OKC Profile, n+1+n
May 7, 2014 5:14 AM   Subscribe

So it's been awhile since I've used OKC, just reactivated the profile, and it's now past due for an overhaul.

When I last used it extensively, about a year and a half ago, I was pretty happy with the responses I got. But I'm wondering if I can do better. So let me know your suggestions and comments.

And yes, I'm posting this on my sockpuppet account for a reason.
posted by Matched plain socks to Human Relations (14 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
You need better pictures. The main picture could be more flattering, the second picture is too blurry, and I'm not 100% sure the third picture is even you?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:26 AM on May 7, 2014 [2 favorites]

This is nitpicking -- but you used "alot" twice. It should be a lot (space after the a) Also, more and better pics. I like the climbing and fiddling photos, but your main photo is kind of meh. I'd also get rid of the ropes story and start with something more sincere.
posted by Sal and Richard at 5:33 AM on May 7, 2014 [4 favorites]

Yeah, the photos are a problem - the second picture is your best, but it's way too blurry. Do you have any better shots of you with your fiddle? The third picture fits the "activity" requirement, but it doesn't really show you at all, and that's the whole point. You are quite tall and thin, as you say, but the angle of the first photo and the way your shirt hangs off of you makes you look unnaturally skinny - compare that to the angle and shirt of your second photo where you look pretty normal.

Also, your opening anecdote seems a little too sincere to me, but I'm not your target market.
posted by Think_Long at 5:34 AM on May 7, 2014

Also not target, but the beginning read to me a bit more like an answer to a job interview question than might be desirable.
posted by Sequence at 5:41 AM on May 7, 2014 [3 favorites]

I like you're profile. I agree with others regarding the photos (although I think the "activity" photo is fine)
posted by KogeLiz at 5:43 AM on May 7, 2014

The overall feel of your profile seems like you're applying for an internship, not looking for a date. It's great that you're hardworking and dedicated and have a plan, but I don't get a sense of what you're like in your time off, if you have any.

I'd also choose a "first thing people notice" other than/in addition to "tall and thin." Sure, you are tall and thin, and that's the first thing I noticed too, but go for something more interesting and less literal and obvious.
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:48 AM on May 7, 2014

I didn't like the rope story its not a great opener. I also think that every time you mention something generic like art or science or the outdoors or the story you're writing you should mentally think "... such as" and then re-write it to be more specific. Like instead of "I like art, science and the outdoors" write "I enjoy abstract expressionism and doodling bees, learning about insect mating behavior and long hikes in Fake Made Up Natural Park." Also what are you studying in grad school? Nursing? Any particular specialty?

Oh and nit-picky you should list your age range as even on both ends. Even if you're not willing to date women more than 2 years older a lot of women, who may be in your age range, will be turned off by you being willing to date younger than you will older. For what its worth I don't live near you but would otherwise be in your target market.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 6:01 AM on May 7, 2014 [5 favorites]

Target demographic here!

What're you going for your master's in?

How do you know how to navigate the London Underground?

What would you do on a first date? On a second? Like Metroid Baby said, this feels like an application.
posted by RainyJay at 6:10 AM on May 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

Nthing that you need better photos. (Shouldn't be too hard, as you're a pretty cute guy!)

You do not need to update your desired age range. Preferring to date younger women is not a crime. If you are interested in women ages 25-32, that's a-ok and your profile should reflect that.

I think the biggest part of your profile that needs an overhaul is your summary. It reads very stilted to me right now. Could you update it to be a bit more frank/casual/funny?

Otherwise, I think you're in good shape. Good luck!
posted by schroedingersgirl at 6:30 AM on May 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

And I actually recommend not adding further details re: your Master's and your book. These are great conversation-starters and you'll hopefully receive messages expressing interest in these topics and asking for more info. Don't give everything away up front - give interested ladies something to ask you about!
posted by schroedingersgirl at 6:31 AM on May 7, 2014

I think everything about your profile is absolutely fine, and there's nothing to improve. The pictures are fine. There are no red flags or obvious reasons someone wouldn't reply to a message from you. Keep doing what you're doing.

That said, I think a refresh is always a good thing. Maybe throw in a book you've read recently or a new hobby. Get newer photos that reflect how you look right now. A year and a half is a long time.
posted by Sara C. at 7:15 AM on May 7, 2014

I like your profile very much (I'm your target demographic!) You sound intelligent and interesting without coming across negatively.
I just think you need some different photos.
I would LOVE to see your smile, I think that would make a difference!
posted by JenThePro at 7:48 AM on May 7, 2014 [4 favorites]

I think your profile is lovely. I get a good sense of your personality, who you are as a person and what to expect from a date.

My only caveat: personally, I do find phrases like "I appreciate the beauty in the world" a bit too overused (especially as you sort of say the same about L'Engle further down) but I am a terrible cynic who is probably not your target audience :)
posted by kariebookish at 8:00 AM on May 7, 2014

New photos. Seriously. Better camera, better lighting, more variety. Have a friend with photography skills help you with this. 90% of the people on OKC make their primary decision based on your main profile pic. Without a solid photo of you looking cute and engaging, they won't even read your profile.

Chuck the rope story. Beginning an introduction with a story about fear does not set the kind of positive tone needed on a dating site, even when the point is that you overcome it.

As SpaceWarp13 said, you need to expand on the details! This is key. Give your potential dates something interesting to latch on to, to find common ground or an interesting debate. What *kind* of writing, music, art, science, sports, etc. Be specific. "I like listening to vintage musical soundtracks and playing along on my fiddle" "I play full-contact cricket on the weekends" "I am obsessed with the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and am considering devoting an entire bookshelf to this pursuit" or whatever.

Specifics are *interesting*, and specifics can be *funny*. Humor is a great way to engage with strangers who haven't met you yet. It's disarming and makes you seem easy to talk to.

If you like science, especially data mining, OKC has a blog on what makes a good profile, good messages, etc, all backed by the massive amounts of data being crunched by the site. Good luck :)
posted by ananci at 12:29 PM on May 7, 2014

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