Alleviate My OTHER Dry Spell
February 12, 2014 1:56 PM   Subscribe

Sexytimes filter - after a multiple-year period of involuntary celibacy, I'm now finally gettin' some again (YEE-HAW). I need to stock up on lube as a result, and while I'm at it I wanna splurge and get something REALLY good. Particular requirements/concerns inside.

What I NEED is:

a) Something long-lasting, so we don't have to interrupt the proceedings to re-apply. I tend to run dry as a rule, due to a combination of personal quirk of anatomy and middle-age systems, so I need it a bit more so than usual.

b) Something GLYCERIN-FREE. (I'd rather not get yeast infections.)

c) Something condom-friendly.

Nice but not necessary extras:

d) Something that can soothe skin in a pinch. The Object d'Amour and I are apparently in the "bunny stage" with a vengeance, and I was pretty uncomfortable for a couple days after - and that was even with us using lube.

e) Something that smells awesome or can cater to some other sensory input as well. (We had something that could double as a massage cream as well; it was okay in a pinch, but still a bit meh.)

Other than that, I'm just looking for high-quality and generally otherwise awesome.
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (17 answers total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

Condom-friendly, long-lasting, glycerin free? You want to at least try silicone lube, unless you know for a fact that you have a silicone sensitivity. It's an apply-at-night, still-slick-next-morning kind of thing. It is NOT however safe for silicone toys, so be aware of that.
posted by KathrynT at 2:02 PM on February 12, 2014 [5 favorites]

Sliquid, Liquid Silk and, my personal favorite, Hathor are all very good glycerin-free lubricants.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:03 PM on February 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

Hathor in particular is sex toy and condom safe and I wouldn't think twice about using it to soothe skin.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:04 PM on February 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sliquid makes really nice lube. I think the one I've used is the Organic Silk.
posted by kagredon at 2:07 PM on February 12, 2014

Sliquid is my personal favorite as well.
posted by miskatonic at 2:37 PM on February 12, 2014

I too tend to run pretty dry and have a glycerine sensitivity and (it turns out) a mild allergy to latex AND parabens, so I went through lubes by the dozen while I tried to figure things out.

I tried Sliquid and O'My and their hippie variants, and they turned into an awful tacky mess within minutes; I literally used like 1/3 bottle of Sliquid in one session because it just wouldn't stay lube-y. Then I tried the higher end Sliquid Organic Silk stuff and it was even worse. I tried everything water-based you could possibly buy from my local sex toy shop. Here are my conclusions: there is no "one" lube that does it all. Embrace this, buy a nice fancy box for the side of your bed, and get a variety so you're never caught without.

For actual PIV penetration, Swiss Navy Silicone is the bomb. It is SLICK and it lasts... and lasts... and lasts. And lasts. It doesn't have a smell or taste, particularly, it's just there makin' things slippery. It's condom-safe and toy-safe (as long as your toys are not also silicone, in which instance they will bond together to create a weird mess). It's also nice to add a drop to the inside of the condom for some extra sensation for your partner. It's the best thing that's ever happened to my sex life. Pro-tip: the bottles leak really badly-- this has been true for all silicone lube pump bottles I've tried, not sure why. Just keep it upright. I knocked mine over onto the tiled floor of my apartment at one point a few years ago, and then forgot and fell asleep. I went after the residual spill with hot water and dish soap when I woke up, but there was still a slightly slick patch on the floor a year later when I moved out. That is how slippery silicone lube is.

Right. Penetration taken care of. Now, second question: are you internally or externally sensitive to glycerine? Personally, I'm only internally sensitive; a little glycerine-based lube on my exterior ladyparts doesn't hurt anything, as long as I make sure to clean up a bit before I have penetrative sex (which reminds me, if you're using lube and find it tends to get everywhere, Wal-Mart of all places makes a nice generic 'feminine cleanliness' wipe that has cranberry extract in it. I keep 'em by the side of the bed for cleanup, to wipe excess lube off hands, etc.) If you can handle a little glycerine in your life, the Kama Sutra Oil of Love smells and tastes great, but it's also a really great accessory to oral sex: the glycerine in it means that it acts as a humectant, so any air movement feels warm instead of cold. It's also condom-safe, so you don't have to worry about being completely fastidious about washing up if you decide to have penetrative sex after oral.

Lastly, I keep around a bottle of the good old-fashioned hypoallergenic variety of Astroglide, mostly for use with toys. Many of mine are smooth or small, and so don't require the big guns of silicone lube (which is more expensive), so this does me just fine for solo sessions, or for hands-only fun with partners.

Happy sexytime!
posted by WidgetAlley at 2:41 PM on February 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh, also: best part of silicone lube is that, if it starts to dry out (which... I personally would be impressed as hell if you managed that), you can "rewet" it by just adding moisture. Which, your mileage may vary, but I find it really fun to be able to lick my hand and run it over certain areas of my partner's anatomy and BAM! Things are super slip-and-slide again!
posted by WidgetAlley at 2:44 PM on February 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

I too am glycerin-sensitive. When I found that out I suddenly stopped getting bacterial infections. You probably know that you need to avoid any flavored lube, but I'll just mention it to be sure.

I know that silicone lube has gotten better since I stopped using it, but if you do use it, check to be sure it's compatible with latex. Not all of it is/was.

For me, my go-to water-based, glycerin-free lube for PIV sex is Liquid Silk. I really appreciate a pump bottle. That way I can reapply with one hand. But water-based lube can be "re-activated" with spit.

For anal sex, my favorite is Maximus. It's a little thicker, which is good for anal, but still lasts a long time and comes in a pump bottle.
posted by janey47 at 3:13 PM on February 12, 2014

I used Liquid Silk for several years and it was fine, till after I went through medical menopause and my entire chemistry changed and it no longer did the trick. Now Pjur is the bomb in our bedroom!
posted by scody at 3:41 PM on February 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Go buy a lube assortment pack and have fun figuring out what you like. It's really up to the individual.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 4:49 PM on February 12, 2014

Hubby and I are partial to ID Milennium. Long-lasting, and as WidgetAlley says above, refreshes easily with a little water. (A small spray bottle works great!) Washes up easily in the shower with plain ol' Irish Spring. The larger bottle with the pump dispenser is nice, especially once your hands are already slick.
posted by xedrik at 5:50 PM on February 12, 2014

Liquid Silk.

This is my recommendation as someone who is very sensitive and prone to yeast infections and irritation. And it fits your other criteria, though doesn't really have any fragrance at all.
posted by Polychrome at 4:36 AM on February 13, 2014

I second WidgetAlley’s recommendation to add water/ saliva to reactivate lube; it works for water-based lubes too.
posted by metasarah at 9:52 AM on February 13, 2014

I don't have ladyparts but, agreed, silicone-based is what you are looking for here.

My favourite is WET Platinum. A little dab'll do ya, and if it does start drying out, as mentioned a little spit and you're good to go again.

Also doesn't just rinse away if you're having sexytimes in the shower just sayin'. (Disappears easy enough with soap/etc).

Note: silicone lube stains sheets and is annoying to get out. Keep (old) towels around.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:12 PM on February 13, 2014

I second WidgetAlley’s recommendation to add water/ saliva to reactivate lube; it works for water-based lubes too.

Not nearly as well, in my experience, and there's kind of a law of diminishing returns there. Silicone, though... just keeps going and going and going.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 3:13 PM on February 13, 2014

Nthing silicone lube. Pure silicone, with only one or two ingredients, is best--there's plenty of stuff out there that's technically silicone lube but also contains a bunch of other unnecessary stuff. It's super long-lasting, feels really nice, and helps protect irritated skin.

There's also Pjur Med Repair Glide, a water-based lube that claims to help repair irritated skin. I'm normally very skeptical of lubes that claim to do anything but reduce friction and of anything that claims to repair skin, but I used this while I was experiencing a prolonged period of irritation and while I can't speak to whether or not it actually did any healing, I was able to quite comfortably keep up an active sex life.
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:04 PM on February 13, 2014

Wait, nevermind, I just checked my bottle of Pjur Repair Glide and it does contain glycerin.

(However, it's worth noting that not all women are sensitive to glycerin. I'm fairly prone to yeast infections, and glycerin in lubes has never been a problem for me. But YMMV, and I certainly don't blame anyone for not wanting to risk finding out whether they're sensitive to it or not!)
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:07 PM on February 13, 2014

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