They don't deserve coal but....

December 6, 2014 10:03 AM

Please help me find gifts for my neices so I am at least allowed back next year! (I know, another gift question, but hopefully there is enough special snowflake-ness for yall)

I got some nieces, who I love very much. They are ages 6 and 8. They really are great kids who are dealing with a lot and have also not been taught to appreciate the gifts they do get. They have enough toys to stock a toystore, and I'm not kidding. They have enough clothes as well. So frankly I'm not sure what to get them. I got them a personalized story book and coloring books last year. The older kid got coloring books and crayons a few weeks ago for her birthday and rolled her eyes and pushed them aside, so...no more of them either. The younger one is more of a "tomboy" whIle the other is quite the opposite. I told Mr. Fullofcrazy that I was pretty close to just donating something to kids in need and saying that would be the gift to our neices, but I don't think that will go over so well ;). I've looked at other questions on here and can't find anything similar (though I am sure one of yall will be able to pull one up quickly). So please help me find a present for both of them that will at least get me invited back next year! Thanks :)

posted by Fullofcrazy to Shopping (18 answers total)

Best answer: Will you be with them? Can you take them to a museum and out to lunch? So not giving them a thing but rather an experience.
posted by the twistinside at 10:08 AM on December 6, 2014 [7 favorites]

Movie tickets for the whole family to use together.
posted by Swisstine at 10:09 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Experiences. Buy them tickets to see a show or something. Horseback riding, etc. Something that you can share with them later.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:12 AM on December 6, 2014

Best answer: Passes to a zoo, aquarium, or science museum.
posted by mochapickle at 10:12 AM on December 6, 2014

It sounds like they have enough stuff, probably too much. Your instinct to not burden them with more stuff is good. You can't show up empty handed, though. I like to look for disposable gifts. Things that can be used once and then tossed.

A picnic basket with cool napkins and fun treats would be nice. World Market has Hello Kitty Ramune soda that my girls go crazy for.

Hair dye, nail polish, lip gloss, and body glitter.

Shrinky dinks
posted by myselfasme at 10:15 AM on December 6, 2014

Art supplies are always a good thing, because they get used up. Also, creativity is good. When I was around that age I really liked the Klutz kits, and there are kits that are good for tomboys as well as girly girls. Books are also good, because you can never have too many of them.

But you know what you should really give them for Christmas this year? A fricken break. They're little kids. They're not practiced at displays of gratitude yet. You know that, even if this coloring book isn't the only one they have, they will still enjoy coloring in it.

Also, I have to say, it sounds like you might be as disconnected in your gift giving as they are in their gift receiving. Each girl should get a different present. Even if that means you have to choose a smaller gift. You should treat each of them like an individual and get her something she would specifically enjoy, rather than "coloring books for the nieces".

Additionally, talk to their mom! It's good to know things like the older one has a birthday around the holidays and just got X. That's something you could have avoided in advance if you'd asked.
posted by Sara C. at 10:17 AM on December 6, 2014 [6 favorites]

Best answer: That's well past colouring book and crayons age for most kids; even my own kid who is very gracious when receiving presents would've eye-rolled in private...

Mine is 7 and starting to grow out of most little-kid-ish toys. Presents this year include a complicated Lego set, a lot of little stationery items (very popular! A fancy pen and fancy notebook is needed at all times, it turns out, and generally kept in a purse), a book about Doctor Who...there aren't a lot of "toys" this year.

The Klutz kits mentioned above have been a bit hit here. I liked the My Style Studio -- it teaches some drawing skills while being fun to play around with.

A thoughtful friend of ours brought my daughter a set of silky scarves for her birthday this year, and she was chuffed to get a grown-up present. The scarves have cats on them. Grown-up but not too grown-up accessories can be good at that age. A wallet with the kid's initial on it is easy to find and fun.
posted by kmennie at 10:29 AM on December 6, 2014 [4 favorites]

A locket for the older one, a pack of rubber balls for the younger one. Reasonable gifts they might be excited about that are not too expensive of take up too much space if they're not impressed.
posted by metasarah at 10:34 AM on December 6, 2014

Response by poster: Thanks so much you all! I am out of touch with kids in general because 1) I don't have any kids yet and 2) my childhood wasn't all that great so I can't even remember what I liked at their ages. Also it is finals time and my brain feels a bit fried and I'm tired.. So thanks to everyone, I will definitely do some of these. And to Sara C., while I appreciate your ideas I also think you are assuming/reading too much in to my post and missed peices of it. I think they are great kids, and I am "giving them a break," I was just making an observation. Also I wasn't the one giving the coloring books for her birthday, I just witnessed this exchange. And if I could ask their mother I would, but for specific reasons I cant. Obviously if I could find it helpful I would have asked her.
posted by Fullofcrazy at 10:38 AM on December 6, 2014

Lip balms and lotions? They'll get used up, can be fun/useful for girly and non-girly girls, and they're cheap so the eye-rolls won't hurt as much. I had an Avon hand lotion and chapstick set as a kid that I just adored. I rationed that lotion out for years. (I also know a 5-year-old who is obsessed with those EOS lip balms, for the record.)
posted by jabes at 10:39 AM on December 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Open a investment account for their future house.
Cant access the money until they are 30. Keep contributing and teach them how to save for later.
Purposely putting such a long time span so they are over their "funny years" by the time the money becomes available. Meantime they hopefully have learned how to save and be mindful in spending money. At the same time seeing proof that saving and investing wisely really pays of.
posted by Mac-Expert at 11:08 AM on December 6, 2014

Best answer: As an extremely non-girly girl when I was a kid (I'm a genderqueer adult, but we didn't have the words in the 80s in rural NC!), I would have said 'thank you' for lip balm and lotion, but they wouldn't have gotten used. GI Joes and Legos were the ticket. :) Kids are hard, and predicting what any given kid is going to like is really hard.

I can tell you, though, that I remember every single time a relative took us out for a special meal (like the traditional Vietnamese [?] dinner when we were visiting my uncle in DC - cooking at the table? Sitting on floor cushions? It was amazing. See also, rural NC in the 80s) or when my grandmother packed us up and took us to the Baltimore aquarium for Christmas. Experiences when you're a kid (or an adult) are pretty magical, especially if it's something new. So, if you can, I side with the folks who say experience gifts. Do they live somewhere that has harbor or river cruises? Is there something historical or touristy that the family has been meaning to get to and hasn't managed yet? Is there a grown up restaurant they'd enjoy? Or maybe going with you (if you're going to be there) to one of those pottery places and painting their own tea mug? They end up with a unique thing AND they get time with you, the now awesome aunt/uncle/person. :)
posted by joycehealy at 11:11 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Do the live near you? If so, you could give them a coupon book for aunt experiences. I did this with my nephews earlier this year. Each coupon book had four choices: baking, roller skating, biking, and swimming. The idea was they could redeem their coupon when they (or their mom) wanted for each activity. This went over well.

One year I gave my other niece and nephew a pile of sticks for Christmas, to be redeemed later for a camping trip. This gift is still talked about.

The only thing is you have to do some of the scheduling for these events. Like say, tell the parent you have X day available and ask if one of the nieces want to redeem her coupon on that day.
posted by megancita at 11:29 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I don't know your budget but my oldest girl got Snap Circuits for her 9th birthday last year and loved them. She also loves Legos kits. Fun hats and gloves might work too - they got lost all the time.

Or - a personalized ornament or decoration? We order from a place and I can memail you the link if you'd like. Also, Santa always brings a snow globe or other ornament and my girls love that these are their own (and they'll be able to take them with them when they start a house of their own).

Also, you could donate something in their name. Heifer.org is a fun way to do this. You could donate chickens or a goat or something.
posted by dawkins_7 at 1:24 PM on December 6, 2014

Giving in their name is a possibility, but it would be really cool if *they* got to choose the recipient. Maybe make them some cards, or a piece of paper, listing three or four (or even just two) charities, with descriptions, and have them evaluate them and decide who to give the gift to. That way, the gift really comes from them, and they learn (by reading what you made in order to make a decision) more about the world. Giving really is a wonderful feeling, and you can give them that experience.

It would probably be nice to accompany this experience with a small token to remind them that they have done this kind thing. Maybe a small necklace with a charm that matches the charity or something.
posted by amtho at 3:46 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I would take them out for something special: the zoo, an amusement part, or even something like Benihana. Do you do anything they can join you for a peewee version of? One of my relatives took my girl to the climbing gym for her birthday and it was so much better than More Stuff. Or maybe look to see if there are some sort of special lessons you can take them to at an art studio (ceramics decorating?) or a cooking school?
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:07 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Experiences - you take them on a day out, either individually or together.

I still remember a couple of summers when my brother and I were around that age, where our grandmother took us on very frequent day trips and I still remember most of the trips. The local council had a school holiday scheme with vouchers for reduced or free entry fees for lots of stuff and my grandmother as pensioner also got reduced entry fees. The most surprisingly fun trip of these was the botanical gardens. Both my brother and I were underwhelemed when this was put to us but we both absolutely loved it once there, so much so we asked to go back the next day, at full entrance fees this time. But the green houses and tropical plants, the massive water lilys, the sheer beauty of the flowers were so unexpectedly brilliant. So don't limit yourself to typically kid proof experiences.

And be guided by them. When I lived in the UK I once took my cousin's youngest son on a day trip to London for Christmas. He was about 8 at the time. He was a bit obsessed with escalators and I had previously explained to him that there were really, really tall ones in London underground stations, much taller than in the local department store. So the purpose of the trip was to find the tallest escalators on the London underground network (Angel station if memory serves me). We spent at least half an hr just going up and down the escalators....He also emjoyed history so we made up the rest of the intinerary with that in mind and headed for the Tower. We still had some time left after that and rounded out the day with mummies at the British museum. But my cousin's son's fondest memories of the trip are the sheer endless escalators....so be guided by their interests and likes here. The escalators were free with the underground ticket we had to buy to get around anyway...

Experiences - you give the family tickets to go out together, you don't come along - cinema or a show or an aquarium or something like that.

A purse for the older one - I remember getting one as a gift when I was about 8 and it was fabulous to get a grown up gift and I was not a very girly girl

'purse' tomboy equivalent - I'll bow to former tomboy suggestions here but there must be similarly 'grown up' gift the younger one would adore

Anything hobby related - I used to like to go swimming at that age and my grandmother gave me my own large towels to take to the pool. They were fairly good quality and I still have those towels, almost 30 years later. It was again great to get a grown up gift that related to one of my favourite pasttimes.
posted by koahiatamadl at 4:20 AM on December 7, 2014

N-thing experiences. It doesn't sound like they need any more "stuff", even of the consumable kind. If you can take them yourself, think outside the box for things that they would find interesting, but that they would have done or be doing soon as a regular sort of thing. (For example, every kid in our area has been to the zoo and the science museum lots of times... now, a trip to a chocolate factory with free samples, that's going to be memorable.)
posted by stormyteal at 12:26 PM on December 7, 2014