Name that romance novel (with the weird plot)
May 6, 2014 6:47 PM   Subscribe

Posting for daughter as I've not a clue: "I am looking for an older romance novel - 1970s? - that I read (and reread) between 1984-1990, but I cannot remember any of the characters' names, nor the title or the author.

It starts with the main female character - a blonde, ex-lingerie, pantyhose model? with an ulcer – driving through a mountain pass in the late afternoon. She stops at a roadside park, gets the heebie-jeebies feeling like she is being watched and drives on to find a place to stay rather than risk driving at night.

In a case of wrong-blonde mistaken identity she gets kidnapped by the main male character and forced to white water raft down a river with him in an attempt to escape the really bad guys - all the while chugging Maalox, being shot at, ruining a group of innocent river rafters' trip (one gets shot in the leg by the bad guys) and braining one of the baddies with a rock.

Towards journey's end, the two main characters climb a big hill, small mountain, cliff? that the main male character has wanted to revisit, take in the view, share a moment, (as she chugs Maalox) then finish their trip where they get picked up by a contact in a helicopter, plane?, double crossed and delivered to the bad guys.

There are threats, the female character's ulcer erupts – something, something – she ends up in the hospital and all ends well because the main male character saves the day."
posted by BlueHorse to Writing & Language (6 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Best answer: If you don't get an answer to this here, be sure to submit it to Help a Bitch Out at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Recognizing whackadoo romance novels is the whole point of that feature, and they'll love the shit out of this one. You can use the Contact form on their web page, it has an 'I'm looking for a book' option.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:06 PM on May 6, 2014 [7 favorites]

Came here to recommend HABO as well. If their readership can't identify it, nobody can.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:09 PM on May 6, 2014

Response by poster: In the name of Fabio Lanzoni, can this be true? AskMe doesn't have the answer?!
*faints genteelly*

I shot an email over to SBTB. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll post back if I find something.
posted by BlueHorse at 2:34 PM on May 7, 2014

posted by Lyn Never at 1:16 PM on June 12, 2014

Response by poster: Those folks at SBTB are absolutely AMAZING.

Emailed daughter, she is heading out to the library to re-read and scratch the itch that has been bothering her for months.

After reading the reviews, I'm certain that it is more her thing than mine, but I'm tickled pink ya'll helped find this for you.

MetaFilter and Smart Bitches ROCK!!
posted by BlueHorse at 2:59 PM on June 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

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