Help me Internet-kenobe! You're my only hope!

November 6, 2014 5:18 AM

I was told that I am the finalist for a position in a school district, but that the last step would be to contact my current employer for a reference. I told them no, not until I see something in writing. But how do I handle once I do see something in writing? Help me navigate these tricky waters!

I've been at my current job for a year & 2 months. I'm not a fan, of the work or the people, and I don't do as well there as I'd like to (boss expects someone who can can act as a paralegal, despite hiring people who have never worked in law & not training them). I explained this briefly in my initial interview at the school district, but that was a month ago & they may not remember

I don't know how to handle this.

1) I'm still waiting for them to produce something for me to look at. They haven't come out and said that it won't be possible, but they also haven't said it will be possible, either.

2) If I give them the all clear to talk to my current boss, I need to talk to him first. I don't know how to have this conversation! "Good morning, I'm a finalist for another job, please say nice things to them about me so I can get away from you?" Essentially I'll be giving 2 weeks notice without having a confirmed job on the other side of it, because:

3) If he decides to give me a poor reference (either out of malice, or, as I mentioned above, I'm not the best in this job), I'm screwed - no new job, but old job is likely out too because they know I am looking.

This is a NYS civil service gig (the new one, not the current one), and I plan to spin it to him in a way that is the truth, but not the whole truth - I took the test ages ago, the salary is higher (by $7k, there are benefits (I currently don't have any), opportunities for growth & mobility, bigger work environment, etc. (I do not plan to tell him the rest of the truth, that he's a jerk and that everyday is a nightmare because he refuses to train so I have very little clue what I'm doing!)

So:

Do I stick to my "need to see something in writing" with new job?

How do I talk to my boss about the reference? Should I frame it like giving notice? Should I give notice?

What can I say in advance to new job to make them understand that it might not be a glowing review?

Any other tips? Wording, etc?

Thanks hive!

posted by firei to Work & Money (9 answers total)

Ugh this is a tough one. Most employers would understand and not contact your old boss without an offer but public schools are pretty inflexible. Have you tried offering as a reference to the new job either a current co-worker who isn't your boss, an old boss, or a former superior from your current job? Like if your bosses boss changed jobs, and you think they'd give you a good review, you could ask the school district to contact them instead. I can't think of any smooth way to alert your current boss about this. Depending on their personality and your job environment it could go fine, or poorly. Good luck!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:25 AM on November 6, 2014

Hey, man, I think we both know that this isn't my place to shine. I really appreciate the opportunity that you gave me. I'm looking at other places and one came up faster than I thought it would. It's a good fit for me and will offer me a salary increase and a raise. I would really like to try for it. Would you be open to talking me up to them?
posted by myselfasme at 6:03 AM on November 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Two thoughts. One, consider talking to the CSEA if this new gig is a civil service job in NY. They may have advice how to handle it. Two, at the NY district with which I am familiar, while they will call former employers and hope to get real information, they really only expect that they will get a confirmation of employment dates and the rare one jor two sentence nice thing such as "Firei? What a terrific employee. You will be lucky to have hired her/him," Ask them what they expect to ask your current employer.
posted by 724A at 6:10 AM on November 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

By "finalist," do you mean there are other people still in the running and they're going to hire the one who gets the best reference from their current employer? Or do you mean they have verbally offered you the job subject to a satisfactory reference? The first would be pretty weird; the second is fairly standard practice, and the risk with your current boss is just the gamble you take when looking for new employment.

I very much doubt that you will get anything formal in writing from the prospective employer until your references have been checked. Certainly they will not send you anything that could be interpreted as creating a contract.

Speak to your boss to let him know that someone will be asking for a reference, but don't give notice yet. If/when you receive a formal offer for the new job, give notice in writing, stating your intention to resign and specifying the date you will leave.

FWIW, If your boss is as eager to get rid of you as you think, the easiest way for him to do that would actually be to give the prospective employers an OK reference.
posted by Perodicticus potto at 6:21 AM on November 6, 2014

P.S. These Ask A Manager articles may be helpful:

how do job offers that are contingent on a reference from your current manager work?

employer is insisting on contacting my current manager before deciding whether to offer me a job (this one deals with a multiple-finalists scenario).
posted by Perodicticus potto at 6:31 AM on November 6, 2014

Response by poster: Apologies, should have mentioned that I went on 1 interview with the department, then they said there were 2 finalists & checked our references, one of which is a current co-worker, and the other 2 were previous employers. Then on Tuesday I went for an interview with the superintendent, and then after that was told that I was "their finalist."

Also, I don't think that I'll be fired or that they are eager to get rid of me (my 6 month review was positive) but I also know I'm not the best person ever to do this job.

Thanks!
posted by firei at 6:32 AM on November 6, 2014

Definitely read those Ask A Manager articles that Perdicticus Potto offered. You may need to get "assertive" with the people who are offering the new job - don't let them force you into a position where you could wind up jobless. Your concerns are completely justified, and you have no reason to be bashful about expressing them to the people who are hiring.

In fact, if the hiring people are unsympathetic, or tell you "no-one else has ever had a problem with this", I would take that as a red flag on this new gig.
posted by doctor tough love at 7:19 AM on November 6, 2014

Response by poster: Followup: Ok! Got an email from them outlining the offer details and will be getting a formal offer letter tomorrow, with the offer contingent on a good reference.

Now: how to I broach this with my current boss??
posted by firei at 5:17 PM on November 6, 2014

Well that's easy then. You have a contingent offer in place. Essentially say whatever you'd say as if it was a done deal and you were resigning. "I wanted to let you know someone from XXXXX district will be contacting you for a final round background check. I have an offer from them and I will be moving on. Thanks for all the etc and etc, but due to etc etc this was too good an option to pass up." Unless you have some reason to believe they will be unprofessional they should give you a fair review provided you've given them a heads up.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:06 PM on November 6, 2014