I am treated like I am a useless idiot at my job?
August 18, 2014 9:10 AM   Subscribe

I recently got a new job about three months ago. To be honest, I have never been treated worse than here. I dont know what to do. My last job lasted three years and I'm only 22. I have been yelled at, talked down to, humiliated in front of patients (medical field) and so on. I'm asked questions that any person with common sense would know the answer to.

I have had this job for three months. It is my first job in the medical field, I am just a receptionist. From day one, I was ignored by my boss. He only came up to ask me questions point-blank in a rude tone just to, I swear, hear me say I don't know what you mean. He also never welcomed me, was kind to me. It was hostility from the start.

The hostility has gotten better but he still scolds me like I'm an imbecile and acts like I should just know. The amount of knowledge I was assumed to have is ridiculous. This is my first ever job in this field. They knew this upon hiring me.

They were not supportive in my training days and threw me to the fire assuming I knew enough after one week and then flipping when I inevitably made mistakes. This company is in transition at the moment and they are trying to expand. They are also short on staffing and have lots and lots of people flooding in.

I know it is stress, but some days I get sick of being yelled at and embarrassed in front of people. There is another person there who is known to get nasty. She yelled at me in front of a patient and looks at me with utter disdain. I can only seem to think it is this role specifically that causes people to get angry since we control the flow of patients in the office. The other receptionist leaves in tears some days and the same person who comes up to me and yells at me viciously has actually done it to her for months. Granted she is not perfect, it is alarming.

I am already on eggshells, feel unhappy, and have intense anxiety before work every time the weekend ends. I'm nothing but nice but it's never enough. There is always something. I dont know what to do but everyone I explain the situation to says to run fast. Others, like my father, tell me to suck it up and let it go in one ear and out the other. I'm afraid this place will break me down. I dont want to be a quitter though...
posted by Chelsaroo650 to Human Relations (47 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Quit. Do not make excuses for these horrible people. You deserve to be treated with respect and valued for your contribution. Quit.
posted by scratch at 9:14 AM on August 18, 2014 [29 favorites]

Is there an HR department you can express your concerns to? There should be a grievance system to deal with this kind of behaviour. If there is not, and you do not want to have a direct conversation with the individual behaving in this way (and I wouldn't blame you!), feel free to look for work elsewhere. Its often easier to find work while you still have work, so I wouldn't quit immediately unless you are finding the situation too much.

The one thing you shouldn't do is just suck it up. There isn't an excuse for the way you have been treated.
posted by Cannon Fodder at 9:18 AM on August 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I've never regretted quitting a job that made me feel that way, even when it was difficult for me financially. You're worth more than this. Big hugs. You can do it.
posted by fiercecupcake at 9:19 AM on August 18, 2014 [8 favorites]

New job, then quit. If you can afford to go without a new job, then just quit. Do not suck it up, there are better jobs out there and you deserve more.
posted by epanalepsis at 9:21 AM on August 18, 2014 [16 favorites]

Leaving an abusive situation is not "quitting" and it doesn't mean you have weak character. It means you take care of yourself. Get a new job and walk on this one with as little notice as possible.
posted by rtha at 9:22 AM on August 18, 2014 [9 favorites]

Others, like my father, tell me to suck it up and let it go in one ear and out the other. I'm afraid this place will break me down. I dont want to be a quitter though...

I was sort of in a similar situation for many months. I tried to just not let it bother me. (Who cares? It's a job. Whatever.) But it did. And, I didn't want the experience to change me. (The intense negative emotions I felt, day after day.) And, I was just angry that they would "win" if I left.

Anyway, I had savings, and I was relatively sure it wouldn't destroy my career, so I left. It feels bleh to have let them "win." (Maybe you won't experience it like this.)

But, overall, I feel like it was the right choice, emotionally, in terms of the future I imagine for myself, and how I didn't want to be changed. Work can suck (I think it generally sucks), but it seems that working with psychotic assholes is not a necessity.

posted by zeek321 at 9:24 AM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Look for a new job immediately and leave, leave, leave.
posted by stoneandstar at 9:26 AM on August 18, 2014 [8 favorites]

I quit a job that upset me when I was 22, after six months of "sticking it out."

Quitting felt AMAZING. My only regret in retrospect is staying longer.

Leave this job and don't look back.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 9:26 AM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm afraid this place will break me down.

I consider myself a very strong person, but I have also been in this situation. I sucked it up for as long as I had to, and then I left after I had found another job.
2 other people also left this same company and were signed off sick for 6 months due to stress caused by being humiliated and belittled on a daily basis. Trust me, workplace bullying is a horrific thing and should not be tolerated.

Dreading going into work because you're getting yelled at on a daily basis isn't right.

Look for another job already, and leave when you've found one. Don't view it as "quitting", view it as getting away from a terrible toxic work environment. Seriously, life is too short for this kind of BS.
posted by JenThePro at 9:27 AM on August 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

You're 22. This will be among the many, many changes to come.
posted by humboldt32 at 9:27 AM on August 18, 2014 [6 favorites]

I stayed in a job with a boss similar to what you're describing (not as extreme but still incredibly rude and condescending even when he was the one who was wrong which frankly, was most of the time) for two years. I quit years ago, and let me tell you, handing him my resignation was one of the best moments of my life. Find a new job and quit.
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper at 9:29 AM on August 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

You may also want to use this as an opportunity to become more assertive. I wish I had done so in the past. If you are already close to leaving, there is little to lose by saying things like: "Stop. I do not appreciate how you are talking to me. Please use respect here in the office.".
posted by toastchee at 9:31 AM on August 18, 2014 [17 favorites]

Don't let it get you down! Some people just aren't good at relating to others, or maybe feel best when they take out their aggression on people. It's unfortunate when they're in a position of power over you. You can always quit, so before that happens, maybe you can use the situation to your advantage in some way. I think that you can take this as an opportunity to learn to set boundaries. When you're yelled at or demeaned, try saying: "You seem upset." When your boss starts speaking to you in a demeaning tone, just smile and say, "You seem grumpy!", as though they are normally a positive person and this is something that doesn't happen often. If they try and escalate their anger and aggression, tell them: "I'm sorry, but the tone of voice you're using is making me feel bad and uncomfortable. I want to do my job well, and I'm working hard. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm learning and I'm new at this. When you speak to me like that, it makes me feel as though the situation is negative."

If, after all of this, things don't improve--definitely quit. :)
posted by semaphore at 9:34 AM on August 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I had a summer job in college similar to what you're describing. By the end of the summer, myself and one other employee were the only two who hadn't either been fired or quit. I don't know what I did exactly with the dollars I made in that last couple of weeks, but I still remember almost 15 years later how the insulting comments from my boss made me feel. Staying was so not worth it. Just get out as soon as you can.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 9:37 AM on August 18, 2014

If you quit, you're the one who wins. You're walking out with your head high, in the knowledge that you are worth more than that job, and you're also sticking them with the consequences of their own shitty behavior.

They win if you stay. You have only been there a little while, but it still takes time and money to hire and train a new person. If they actually wanted you gone, they would come up with a reason to fire you or let you go--but they don't. They want you to stay because replacing you will cost them.

Let it cost them. The fuckers deserve it.

Now, all of this is contigent on you being financially able to quit, but given that you're considering it already I'm guessing you are.

Start looking for a new job immediately and it might get your father off of your back. You sound like you might be a little worried that people like your father will think you're being weak for leaving, but in my view, being brave enough to leave a situation like this is the opposite of weak. People are afraid of change even if the status quo is really and truly awful. You can show him that you're a competent, tough adult by making a firm decision and carrying it through like a boss.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 10:08 AM on August 18, 2014 [28 favorites]

Speaking as someone who 'stuck it out' with an abusive boss for at least two months longer than I should have; you are saving so much money in future therapy bills if you leave now.
posted by ActionPopulated at 10:19 AM on August 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

Someone I was close to worked for an abusive boss for several years. It affected him for a long, long time. Cut your losses now. Your father is wrong.
posted by desjardins at 10:30 AM on August 18, 2014 [13 favorites]

Like many others, I was in this situation. I was actually relieved when I was fired, because I didn't have to deal with the toxic, bullying atmosphere. It affected me for a long time and made it hard for me to trust my new coworkers in the awesome company I now work for. I only wish I had quit earlier, but it was great to be able to receive UI at least.

Here's another tip: look for your next job at a company with a stated No Assholes Rule.
posted by so much modern time at 10:40 AM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Someone I was close to worked for an abusive boss for several years. It affected him for a long, long time.

This is so true. It's not about being "tough." Abuse can have long-lasting consequences. There are people who think you should put up with anything for a buck, but either they don't understand that your current situation is beyond the pale, they think you're exaggerating (as people often do with victims of abuse), or they are just flat out wrong.

In the past, I worked for an annoying, mean person who was always having tantrums and couldn't handle work relationships. After a year, I decided to look for a new job and I moved on. This person was only a fraction as cruel as what you describe. Look for a new job now!
posted by stoneandstar at 10:42 AM on August 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

I worked for a nasty, abusive boss just out of college. My parents told me to suck it up, too - that I would be a fool to leave such a great job, that no one would hire me if it looked like I changed jobs too often. (Note: my mother doesn't work outside of the home, and my father is his own boss.) Concerned that they hadn't convinced me, they suggested that I talk to my uncle, a VERY successful businessman. Uncle CEO said that it sounded horrible and I should leave right away. I listened to him, quit immediately, and couldn't be happier about my decision.
posted by equipoise at 10:47 AM on August 18, 2014 [8 favorites]

Having stuck out an abusive work situation for 2 years (and who's now trying to 'undo' the negativity that all caused), I say be more assertive and/or quit. Leaving screws them over, especially if they're already short-staffed, so it's certainly not doing them any favors. Definitely contact HR (if there is one) about your experiences - HR may not realize them being short-staffed has to do with the abuse the rest of the staff is dishing out.

There is nothing right about a job sending people home in tears consistently. If you can afford to quit this job - do so - and let them know precisely why*.

* YMMV, but I did this at my last job in a very calm/professional way and HR was very appreciative.
posted by stubbehtail at 10:54 AM on August 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

Working in the medical field in any capacity, you need to develop a thick skin - there will always be an abusive provider, you'll always be the one that the shit rolls downhill to. It sucks, I know however there is a large difference between one abusive provider that is notoriously an asshat to everyone and an abusive workplace. This sounds like that latter, and I wouldn't stick it out.

Like everyone, I've worked in an abusive workplace for too long and it absolutely destroyed my self esteem for years. I still work in the medical field, but the one thing I learned is that abusive providers are everywhere however most people just learn to deal with them, letting it go in one ear and out the other. However between coworkers there is almost an air of camaraderie/compassion when you need them for something - if your workplace doesn't have this, I wouldn't stick it out, you'll burn out and be worse for wear at the end of the day.
posted by lpcxa0 at 10:55 AM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Write a thoughtfully worded letter for HR, and at the same time polish up your resume. Spend a good week or so working on this. Work up the gumption and next time you're treated badly, walk out. Optional: say "I refuse to be treated like this" on your way out. No need to engage in discussion, leave room for debate, or otherwise act like this is negotiable. Drop off the letter at HR on your way out. Spend the rest of the day calling temp agencies and getting interviews. In your interviews, minimize that the job was a bad fit. That'll tide you over with similar work (including a taste of other receptionist and low-level admin jobs, and what to reasonably expect). Keep looking for permanent positions, and rejoice in leaving your awful job behind. Quitting can be good for you.
posted by tapir-whorf at 11:00 AM on August 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

Crap like that can ruin the positive feel of a good and contributory job. Quit, leave, get fired, turn in a two weeks notice, whatever; just get out of there.

And the people that work there; and are aware of the workplace environment . Shameful. .
posted by buzzman at 11:16 AM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Others, like my father, tell me to suck it up and let it go in one ear and out the other.

This is the kind of dumb, easy advice that people give because they're too insensitive to think about what it actually means.

You're young. If you can quit without winding up homeless, do it. You will be better off.
posted by winna at 11:25 AM on August 18, 2014 [5 favorites]

HR guy here - let HR know once you've secured a new job about the treatment you've received.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but you deserve so much better.
posted by Twicketface at 11:28 AM on August 18, 2014

Make decisions from a place of strength. Don't let fears of being a "quitter" or seeming weak influence how you handle this. You're the one who has to put up with the situation day in and day out -- not your father, not anyone else. Look out for yourself.

I literally walked out of a job that had the most toxic people, the most toxic dynamic with no notice, no job lined up. Even though I had the wonderful luck of being randomly offered a great job on the spot one week later, I wouldn't recommend what I did. I do advise that whatever you choose to do, be prepared to live with the consequences.

Best of luck to you.
posted by tackypink at 11:39 AM on August 18, 2014

I don't want to be a quitter though...

What? Is this a thing now? Do you really think you're obligated to stay at an abusive job, or in an abusive relationship, or in a building that's on fire because otherwise you'll be a "quitter"? Will the Quitter Police come and take you away?

There is no Quitter Police. Be a strong person who has a minimum standard for how they will accept being treated. Quit. If you can at all afford to do so, quit now and then worry about getting a new job. If not, get a new job and quit.

And then get some therapy. You shouldn't even have to ask if this is okay.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:44 AM on August 18, 2014 [8 favorites]

It sounds like you need to quit. More importantly, you also need to learn to stand up for yourself. This is the perfect job for that.

From now until your last day, don't let anyone talk rudely to you without responding in some way. It is perfectly OK to tell someone, "please don't talk to me in that tone of voice or talk to me like I’m an idiot. I treat you with courtesy and respect and I expect you to treat me the same way." It does not matter who it is - your boss, a colleague, a patient or whomever. It is also OK to walk away from someone who is yelling, simply turn around and walk away. If they ask where you’re going, tell them you’re giving them time to calm down and to come back when they can speak in a civil manner.

Remind your boss and co-workers that you haven’t been trained on something, especially when they start being difficult because you don’t know something. Be assertive and do not apologize for not knowing how to do what you haven’t been trained to do. “Please don’t criticize me for not being psychic. I have not been trained on how xyz thingie.” Show you eagerness to learn, document the steps so you’ll have the info the next time, and job hunt like crazy when you get home. You want to be the smartest, most capable person that ever worked there. And when you quit, it will be with a shitload of knowledge that they’ll have to watch walk out the door.

Stop being nice, don't apologize for not knowing everything. People will not like you more or treat you better. Be professional, not apologectic. Walking away when you're treated like shit doesn't make you a quitter. It makes you not a sadistic idiot. Walk away from jobs, people, signficant others, family members, anyone who thinks it's OK to treat you badly.
posted by shoesietart at 11:45 AM on August 18, 2014 [3 favorites]

Nth-ing what everyone else is saying. It's perfectly ok to leave a horrible situation.

Others, like my father, tell me to suck it up and let it go in one ear and out the other.
Growing up in a historically "blue collar" city, I remember hearing stuff like this- my own dad and my friend's dad teasing and criticizing me for leaving a job I hated after only a few months.

Here's the thing: They weren't teasing me for being lazy or giving up income, because I had already found another job that I liked better *and* that paid more. But somehow it was still "wrong" for me to quit the shitty job. Because real "working men" never try to stand up for themselves or better their situation- they meekly roll over and take abuse from whatever monster boss they happened to get stuck with for the next 40 years, and then tell their kids they're obligated to do the same lest they be thought of as "quitters."

It's insidious brainwashing of the poor and middle-class by the rich.
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:49 AM on August 18, 2014 [12 favorites]

In situations like this where I'm stuck sucking something up, I do some quick and dirty math to make me feel better where I'm at or give me a push to let it go.

So, I'll just throw out the number of 12 dollars an hour for an eight hour day...If you make 12 bucks an hour, you are getting paid 20 cents per minute to put up with a bunch of bullshit. Now, to me, that's not enough. You'd have to be paying me much more per minute to tolerate a bunch of cranky assholes instead of my team. At least one dollar per minute to start, because I need to be paid a lot of money to deal with assholes regularly. Don't sell yourself short.

Aaand, there is no such thing as just a receptionist. The receptionist is the heartbeat of any office, the face of the organization, the go-to person. Piss off the receptionist person and see how fast nothing gets done for you.

You are fully within your rights to ask to be spoken to in a professional manner. People creating a "hostile work environment" for you can be sued, so while there, I would start to document, document, document.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 11:50 AM on August 18, 2014

I should say, the company can be sued and they don't want that. You can do better, you don't have to deal with this, a better job awaits you.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 11:53 AM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Nthing quitting, at a minimum as soon as you have a new job lined up. If you can swing it financially, quit now.

Also nthing that no, quitting this job would not be the "weak" thing to do. It's actually a very strong, responsible thing to do for yourself and your career. Staying in an abusive work environment has long term negative consequences on your health and self esteem. This is also potentially stunting your career. You should be growing your skills and they should be training/mentoring you. That's not happening here. These sorts of environments can also do a number on your work ethic, which is too precious a commodity to lose. You don't want this impacting your attitude in future jobs.

Sure, there will always be at least a few difficult people where ever you go. However, in the working environment that you want to be in, they will be in the minority, will not be abusive to the degree you are describing here, and they will not include your boss.
posted by jazzbaby at 11:59 AM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Chances are you're filling the shoes of someone who was so competent that they stopped thinking about all things related to your position. Having to deal with any issues, owing to your inexperience with their particular system, is new and aggravating to them.

I'm with shoesietart: address their rudeness directly, rather than merely sucking it up. The only qualification is that I would attempt, whenever possible, to deal with rude coworkers out of site of the patients and other patrons. "Unprofessional" is going to be the word to go to here. Always have specific examples in your pocket for any claim you're about to make of bad behavior. Take notes if you have to-- those could come in handy later; nobody ever willingly acknowledges being the asshole (and assholes are especially unwilling, because they're assholes), and well, it's probably not going to come to a lawsuit, but if it did, you'll probably want to have evidence of the bad behavior, but also the ways in which you tried to remedy the problems the way people normally try to remedy them: emails to management and offending parties, and any acknowledgements from them.

Once they see you're making lists, they'll have to rethink their odds of hearing from your lawyer, as it were.
posted by Sunburnt at 12:03 PM on August 18, 2014

If there *is* an HR person (and you are in the US and you feel like dealing with this), tell them that you are have been abused enough that you have come to believe that you are being harassed and are starting the process of filing a complaint about this as a hostile workplace. Name the people who are abusing you and indicate that you are documenting instances of abuse. These words (harassment, hostile workplace, documentation) will get people to take notice.
posted by jasper411 at 12:13 PM on August 18, 2014

This is harrassment. Document everything and file a formal complaint. In the UK we have the concept of "constructive dismissal" whereby an employer's atitude and behaviour is tantamount to dismissal but rather than doing to do so they are trying to get you to resign. You must have something similar.

Get enough evidence, get another job and leave. Sue if/when as you are able.
posted by epo at 12:26 PM on August 18, 2014

I had a similar job and it was hell. At the time I stuck it out for too long because I needed the money (yet wasn't paid very much) and didn't feel confident that I could find another job because of how low my morale was from their abuse. In hindsight I've realized that my happiness was worth far more than they were paying me to put up with their temper tantrums and bumbling micro-management. I also realized that their abuse made me believe that I was a bad employee when that was simply untrue.

My advice? You can take control of the situation right now by recognizing that this won't work out in the long term and that it's not you--it's them! Their hostility is a reflection of their incompetence and toxic worldview and it is not normal. I think you need to find a new job because their conditions are intolerable.

In an ideal world, I would try to find another job first and quit. However, I don't think you should feel ashamed if you have to quit first and then find another job, especially if the work environment is so toxic that you can't take it any more.

Good luck to you. You'll be much happier when you work with sane adults like yourself.
posted by FelineoidEntity at 1:11 PM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

"The other receptionist leaves in tears some days and the same person who comes up to me and yells at me viciously has actually done it to her for months."

If that's normal, it's not the kind of normal I'd want to be associated with. Consider this another random internet person telling you to find a new job as quickly as you can.
posted by beep-bop-robot at 1:52 PM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

You know that emergency savings that you have? This is the perfect time to THINK about it. What's the worst that could happen - you lose your job and have to find a new one. Just this thought alone will relieve a little of the anxiety. I know because I've been there and it's tough.

Then, start looking for a new job and tell yourself that this hellhole is just temporary. Try to view it a at arms length if you can. It does really help.

In the meantime, go about your business but document each incident in Evernote where it is time and dated stamped. If you are demeaned in public, take a breath and in a low but strong voice, calmly say "please do not speak to me like that."

FWIW, I work in a Biotech and the higher the food chain, the bigger the crazy becomes.
posted by floweredfish at 2:42 PM on August 18, 2014

HR + Job Hunting.

It took me about six months to work up the nerve to file an HR grievance at a new job. I'm so glad I did. I don't give a shit if that's how they've been doing business as normal up until I arrived; now that I'm there, I expect to be treated with a little dignity. You deserve that, too.

Couple this with job hunting, aggressively, so you can ultimately exit the situation. An HR grievance should give you a little respite, though, and a sense of justice.
posted by mibo at 2:51 PM on August 18, 2014 [2 favorites]

Next time it happens, look the abuser solidly in the eye and say, "do not EVER speak to me in that tone of voice again. I deserve respect and consideration." If it happens again, gather your things and leave saying, "I refuse to work in an abusive environment. You may forward my pay stub to my home.

Even better, get a new job and quit without notice. Start by removing your personal items. It's hard to flounce out if you've got to get a box to put your shit in. Just take your picture of your cats and boogie.

Good luck. Don't take any shit from anyone!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 3:13 PM on August 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

Staying in a job where you're treated badly isn't just bad for you now; it's also bad for you at your next job. The coping mechanisms you're learning now, to help you get through the day in this toxic environment, will be actively harmful for you in a new, sane job. You're learning things like keeping your head down, not speaking out, hiding mistakes, avoiding supervisors/bosses... these are all things that will be huge handicaps to you in your working career.

Get out now, while you still know how to respond to kindness and sanity in the workplace.
posted by kythuen at 5:08 PM on August 18, 2014 [4 favorites]

Don't even quit. Just don't show up one day, and forever. Don't list them on your resume -- say you were unemployed & looking. 3 months is nothing.
posted by LonnieK at 6:02 PM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Look at it this way: There's no chance you're going to get a good reference from this stupid place whether you leave now or later, so every day you stay there you're just wasting time from the standpoint of finding a new good job where you're treated civilly.

There are creeps here and there and sometimes they gather in groups - you just happened to have stumbled into a crowd of them. Just move on and be glad to be free of the toxic environment.

Good luck to you.
posted by aryma at 10:05 PM on August 18, 2014 [1 favorite]

Quitting a crappy job with rude people is not being a "quitter" in the negative sense of the word. It's saying "Eff this!"

But if you want to stick it out while looking for a better job, then you can try some of the following things to keep your cool and remain calm:

If they yell at you in front of a patient, calmly and politely say "Yelling at me in front a patient is not a professional response to this situation. I was not trained on x,y,z, so please take the time to train me properly and I will make sure to do x,y,z. Please let me know when you've calmed down and we can talk then. Thanks!" and smile calmly at the patient in a way that says "sorry that they are so crazy!"

If your boss comes up to you and demands things in a bossy way or starts scolding you, don't react by getting startled and apologizing, etc. Say "good morning Boss. How are you doing? I'm doing fine too, thanks. Now I am not sure what you are asking, because so-and-so never took the time to train me on this, but I will be glad to find out for you. Thanks!"

If there is more scolding, then again remind them that raising their voice at you is disrespectful and is not likely to bring faster results - can they please come back when they've calmed down and talk to you calmly? If they are not happy with how something is done, then can spend more time training you.

I love killing people with politeness and kindness and making people see how ridiculous and embarrassing for them their own behavior is. Remain calm on the outside (even if you are fuming inside!) and respond to them as if they are the idiots by re-iterating the issue and showing that they are making the issue worse with their behavior.

Good luck!
posted by never.was.and.never.will.be. at 11:18 AM on August 19, 2014

Look for another job/quit asap. I am also 22 and recently left a job with an abusive boss - at the time it consumed my whole life, I was stressed all the time and it was actually making me ill. One day after a meeting when my boss humiliated me I came out shaking so hard I could barely type. That was the moment I realised Ihad to get out.

You don't have to put up with this crap. At the time I felt trapped/worrying about bills but you know what, we're young! We can do anything we want! I am now in a job I love with an employer who genuinely cares about his workforce and who energises employees rather than bullying them. Try not to lose your cool if possible and start thinking about an escape route.
posted by Kat_Dubs at 10:16 AM on August 22, 2014

Response by poster: A quick update: I have, in fact, quit this job. Randomly, a connection from my previous job contacted me via social media requesting my resume. I got a job in a week and a half making much more money. I gave notice last Tuesday and everyone was talking about it. My boss apologized for his behavior and has been sugary sweet ever since he found out I was leaving. It is actually rather uncomfortable... Everyone seems to be asking me why I'm leaving. The multitude of answers they have suggested are that it's not a team atmosphere, our boss reacts quickly and meanly, the other provider is very nasty, a lack of support on all sides, etc. These are all correct. If they are that easy to pinpoint, we have a problem!

The thing that really threw me for a loop was that I thought the office manager would be the most understanding, she was the boss I believed was the nicest, and she was not at all. The day after I gave notice, she called me wanting to know why I am leaving and her tone was completely different. She seemed smug and not genuine in her concern. The next time she came to visit she was discussing schedule changes with the other people up front due to me leaving and when I was across the way she said "I know these hours are not ideal, but they are just for the time being. I'm sorry that somebody is leaving us HIGH AND DRY." Then she turned to me and said "Ha, she doesn't even know how to react. It's okay, it was a joke, you can LAUGH."

Except nobody laughed. All I can say, in conclusion, is WTF? No professionalism to be found. I am so thankful I found an out. Thank you ALL for the support. It is unanimous and I knew I couldn't be imagining things.
posted by Chelsaroo650 at 6:52 PM on September 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

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