Broke-Ass Godmother Needs To Pony Up

October 14, 2014 2:19 PM

So my cousin asked me to be her new baby girl's godmother. Yay! But that means I need to get a gift. Uh-oh! Is what I got good, or should I throw in something else?

I'm WAY too broke for anything like a silver engraved rattle or sippy cup (employed only as a temp for the past year, rent just got raised, barely making ends meet as it is), but I found a sweet little cross baby necklace that's in her birthstone.

But is that....too cheap? Or should I consider throwing in a bracelet as well? Or maybe a sweet little "my first bible stories" board book or something? (I'm already going to be getting a little book for the baby's big sister, who's only two - I like to try doing a little lagniappe for the sibling who's being left out.)

I'm sure the family will roll no matter what happens (technically, I only just barely still count as Catholic myself, so my even being a godmother is probably bending the rules), but I don't want to stiff the kid. Thanks.

posted by EmpressCallipygos to Grab Bag (20 answers total)

How religious are the parents?
posted by ocherdraco at 2:31 PM on October 14, 2014

I think that the necklace alone or the Baby's Bible Stories book is more than enough. Pick a token gift that symbolizes your spiritual role in the child's life. It can be modest. That's fine. Only a very insensitive and, frankly gross, person would expect you to shell out for a very pricey, extravagant gift given your current circumstances.
posted by quince at 2:58 PM on October 14, 2014 [8 favorites]

The necklace alone is plenty, and really that is super thoughtful of you, and probably above and beyond the call of duty, I might add.

I'm the mother of 2 Catholic kids and the godparents didn't get them anything for their baptisms because: newborns, and I think that was totally fine. Showing up for the baptism is enough of a gift.
posted by hush at 3:03 PM on October 14, 2014 [5 favorites]

I think the necklace is a really sweet gift. When I was a kid I had a couple pieces of jewelry that were given to me by special family members and I really treasured them.
posted by radioamy at 3:04 PM on October 14, 2014 [2 favorites]

Is there going to be a party? I'd volunteer as the godmother, to also bring, say, muffins or a pretty baptism cake that you can bake yourself and not spend a lot of money.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 3:07 PM on October 14, 2014

By muffins I meant cupcakes, for example, this cupcake dress looks pretty easy and not expensive.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 3:11 PM on October 14, 2014

I don't know your family, but I would say the necklace (and book of Bible stories) is just about perfect. This is a baby, after all.

I also have a few pieces of jewelry -- likely inexpensive, all things considered -- I remember being from family members and liking them because of that. She's not going to know how much you spent, just that you gave her something that's always been in her life.

And depending on what being a godparent means in your family, being present in her life as a trusted adult is probably a better gift than anything you can buy her.
posted by darksong at 3:17 PM on October 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

Catholic. Necklace is fine, and if you feel guilty about it, just resolve that you will get her more and better gifts throughout the years as your life situation improves.
posted by corb at 3:42 PM on October 14, 2014

I really don't think a baby can be owed a jewelry present or stiffed of one especially if you're just getting by yourself. A token of the occasion plus actually doing a good job at being a godmother is all that's required. I think the presence of this question indicates you're perfectly Catholic enough :)
posted by bleep at 3:50 PM on October 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

If anything they should be buying you a gift for agreeing to be godmother.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:54 PM on October 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

I think it's a great present. I would probably do the board book too just so the baby gets something right away but you definitely don't have to.
posted by brilliantine at 3:55 PM on October 14, 2014

I'm Catholic-esque. I got my nephew a lovely silver cross necklace, BUT according to my family's traditions I was also on the hook for purchasing his entire baptism outfit. So check out if you need to buy her white duds before springing for the necklace.
posted by kimberussell at 3:57 PM on October 14, 2014

"And depending on what being a godparent means in your family, being present in her life as a trusted adult is probably a better gift than anything you can buy her."

We choose our kids' sponsors taking this is consideration, not whether they can give gifts. Most of the sentimental gifts given at their baptisms get stored away or lost.

I have printed out an appropriate evening prayer in colored ink, decorated it with a wreath of flowers and leaves in the baby's room colors, and framed it in a cheap Hobby Lobby or Michael's prematted frame for under $10. If the child is Roman Catholic, the guardian angel prayer would be appropriate; if Lutheran, Luther's Evening Prayer; Anglican, a prayer from the Book of Common Prayer, etc.
posted by katyh at 3:59 PM on October 14, 2014

Your most important gift is YOU and your time. Your gift is to hang out with the baby so the parents can get a nap. You can come over and cook a meal while they deal with the baby. Maybe you help clean the house while they're in the hospital so they can come home to clean laundry and clean house with the new baby.

When your friends are exhausted and frazzled, you're there to babysit so they can grab a Subway foot-long together for an hour.

You are now part of another family!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:12 PM on October 14, 2014

Seconding Ruthless Bunny. And the necklace is plenty!
posted by harrietthespy at 4:18 PM on October 14, 2014

Response by poster: Thanks, all - this is actually quite reassuring.

My cousin (and the aunt and uncle who are her parents) are mid-range religious, but my cousin is definitely into the liberal Catholic category - she and her husband were super-active in Ohio's marriage-rights drive, and even postponed their own wedding until same-sex marriage was legal there. Her husband's family is also a bunch of awesome Harley-Davidson fans (his mother wore a dress at their wedding that showed off her full back tattoo, and is a HOOT).

I've seen a great board book I was going to get for her big sister; maybe if I see a small photo album or scrapbook while I'm at the bookstore I'll get that too, but I'm reassured that the necklace alone would be fine if I don't.

If anything they should be buying you a gift for agreeing to be godmother.

According to Miss Manners, they are indeed supposed to. :-) (I'll settle for getting my wish that the godfather be one of their wackier friends.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:32 PM on October 14, 2014

I think that necklace is lovely, and if my daughter received that from her godmother, I would be very touched.
posted by tristeza at 4:46 PM on October 14, 2014

I think the necklace is definitely "enough"! If it were my kid, I would think it was way more important having a caring godmother than any gift, anyway.

That said, one thing parents love is pictures of their kids. Did you see this? Less than the necklace and they could put her christening picture in it and have a keepsake specifically for the christening ceremony, too.
posted by misha at 5:50 PM on October 14, 2014

Check their traditions. I was expected to do the necklace and cross, and decorate the candle and provide the white baptismal outfit, except one mum already had that sorted. You can do the chain later and get a simple pendant on a silk ribbon for now because babies shouldn't be wearing chains anyway, then get a chain as a gift for later. I did the bible board book for their first birthdays and then something handknit for them as well for later. The best gift you can give them is to be there and to promise to pray for them every week. A brokeass loving godparent beats an engraved cup always.
posted by viggorlijah at 6:23 PM on October 14, 2014 [2 favorites]

What about something for the baby's room that she can see everyday? I quite like these guardian angel pictures for little children.
posted by thylacinthine at 2:11 AM on October 15, 2014