A different kind of erotic experience
February 9, 2014 1:37 PM   Subscribe

What is the most erotic paid experience a heterosexual man in California can have that is totally legal, something done in person and not online, and is neither a strip club or a massage?

In the distant past, there were things like “disreputable” photography or modeling studios that allowed a man to photograph and talk with a woman modeling lingerie (or less) in private. Now everything of that sort is online, and not quite the same. I’m looking for experiences like that; a private or semi-private sort of turn-on that definitely doesn’t go over the line into prostitution and isn't the commodified experience of most strip clubs.

I've set up a throwaway account at aprivateexperience@live.com. I understand California is a big place, but that isn't much of an issue here.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (16 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Your criteria are slightly unclear to me, but is being a male lead in porn out? If so, then I imagine the next closest would be something like being one of the background guests on a Kink.com Upper Floor shoot, or visiting a professional sub or dom/me. Maybe also hiring a burlesque dancer for a private show, although I would imagine many dancers don't do this for safety reasons.

Possibly also visiting a dungeon for local kinksters. In that case, you're not receiving a private service-- you're paying an entrance fee to participate in a space where other people may be engaging in sexual activity. I don't know if that meets your definition of semi-private, though.
posted by WidgetAlley at 1:57 PM on February 9, 2014 [5 favorites]

a hands-on nude lapdance from an escort in your hotel room might float your boat.
posted by bruce at 2:08 PM on February 9, 2014

well, i looked it up and penal code section 647(b) prohibits any lewd act for money, including touching the genitals, buttocks or a female's bare breast for sexual gratification.
posted by bruce at 2:32 PM on February 9, 2014

In Portland Oregon they have lingerie modelling places. Never been myself but it I imagine it might be like your "disreputable photography or modeling studios." OTOH, it could be a straight-up brothel. Dunno.

Maybe they have similiar in your area.
posted by codswallop at 3:02 PM on February 9, 2014


The note at the bottom mentions the penal code mentioned above and claims that the facility is in the clear in respect to that. From the folks I know (socially, not close friends) that have worked there, that seems very likely correct.
posted by needs more cowbell at 3:20 PM on February 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

Go to one of those places with naked firls in a booth.

Bubble Bath/Massage.

Just be aware that in a lot of cases those folks are enslaved, and part of human trafficking.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 3:21 PM on February 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

Is "paid" part of the erotic thrill, or more about the anonymous, no-strings, transactional nature of the encounter?

When you say "prostitution," do you mean legally or by your own accord?

If money isn't required... and you still want that personal touch... Craigslist or FetLife.

Otherwise I think hiring a sex worker is the way to go. A private escort or experienced domme could easily make your fantasy come true. There's no need to dip into fetish or skin contact if you don't want it.
posted by fritillary at 4:15 PM on February 9, 2014

I think you want to hire a woman in a bikini to repair your car.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:20 PM on February 9, 2014 [10 favorites]

I knew someone who worked as a topless housecleaner. She didn't really clean houses, although there was usually a token job or two for her to do. She wore a naughty outfit and made fun small talk and flirted with the man (always a man) who hired her while "cleaning". She told me she had some regular customers who she went a little further with for bigger tips (not precisely sure how far--pretty sure it wasn't sex, though).

Some googling shows this is a thing in California still.
posted by Ideal Impulse at 4:58 PM on February 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I think you need to better quantify what you mean by "erotic". I've got some friends who've worked (and identify as) pro dommes, and there are ... well ... all sorts of kinks out there that I don't find terribly erotic, but some men will pay handsomely to experience.

Similarly, back in the early days of our relationship, (now) Mrs. Straw and took an evening and distributed mumbledy hundreds of dollars through the strip clubs around that Columbus/Broadway area in San Francisco, and it frankly was some of the least erotic experience I've had (though the best experiences were behind glass at the Lusty Lady); we were way more turned on by burlesque in the Mission.

(To Ruthless Bunny's point, I'd suggest listing to The WhoreCast, episode #7 had some neat snippets from a diary, and my guess, from knowing women who've both worked as dancers and behind the glass, is that the women behind the glass have the better working conditions.)

I haven't been a huge sexual adventurer, but I think the big issue is that what's erotic is very personal. In the Bay Area, I've done the parties in SOMA, or out in the underground theatres of The Richmond, or Tantra weekends in Tiburon, or the readings out on Divisadero, but my personal sexiest thing ever right now probably involves making out with one, just one, of a very select group of people by a waterfall or in the redwoods or somewhat. And that probably does nothing for you.

But if it's the idea of money and price and such that turns you on, then, yeah, I'd take WidgetAlley's suggestion and dust off the tail coat and top hat and find an invite to an Upper Floor party.
posted by straw at 5:10 PM on February 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

So, not CA but Club Sesso as described in Oh Joy, Sex Toy sounds kind of near what you're looking for, or at least has enough variety that you could find something there.
posted by theweasel at 5:40 PM on February 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

How about an erotic dining experience?
posted by juliplease at 7:45 AM on February 10, 2014

There are both nude life drawing and nude photography sessions that are around — Dr. Sketchy is the big one on the East Coast, but there are myriad knockoffs in LA. Likewise, you can find nude shoots through Model Mayhem, where an agency puts together five to ten models, charges you an exorbitant fee, and part of the gig is that it's a bunch of Dudes With Cameras perving on the models. No touching, obvs. (Honestly, though, as someone who has gotten paid to take pictures, photographing someone like that is really not very erotic at all. If you're not more concerned with getting the lighting right than staring at naughty bits, your photos will be terrible.)
posted by klangklangston at 9:19 AM on February 10, 2014

Hire a dominatrix.
posted by Specklet at 9:35 AM on February 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

I saw something on 'orgasmic meditation' a while back.. didn't seem seedy at all, seemed quite pro-woman yet is also attracting a lot of (more??) men..... I'll make an ass of explaining it so best to google around.. could be a very nice investment for any lucky lady in the future too.... ;)
posted by tanktop at 12:15 PM on February 10, 2014

Not everything dominatrices do hurts. I would be very happy to tie you up and climb all over you like a monkey. It is very, very erotic. :)
posted by Mistress at 1:52 AM on February 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

« Older Depressed & need inspiration.   |   Keep hair dye off highlights during recolor Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.