Do the Ostrich.
September 14, 2014 8:53 PM Subscribe
What are some of the most ludicrous exhortations in pop music?
Sadly, I got "The Safety Dance" stuck in my head tonight. After rolling it around for a while, I got fixated on the line, "Everybody look at your hands!" Which in turn led me to wonder: what are some other ridiculous commands in pop?
I don't want your garden-variety "Push it real good", or even (necessarily) the object-oriented "Boots! Start walking!" but rather specific admonitions directed at the listening audience. The more left-field, the better. What say you?
Sadly, I got "The Safety Dance" stuck in my head tonight. After rolling it around for a while, I got fixated on the line, "Everybody look at your hands!" Which in turn led me to wonder: what are some other ridiculous commands in pop?
I don't want your garden-variety "Push it real good", or even (necessarily) the object-oriented "Boots! Start walking!" but rather specific admonitions directed at the listening audience. The more left-field, the better. What say you?
Do the Brown Nose!
posted by Jaymzifer at 9:07 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Jaymzifer at 9:07 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
DJ Kool, Let Me Clear My Throat. I recommend a listen, as the lyrics don't do this justice:
Now if y'all wanna party like we doposted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:07 PM on September 14, 2014 [8 favorites]
If y'all wanna party like us, lemme hear ya say
Ah ah ah ah ah, if y'all wanna party like we do
If y'all wanna party like us lemme hear ya say
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Now when I say uh, you say ah
Uh (crowd) Uh (crowd)
And now when I say hey, you say ha
Hey (crowd) hey (crowd)
Now when I say uh, you say ah
Uh (crowd) Uh (crowd)
Now when I say hey you say ha, hey (crowd)
Now when I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime
When I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime freeze
I don't think Kung Fu Fighting really contains any exhortations to the listening audience, except maybe the line at the end, "Make sure you have expert timing," which would be hilariously weird to take as an admonition.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:11 PM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:11 PM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
Take Back Your Duck (hint: rhyming slang.)
Might not qualify, as it's not directed "at the listening audience."
posted by Nerd of the North at 9:21 PM on September 14, 2014
Might not qualify, as it's not directed "at the listening audience."
posted by Nerd of the North at 9:21 PM on September 14, 2014
Not ridiculous but I always enjoy Prince exhorting me and my fellow, rhythmless white people in DMSR:
All the white people clap your hands on the four now
One two three, one two three, one two three, one two three, listen to me
posted by latkes at 9:25 PM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
All the white people clap your hands on the four now
One two three, one two three, one two three, one two three, listen to me
posted by latkes at 9:25 PM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
shake it like a Polaroid picture; lend me some sugar
you must whip it
walk the dinosaur
get offa my cloud
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:29 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
you must whip it
walk the dinosaur
get offa my cloud
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:29 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
And from Do the brown nose: I wanna hear you shout 'Erlenmeyer flask'
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:30 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by LobsterMitten at 9:30 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
I don't think there is any more ludicrous exhortation in pop music than the exhortation to shoplift a steam cleaner at the Safe Muffins in Martinez and take it to 180 and the letter G.
posted by eschatfische at 9:32 PM on September 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by eschatfische at 9:32 PM on September 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
Hah, latkes' comment reminds me of this exhortation at the end of the immortal Humpty Dance:
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:34 PM on September 14, 2014 [27 favorites]
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpI just love Humpty's abbreviated geo-racial tour of the United States and its minor outlying possessions.
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 9:34 PM on September 14, 2014 [27 favorites]
Poooour some shuggah on MEEEE!
posted by Ursula Hitler at 9:56 PM on September 14, 2014
posted by Ursula Hitler at 9:56 PM on September 14, 2014
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.
posted by Pronoiac at 10:02 PM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by Pronoiac at 10:02 PM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
Tell the driver that you're going to a double-dutch affair.
posted by limeonaire at 10:14 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by limeonaire at 10:14 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
Superman that ho.
posted by pineappleheart at 10:59 PM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by pineappleheart at 10:59 PM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
"Somebody call 911! Shorty got a fever on the dancefloor" (not sure why that's an emergency)
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:28 PM on September 14, 2014
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:28 PM on September 14, 2014
Well, it's pretty forward if not actually ludicrous: It's getting hot in herre (so hot) so take off all your clothes.
I am sure that George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic encouraged us to do some deeply silly things but the only one I can think of off the top of my head is "Do the dogcatcher". ("Let's shoot them with the bop gun" is an exhortation to the Funkateers, not the audience per se, although the audience is always treated like a good friend at a P-Funk show.)
posted by gingerest at 11:45 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
I am sure that George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic encouraged us to do some deeply silly things but the only one I can think of off the top of my head is "Do the dogcatcher". ("Let's shoot them with the bop gun" is an exhortation to the Funkateers, not the audience per se, although the audience is always treated like a good friend at a P-Funk show.)
posted by gingerest at 11:45 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
Kill Yourself! - Uncle Dave Macon, sometime in the 1920s.
posted by scruss at 12:33 AM on September 15, 2014
posted by scruss at 12:33 AM on September 15, 2014
There's a Lonely Island song spoofing this called GO KINDERGARTEN. The whole song is ludicrous exhortations, but since that's the joke it might not satisfy your question.
posted by distorte at 12:33 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by distorte at 12:33 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
Pass That Dutch by Missy Elliott has some pretty good ones:
"When you hear the sound - WHO-DI-WHOOOOO! - Run for cover, motherfucker"
"Shake ya ass till it stink"
"Jiggle that fat"
posted by sigmagalator at 12:35 AM on September 15, 2014
"When you hear the sound - WHO-DI-WHOOOOO! - Run for cover, motherfucker"
"Shake ya ass till it stink"
"Jiggle that fat"
posted by sigmagalator at 12:35 AM on September 15, 2014
If only I could find it... "Suck on my guitar" from Bootsy Collins.
posted by deadwax at 4:22 AM on September 15, 2014
posted by deadwax at 4:22 AM on September 15, 2014
Get out the way, Let Casper drive!
posted by WeekendJen at 4:41 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by WeekendJen at 4:41 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
Frankly, I think that life would be so much better if more people were to Walk Like an Egyptian.
On the other hand, Roxy Music does not define what they mean when they exhort us to Do the Strand.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 5:09 AM on September 15, 2014
On the other hand, Roxy Music does not define what they mean when they exhort us to Do the Strand.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 5:09 AM on September 15, 2014
Well, it's pretty forward if not actually ludicrous: It's getting hot in herre (so hot) so take off all your clothes.
You're right, that's not actually Ludacris; it's Nelly. ;)
But speaking of Ludacris:
Move bitch, get out the way
or
Tell your boyfriend not to be mad at me
posted by elsietheeel at 5:52 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
You're right, that's not actually Ludacris; it's Nelly. ;)
But speaking of Ludacris:
Move bitch, get out the way
or
Tell your boyfriend not to be mad at me
posted by elsietheeel at 5:52 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
Stand in the place where you are, now face west, (whole song is imperatives like that)
and TMBG songs are a mine of weird imperatives - not sure all of these quite count, but:
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Throw the crib door wide, let the people crawl inside
Make a hole with a gun perpendicular, to the name of this town in a desktop globe
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:29 AM on September 15, 2014 [4 favorites]
and TMBG songs are a mine of weird imperatives - not sure all of these quite count, but:
Put your hand inside the puppet head
Throw the crib door wide, let the people crawl inside
Make a hole with a gun perpendicular, to the name of this town in a desktop globe
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:29 AM on September 15, 2014 [4 favorites]
Just get on the floor and do the New Kids dance!
posted by kimberussell at 6:32 AM on September 15, 2014
posted by kimberussell at 6:32 AM on September 15, 2014
Go and lick some uncooked meat--T. Rex
posted by scratch at 6:34 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by scratch at 6:34 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
Digital Underground's Doowutchyalike has a bunch (full lyrics)
Just eat food, try not to be crude or rude
Kill the attitude, chill the serious mood
-------------------------------------------------
Now if you're hungry, get yourself something to eat
And if you're dirty, then go take a bath
Messed up the line?
Nope, sometimes I don't rhyme
Help yourself to a cracker, with a spread of cheddar cheese
Have a neck bone, you don't have to say please
Eat wutch ya like, yo, smell how ya like
----------------------------------------------------
Homegirls, for once, forget you got class
See a guy you like, just grab 'em in the biscuits
etc. etc.
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:39 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
Just eat food, try not to be crude or rude
Kill the attitude, chill the serious mood
-------------------------------------------------
Now if you're hungry, get yourself something to eat
And if you're dirty, then go take a bath
Messed up the line?
Nope, sometimes I don't rhyme
Help yourself to a cracker, with a spread of cheddar cheese
Have a neck bone, you don't have to say please
Eat wutch ya like, yo, smell how ya like
----------------------------------------------------
Homegirls, for once, forget you got class
See a guy you like, just grab 'em in the biscuits
etc. etc.
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:39 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
Let's go to the Knife Planet!
Don't cross the street in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle of the block
posted by tchemgrrl at 6:57 AM on September 15, 2014
Don't cross the street in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle in the middle of the block
posted by tchemgrrl at 6:57 AM on September 15, 2014
The Cramps' "The Crusher":
Do the Hammerlock
Do the Hammerlock
Do the Hammerlock you turkey necks -- everybody's doing it
Do the Eye Gouge
Do the Eye Gouge (etc)
All right you turkey necks, I'm gonna teach you how to do the Crusher, and if you don't learn it now I'm gonna get you
Now first you take your fist and you put it on your waist,
Then you squeeze your partner's head until she's blue in the face
Yeah do the Crusher
Do the Crusher
Do the Crusher you turkey necks
Everybody's doing it
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:13 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
Do the Hammerlock
Do the Hammerlock
Do the Hammerlock you turkey necks -- everybody's doing it
Do the Eye Gouge
Do the Eye Gouge (etc)
All right you turkey necks, I'm gonna teach you how to do the Crusher, and if you don't learn it now I'm gonna get you
Now first you take your fist and you put it on your waist,
Then you squeeze your partner's head until she's blue in the face
Yeah do the Crusher
Do the Crusher
Do the Crusher you turkey necks
Everybody's doing it
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:13 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime
When I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime freeze
There are tons of jazz/swing/blues songs that tell the listeners to dance or stop dancing.
I want everybody dancin just like I tell ya.
Now when I say hold of yourself, everybody get ready to stop.
And when I say stop, don’t move a peg.
And when I say get it, everybody do a boogie woogie.
....
Now when I say hold of yourself this time, y’all get ready to stop.
And when I say stop, don’t move! And when I say get it, everybody mess around!
etc.
-Pinetop's Boogie Woogie, Pinetop Perkins
Now, ah, when I say stop don't you move a peg
When I say go, just ah, shake your leg
And do the mess around
-Ray Charles, Mess Around
posted by aka burlap at 7:19 AM on September 15, 2014
When I say freeze you just freeze one time
When I say freeze y'all stop on a dime freeze
There are tons of jazz/swing/blues songs that tell the listeners to dance or stop dancing.
I want everybody dancin just like I tell ya.
Now when I say hold of yourself, everybody get ready to stop.
And when I say stop, don’t move a peg.
And when I say get it, everybody do a boogie woogie.
....
Now when I say hold of yourself this time, y’all get ready to stop.
And when I say stop, don’t move! And when I say get it, everybody mess around!
etc.
-Pinetop's Boogie Woogie, Pinetop Perkins
Now, ah, when I say stop don't you move a peg
When I say go, just ah, shake your leg
And do the mess around
-Ray Charles, Mess Around
posted by aka burlap at 7:19 AM on September 15, 2014
Open the door, Get on the floor, Everybody Walk the Dinosaur.
posted by soelo at 7:38 AM on September 15, 2014
posted by soelo at 7:38 AM on September 15, 2014
Potomac Avenue: "Somebody call 911! Shorty got a fever on the dancefloor" (not sure why that's an emergency)
Because of the proximity to other individuals on the dancefloor, the fever might have spread to other individuals. It's best to stop such outbreaks before they spread beyond the point of origin, or the whole region might get the fever.
Do the Ricky Bobby, pose for the frame
Do the Bartman
Do The Evolution (not so much a direction for dancing as it is a political statement, I think)
Do The Astral Plane ("badoobadoobadooba, badoobadoobadooba, badoobadoobadooba" - that's it.)
posted by filthy light thief at 7:54 AM on September 15, 2014
Because of the proximity to other individuals on the dancefloor, the fever might have spread to other individuals. It's best to stop such outbreaks before they spread beyond the point of origin, or the whole region might get the fever.
Do the Ricky Bobby, pose for the frame
Do the Bartman
Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.Do the 45
Whoa!
Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Shake it out, man!
Front to the back, to the side if you can, can.
Bartman!
45, yeah, do the 45Do the Bambi, come back and be mine
Come on now, girl, do the 45
Twist up a storm, baby, do the 45
Why did you twine it, baby? Do the 45
Hey, hey, hey
45, yeah, do the 45
Do The Evolution (not so much a direction for dancing as it is a political statement, I think)
Do The Astral Plane ("badoobadoobadooba, badoobadoobadooba, badoobadoobadooba" - that's it.)
posted by filthy light thief at 7:54 AM on September 15, 2014
And from a personal favorite, Javelin – Oh Centra
Oh, Centra-Do, I'm watching youposted by filthy light thief at 7:58 AM on September 15, 2014
Let's see what you can do
Let's do the barrel roll
Let's see the barrel roll
Girl, do that monkeyfoot
Let's see the monkeyfoot
Let's see the time machine
Now see the time machine
Let's go to the succulent
Girl, work that succulent down
Look through the looking glass
Look through the looking glass
Personally, I wanna see the wizard
Work that wizard now
And on to the sow cow
Their triple sow cow
Onto the sidle up
Off the wall, to the sidle up, man
Let's go to Joe's room
Let's go to Joe's room
Pass That Dutch by Missy Elliott has some pretty good ones
You can pass that dutch, or you can pass the dutchie on the left hand side.
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 8:08 AM on September 15, 2014 [3 favorites]
You can pass that dutch, or you can pass the dutchie on the left hand side.
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 8:08 AM on September 15, 2014 [3 favorites]
Take your baby by the hand
And make her do a high handstand
And take your baby by the heel
And do the next thing that you feel
Take your baby by the hair
And pull her close and there, there, there
And take your baby by the ears
And play upon her darkest fears
You do these things because you are so in phase and cool on craze.
posted by otters walk among us at 8:32 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
And make her do a high handstand
And take your baby by the heel
And do the next thing that you feel
Take your baby by the hair
And pull her close and there, there, there
And take your baby by the ears
And play upon her darkest fears
You do these things because you are so in phase and cool on craze.
posted by otters walk among us at 8:32 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
Bushwhack me with your love...baby.
"Attack Me with Your Love" by Cameo.)
posted by Atrahasis at 8:33 AM on September 15, 2014
"Attack Me with Your Love" by Cameo.)
posted by Atrahasis at 8:33 AM on September 15, 2014
Everybody go hotel, motel, Holiday Inn.
It might not sound like a command but when I saw them perform it the entire audience did, in fact, say "hotel, motel, Holiday Inn."
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:54 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
It might not sound like a command but when I saw them perform it the entire audience did, in fact, say "hotel, motel, Holiday Inn."
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:54 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
"Pretend your face is a Maserati" - Ted Nugent
posted by Knappster at 8:59 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Knappster at 8:59 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
Have we forgotten "pour some sugar on me"?
posted by Billiken at 9:56 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Billiken at 9:56 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
And from The King: "Do the clam. Everybody dig right in and do the clam ...".
I'll just take my zimmer and go, shall I!
posted by Logophiliac at 10:08 AM on September 15, 2014
I'll just take my zimmer and go, shall I!
posted by Logophiliac at 10:08 AM on September 15, 2014
also The Cramps: Don't eat stuff off the sidewalk
posted by yoHighness at 8:34 PM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by yoHighness at 8:34 PM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
Get it on, bang a gong, get it on.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:41 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:41 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
Put down that chainsaw and listen to me
posted by Banknote of the year at 5:39 PM on September 16, 2014
posted by Banknote of the year at 5:39 PM on September 16, 2014
Brand new one from the great people that brought you What Does the Fox Say: Do the trucker's hitch.
People of the world!
The time has come...
to tie this knot once and for all!
Bonitas
Show me the ropes!
On every dance floor across the world
Let's do the Trucker's Hitch
Are you ready?
Let's tie this knot!
Tie, tie, tie, tie, tie
This is how you do it!
posted by SugarAndSass at 9:59 AM on September 18, 2014
People of the world!
The time has come...
to tie this knot once and for all!
Bonitas
Show me the ropes!
On every dance floor across the world
Let's do the Trucker's Hitch
Are you ready?
Let's tie this knot!
Tie, tie, tie, tie, tie
This is how you do it!
posted by SugarAndSass at 9:59 AM on September 18, 2014
Response by poster: I came back into my own thread to add "Boogie with a suitcase" and "Shuffle with a shoeshine" from the inimitable Pop Muzik.
posted by mykescipark at 11:19 AM on September 19, 2014
posted by mykescipark at 11:19 AM on September 19, 2014
tallmiddleagedgeek: "You can pass that dutch, or you can pass the dutchie on the left hand side."
What's particularly great about this one is this:
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 1:53 PM on September 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
What's particularly great about this one is this:
The song was the band's first release on a major label. It was a cover version of two songs: "Gimme the Music" by U Brown, and "Pass the Kouchie" by The Mighty Diamonds, which deals with the recreational use of cannabis ("kouchie" being slang for a cannabis pipe).[1] For the cover version, the song's title was bowdlerized to "Pass the Dutchie", and all obvious drug references were removed from the lyrics; e.g., when the original croons "How does it feel when you got no herb?", the cover version refers to "food" instead.Yep, be sure to pass that Dutch oven on the left hand side!
"Dutchie" is used as a patois term to refer to a food cooking pot such as a Dutch oven in Jamaica and the Caribbean. It has since become a drug reference in itself, denoting a blunt stuffed with marijuana and rolled in a wrapper from a Dutch Masters cigar, since American and British listeners assumed that the term was a drug reference.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 1:53 PM on September 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
I can't believe no one has mentioned "Do the Yam", from 'Carefree', a Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers screwball comedy from 1938.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 9:03 PM on November 12, 2014
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 9:03 PM on November 12, 2014
« Older Getting those pesky butterflies out of my stomach. | Trying to make sense of my mom's post-hip... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by macadamiaranch at 9:05 PM on September 14, 2014 [17 favorites]