misgendered or feeling badly about her appearance.
I would love to start collecting turbans, headscarves, cute hats, anything that would signal “I’m a cute femme!” while being less scratchy and hot than a wig. This would not be a loaded present – “look, I solved your extremely delicate problem for you!” – but just little gifties thrown into a care package with other items, cute socks and candy and stuff. I just want to give her options, which obviously she can choose not to use.
I’d prefer to avoid options that signal “I’m a member of a specific religious group” or “I am undergoing cancer treatment,” neither of which is true in her case. She lives in a very warm climate. The more coverage, the better; tiny little novelty hatlettes would not work.
Is there something like a knit cap with little pigtails sewn into it? Could I make such a thing?
I have a dear friend who does not have the ability to grow her own long hair. She often wears a wig, but I know it causes her no end of discomfort and self-consciousness, and that she often wishes she could skip it without being misgendered or feeling badly about her appearance.
I would love to start collecting turbans, headscarves, cute hats, anything that would signal “I’m a cute femme!” while being less scratchy and hot than a wig. This would not be a loaded present – “look, I solved your extremely delicate problem for you!” – but just little gifties thrown into a care package with other items, cute socks and candy and stuff. I just want to give her options, which obviously she can choose not to use.
I’d prefer to avoid options that signal “I’m a member of a specific religious group” or “I am undergoing cancer treatment,” neither of which is true in her case. She lives in a very warm climate. The more coverage, the better; tiny little novelty hatlettes would not work.
Is there something like a knit cap with little pigtails sewn into it? Could I make such a thing?
The only thing I can think of that might be appreciated and might not be seen as offensive or presumptuous would maybe be a really pretty scarf. Like, the big beautiful patterned kind that women who are more talented than I am somehow fold in mysterious ways to gracefully, effortlessly drape around their faces. But as you can see from all of the qualifiers I included, I think this could be an easily misinterpreted (allbeit well-intentioned) gift.
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:19 AM on March 11, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Weeping_angel at 2:19 AM on March 11, 2015 [2 favorites]
I've been lusting after these head wraps from Wrapunzel, and they clearly state in their FAQ that anyone of any faith can wear them.
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:54 AM on March 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:54 AM on March 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Some people do like quirky knit hats with fake pigtails. You can find a lot of these on Etsy for example this one with pigtails or this Princess Leia hat. Or this Princess Anna hat. I trust that your friend would not feel obligated to wear something like this all of the time because they are obviously kind of silly and casual.
posted by steinwald at 7:49 AM on March 11, 2015
posted by steinwald at 7:49 AM on March 11, 2015
My MIL has been through several years of emotional hell with major hair loss, and tried the cute hate/scarf/turban route and ended up with everyone she met thinking she was undergoing chemo.
The thing that helped my MIL the most have been, complimenting her on how her hair looks, not on how her wig looks, I like what you did with your hair etc.
Just be aware the whole wig thing is probably a bigger emotional minefield for your friend than you realize, unless she has directly told you these things about her wigs & is looking to you for an answer, the kindest thing you can do for your friend is to forget she's wearing a wig, as this has the chance to backfire terribly. My MIL loves to joke, bitch and talk with friends about the wig, to try & deflect any comments she might she fears might come her way. I'm the one that sees her in tears crying because of some passing comment these same people said. She knows she is wearing a wig she doesn't need reminding.
If you have to get something I'd really suggest a pretty scarf that can be worn more ways than just on her head.
posted by wwax at 9:08 AM on March 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
The thing that helped my MIL the most have been, complimenting her on how her hair looks, not on how her wig looks, I like what you did with your hair etc.
Just be aware the whole wig thing is probably a bigger emotional minefield for your friend than you realize, unless she has directly told you these things about her wigs & is looking to you for an answer, the kindest thing you can do for your friend is to forget she's wearing a wig, as this has the chance to backfire terribly. My MIL loves to joke, bitch and talk with friends about the wig, to try & deflect any comments she might she fears might come her way. I'm the one that sees her in tears crying because of some passing comment these same people said. She knows she is wearing a wig she doesn't need reminding.
If you have to get something I'd really suggest a pretty scarf that can be worn more ways than just on her head.
posted by wwax at 9:08 AM on March 11, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh are the pigtails supposed to be yarn? My mistake. I thought you were thinking about artificial hair pigtails attached to a hat, like this.
posted by carmicha at 10:21 AM on March 11, 2015
posted by carmicha at 10:21 AM on March 11, 2015
Those knit caps would get terribly hot.
posted by serena15221 at 11:48 AM on March 11, 2015
posted by serena15221 at 11:48 AM on March 11, 2015
I often wear a crochet headband--it's a very open pattern and is more akin to a Rosie the Riveter keep-your-hair-under-control headband than a heavy knit keep-your-ears-warm headband. Like this random picture or this one on Etsy. If your friend is trying to hide thinning hair, maybe a wider headband like that would be something she would prefer to a wig. I really can't tell from your question how much hair loss your friend has--whether she still has a full head of very thin hair or not. But the wide crochet headbands are definitely girlie and if you get one that is not made of chunky wool, they're not hot at all.
But like wwax, I think smaller, lightweight skinny, scarves that can be worn on the head, or around the neck, or as belts would be a good choice.
If your friend likes hats, summerweight cloches can be cute: straw, linen, or paper straw.
posted by crush-onastick at 4:44 PM on March 11, 2015
But like wwax, I think smaller, lightweight skinny, scarves that can be worn on the head, or around the neck, or as belts would be a good choice.
If your friend likes hats, summerweight cloches can be cute: straw, linen, or paper straw.
posted by crush-onastick at 4:44 PM on March 11, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
PS A "knit cap with little pigtails sewn into it" will accomplish what you wish to avoid: it's a loaded present that screams "You're unacceptable to me the way you are! Let me draw attention to your head suit and make you choose between offending me by rejecting my generous gift or looking like a demented 12-year old." No.
posted by carmicha at 12:56 AM on March 11, 2015 [5 favorites]