Book recommendations for essentially a Neutral Evil druid murderess...

August 11, 2014 5:24 PM

Dear Mefi, I need some animal vengeance reading to soothe me.

I'm most of the way through the Aubrey/Maturin novels, and here some douche (Fielding, I think) tells a fucking fantastic story at dinner about some ship frozen in who caught and were cooking a walrus when a mama polar bear rolls up with two cubs in tow, but completely harmless. They feed them some blubber and I'm all awww, and then I'm treated to a fucking horrible 2 page account about them letting her feed the cubs and then shooting them dead while she runs around injured trying to lift them up and take them away, and all her efforts, and then they shoot her too. Cool story, bro. You just killed a tiny part of Stephen probably only kept alive by the laudanum and cocaine.

(I'm so fucking done with these fucks. It's only because of the magic of Stephen's recent Buddhist hike that I'm over Desolation Island, when they all ran around literally clubbing seals for the fun of it.)

Flip to 10 minutes of crying later when I'm throwing down the book and in an epiphany reaching for Dan Simmons' The Terror for some most excellent sailor carnage at the paws of a goddamn supernaturally-monster polar bear. This is perfect. I get to read - rather suspensefully, I think! - about these bitches getting torn apart one by one. Really grizzly. I'm delighted. (

Can you recommend some more animal attack reading for me to soothe my hatred of mankind? Jaws is next on my list. I do love good horror, so the more horror-like the better. I would like it to be horrible. And obviously minimal animal death. Do more books like this exist?

posted by Sayuri. to Media & Arts (10 answers total)

Best answer: Have you read WE3? It's basically Homeward Bound plus animal vengeance. Super-emotional and super-gory, as well as beautiful (if you can stomach it).
posted by grobstein at 5:36 PM on August 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

""The Birds" is a novelette by British writer Daphne du Maurier, first published in her 1952 collection The Apple Tree. It is the story of a farmhand, his family, and his community that are attacked by flocks of seabirds in kamikaze missions."

Also, flesh-eating beetle cam. "Warning: This video is graphic, showing the decomposition of a specimen. It may not be suitable for young or sensitive viewers."
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:34 PM on August 11, 2014

Watership Down?

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH
posted by Melismata at 9:06 PM on August 11, 2014

Cujo? It is a teeny bit sad because the dog wants to be good.
posted by Brainy at 9:49 PM on August 11, 2014

Best answer: The Swarm should be right up your alley, with its "creatures of the ocean declare war on humanity" plot. I was reading it when a typhoon hit the low-lying island I was on; that night that turned out to be one of the scariest of my life.
posted by miorita at 3:00 AM on August 12, 2014

Response by poster: Unfortunately The Birds and Cujo are probably the exact things an animal lover does not want to read.

Perhaps The Terror is an anomaly.
posted by Sayuri. at 7:11 AM on August 12, 2014

That Hideous Strength.
posted by michaelh at 8:49 AM on August 12, 2014

Best answer: It's not exactly along the lines you've requested, but Sheri Tepper's The Family Tree might be satisfying.
posted by Lexica at 9:56 PM on August 14, 2014

Best answer: I have never read this book, but keep meaning to: The Animal-Lover's Book of Beastly Murder.
posted by bettafish at 7:36 PM on August 15, 2014

Response by poster: This will teach me to Ask when I am agitated; I came on a little strong there. Shutting it down, thanks guys!
posted by Sayuri. at 1:36 PM on August 20, 2014