Spontaneous Female Arousal
June 13, 2014 6:12 PM   Subscribe

I'm curious to know what's going on with my body. I'm enjoying very high sex drive the last 6 months, ever since my 7th month of pregnancy. I thought it was a third trimester thing, but I wanted my husband 5 days postpartum. So what's going on?

I'd like to keep this thread somewhat serious.

I don't have PGAD, PSAS or RGS, which sound awful. I don't have spontaneous orgasms driving the car or anything, and orgasm as I always have. The actual sex is great, I'm more willing to try new things, but the sensations aren't markedly different from before my drive spike, except I'm a lot wetter. I've never been low drive, really, but never wanted it multiple times a day like now, and feel like I'm going to climb up a wall if I go 3 days between sessions.

I'll find myself with a female boner when not thinking about my husband or anything sexual at all. I can feel my vagina elongating and I want it filled. Sometimes it's mildly frustrating. I have also have had my first sex dreams in my life.

Other info
--early 30s
--had a baby boy. I hear raised testosterone from carrying a son can cause high drive
--not my first kid
--symptoms in 3rd trimester and pp comparable to part of my regular cycle leading up to ovulation--very wet slippery mucous, etc.--except I wasn't ovulating, obviously
--cycle has returned last month and everything seems regular, drive hasn't decreased
--nursing on demand, around the clock (yes, and my cycle returned. Been there, done that, LAM doesn't work for me...)

This isn't a problem, just wondering if there is an answer besides "hormones." A friend said her drive skyrocketed in her 30s, so maybe it's unrelated to baby...
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (6 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Probably not an answer besides hormones, honestly. And it's different for everyone, every time, as I'm sure you've heard.

My pregnancies and postpartum times were also both markedly different from one another, so hopefully your partner won't set expectations too high if you go for another one. My younger child is ten and my husband is still wistful about how different my first pregnancy was from the second.
posted by padraigin at 6:28 PM on June 13, 2014

In my early to mid-30s my sex drive went through the roof, which I can only imagine is also hormonal (with the body telling you to BREED RIGHT NOW before it's too late). Either way, enjoy it while it lasts.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 7:00 PM on June 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm 25, had a baby at 24, and had a similar experience. It never bothered either one of us enough to look for a reason.

I believe that hormones while you're pregnant do increase your sex drive. And then, once you have the baby, especially if you nurse, your body releases even more hormones that are specifically geared toward bonding. If your husband is making you feel good about your body while it is also full of these chemicals, it makes sense that you would continue to crave these feelings. It can be as strong as drugs!
posted by Night_owl at 7:17 PM on June 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

You might want gto read up on Oxytocin.
posted by tanktop at 4:10 AM on June 14, 2014

I don't know what other reason beyond hormones there would be. It's okay to talk to your doctor about this especially if it's impeding your life.

I had an enjoyable surge in hormones during my pregnancy that ended with baby arrival. Took me three years before I came back to what felt like my "normal." Honestly, I feel hormones rule us. We might as well be infected with a parasite who directs us like puppets.*

IANAD, just a puppet.
posted by amanda at 8:03 AM on June 14, 2014

I did a lot of reading on sexual subjects when I was in therapy and in the years following that. I cannot recall the name of the book but I did read about a woman with sort of a similar experience that was not attributable to hormones. The woman began having multiple orgasms with, I think, her second husband. She said that it ended up being sort of funny because she would wake him up for more sex and he was going to work tired and kind of nicely having "Oh, not again" kinds of reactions. He was not ugly about it but was clearly feeling sort of put upon.

She said she went to her doctor to see "if something had slipped" because this just did not seem normal (and her doctor gave her the deer in the headlights look). My recollection is that, basically, her second husband was just a nice guy who treated her really well and she stopped having any emotional barriers to really, really enjoying it.

I similarly stopped having trouble reaching orgasm when some of my own emotional issues were resolved and have had other related experiences with regards to some men just treating me better than others and me being, thus, more responsive with that specific person. So I am clear this is a real thing -- that a man being good to a woman and making her feel very safe and loved/well cared for and so forth can make a woman more free and responsive, sexually.

So I will suggest that one possible non-hormonal answer is that your husband is just being really good to you here lately, you have thus lost any doubts or insecurities or whatever that may have been suppressing your sex drive and the result is more hunger for sex. This is a known phenomenon, though it doesn't seem to get written about very much.

I will also reiterate what others have said: It is entirely possible this is just hormonal.
posted by Michele in California at 11:13 AM on June 14, 2014 [1 favorite]

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