Synthetic Human Funk

September 15, 2014 11:11 PM

My hair looks best when it has not been washed in two days or so. After that it looks greasy, freshly washed it is super-fluffy. How can I simulate or maximize the sweet spot of day two dirt?

I have thick dark Caucasian hair. I'm male. I don't think I'm willing to go no-poo.

posted by anonymous to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (19 answers total)

Soy paste. Awesome stuff!!
posted by pearlybob at 11:15 PM on September 15, 2014

I was on my way to no-poo but I stopped at using only conditioner and I think I get to live in that sweet spot because of it.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:39 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Hair powder is designed for exactly this look - wash hair regularly, use hair powder to give it that '2 day of dirt' look.
posted by modernnomad at 11:47 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

This conditioner was a life changer for me on that. I had tried a lot of stuff, and had also started to get in to going no-poo possibly. not-crappy shampoo(ie mane and tail, without the wax and such in it) plus that and my hair settles into the "groove" after essentially one nights sleep, and stays there for 4~ days. Generally when i wash it, it's because i know it needs to be washed, rather than that it looks greasy. It's usually started to level up to looking even awesomer but is dirty and i just go "aww :(" and wash it.
posted by emptythought at 11:55 PM on September 15, 2014

Use heavy conditioner and don't rinse it out.
posted by the big lizard at 12:35 AM on September 16, 2014

I have similar hair and *love* Cynthia Sylvia Stout shampoo by Lush. I wash my (long curly) hair once a week, and "squish to condish" a couple times a week in between. This is basically using heaps of (cheap) silicone free conditioner and squeezing most of it out with wet hands... Leaving it all in tends to be too much (for me). Super fluffy can be a sign that your hair is curlier than you think it is. Avoid hairbrushes like the plague.
posted by jrobin276 at 12:48 AM on September 16, 2014 [3 favorites]

I hacked off all my hair a few months ago but prior to that I had real long locks. Same deal as yours, especially that super-fluffy thing; I have real fine hair, it looked dopey as hell.

The only time it really, really looked good is had I gotten caught out in a shower, and gotten it soaked through; it dried leaving me looking as best I ever looked. But you can't go hoping for rain every day, or you can, but you'd be awfully disappointed.

Someone here in some thread said no shampoo, I started that but on day three, or day four max, it looked like I'd shoved my head into a pan of dirty motor oil. They said that you've got to get past that, just hang in there for that first week. So I did.

And then I washed my hair just once a week, give or take. It'd get wet in the shower but no big deal, just dried it, unless I'd worked some construction stuff, dust and/or dirt, then I'd wash it. Other than that, once a week, give or take.

Worked great. Gave away any/all shampoo and/or conditioner, used the same soap I use on my bod, hair looked as good as it ever did, other than that whole rain thing, which really was some sort of magic voodoo, fashion model magazine hair.

Give the no shampoo thing a whirl, can't hurt; it sure made it simple for me.
posted by dancestoblue at 1:10 AM on September 16, 2014

I used to buy a product called Tigi Bedhead for exactly this (circa 1997) and they still have a website but I dont know if they still sell that particular product.
posted by evil_esto at 2:51 AM on September 16, 2014

Personally, I wash my hair now with bicarb and condition with apple cider vinegar every other day.
posted by evil_esto at 2:53 AM on September 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Go for a long run after you wash your hair. You'll sweat it to the proper grime level.
posted by roger ackroyd at 3:11 AM on September 16, 2014

Coming in to 2nd hair powder, Redken Powder Grip 03. You only need a very small amount. It is not greasy or stiff like gels and mousse.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 5:41 AM on September 16, 2014

I have the same problem, and I put a drop of argan oil on my hands, rub them together, and apply it to the ends of my hair - that tamps down the fluffiness nicely and makes it more manageable.
posted by Lycaste at 5:54 AM on September 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Use a brush with boar bristles to smooth the oils from the scalp down the hair. This will extend the time between good grime and bad grime levels, so your day 2 perfection will continue to day 3 at least.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:17 AM on September 16, 2014

I stopped using shampoo a long time ago, and I just use a conditioner which I chose really carefully (I do wash it out but it leaves a very useful residue).
posted by zeek321 at 7:16 AM on September 16, 2014

Dry shampoo is awesome. It makes clean hair feel more "dirty" (as in textured) and dirty hair feel more clean (by absorbing oil). Batiste is my favorite brand, it's around $7 for a full size can, and there are also mini cans for around $4 if you want to try it out.
posted by insectosaurus at 8:40 AM on September 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Tigi bedhead still exists, evil_esto! I buy it on Amazon.
posted by destructive cactus at 9:04 AM on September 16, 2014

Blow dry with Tigi Control Freak styling gel (or cheap mousse works too.) Spray liberally with dry shampoo (Tresemme is cheap and works fine.) Push hair into place with fingers, hairspray if you want.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:02 AM on September 16, 2014

There's a product called Dirt for exactly this reason. It works well ime.
posted by purple_bird at 10:36 AM on September 16, 2014

Tigi bedhead still exists

Totally what I use if I can find it. I'll try a lot of random glop on my head and it's the best stuff. Also I've found that a spray bottle with salt water (if you have healthy hair) can give your hair a bit more texture and make it look a bit more "piece-y" if that's what you want, without giving you the greasy look.
posted by jessamyn at 11:03 AM on September 16, 2014 [2 favorites]