How do I "sexify" my bug costume?
October 30, 2014 10:37 AM   Subscribe

How do I make my cockroach costume "sexy" in a really obnoxious way.

I'm trying to play a little with the "sexy costume" meme. I originally decided I wanted to be a bedbug (cuz bedbugs iwww) and I ordered this costume on Amazon. Not exactly a bed bug but "buggy" enough. As I'm sure most of you do, I find the "sexy" costume fad ridiculous and tragic. I'd like to accessorize the costume by adding my own sexy elements. I'd was thinking maybe wearing fishnet stockings? stapling some cheap lingerie onto it? stapling "heart" boxers onto it? Kudos for something I can find at Goodwill. Thanks for your help!
posted by Captain Chesapeake to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (45 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
First off, unzip that front zipper. Let's see some cleavage. That plus fishnets and heels should do ya.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:39 AM on October 30, 2014 [7 favorites]


Needs an ovipositor.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 10:39 AM on October 30, 2014 [18 favorites]


are you a woman or a man?

if you're a woman, you could wear a bikini top and cut a bunch of the front off.

as a dude, cutting off the front makes sense.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:40 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


if you're a man, I would buy XXL bikini or bra and pantie set and wear them on top. If you're a woman who's going for real sexy, I would cut almost all of it up and leave the tentacle things and wear something sexy under.
posted by katypickle at 10:42 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]


Response by poster: Cisgender male
posted by Captain Chesapeake at 10:42 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


If you're a dude, I'd STILL go with bikini top, fishnets and heels.
posted by Andrhia at 10:45 AM on October 30, 2014 [60 favorites]


Undo the zipper, show your chest hair. Or draw it on with sharpie if you have to ;)
posted by Woodstock at 10:46 AM on October 30, 2014


Lipstick. Goes double for men.
posted by mochapickle at 10:48 AM on October 30, 2014 [9 favorites]


On the one hand, Fletch's idea of an ovipositor or "whatever the sex characteristics are of a bug" would be a good way to do that, because that way you could effectively be naked, the way the "sexy whatevers" are trying to be, but without being actually human naked. On the other hand, you'd probably have to be explaining bug anatomy to people all night if you did that ("no, this isn't an arm, it's an ovipositor....no, an ovipositor....*sigh* Okay, think of it as 'a bug's dick'.")

Bikini/fishnets/heels, yeah. You could also get one of those super-fake boob sets and put that on, put the costume on over that, and unzip the front (if it has a front zip) so you have the fake cleavage.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:49 AM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]


In the most blunt terms: emphasize the bust, butt, and legs. Less (clothing) is more (stereotypically "sexy"). See: man-Faye (great interview with a semi-well known anime cos-player).

Stapling things onto the costume sounds like it would clutter things up and make the costume confusing, but "peekaboo" boxers could be amusing.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:50 AM on October 30, 2014


Dangling cigarette and eyeliner too. Please post pictures.
posted by gadha at 10:57 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]


Try to find a t-shirt with the word "sexy" in rhinestones (like this) and alter it to fit the costume.
posted by mullacc at 11:01 AM on October 30, 2014 [6 favorites]


I think some makeup could help "sexify" this costume: dromantic winged eyeliner, huge false lashes, bombshell red lips. I also really like the idea of wearing/tacking some cheap lingerie onto the outside of the costume.
posted by gumtree at 11:02 AM on October 30, 2014


You need over-the-top fake eyelashes, too.
posted by juliplease at 11:03 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


I basically don't know how the sex organs of bugs work. But my loose understanding of some mammals is that they have rows of nipples on their torso. That makes me want to see three or four stupidly lacy bras (maybe with tiny balloons or stuffing inside) running down the torso of the costume. You cannot get sexier than that.
posted by kate blank at 11:04 AM on October 30, 2014 [14 favorites]


Take it way in at the waist, shorten the hem, and remove any elements you can possibly get away with.

Wear with fishnets and heels.
posted by Sara C. at 11:05 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


Fig leaves. Big green felt fig leaves.
posted by ApathyGirl at 11:05 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


Attach furry handcuffs to several of the legs?
posted by gueneverey at 11:09 AM on October 30, 2014 [4 favorites]


Best answer: Maybe take it in the direction of sexy cop bug with cut-off jean shorts/daisy-dukes. Show off those hairy segmented gams.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:15 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Please note that you'll need fishnets and heels for ALL the legs.
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:18 AM on October 30, 2014 [55 favorites]


write DTF on the back
posted by Greg Nog at 11:23 AM on October 30, 2014 [5 favorites]


This may be a little ambitious, but here would be my ideal if you're looking for a masculine version of sexy.

First, you cut straight down the middle so it's open in the front. Then, removing as much material as necessary, you make it a peekaboo laceup thing* with some kind of ribbon or leather thong or something, so it's more fitted and still shows plenty of skin. Add a pair of booty shorts, which you could probably get some lady's boyshorts or a pair of modified bike shorts or something, and optionally stuff a sock down there.

I just now did an image search to see if there are any iconic cis-male type stripper shoes, and apparently not, so I'd go with whatever you've already got that's comfortable. Workboots seem pretty common, and would look especially good with that costume, I think.

* Depending on the type and weight of the material, either with grommets or just plain holes, I guess.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:34 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


Unzipper it to reveal the sexxxxy chest you've sewn in.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:35 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


Boob window
posted by ckape at 11:40 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


I hope you have hairy legs to poke through the fishnets. That would be awesome.
posted by lizbunny at 11:51 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


Why not cut off the bottom and wear some boxer briefs with a sock stuffed in them. Add in some ab definition on the top and you might get a cockroach version of this.
posted by brookeb at 11:51 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


Playboy bunny costume layered on top.
posted by theraflu at 11:55 AM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Going in a different direction, you could use pastels to create six-pack (12-pack? Case?) abs and then just add the bow tie, cuffs, and a pair of tight black pants or spandex tights to get the Chippendale's look.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:55 AM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


(Or maybe the modern reference would really be Magic Mike?)
posted by Room 641-A at 11:57 AM on October 30, 2014


Best answer: Rather than cutting or opening the costume, put skimpy clothing on top of the costume. Maybe short shorts and a tiny vest. Yes to sequins and rhinestones, and maybe add a fireman, policeman, sailor, or biker hat. Also maybe some dollar bills hanging out of the waistband of the shorts.

Essentially, you'll be a human, dressed as a cockroach, dressed as a sexy human. Very Victor/Victoria.
posted by amtho at 12:00 PM on October 30, 2014 [8 favorites]


Lots of cleavage, as mentioned.
Fishnets & heels (for all legs!), or thigh-high boots with spike heels.
Shorten that skirt! It ought to barely cover your butt.
Can you cut of off just below the bustline, and make the remainder a hip-hugging short skirt? Let your midrift show.
Makeup: lots of red, red lipstick, big eyelashes, etc.
Tight, tight tight! Skin-tight clothes and lots of skin are the way to go.




And don't forget to come back in here and let us see the final results!
posted by easily confused at 12:01 PM on October 30, 2014 [6 favorites]


Needs an ovipositor.

Here is one, if you don't mind laying out the cash: http://primalhardwere.com/category/ovipositors?adult_confirm=true
posted by The Blue Olly at 12:21 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]


Best answer: Pheromones? Or, more seriously dowse yourself with a scent that is overpowering but not overtly noxious.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:33 PM on October 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Speedo with a potato, unzipped with chest hair (fake or real), and maybe a silky robe? If you wanna carry something around, a pair of champagne glasses?

I'm not a fan of dressing up like a woman for this costume, mostly because it could easily be seen as making fun of women or laughing at them instead of at the ridiculous phenomenon of women being expected to sexy it up for Halloween. Aim for a Magnum PI look and I think it'll be funnier.
posted by quince at 12:36 PM on October 30, 2014 [3 favorites]


Best answer: Are you perhaps familiar with what Isabella Rossellini has been up to lately?
posted by hydrophonic at 12:36 PM on October 30, 2014 [10 favorites]


Attach condoms to some of the arms so it looks like you are ready to rumble
posted by rmless at 3:30 PM on October 30, 2014


A bra and panties over it.
posted by AppleTurnover at 3:56 PM on October 30, 2014


I think you need a strap-on with a giant glittery dong much more than cleavage or matching ladies underwear.

Bonus: Helicopter.
posted by a halcyon day at 4:30 PM on October 30, 2014


Garter around one or more of the legs.
posted by The Elusive Architeuthis at 4:44 PM on October 30, 2014


Slice that thing scantily down the middle almost to your navel, then take the waist in (if not via sewing, try safety pins and/or some belting action). Yowza.
posted by deludingmyself at 5:43 PM on October 30, 2014


Photos please when you're done!
posted by latkes at 7:00 PM on October 30, 2014 [2 favorites]


Two words: black corset.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:17 PM on October 30, 2014


Cock-roach. Hmm...
posted by SparkDino at 11:34 PM on October 30, 2014


put a merkin on it
posted by WeekendJen at 10:04 AM on October 31, 2014


Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I'm going for 80s Chippendale bedbug with sexy bow tie, sexy cuffs on all legs, abs and chest drawn on body, and gross bedbug proboscis!
posted by Captain Chesapeake at 12:37 PM on October 31, 2014 [8 favorites]


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