If you were a wallet, where would you hide?
March 3, 2015 7:46 AM   Subscribe

Hi! I lost my wallet two days ago and am hoping someone can deliver an unconventional strategy so that I can find it.

The last place I remember my wallet is in my car. So, it's probably there, right? Well, maybe. I'm pretty sure I put it in my bag, then walked two or three blocks home. I don't remember doing anything with it once I got home, but I have a hunch it ended up *not in my bag, loose somewhere. Especially as my bag is now in my apartment, but no wallet.

I live in a 1 bedroom and I swear I have looked everywhere. In the apartment, and in the car. I've checked the floor, the crevices, coat pockets, other bags. The wallet is also black and could theoretically be basically anywhere, and I just. can't. find it. No one has been in my apartment except me, so I know it's here *or* in the car. Where would you look?

posted by tooloudinhere to Grab Bag (69 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Under the couch next to the sock.
posted by 724A at 7:49 AM on March 3, 2015

Is there snow on the ground where you are? I lost a phone in a snowbank recently.
posted by tchemgrrl at 7:50 AM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

While you look, it might be worth calling your credit card companies and putting a temporary stay on charges. Once you find the wallet, you can turn them back on. Could save headaches later if the wallet is indeed lost.
posted by cubby at 7:51 AM on March 3, 2015 [5 favorites]

I have been known to find missing keys, phones, etc. in the pantry. And the fridge.
posted by cooker girl at 7:51 AM on March 3, 2015 [5 favorites]

Get a really bright light and spend some quality time under the seats. The front seats of my car have all kinds of random crevices underneath them that slim dark things (wallet, phone, liner gloves, etc) love to hide in. It took three tries to find my ipod touch once.
posted by rockindata at 7:52 AM on March 3, 2015 [22 favorites]

Inside the fitted sheet.
posted by little_dog_laughing at 7:52 AM on March 3, 2015 [3 favorites]

Pull the seat all the way forward, crank it all the way forward, and use a thin hanger to sweep between the carseat and the center console.

Put the seat all the way down and back, and repeat the sweep with the hanger.

Finally, use the hanger to sweep all the way under the seat as well (don't snag on any circuitry down there (one of my cars has a box and wires that measure the presence of occupants).

I did this with my phone yesterday. Did a visual sweep, still didn't see it. Called it from a friend's phone and it was in that crack between the seat and the center console; it had fallen partially under the new weather proof floor mat.
posted by Buttons Bellbottom at 7:52 AM on March 3, 2015 [9 favorites]

Check up and down your route home, and put up signs offering a reward.
posted by Bentobox Humperdinck at 7:53 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Is there someone else who could come help you look for it? Sometimes there's something about a different set of eyes that can make a difference.

Some other ideas:

Have you really looked in every single crevice of the car? With a flashlight, especially under the seats and in between the seats? Is it possible that the wallet fell out of the car?

Also, do you have any pets that might have hidden it somewhere?

Have you torn apart every drawer, cabinet, etc in the house? Even ridiculous places like behind the toilet in the bathroom, under the sink, in a food pantry, in the dirty laundry hamper?

I would strip your bed, take everything out from under your bend, lift up the mattress, look under any couch and chair, as well as under the cushions.

You should also check on higher up places, like on top of the fridge or high book shelfs. I always think to look down, but sometimes I forget to look up.

And I agree with cubby about putting a hold on your cards, and definitely check your bank statements to make sure there aren't any unusual charges.
posted by litera scripta manet at 7:55 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'd suggest making sure you search very thoroughly under the car seats. A couple of times in my life I've felt around under the car seats, and craned my neck to look without a flashlight, only to find the wallet there later on once I went to the trouble to wedge myself down into the footwell and look around with a flashlight. As others have said, remember that you can move the seats back and forth.
posted by XMLicious at 7:56 AM on March 3, 2015 [3 favorites]

Did you leave it at work?
posted by oceanjesse at 7:57 AM on March 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

Definitely check your online banking and make sure no one is using your cards if you haven't yet.

If it's cold where you are have you checked in any not-often worn coats and jackets?

Seconding the fridge/freezer.
posted by geegollygosh at 7:57 AM on March 3, 2015

Once I lost my phone and it turned out that it had magically slipped under the inner lining of my bag. I had turned my bag upside down and still didn't find it.
posted by tofu_crouton at 8:02 AM on March 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

Maybe also under the car...?
posted by noonday at 8:04 AM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

When I lose something, it often ends up in one of three places:

1. Somewhere obvious/in plain sight, but for some reason I just didn't look there. (I once lost a pair of glasses for an entire month before discovering they were in their case.)
2. Same as above, but underneath/behind something easily moved. For instance, my wallet will be on the coffee table where it usually is, but underneath a magazine.
3. Somewhere I deliberately placed it for safekeeping/so I'd remember where it was - and then I completely forgot that I'd done so. These are usually the most panic-inducing and hardest to find.

Anywhere you'd normally pick up another small object is a potential spot - e.g. you pick up your phone or a book and put down your wallet. I'd guess this is why wallets and phones often end up in the fridge.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:05 AM on March 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

Could it have fallen out when you got out of the car? In the snow next to the car?
posted by 724A at 8:06 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Check your coat pockets. All of them. Twice. And whatever pants/sweatshirts/other things with pockets you might have slipped it in when you were fiddling with your keys to get inside or whatever.
posted by dismas at 8:08 AM on March 3, 2015 [3 favorites]

Step 1: Pretend to be a wallet. Gravity acts upon you. Seek the lowest possible level. Don't just look on the floor -- lie down on the floor and look at things from that perspective.

Step 2: Pretend to be yourself. Walk in through the door the way you did when you got home, then repeat your usual coat-hanging, bag-dropping, etc. Notice where your hands go and where you might have put your wallet down in order to pick something else up.

Step 3: Don't just look in your bag -- literally take everything out of your bag.
posted by ostro at 8:10 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

You say it's not in your bag. have you taken absolutely everything out of your bag and turned it inside out for good measure? Could it be between something in your bag or somehow shoved into a glove?
posted by royalsong at 8:13 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Once I couldn't find my phone and I was late for a funeral so I told my daughter '$5 if you can find my phone'

She immediately left the room and came back with a pair of dowsing rods her grandma gave her. And good gravy she found the phone within 5 minutes*. So.....dowsing rod and the magical thinking of an 8 year old???

* on top of the bird cage.
posted by ian1977 at 8:15 AM on March 3, 2015 [5 favorites]

Check your coat pockets. All of them. Twice.

To amplify: Put your coat on, then thoroughly investigate the pockets. If it's hanging up or slung over a chair or whatever, you'd be surprised which direction pockets can end up pointing (i.e., away from where you're patting).
posted by Etrigan at 8:16 AM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

I hate to be a downer, but my guess is that it fell out
Just in case I'm wrong, though, do your your laundry. Also, go online and actually see what the last transactions were, in case you did something on the way home and have forgotten about it.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:16 AM on March 3, 2015 [3 favorites]

Oh, and my strategy on such things is to look everywhere I can think to look and then just stop looking. If it hasn't turned up after a couple of weeks consider it lost, but most likely at the least expected moment you'll run across it. Only once (a cordless phone handset that was gone for the last three years of those phones' lives) has the thing just not turned up once I stopped looking, and usually in a place I would never have bothered to look (that is, had I spent the two weeks searching for it instead of just leaving it alone and trusting it to turn up, it would not have been found any sooner). So once you've checked everything we suggest, just wait for it to come back to you. If it hasn't in a few weeks, then start doing the whole lost wallet routine with replacing things.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:19 AM on March 3, 2015

Where do you put your bag down when you get home? Once, after having stuck my bag on its hook, the wallet must have... fallen out somehow. It ended up in the toebox of my boyfriend's fancy shoe, which then got put away wallet-and-all. Didn't find the wallet till the next funeral.
posted by AmandaA at 8:20 AM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

Does the bag have a liner that might have a hole?
posted by cecic at 8:27 AM on March 3, 2015

Do you have any large open vessels -- umbrella stand, trash basket, etc. -- on the floor? Wallets like to hide in those.
posted by neroli at 8:28 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

A friend of mine (it wasn't me, really!) lost his wallet and finally found it in his fridge. He had taken it out of his pocket while he stared at the food deciding what to eat and absent-mindedly placed it there.
posted by nightwood at 8:36 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Don't follow an intuitive/emotional route when you search - you need to sweep methodically like a forensic team. EVERYWHERE. And don't believe the memory of having the wallet in the car. What were you doing at EVERY stage that day before realizing it was missing? It could have gone much earlier. Doubt your memories as a stranger might!
posted by Hugobaron at 8:39 AM on March 3, 2015 [3 favorites]

It's insane how deeply stuff can get shoved next to car seats. They shift when you sit in them so stuff call fall really deep while you're sitting, then you get out and they're scrunched way down. Move the car seats back and forth, use a flashlight, shove stuff around, get a friend will small limbs to poke around.
posted by Crystalinne at 8:40 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

I once threw my open bag across my passenger seat, and my wallet fell out and got wedged under the passenger seat between it and the passenger door. I didn't find it until a friend got into my car and my wallet dropped out.
posted by gladly at 8:40 AM on March 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

gladly: "my wallet fell out and got wedged under the passenger seat between it and the passenger door. I didn't find it until a friend got into my car and my wallet dropped out."

I actually switched my wallet pocket from left rear to right rear after one too many times of it falling between the car seat and the door, and then it would fall out and land under/next to the car.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:48 AM on March 3, 2015

Check all coat/jacket pockets. That's usually where I find mine. Also check the lining of any thick coats if you wore any that day as a hole in the pocket or a split in the inside seamcan lead to wallets slipping into the lining.
posted by wwax at 8:49 AM on March 3, 2015

Seconding a very careful search around, under, and especially in the crevices near the center console of your car seats (both driver and passenger side). Use a flashlight. Check every part twice.

This used to happen to me ALL. THE. TIME. Like, weekly. My solution, which won't help you now, but is worth keeping in mind for the future, was to stop buying black wallets. I now carry this wallet, and when I drop it in the car, the red is so much easier to spot. I've not misplaced my wallet since.
posted by .kobayashi. at 8:57 AM on March 3, 2015

Where do you usually go first when you come inside? I usually go to my bedroom to change, and my dresser top is covered in clothing and I usually have full laundry baskets around. I have found my keys and/or phone numerous times partially covered by clothing on top of my dresser, or slipped down the side of a stack. Once my phone must have fallen off a pile of clothes into a laundry basket and I didn't find it until I folded and put the clothes away.

Yes I have too many clothes.
posted by JenMarie at 8:59 AM on March 3, 2015

But I agree it is probably still in the car, so many dark crevices. Check there thoroughly again. Maybe around on the ground near the car.
posted by JenMarie at 8:59 AM on March 3, 2015

True story: I lost a phone in my car once. I swear I looked VERY THOROUGHLY in my car and yet, I only found it EIGHT MONTHS LATER when vacuuming under the seats.

Another true story: I once lost a wallet just in a random pile of stuff in my one bedroom apartment, and only found it after I cancelled all my cards and got new ones. Maybe now is a good time to do a VERY THOROUGH cleaning.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 9:26 AM on March 3, 2015

Best answer: Check your trash containers. (I once threw my keys away.)
posted by Carol Anne at 9:28 AM on March 3, 2015

The last place I remember my wallet is in my car... Where would you look?

In addition to the excellent car seat search suggestions above, I'd think back to any stops I'd made that day (stores? library?) and make some calls.
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:45 AM on March 3, 2015

Look under the floor mats. That is a suggestion from my son who informed me he found his wallet there several times.
posted by 724A at 9:46 AM on March 3, 2015

Lots of good ideas above...gonna throw some possibilities in based on my own experience...

Did you put it on top of the car?

Check trash containers in your apartment, especially if they are below where you leave things like your wallet (I've lost a lot of keys this way. Still haven't changed the set up...)

Did you take your wallet out of your bag that night to buy anything online? That's how mine ends up in crazy places.

Maybe call your credit card company or bank to see if anyone reported it lost but maybe they didn't have a good contact phone number for you? I work at an apartment complex, sometimes we find wallets of people who don't live here. We usually contact the bank on the debit card for them to contact their client about it.

Did you wear a top with pockets under your coat that day? Sometimes mine ends up in my fleece pockets that I've layered under another jacket.
posted by Shadow Boxer at 9:56 AM on March 3, 2015

Unconventional strategy? Put some calming music on, turn the lights down, set your alarm for 40 minutes from now and lie down for a nap. As you drift off, think about your wallet -- not in a stressed-out, where-the-hell-is-it way, but gently, quietly.

Think about the smell of your wallet.

Open it in your mind.

40 minutes later, wake up and see if your unconscious has reminded you where you left it.
posted by tivalasvegas at 10:06 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

I've lost stuff that was in my pocket when I took my keys out to open my apartment/car door. The item snagged on a key and fell to the ground without my realizing it. Is there snow where you are? It could be buried in snow. My drivers license fell under my car this way. I drove over it, pushing it deeper into the snow, and I didn't find it until the snow melted.
posted by desjardins at 10:10 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh, but I agree with everyone who said it's under the car seat. I have a brand new car and I wouldn't be surprised if there is already a menagerie of stuff under there. Car seats are stuff magnets.
posted by desjardins at 10:12 AM on March 3, 2015

Second checking trash. I lost my house keys recently. Last place I remembered seeing them was the car. Checked the car throughly several times and finally, on the third go round, checked the trash bag hanging from my gear shift - there they were.
posted by Carbolic at 10:13 AM on March 3, 2015

Check the shoes in your closet and underneath where you hang your pants. I have found more than one item in a shoe, because it fell out of my pants pocket after hanging them up.
posted by radioamy at 10:18 AM on March 3, 2015

Check the bathroom, if you used it when you got home you might have set the keys down. Look behind the toilet tank if you have one of those.
posted by mareli at 10:21 AM on March 3, 2015

I lost a wallet for some months that I found on my computer chair- specifically learning against the black piece of metal that connected the base to the back. There is a little crevasse there and the metal is the exact shape and colour of my wallet.
posted by beau jackson at 11:02 AM on March 3, 2015

The last place I remember my wallet is in my car. So, it's probably there, right? Well, maybe. I'm pretty sure I put it in my bag, then walked two or three blocks home. I don't remember doing anything with it once I got home, but I have a hunch it ended up *not in my bag, loose somewhere. Especially as my bag is now in my apartment, but no wallet.

I once lost my wallet for a week (I cancelled my cards and everything) before finding it in a weird internal compartment in my bag that was easy to see when carrying the bag normally but basically invisible when rummaging through the bag while it was on a table.

Otherwise, I'd just clean up the car and apartment super thoroughly until I found the wallet.
posted by aubilenon at 11:22 AM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

When I lose my wallet, it's because I moved it from its usual trajectory (into the house, into the bowl by the door) which usually is because I was

- buying something online that needed a credit card
- talking on the phone and had to fish it out to read off a number to someone
- getting receipts out of it for some bookkeeping reason

So it winds up being perched someplace that was not where it was supposed to be and I don't see it because it's brown and blends in. So I'd think on whether you did something a little unusual right when you walked in (bathroom also a good idea) and that might help. Also nthing checking the car like crazy in really good light. I've left my wallet in a lot of seemingly obvious places in my car that were not obvious in bad light or chilly days.
posted by jessamyn at 12:25 PM on March 3, 2015

I just spent 2 days looking for my phone and found it in the inside breast pocket of my coat (which I never, ever use).
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 12:48 PM on March 3, 2015

We just found my son's wallet in his closet on the floor next to his dresser - he usually puts it in the top dresser drawer. It was missing for a month before we found it right there in plain sight after we stopped looking for it.
posted by absences at 1:30 PM on March 3, 2015

This will sound like bonkers advice, but it's worked for me many times:
-Don't retrace your steps
-Clear your mind completely
-Let your body just FIND it. Like, imagine you are like a dowsing rod or a ouija board or something

I know. Ridiculous. But if you're subconscious mind registered the wallet's last location, you just need to let your subconscious mind guide you.

Again, I know this sounds like total bollocks... but it works for me repeatedly.

Good luck!
posted by OlivesAndTurkishCoffee at 3:19 PM on March 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

The First Rule of Misplacement in my house is to check every single pocket again, even the ones that you never put things into.
posted by puddinghead at 3:51 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

I have found my wallet under my car at least twice. They like to bounce.
posted by apricot at 3:57 PM on March 3, 2015

I find that giving up on looking specifically for something and deciding instead to clean the house/car/etc works much better. That way you aren't focused on wallet, and so don't exclude places you "know" it isn't. Plus, your house/car will be cleaner.
posted by lab.beetle at 5:27 PM on March 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Don't forget the door pockets in your car.
Did you get your wallet out to put something in it and then leave it where you were? Sometimes I'll lose my wallet on my desk because I've gotten my wallet out to put in something that I've found on my desk and forget to put it back in my purse.
For some reason I also leave things in the linen closet... phone, wallet, keys.
Sit down and close your eyes and go back over your day. People you've talked to, purchases made, bathroom trips, etc.
posted by BoscosMom at 7:41 PM on March 3, 2015

Seconding aubilenon (and lab beetle): clean your apartment and car thoroughly, without regard to places where the wallet is "likely" to be.

However, I once lost my wallet because it fell out of my pocket while I was walking a couple of blocks home; thankfully, someone had indeed found it and got in touch with me a couple of days later via my gym, because they saw my gym membership card. So maybe think about other places a theoretical helpful person going through your wallet might think to try.
posted by en forme de poire at 7:48 PM on March 3, 2015

I love the dowsing rod story. Reminds me of a book I read that starts out with a professional dowser finding her daughter's stolen instrument. But that's assuming you have dowsing rods and the knack for it. I tried them out once and got nowhere, but a friend's kid could get them to work. You could try making your own.

Speaking of super wackadoo ways to look for a wallet: horary astrology to figure out where approximately to look for it. Though so far I have yet to find an object by trying this, it supposedly indicates whether or not you're likely to find the object and in what direction it could have gone.

Oh, and I just remembered this one! Jenny Crusie's Lost Purse. In the comments below here, one poster prayed the St. Anthony prayer: "St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around. Jenny’s purse is lost and has to be found." It worked!

But honestly, sometimes if you've just looked EVERYWHERE logically, several times over, I pretty much have to give up and assume the fairies stole it. I'm still angry that I lost my flash drive at work last week, on an afternoon when I hadn't gotten up/left except to go to the bathroom (it's not there), and I am out of places to look for it.

Uh...St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around. My flash drive and tooloudinhere's wallet are lost and have to be found....
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:22 PM on March 3, 2015

Uh...St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around. My flash drive and tooloudinhere's wallet are lost and have to be found....

Step aside, people, you're doing it wrong. As the child of devout Catholics and St. Anthony devotees, the correct method for making St. Anthony look for your things requires the following steps.

1. Ask him to help you find your things. No magic rhyme required. Just ask.
2. Tell him what you're going to do for him (saintly interventions are a quid pro quo thing). Typically this would involve some sum of money.
3. Tie a knot in a cord.
4. When you've found your item, untie the knot. Hie thee to the nearest church with a statue of St. Anthony and put the agreed upon sum in charity box next to the statue.
5. If you do not find your item within some reasonable amount of time, hie thee to the nearest church with a statue of St. Anthony and put the agreed upon sum in the charity box next to the statue. Results are not guaranteed and you have to pay even if it doesn't work.

I think this would likely work especially well with a wallet because St. Anthony would know that you can't pay up without your wallet.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:29 PM on March 3, 2015 [8 favorites]

First up: Washing machine. Tucked among mail/magazines/newspapers/workstuff. And deeeeeep in the sofa cushions (pull it out completely if it's a hide-a-bed). Bathroom trash can. Recycling bin. Silverware drawer. Under/behind any computer/media/gaming gear. Near your surge surpressor and other cord forests.

More deeply: What happened during your car ride home? Did you go to a car wash, pick up food at a drive-thru, run into a store, stop for gas...? Did you open the trunk, ever? Did you have to slam on your brakes because some jerk tried to run a red? Did you open your glove compartment to rummage for quarters for a toll? You may very well remember having the wallet in the car on that day (by the way, is there a typical place where it 'lives' while in the car -- console? pocket? dash?), but it may not mean that you had the wallet in there by the END of your car journey.

Think about whether you were transporting anything unusual that day (gym bag, mail, snow brush, ferret, laptop bag, reusable shopping totes, shirts to go to the drycleaner, kitty litter, etc.). Anything that might've gotten your hands full and/or given you reason to use non-driver-seat areas of the car (and the outside world). Did you take off your jacket before or while you were driving? Is there a hat your could've tucked it into, while en route or at home?

I'd also take a look online at the last few credit/debit card transactoins around that day, as well as phone calls/texts -- they may trigger a more vivid memory. Also, when you picture yourself having the wallet in your possession the last time you remember, can you add any details to the impression -- which hand it was in, if you were wearing gloves, if you noticed it at a stoplight or while driving, if you opened it to pull out a credit card, if you were listening to a specific radio channel or your own music, etc.. Anything that might help bring the vague memory into focus.

Best of luck -- this kind of thing is yell-at-the-sky frustrating, but there's still good time and reason to be hopeful. I second the notion of having someone not-you join in the hunt. That's usually worked for me better than anything.

{Please TOTALLY give us an update, too. We've all been there, and we're all rooting for you!)
posted by argonauta at 9:17 PM on March 3, 2015

My grandmother always told me when I lost something to tie up the devil- you take a length of something you can tie in a bow, tie it around a doorknob and say "I am tying up the devil so I can find what I have lost" works about 65% of the time.
posted by momochan at 9:20 PM on March 3, 2015

Try checking under the car tires, or under the car. Move the car a little bit, even. It could be kicked under the car or wedged against a wheel.

Of course, you run the risk of running over the wallet, but at least you'd be in possession of it, even if some cards do get damaged.
posted by spinifex23 at 9:27 PM on March 3, 2015

Check in the car between the passenger seat and the door, and in the door pocket on all doors. Things find their way there even when there's no reason for them to be there.

Another possibility- did you stop to get gas somewhere? I've left things on top of the gas pump.
posted by MexicanYenta at 1:45 AM on March 4, 2015

Another idea: check your shoes / boots. I once thought, I lost a key. It turned out it had fallen out of a coat pocket / bag that I had hung up and landed in a boot. It took me weeks to find it since I wasnt wearing the boots at that time of the year...

Good luck!
posted by Fallbala at 2:26 AM on March 4, 2015

Don't know if it's been mentioned, but check for holes in the lining of your coat pockets and purse or bag. I've lost my keys through a hole in my pocket into the interior of my coat. Panic-inducing few minutes there.
posted by catatethebird at 12:50 PM on March 4, 2015

I'm sorry to say this, but you may have accidentally put it ON your bag before walking two or three blocks home.
I'd check the sidewalk and curb, also under other cars. Hopefully you will have better luck than me.
posted by Promethea at 2:00 PM on March 4, 2015

Seconding MexicanYenta about door pockets. Just this week I lost an avocado that I'd put on the front passenger seat of my car. When I got home, it wasn't there (or on the floor, etc.). It turned up in the front passenger door pocket. It must have rolled up the side of the seat on a left turn and bounced in there. I have no idea why I even thought to look in there.
posted by Joleta at 6:10 PM on March 4, 2015

Response by poster: No good news to report, unfortunately -- I don't think this wallet wants to be found. Thank you all for the advice, I tried most of it, just no luck this time :( Time to go cancel some cards.

Just watch, I'll probably find it in an hour.
posted by tooloudinhere at 7:40 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

posted by tilde at 10:53 AM on March 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

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