Not the father.
November 11, 2005 2:21 PM Subscribe
A friend just found out that he's not the biological father of his 5 year old. How can he make sure he retains as many parental rights as possible? He never married the mother, but his name is on the birth certificate.
Response by poster: Help him find referrals to a good family law specialist.
He knows all that. He just got started on this process. I'm asking cause, well, you never know when somebody on AskMe has some personal experience or insights.
posted by taumeson at 2:37 PM on November 11, 2005
He knows all that. He just got started on this process. I'm asking cause, well, you never know when somebody on AskMe has some personal experience or insights.
posted by taumeson at 2:37 PM on November 11, 2005
This is entirely dependent on the state.
posted by IronLizard at 3:41 PM on November 11, 2005
posted by IronLizard at 3:41 PM on November 11, 2005
No experience from a parent's or lawyer's perspective, but I want to send best wishes from the child's perspective.
Although I've never met my biological mother, I've never had any doubts on who my real mother was (she's the one who raised me, duh), and have never had any burning desire to find my biological mother, despite what made-for-tv shows might lead you to believe happens when kids find out mommy and daddy aren't their "real" parents.
posted by cactus at 5:28 PM on November 11, 2005
Although I've never met my biological mother, I've never had any doubts on who my real mother was (she's the one who raised me, duh), and have never had any burning desire to find my biological mother, despite what made-for-tv shows might lead you to believe happens when kids find out mommy and daddy aren't their "real" parents.
posted by cactus at 5:28 PM on November 11, 2005
All I can say is I'm right with cactus. Never met my biological father. Don't care to. My real dad is the man who raised me until he passed 23 years ago.
And good luck to your friend. Too many folks take advantage of any opportunity to bolt.
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:54 PM on November 11, 2005
And good luck to your friend. Too many folks take advantage of any opportunity to bolt.
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:54 PM on November 11, 2005
I do not believe this individual has any legal rights unless he adopts the child in question. If there were an issue of custody or guardianship I do not believe his relationship with the child would carry any weight: only the rights of the mother and biological father would even be considered.
posted by nanojath at 10:31 PM on November 11, 2005
posted by nanojath at 10:31 PM on November 11, 2005
Did you try Googling "non-biological father rights"? Also try "presumed father". I found this article on a presumed father battle in California, as well as this one.
posted by acoutu at 11:16 PM on November 11, 2005
posted by acoutu at 11:16 PM on November 11, 2005
Speaking from experience: My brother isn't the biological father of kids, but is on the birth certificate. He doesn't want contact with the kids (although my parents have custody).
Legally, in Wisconsin, he's still responsible for their upkeep until age 18, although he could challenge that at this point.
This is kinda the reverse situation, but what's relevant is that this is an area of law very much in flux. I would say that your friend's motivation will play an important role in how much parental rights he retains. It may also be expensive.
Key to winning will be maintaining an interest in the child and carefully avoiding looking like a deadbeat dad, even if he's having a financial dispute with the mom.
nanojath: As a flat judgement, that's probably untrue. The courts very often recognize that a person who has lived in the home for a certain period is entitled to some visitation at the least.
posted by dhartung at 11:46 PM on November 11, 2005
Legally, in Wisconsin, he's still responsible for their upkeep until age 18, although he could challenge that at this point.
This is kinda the reverse situation, but what's relevant is that this is an area of law very much in flux. I would say that your friend's motivation will play an important role in how much parental rights he retains. It may also be expensive.
Key to winning will be maintaining an interest in the child and carefully avoiding looking like a deadbeat dad, even if he's having a financial dispute with the mom.
nanojath: As a flat judgement, that's probably untrue. The courts very often recognize that a person who has lived in the home for a certain period is entitled to some visitation at the least.
posted by dhartung at 11:46 PM on November 11, 2005
Recently, in Washington I believe, the courts upheld the parental rights for a woman who was a "parent" of a child with her same-sex partner for a number of years. The other woman married the biological father and tried to cut off the other woman from contact with the child.
My lawyer told me about this as it was happening because he said it would be a valuable precedent to argue from depending on some circumstances. Of course, like all family law, much of everything is dependent on the state and on the judges in question.
And, of course, IANAL...
posted by muddylemon at 12:03 AM on November 12, 2005
My lawyer told me about this as it was happening because he said it would be a valuable precedent to argue from depending on some circumstances. Of course, like all family law, much of everything is dependent on the state and on the judges in question.
And, of course, IANAL...
posted by muddylemon at 12:03 AM on November 12, 2005
IANAL, but I think nanojath is completely wrong.
sorry, nanojath
posted by Count Ziggurat at 9:37 AM on November 12, 2005
sorry, nanojath
posted by Count Ziggurat at 9:37 AM on November 12, 2005
If Mom has treated your friend like the father (such as, say, listing him on the birth certificate) she may not have the right to deny his paternity at this point, depending of course on state law.
You've left out a bunch of details. How did it come about that he found out he's not the biological father? Has he been supporting the child all this time? Has he been living with the child's mother during this time? Does the father anticipate that the mother will try to cut off contact? All these facts will be relevant to anyone with the expertise to help.
ON PREVIEW: Depending on state law, nanojath may be partially or completely wrong.
posted by mikewas at 1:35 PM on November 15, 2005
You've left out a bunch of details. How did it come about that he found out he's not the biological father? Has he been supporting the child all this time? Has he been living with the child's mother during this time? Does the father anticipate that the mother will try to cut off contact? All these facts will be relevant to anyone with the expertise to help.
ON PREVIEW: Depending on state law, nanojath may be partially or completely wrong.
posted by mikewas at 1:35 PM on November 15, 2005
Apologies are not necessary if I am in fact completely or partially wrong! Wierd legal territory...
posted by nanojath at 11:36 PM on November 15, 2005
posted by nanojath at 11:36 PM on November 15, 2005
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Help him find referrals to a good family law specialist.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 2:33 PM on November 11, 2005