Could I have got to the age of 30 with undiagnosed ADHD?

January 17, 2015 2:25 PM

The more I hear or read about the symptoms of ADD/ADHD the more I wonder if it could explain some of my personality traits. Does it sound like it could be, and is there any value in getting it professionally assessed? 'Symptoms' under the cut..

I'm a 30 yo woman, living with my partner, with diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder, on 20mg of citalopram a day. I have a history of bad episodes of obsessive anxiety, but haven't had one of these for about 4 years. I work in a non-profit job that is very emotionally involving for a cause I am passionate about and find it hard to 'swtich off'.

I've always done well academically (I have a Masters degree) and never got in trouble at school. I wouldn't class myself as risk-taking, though I went through a phase of being irresponsible, getting drunk and going home with people I didn't know when I was newly single 5 years ago. Professionally I apparently appear to be good at my job and seem organised, but I am frantically treading water - my workspace (home office) and house are a mess and I have trouble keeping on top of things like washing up dishes or having clean clothes. I would be utterly lost in this regard without my partner.

Work-wise, I am always in trouble with the Finance and Admin people for not getting my expenses in on time or for losing receipts.

I am very forgetful and frequently mess up taking both my citalopram and my birth control, which then sends me into a panic. If I'm going to stay with someone I often forget a vital thing I need.

I am awful at interrupting people mid-sentence, which comes across as really rude, but I don't seem to be able to stop myself. I am also bad at fully listening to someone without relating it to an anecdote about me. I can be really self-absorbed.

I find it very hard to focus on one thing at once - this drives my partner mad as I will always have one eye on Twitter even if we are watching a film together. I can't properly relax and have to be doing more than one thing at once. I can't fall asleep without having the radio/a podcast on to keep my brain from whirring.

My attention span is very limited and I always have multiple tabs open on my browser (literally and metaphorically). I am quick to get upset or angry about things on social media and frequently rant about them, even though I know it is likely to annoy people. I leave things till the last minute even though I know I could just work hard on them and get them out of the way - I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.

I either have absolutely no energy and find it hard to even get out of bed, or I have manic bursts where i feel I can take on the world, but then wear myself out.

Does this all just sound like normal life stuff, or like there could be more to it?I know YANMD. I feel like if I could be organised my life would be a whole lot better, but I can't seem to find a way to change these aspects of myself. The elements relating to relationships have a negative impact on my friendships and on making new friends as I get socially anxious about over-sharing.

posted by Dorothea_in_Rome to Health & Fitness (14 answers total)

FWIW ADHD presents differently in women then it does in men. It is worth getting an assessment because that will give you access to specialised coaching for ADHD and to the drugs that can be life-changers for the people they help.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:40 PM on January 17, 2015

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until my 30s. I don't know whether you have ADHD or not, but I can tell you what I did when I suspected that it might be an issue for me. I went to the therapist I was seeing at the time and explained "I think ADHD may be an issue for me because (long list of problems)." She referred me to a psychiatrist who evaluated me and gave me some meds. Eventually I sought a therapist who focused on ADHD treatment.
posted by bunderful at 2:45 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

It's true you seem to have a lot of pointers toward ADHD. Read up on it if only to help you know how to get better organized and be less forgetful. Two I suggest: Here and here. Don't automatically presume you'll need an Rx, you and MD will determine that. Also, you didn't mention how much sleep you're getting, which can have a huge effect on these things.
posted by artdrectr at 2:50 PM on January 17, 2015

I have friends who were diagnosed in their 50s, so, yes. They got meds which they say are making a big difference in their lives.
posted by beagle at 2:54 PM on January 17, 2015

A neighbour of mine was diagnosed recently with Asperger's. He's in his late 50s. Just anecdotal, I know, but it illustrates that sometimes we can accept a condition for many years, believing that it's just a combination of personality traits. A diagnosis, whether positive or negative, will at least give you something to work with.
posted by pipeski at 2:55 PM on January 17, 2015

Yes; I was in my early forties when diagnosed. I just thought everyone was like this, and I was somehow more crap at life.
posted by A Friend of Dug [sock] at 3:57 PM on January 17, 2015 [6 favorites]

I was diagnosed ADHD much later than you. It's a definite possibility. If you think about it, it's not really a surprise - some of us grew up, got college degrees and jobs before ADHD became well-known. Also (my doctor told me) it's not uncommon for older people with ADHD to have learned certain coping mechanisms (some of which come off as very OCD-ish) to help them get through day-to-day life. File under weird: cigarette smoking can help to reduce some aspects of ADHD.

I'd highly recommend getting tested. The meds have had a tremendous positive impact on my life.
posted by doctor tough love at 3:59 PM on January 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

Yes, you could. Like many people here, I got diagnosed later in life. The pro side of having a proper diagnosis is access to treatment, not all of which has to be medication. Good luck.
posted by evilDoug at 4:03 PM on January 17, 2015

I know someone diagnosed later in life. It became clearer to them and their family when there was a mini-me version of them running around. This person now takes medication and has tools in place to assist with keeping track of meetings, receipts, etc., and got so much better at their job that they were promoted. I'm not saying that medication is necessary for you (or that you will be promoted!), but to provide a reason that a diagnosis might be helpful.
posted by dawg-proud at 4:35 PM on January 17, 2015

Same here - I went for an evaluation after taking a bunch of online tests to see if my daughter had it and then one day I realized that I had it too. I just started meds a few weeks ago and they, along with the coping mechanisms that doctor tough love mentioned, have made it the most productive few weeks I've had in a really long time.

I would suggest meeting with someone who can prescribe meds for you if that's something you want to investigate. Also, read up on some stuff here to get some ideas on ways to deal with it. Some of the best advice I read was that the meds only allow you to do what you need to but it's still your responsibility to manage your own affairs and organize your life in way that will allow you to reach your goals.
posted by dawkins_7 at 5:52 PM on January 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

My mother-in-law is well over twice your age and most definitely has ADHD, untreated and undiagnosed. She has classic symptoms.

One of my favorite authors was diagnosed with it around age 65, I think.

My husband is 46 and we realized he had ADHD thanks to metafilter 2 years ago. Your list of symptoms is pretty much identical to the list I would give describing him 2 years ago (things are quite a bit better now).

You can definitely make it to 30 with ADHD and not know.

If you go to a doctor about this, print out the ADULT symptoms list and ask your spouse and/or a friend to fill out the survey about you from their perspective, as well as filling one out yourself, to take with you to your appointment. Adult symptoms present just differently enough that you may be told you are instead depressed, passive aggressive, etc. This is the one my husband's primary care used (pdf): http://www.hcp.med.harvard.edu/ncs/ftpdir/adhd/18Q_ASRS_English.pdf If your spouse and/or friend are reluctant fill them out or to let you see them after they have done so, take that as a signal to make an appointment soon. ;)

My husband talks to an ADHD coach regularly and finds that helpful. You could try that, therapy (with someone who understands ADHD - be sure you ask!), or find one of the many books out there - some are just about ADHD and some are for dealing with all the things you listed (interrupting people, focus, finishing tasks, etc.).
posted by AllieTessKipp at 8:07 PM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

My mother wasn't diagnosed until her late 40s, after I was diagnosed in my late 20s when treatment for depression, anxiety, and bipolar didn't work. (So. Many. Meds!) Both of us also have signifigant anxiety problems that, contrary to when you have just anxiety without ADHD, were helped by the stimulants used for ADHD. Still need the meds for anxiety, but we're both more functional.
posted by monopas at 10:00 AM on January 18, 2015

Like a lot of parents with children who have gone through the diagnostic process, I realized that I had it as well. It explained SO MUCH about my educational career, my forgetfulness, and on and on. I was finally diagnosed a couple of months ago at the age of 36, and Adderall has made my life a billion times easier. It didn't magically fix me, but it made it more possible and manageable for me to work on fixing myself and undoing the years of bad work habits.

I encourage you to start the process as soon as possible...there's no down side to it.
posted by altopower at 10:30 AM on January 18, 2015

Yep. I was diagnosed with inattentive type at 28 and it explained so freakin' much. Pretty sure my 61-year-old father has it too, though he would never bother to get diagnosed. Dad's a successful business owner, but now I see how much easier his life could have been with treatment. It sucks to watch him struggle.

A very low dose of generic Dexedrine transformed my relationship with work. I don't feel revved up or super human, just peaceful enough to concentrate on one thing without getting up from my chair every four minutes. Definitely get evaluated by a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD! In the meantime, this is the best book I've read on the subject: Taking Charge of Adult ADHD.

Good luck!
posted by jessca84 at 5:38 PM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]