How to scare someone?
September 19, 2014 11:07 PM Subscribe
Recently I was surprise spooked by a figure on my roof as I was leaving my house in the middle of the night as a joke by my friend. I want to get them back in a big way. Short of anything super extreme or coordinating with friends (this is a solo operation) how can I scare them back? I need your best and scariest ideas.
The long game is to act incredibly weirdly cool and calm around your victim until you get them back, far in to the future. No revenge is worth it when it's just payback. Let them sweat over every little strange event and startle at every noise, till you get them back good in a month or two. Or never. The terrifying anticipation based on your icy calm is where the real revenge is.
posted by taff at 1:44 AM on September 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by taff at 1:44 AM on September 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
Hide a life-size cardboard cutout of someone behind their shower curtain.
I live alone and that would startle the bejeezus out of me. (As would the roof creeper.) I think it's about equitable.
posted by phunniemee at 1:55 AM on September 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
I live alone and that would startle the bejeezus out of me. (As would the roof creeper.) I think it's about equitable.
posted by phunniemee at 1:55 AM on September 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
My favourite flatmate ever used to hide my remote-control tarantula toy thing around the house in various places where they knew it would catch me unawares.
(The toy was a birthday present for me from another friend! I knew it existed, just wasn't expecting it to be wherever it turned up - on my pillow when I came in drunk, or my favourite one was perched on top of the kitchen cupboard door so it fell on me when I opened the door to get a drink of water). Japes!
So for the long con, buy them the toy spider for their birthday, get them used to the idea of it being around and then start doing it in a year or so.
posted by symphonicknot at 3:05 AM on September 20, 2014
(The toy was a birthday present for me from another friend! I knew it existed, just wasn't expecting it to be wherever it turned up - on my pillow when I came in drunk, or my favourite one was perched on top of the kitchen cupboard door so it fell on me when I opened the door to get a drink of water). Japes!
So for the long con, buy them the toy spider for their birthday, get them used to the idea of it being around and then start doing it in a year or so.
posted by symphonicknot at 3:05 AM on September 20, 2014
Old style haunted houses used to have threads hanging down from the ceiling to run across your face as you went by in the dark, it felt like spider webs.
There are decals that make it look like your windshield is cracked.
If you can get to their attic you could put some sort of battery powered toy up there to bang around, especially if it only ran intermittently. Or even just on the roof. Or in the basement.
Its almost Halloween, you know those motion activated skulls that light up and laugh? Especially if the porch light is "burnt out"...and maybe a few thread spider webs for good measure.
posted by BoscosMom at 4:48 AM on September 20, 2014
There are decals that make it look like your windshield is cracked.
If you can get to their attic you could put some sort of battery powered toy up there to bang around, especially if it only ran intermittently. Or even just on the roof. Or in the basement.
Its almost Halloween, you know those motion activated skulls that light up and laugh? Especially if the porch light is "burnt out"...and maybe a few thread spider webs for good measure.
posted by BoscosMom at 4:48 AM on September 20, 2014
Does it have to be scary or can it just slowly drive them mad?
posted by evilmomlady at 5:01 AM on September 20, 2014
posted by evilmomlady at 5:01 AM on September 20, 2014
I was almost sure evilmomlady's link was going to point to this article!
(Summary: a guy got revenge on his roommate by using targeted Facebook ads to make him feel really paranoid.)
posted by Cheese Monster at 5:27 AM on September 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
(Summary: a guy got revenge on his roommate by using targeted Facebook ads to make him feel really paranoid.)
posted by Cheese Monster at 5:27 AM on September 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
Send them a note or card which says simply, "When you least expect it.... Expect it."
And then, do nothing.
posted by tomboko at 6:05 AM on September 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
And then, do nothing.
posted by tomboko at 6:05 AM on September 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
Agreeing with the cardboard cutout suggestion. I have scared SO MANY PEOPLE with my various cardboard cutouts.
posted by Librarypt at 6:39 AM on September 20, 2014
posted by Librarypt at 6:39 AM on September 20, 2014
A letter from the IRS.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:01 AM on September 20, 2014
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:01 AM on September 20, 2014
Oh and for verisimilitude, you can send the letter to a post office in Washington D.C. to have them cancel the stamp there.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:17 AM on September 20, 2014
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:17 AM on September 20, 2014
Suggest a camping trip in the woods. Make sure your friend imbibes plenty, at night, then enforce a brief period of limited access to libation, then offer Kool Aid. Have someone pretend not to remember the name "Kool Aid" -- "What is this stuff called?" When he says "Kool Aid!" have someone dressed as the Kool Aid man come crashing from the woods yelling "Oh Yea!".
This is based on a successful prank by friends of mine, but which I did not personally witness. Worked like a charm -- the imbibing may or may not have involved substances that are legal in some states and illegal in others.
posted by vitabellosi at 7:18 AM on September 20, 2014 [10 favorites]
This is based on a successful prank by friends of mine, but which I did not personally witness. Worked like a charm -- the imbibing may or may not have involved substances that are legal in some states and illegal in others.
posted by vitabellosi at 7:18 AM on September 20, 2014 [10 favorites]
IRS letter is best idea. Set up a VoIP vociemail box to collect their increasingly desperate phone messages to the number you provide as the deadline of whatever crises you make up nears.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:00 AM on September 20, 2014
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:00 AM on September 20, 2014
How about sending a male stripper dressed as a cop?
posted by alphanerd at 1:12 PM on September 20, 2014
posted by alphanerd at 1:12 PM on September 20, 2014
> Does it have to be scary or can it just slowly drive them mad?
Sorry for the aside, but this seems like a pretty intense form of revenge (the battery on that thing lasts a month with continuous use), and it reminds me of the short story The Reverse Bug.
posted by toofuture at 3:30 PM on September 20, 2014
Sorry for the aside, but this seems like a pretty intense form of revenge (the battery on that thing lasts a month with continuous use), and it reminds me of the short story The Reverse Bug.
posted by toofuture at 3:30 PM on September 20, 2014
A guy calling himself George Hayduke has been publishing revenge-prank books since at least 1980.
Some of the methods in those books are extremely mean, and some are outright dangerous. Proceed with caution.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:34 AM on September 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
Some of the methods in those books are extremely mean, and some are outright dangerous. Proceed with caution.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:34 AM on September 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by tanktop at 1:21 AM on September 20, 2014