Could our older dog become better when our younger dog is adopted out?
October 28, 2005 5:56 AM Subscribe
Can giving up a younger (dominant) dog help to mellow out our older (skittish, clingy) dog?
I have roughly the opposite question that was posed here. We have two dogs that we love alot, but both have shown some uncertainty around our baby. Things have gotten to a point where I think the younger dog - 5 years old - needs to be out of our house. She is full of energy, and always has been, and has knocked our kid over several times. I am afraid one of those times my kid will crack open her brain. The younger dog also growls at the kid at odd times, which freaks me out. (She is otherwise an absurdly sweet and affectionate dog.)
I talked to a no-kill shelter, which has agreed to take her in and try to find her a home. If my wife and I agree on this course of action, I will feel better.
One issue that will help determine whether she goes to the shelter is what the effects may be on our older dog. The older dog is very sweet, but very clingy. She has also shown some hesitancy around our kid, and in the past year bit a houseguest.
We got the younger dog when she was a puppy and the older dog was 1. We thought the younger dog would be a good friend to the older one, but the older dog has never done more than tolerate the younger one. From the outset, she seemed annoyed that we brought another animal in. Also, the younger dog is a ravenous eater of food and bones, which has turned the older dog into one as well, because she does not want to lose her food/treat by not immediately eating it.
I think having dog the younger out of our house could go a long way toward chilling the older dog out, but it is just a hunch. Has anyone had experience with adopting out one dog and having the other prosper? Conversely, has anyone given one dog away and seen the other become despondent (even if the other never really liked the departing dog)? It would be unbearable to give one dog to a shelter and then have to do the same with the other.
I have roughly the opposite question that was posed here. We have two dogs that we love alot, but both have shown some uncertainty around our baby. Things have gotten to a point where I think the younger dog - 5 years old - needs to be out of our house. She is full of energy, and always has been, and has knocked our kid over several times. I am afraid one of those times my kid will crack open her brain. The younger dog also growls at the kid at odd times, which freaks me out. (She is otherwise an absurdly sweet and affectionate dog.)
I talked to a no-kill shelter, which has agreed to take her in and try to find her a home. If my wife and I agree on this course of action, I will feel better.
One issue that will help determine whether she goes to the shelter is what the effects may be on our older dog. The older dog is very sweet, but very clingy. She has also shown some hesitancy around our kid, and in the past year bit a houseguest.
We got the younger dog when she was a puppy and the older dog was 1. We thought the younger dog would be a good friend to the older one, but the older dog has never done more than tolerate the younger one. From the outset, she seemed annoyed that we brought another animal in. Also, the younger dog is a ravenous eater of food and bones, which has turned the older dog into one as well, because she does not want to lose her food/treat by not immediately eating it.
I think having dog the younger out of our house could go a long way toward chilling the older dog out, but it is just a hunch. Has anyone had experience with adopting out one dog and having the other prosper? Conversely, has anyone given one dog away and seen the other become despondent (even if the other never really liked the departing dog)? It would be unbearable to give one dog to a shelter and then have to do the same with the other.
How often are these dogs taken on a walk? What seems to be happening here is that both dogs have a dominance issues. A dog needs to know where it stands in the chain of command, if it is uncertain, it will be stressed out, and could act erratically. If it thinks it is the dominant dog, it will also be stressed, and act out very negatively.
What must happen here is you and your wife both need to assert yourselves as the dominant dogs. Do this by walking them both every day at least once, and make them walk right next to you, or better, behind you. Make them sit when you put their food down, and only allow them to eat it when you say OK. When you go thru doors, or leave the house, make them sit, and you go thru the door first. Everything you do should assert to them that you're in charge, and that they are not. It should work out in the long term.
If you do all this and they act out anyway, maybe sending the dominant one away will work. If you knew all this, sorry for preaching to the choir.
posted by splatta at 7:30 AM on October 28, 2005
What must happen here is you and your wife both need to assert yourselves as the dominant dogs. Do this by walking them both every day at least once, and make them walk right next to you, or better, behind you. Make them sit when you put their food down, and only allow them to eat it when you say OK. When you go thru doors, or leave the house, make them sit, and you go thru the door first. Everything you do should assert to them that you're in charge, and that they are not. It should work out in the long term.
If you do all this and they act out anyway, maybe sending the dominant one away will work. If you knew all this, sorry for preaching to the choir.
posted by splatta at 7:30 AM on October 28, 2005
A good friend of mine had two dogs which did not get along at all. The same situation, an older dog which was submissive to the younger. When the younger dog was killed suddenly (hit by a car) the older dog became depressed for months, despite the fact that the dogs never got along at all.
Additionally, I would be concerned in your situation that the older dog would become even more clingy to you once the dominant dog is removed from your household. This could also lead her to feel greater resentment for your child.
Traditional wisdom for pet owners has been if you have an overly clingy dog, to get another dog before having a child. That way the dog is more inclined to know its place, rather than to think of itself as "just another member of the family". Perhaps you should consider getting a tamer, milder dog to be a companion for your submissive dog, if you decide to get rid of the dominant one.
posted by peppermint22 at 7:36 AM on October 28, 2005
Additionally, I would be concerned in your situation that the older dog would become even more clingy to you once the dominant dog is removed from your household. This could also lead her to feel greater resentment for your child.
Traditional wisdom for pet owners has been if you have an overly clingy dog, to get another dog before having a child. That way the dog is more inclined to know its place, rather than to think of itself as "just another member of the family". Perhaps you should consider getting a tamer, milder dog to be a companion for your submissive dog, if you decide to get rid of the dominant one.
posted by peppermint22 at 7:36 AM on October 28, 2005
Unfortunately I don't have any answers regarding the effect that moving the younger dog out of your house will have on the older dog. But I have been an animal shelter volunteer, and I just wanted to recommend that if you decide that there is no way you can keep the younger dog, that perhaps since this doesn't appear to be an emergency situation you can attempt to place the dog with new owners yourself (perhaps through Craigslist?). That way you can interview potential owners and insure that she ends up in a good home, whereas in a shelter she will, for the most part, be stuck in a cage while she competes with other dogs for adoption.
posted by amro at 7:37 AM on October 28, 2005
posted by amro at 7:37 AM on October 28, 2005
Has either dog been through obediance training? (I'm thinking in particular about the younger dog and that she has growled and knocked your child over.)
I see that you are in Chicago. The Anti-Cruelty Society has three animal behaviorists on staff who will consult with you for free. Phone number is (312) 644-8338.
posted by Sully6 at 7:49 AM on October 28, 2005
I see that you are in Chicago. The Anti-Cruelty Society has three animal behaviorists on staff who will consult with you for free. Phone number is (312) 644-8338.
posted by Sully6 at 7:49 AM on October 28, 2005
It's kind of a dogs-and-kids rule of thumb that if the dog growls at a kid, they shouldn't be left alone together. There are ways to help the dog understand his place, but since you're already halfway to giving him up, how your other dog will take it really shouldn't be part of the decision. He needs to go.
posted by ulotrichous at 10:27 AM on October 28, 2005
posted by ulotrichous at 10:27 AM on October 28, 2005
She is full of energy, and always has been, and has knocked our kid over several times. I am afraid one of those times my kid will crack open her brain
The older dog is very sweet, but very clingy. She has also shown some hesitancy around our kid, and in the past year bit a houseguest.
Just to muddy the water: your plan is to hang onto the dog that has bit someone and get rid of the one that's full of youthful exuberance (which will likely decline with age)? Is this really the plan that's safest for your kid?
posted by phearlez at 11:20 AM on October 28, 2005
The older dog is very sweet, but very clingy. She has also shown some hesitancy around our kid, and in the past year bit a houseguest.
Just to muddy the water: your plan is to hang onto the dog that has bit someone and get rid of the one that's full of youthful exuberance (which will likely decline with age)? Is this really the plan that's safest for your kid?
posted by phearlez at 11:20 AM on October 28, 2005
You might want to try fluoxetine (prozac) or some other medicinal method of chilling out your dogs...either one of them. It might be a way you could keep both your dogs without having to be worried that they'll hurt your kid. Definitely talk to your vet first and be aware that this might not totally work, but I think it would be worth a shot. Prozac totally mellowed out my 4 year old dog - didn't change his personality and was totally preferable to getting rid of him.
On another note, I've noticed a definite trend towards older dogs getting increasingly grumpy...if it's the older dog that's biting people, that should maybe be the one to go.
And you should definitely see if exercising the younger dog more helps...
posted by johnsmith415 at 12:01 PM on October 28, 2005
On another note, I've noticed a definite trend towards older dogs getting increasingly grumpy...if it's the older dog that's biting people, that should maybe be the one to go.
And you should definitely see if exercising the younger dog more helps...
posted by johnsmith415 at 12:01 PM on October 28, 2005
This thread is closed to new comments.
Obviously, the most important concern here is the safety of your child, but some kind of obedience training/confidence training could help both dogs, I'm thinking.
Good luck!
posted by chocolatepeanutbuttercup at 6:55 AM on October 28, 2005