Help me find a wedding dress!

March 8, 2015 8:14 AM

I'm wondering if the hivemind can help me find the perfect wedding dress. I'm getting married (YAY!) and my online searching hasn't come up with many options that I think would work for my particular needs. Can you help?

This is our first marriage, so I want the event to be special, but at the same time, my fiance and I are middle-aged and aren't really hey-everybody-look-at-me types, so the typical dresses I'm finding online don't quite work. I'm looking for something that is hard to describe: a dress that looks like a wedding dress, but yet...not.

This is the only dress I've found that comes close to what I want. But isn't available in my size right now, and I don't know when or if it ever will be. :(

Here are my deets:

I'm 47
Size 14/16
5' 1" and curvy pear-shaped
Pale skin
I prefer tea length to full length
I am not married to white (see what I did there?) and would consider, say, pale pink or blue
I'd rather not wear strapless (I want to be comfortable and don't want to worry about a wardrobe malfunction on my wedding day, amongst other reasons)
Definitely don't feel the need to spend major dollars--under $200 would be ideal--but I can be persuaded to spend more

Also, in case it matters:
I'm not planning a church wedding, but the venue has not been determined yet
Will likely be in August or September this year

I realize I'll probably just have to just break down and try some dresses on (assuming bridal stores carry my size!?) but I'd love to get some suggestions before heading out into the scary world of dress shopping. Thanks!

posted by BeBoth to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (23 answers total)

Best answer: Trashy Diva Clothing carries this dress as well. Looks like only size 2 and 4 are carried in the short version, but you could contact them about sourcing other sizes.

HOWEVER- if you spring for the long version, size 14 is available. You could stay long, or have it altered to be whatever length you want.

You might also want to just browse the site if you don't know it- lots of very cool dresses with a retro vibe.
posted by rachaelfaith at 8:22 AM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

I about your size, and also had the tea length + wear a normal bra preferences. I tried on dresses at J Crew and at a local bridal salon, and both had things I could try on (as with any salon, they will sometimes sort of clip the dress on with these clips, so you'll have to use your imagination a bit, but you can get a pretty good idea. J Crew bridesmaids dresses in particular are a good choice if you're not set on white. I would call ahead to ask about sizes, as my impression is that not all places will be as good about carrying a range of sizes as the places I went to.

You also might try purchasing a dress from Etsy...I feel like the style you linked to pretty commonly popped up my Etsy searches. But, I think it will be tough to get under $200 if you go that route.
posted by rainbowbrite at 8:22 AM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

Your description made me think of This Dress on Modcloth.
posted by bleep at 8:25 AM on March 8, 2015

Here's an almost identical dress in white, and it comes in pink, but it's not pale. That particular website is great, for $7.50 they'll customize the neckline/length/sleeves of your dress, so you can have whatever you like. I'd suggest looking at other dresses they have there.
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:25 AM on March 8, 2015

I also had a strong preference for a shorter dress, and I wish I'd realized that changing the length (especially of a simpler dress) is a pretty easy alteration. There aren't that many short wedding dresses out there, and if you consider dresses that can be altered, you'll broaden your options A LOT. (Doubly true if you prefer non-strapless, which is how I felt too, and there were like 3 dresses at David's Bridal that met both criteria.)

I ended up buying a dress from the "reception dress" (i.e. cheaper) section at BHLDN - tea-length, off-white, wide straps with a v-neck. It was totally perfect. It's a little over your budget but they have several dresses in the $200-$400 range, and they are gorgeous and well-made. I believe they go up to size 14. (I'm a 12 and did find that a lot of dresses were backordered in my size, so probably a good idea to order early if you go this route.)
posted by goodbyewaffles at 8:25 AM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

I think you're going to have better luck looking at bridesmaid dresses, which are often available in white. For instance, these guys at Nordstrom are billed as bridesmaid dresses, and they all come in white and almost-white colors.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:42 AM on March 8, 2015

Patterns by Gertie published at Butterick has that dress. Contact a local dressmaker (you can try asking at local theatre costume or college theatre costume departments). It should not be terribly expensive, but you will need to figure cost of materials as well as labor.

I almost bought my dress from Dolly Couture, which probably has what you're looking for, but since I did not, I don't know how nice the dresses are, but customer service was great. Whirling Turban might have what you're looking for--I don't know whether or not the site is reputable, however.
posted by crush-onastick at 8:53 AM on March 8, 2015

Congratulations!

I got married in a Dolly Couture dress and loved it. Really high quality for the price. They have an off the rack section with dresses on deep discount and it looks like some might work for you, although they are still slightly higher than your price range.

Nordstrom also has some lovely dresses that might fit the bill, like this, this, or this.
posted by notjustthefish at 8:58 AM on March 8, 2015

Best answer: You may also want to consider Ruche Dresses (I have a feeling this one would look particularly lovely on you).
posted by leitmotif at 9:14 AM on March 8, 2015

2nd in modcloth! There is a ton to sift through.
My wedding dress from here was around $180 and a few months later went on clearance for around $90.
posted by missriss89 at 9:32 AM on March 8, 2015

Best answer: Eshakti is another option (they'll make the dresses to your measurements).

In the vein of J.Crew (I like their dresses, but they don't seem to know how to cut them for women with breasts), you might want to take a look at Ann Taylor - they actually have some fairly nice dresses in both the wedding and bridesmaid sections.

Finally, check out BHLDN's bridesmaid and sale dresses. Something like this or this might be nice.

Congrats!
posted by leitmotif at 9:33 AM on March 8, 2015

I got my wedding dress from Kiyonna. My mom get her mother-of-the-bride dress there as well. They have a ton of cute dresses and a wedding section, though that's not where I got my dress.

Congratulations!
posted by Aquifer at 9:33 AM on March 8, 2015

Best answer: You might like the offerings at BHLDN (Anthropologie's wedding spin-off). Make sure to click on the various colors because some of them appear much more 'bridal' in blush, pink and ivory than they do in grey or black. They're more expensive but I've seen a few of them in person and they look amazing (and slightly more vintage/off-beat) than typical wedding dresses.
Waterfall Dress
Alma Dress
Emelia Dress
Barletta Dress
Ida Dress
Celia Dress
Chloe Dress
posted by barnone at 9:41 AM on March 8, 2015

I had similar parameters and found my perfect - and under $200 - wedding dress in the formal section at Macy's. I think you should start there, rather than at a bridal store, considering your budget.

Here's a search I ran for you, too many good options, in the formal category.

Here's one that comes in 16:
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:08 AM on March 8, 2015

Here's one that comes in 16: link
posted by fingersandtoes at 10:14 AM on March 8, 2015

Best answer: As rachelfaith pointed out, that dress is actually by Candice Gwinn/Trashy Diva. ModCloth is just reselling it. Which is good news--you may have more options for that particular dress than you thought!

There are two variations of this, the "Honey" and the "Honey Child" (which has less flare in the skirt) and they seem to come out with it in new colors or prints, different materials, and various levels of decoration every year. Besides the white options linked above, right now their website shows it available (in 14/16) in coral, "dragonfly," olive, bright red, various prints, and black. Past offerings have included a pretty light blue with beading, a gorgeous cobalt blue, slate grey satin, etc.

I checked on eBay and unfortunately did not find anything there from a straightforward search, but lots of people sell Trashy Diva on there. There is also a Facebook fan group called "Desperately Seeking Trashy Diva" on which people sell dresses all the time. There are also other vintage/repro resellers like Blue Velvet Vintage [which is also out of stock in your size :( ] and sites like Pin Up Girl Clothing which might carry the dress or have others if what you really love is the retro vibe. Trashy Diva has a list of resellers (including online resellers) which carry their products.

Oh my gosh! This is super pretty, is just under your budget, and it looks like it's available in a 14! You can even get a little matching jacket. I found it from the reseller list. This is fun.

I've had really good customer service from TD and I wouldn't hesitate to contact them and see what options or suggestions they can offer you which you may not have thought of, if you still feel attached to that particular dress. Good luck and congratulations! I really hope you find something that makes you feel pretty and happy!
posted by spelunkingplato at 11:16 AM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

My friend just bought her wedding dress from Light in the Box. It was less than $200, available in any size, and could be customised by colour: it was a prom dress and the shown colour was royal blue, she got it in white. She's impressed with the work quality, especially considering the price.

There are hundreds of dresses on the site, but you can filter by length, silhouette, etc.

The site is a lot like eshaakti, but the dresses are of a heavier and more formal fabric.
posted by jb at 12:30 PM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

The dress you linked is pretty similar to my wedding dress, which I bought from this Etsy shop. They're made to order and reasonably priced - I loved mine.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:17 PM on March 8, 2015

This lovely lady made my wedding dress. She's in NZ, as I was at the time, but makes dresses for people all over the world. She can custom make something for you and while it's more than $200, it's a great price for custom made. Here's her facebook page which shows customers in their dresses which I think helps. Lots of different body types to compare with.
posted by BeeJiddy at 2:22 PM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Seriously, everyone: THANK YOU!

I am feeling much more hopeful about the process. I would love to hear more suggestions, so please keep them coming. Never heard of of half of these sources, so I really appreciate the links. I did search Etsy, but found the results too overwhelming, so I appreciate those of you pointing out speciific sellers that you know.

Can't thank you all enough!
posted by BeBoth at 3:51 PM on March 8, 2015 [2 favorites]

Here are a few from J Crew that could work:
Classy and
Chiffon

I ended up getting my dress from a consignment shop (for $40) - I loved that dress - so worth considering a little hunting.
posted by Toddles at 5:12 PM on March 8, 2015

Glad to help!

One thing that I failed to realize earlier is that the "This is super pretty" dress I linked from Catnip Reproduction Vintage Clothing is the Candice Gwinn (Trashy Diva's "fancy" line) Lena dress. If you like it, knowing that might help your search. It looks like it has a few structural differences from the Honey, besides the embellishment.

Promise I'm not a salesperson, just a fan. Here's the "bridal" page.
posted by spelunkingplato at 7:21 PM on March 8, 2015 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Update! I took rachaelfaith's advice and expanded my search to full length dresses that can be shortened. A couple of you pointed me to BHLDN, so I spent some time there, and just ordered this dress. A bit over budget, but nothing too outlandish. I was able to find a MUCH cheaper sash than the ones they sell from Etsy. I'm really hopeful that it will all come together. Thanks again!
posted by BeBoth at 6:06 PM on March 10, 2015 [4 favorites]