All Your Vow Are Belong to Us
July 19, 2014 8:11 PM   Subscribe

My youngest brother is getting married next month and, through the oft-celebrated-on-MeFi wonders of a Universal Life Church ordination, I'm set to perform the service. My brother and his spouse-to-be are both video game aficionados. I'd like to subtly insert some clever video game/nerd culture references into their vows. I'm not personally a gamer, though, so this stuff doesn't come naturally. What's more, I'd like to sort of walk a line such that said references would not be so over-the-top, eye-roll inducing, or confusing that non-gamers would be confused or irritated. Ideas?
posted by DirtyOldTown to Media & Arts (21 answers total)
If your brother's name is Mario - there is so much material here about the princess finally being in this castle.
posted by Nanukthedog at 8:46 PM on July 19, 2014

"Knowing that it's dangerous to go alone, do you, (name) take this (man | woman) to be your lawful wedded (husband | wife)?"

(You could adapt "dangerous" to be something a little less conspicuous and I think people "in the know" would still get it.)
posted by kagredon at 8:56 PM on July 19, 2014 [3 favorites]

As a fellow ULC minister, I've incorporated the Zelda vows before as @kagredon mentions. For tabletop gamers, I've done a Settlers of Catan resource exchange instead of a ring exchange.

For gamers, I bet you could sneak in a konami code fairly subtlely. Whether times are going up up, or going down down, you should look at what you have left, for it is right. Look to your left, look to your right. You'll find that everything will B alright. A select few have chosen this path that you start today.
posted by miasma at 9:06 PM on July 19, 2014 [34 favorites]

At the end of the ceremony: "The bride and groom hope to see you all at the reception at (time, location, etc.). There will be cake."
posted by mbrubeck at 9:22 PM on July 19, 2014 [7 favorites]

Response by poster: I hate to be a pain, but I really have only the vaguest passing familiarity with video game stuff. Can y'all provide context so I can get the jokes, too?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:48 PM on July 19, 2014 [1 favorite]

Miasma is referencing the konami code (genius!).
posted by radioamy at 11:12 PM on July 19, 2014

And the cake reference is from the game Portal where evil AI ocasionally tries to lure the heroine into traps by promising cake. Other survivors have left warnings that "the cake is a lie".
posted by Iteki at 11:19 PM on July 19, 2014

The lyrics in this video could give you some ideas.
posted by artychoke at 11:36 PM on July 19, 2014

Are you a bad enough dude to take this man/woman as your ...
posted by mbrock at 12:07 AM on July 20, 2014

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here for great justice to witness blah blah.

From the ancient game Zero Wing, wherein you are exhorted to take off every zig for great justice, later immortalized in the All Your Base meme.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:19 AM on July 20, 2014 [2 favorites]

Maybe something like, "Just as Mario found his Princess Peach, as Link found his Zelda, and as Pac-Man found his Ms... " Corny as hell, but even the non-gamers would probably get the gist.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 12:47 AM on July 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Have either of them ever mentioned a game by name, or have you seen a title of one they've played? We can give you well-known geeky late-80's-era video game references all day, but it might come off as corny or inauthentic if you're referencing generic tropes instead of things that they have actually shared.

That said, the Konami code is a really good idea.
posted by Mayor West at 4:16 AM on July 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'll just say that you should probably run this by your brother and future SIL. As much as they like games, they may want a proscribed wedding ritual that's solemn and formal. Or they may not, but the ceremony should be what THEY want.

When Husbunny and I got married we had a rabbi and our minister from the UU church we belonged to. We told the rabbi "we want the most traditional Jewish ceremony we can have, but it's important that it's short." He worked with us beautifully such that my mother said, "I hope it was Christian enough for Husbunny's parents, because it was Jewish enough for me." Our minister, she was kind of a jerk. We told her, "We want the traditional Christian ceremony, Do you, Love is Patient, and nothing more." She went off script, she started off by telling the congregation that we weren't planning to have children (which we hadn't discussed with our families) then she did a Navajo call to the elements, basically she threw in every weird thing that SHE thought our wedding needed. I was more than miffed.

Perhaps the bride and groom want to do a short version of their own vows and they'll do the gaming stuff that matters to them. But more likely, they'd rather just do the traditional thing, so that everyone can get to the reception.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:29 AM on July 20, 2014

One of the vows can include "do you swear to carry his/her burdens..."

This is a reference to the game Skyrim. One of the first and most popular followers you can acquire is a warrior named Lydia. When you ask her to carry some of your loot she says "I am sworn to carry your burdens..." in a sarcastic and exasperated way. It has become a low-level meme, but isn't as overplayed as "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee."
posted by ejs at 7:13 AM on July 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Ruthless Bunny, I was asked to do this specifically so that I could write the thing and make their wedding like mine was. Mine was seven minutes long in its entirety with a couple a well-placed Simpsons references ("for richer or for poorer... and 'for poorer' is underlined.") So I should be fine as long as the overall spirit is basic and quick.

So far Konami code and the Portal/cake thing are in. I'd love to find one more funny but not glaringly obvious one.

I could probably stand to ask which their favorite games are, yeah. Though sitting through that conversation with my brother will probably be something I should have several days of food and water on hand before I undertake...
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:19 AM on July 20, 2014 [1 favorite]

Something about may they together continue rolling all their experiences into a giant ball/star of happiness, à la Katamari Damacy?
posted by trig at 11:05 AM on July 20, 2014

"Promise to take this man in sickness and in health and arrows to the knee?"
posted by Wild_Eep at 3:52 PM on July 20, 2014

And throw in something about "2-Player Co-op" (Two-player cooperative play happens when both players have to work together, rather than compete against each other.)
posted by Wild_Eep at 3:54 PM on July 20, 2014

See also: Anything from this page.
posted by Wild_Eep at 3:57 PM on July 20, 2014

This really depends on what their favorite games are. A lot of these memes only work if you've played the game. So ask them! Or, (not recommended,) throw in a "Duke Nukem" quote like "It's time to (marry these two people) and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum."
posted by sninctown at 5:41 PM on July 20, 2014

I could probably stand to ask which their favorite games are, yeah. Though sitting through that conversation with my brother will probably be something I should have several days of food and water on hand before I undertake...

Send him an email.
posted by CathyG at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2014

« Older Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?   |   What's going on with these plaster walls? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.