Revenge is best served sliced in to wedges
January 24, 2014 5:34 AM   Subscribe

I am gluten intolerant. I want pizza tonight and have volunteered to find a GF pizza dough recipe and make it for us. My husband is unconvinced, citing that while I make really good gluten free foods, every first attempt at a new GF recipe has been a flop (he's not wrong) so he suspects that the pizza won't be so good. Oh my god, I want to prove him wrong.

Yes, it is true, that my first try at a new gluten-free recipe is usually less than awesome. A few have worked on first attempt, but mostly it isn't until the second (or even third) try before I get the kinks worked out. My husband is truly the most supportive person on the planet and he has made my required switch to gluten free eating infinitely smoother than it would have been on my own, and he has voluntarily switched to eating gluten free things (we only eat gluten free pancakes, for example) despite his not having any issue with gluten. He really is awesome and I love him more than breathing. However, when I am trying a new recipe for the first time he usually has a 'back up supper' for when it flops. He'll always try it but he is always prepared for when it sucks. Second go around and he trusts it will be good, no back up meal. The thing is he normally doesn't outright say he has a backup meal and he normally doesn't express any doubt. The back up meal just sorta.. happens. THIS TIME he has actually said he'll have a back up meal ready to go and maaaaaaaaaaaan I want to prove him wrong. So I declared war on him and his doubt. I said if I end up making awesome pizza on my first go then he has to buy me a gift, and he agreed.

Its go time people. I NEED to make the absolute best gluten free pizza ever made on the planet tonight, and it needs to work on first attempt.

SO! Give me your absolute best gluten free pizza crust recipes. Thick or thin crust is fine, though personally I'd prefer a thick crust. Crusts made of non-starchy things like cauliflower need not apply. This needs to resemble gluten pizza as closely as possible. I don't care how unhealthy the recipe is, I don't care how starchy it is, I don't care how high fat it is - it just needs to be delicious and as good as any gluten pizza would be. And I need to be able to have it work the first time around. I will do whatever I need to in order to win this bet. (Plus, I really want some delicious pizza.)

(side note, I have also been on a quest for truly delicious, chewy, baguette-type gluten free bread, so if you have a recipe for that please send it along as well.)
posted by PuppetMcSockerson to Food & Drink (27 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
I have had wonderful pizza made with rice flour crust. There are numerous rice flour pizza crust recipes out there. I've never made it so I can't recommend one, but the ones I've had are delicious. I'm pretty sure you can achieve the ultimate goal of making your husband happy and proving him wrong at the same time!
posted by Dolley at 5:53 AM on January 24, 2014

Dunzo! Here it is!
posted by xicana63 at 5:55 AM on January 24, 2014

I'd probably try to find a recipe based on C4C Flour - I've heard universally excellent things about it; it was developed by the R&D chef at The French Laundry (someone who KNOWS from good food).
posted by julthumbscrew at 5:59 AM on January 24, 2014

Response by poster: xicana63, I saw that recipe in my travels but the crust looks so dry and frankly unappetizing to me. It LOOKS gluten free. I'd need some reassurance that it isn't as bad as it looks.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 6:11 AM on January 24, 2014

You should check the gluten free boule bread recipe from the artisan bread book authors. I use their regular bread recipe for pizza dough - it looks promising.
posted by tumble at 6:25 AM on January 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Gluten-free Goddess has a decent recipe.
posted by Ideefixe at 6:29 AM on January 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

I say, compensate for a lackluster crust by going ALL OUT for toppings.

Make this butter tomato sauce. Buy real (and really expensive) fresh buffalo mozzarella. Then I'd finish with a few fat leaves of basil and a sprinkle of salt, but you could also go with a few slices of fancy salami or an anchovy filet or two.

Put that on top of shoe leather, and it would be amazing.

Plus, while you're shopping for the mozzarella at a Whole foods type store, you can shop their frozen gluten free products, which often include pizza crusts, or at least bread. A pre-made slice of gf-bread can be your own backup crust, but you never need admit it to your husband.
posted by fontophilic at 6:29 AM on January 24, 2014 [4 favorites]

The best gluten-free pizza I have had was at a restaurant, and they bought their gluten-free crusts premade (they are a pizza restaurant and they make their regular pizza dough in house). So a second vote for buying a gf crust at Whole Foods or whatever. According to the folks at the restaurant, the gf dough is really fragile so it's better to just let the experts make it.
posted by mskyle at 6:32 AM on January 24, 2014

What you want is thin crust pizza that is basically like a thick cracker, using cup for cup flour (I recommend Mr. Ritts). If you have a pasta roller, getting it super thin is even easier and a pizza stone allows it to crisp up nicely. I bake my crust for about 5 mins before adding the toppings. Speaking of the toppings, use fresh/buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil and it's easier to hide a lackluster crust [jinx fontophilic].

Use instant yeast and include sugar (since it has no gluten to feed on) and allow it to rise (as much as it can). I'd actually start with a poolish to get max flavor from overnight fermentation, since you won't get a proper rise without gluten.
posted by melissasaurus at 6:36 AM on January 24, 2014

FYI: The best "truly delicious, chewy, baguette-type gluten free bread" I've ever had is from Mariposa Bakery in Oakland California. They ship by mail.
posted by blob at 6:37 AM on January 24, 2014

I agree with previous posters, you're definitely better off going with a thin crust.

Also: I strongly DO NOT recommend the Bob's Red Mill pizza crust mix. We made it once and it had a vile aftertaste (note that I love their mixes for things like brownies, too, so this isn't a blanket aversion to chick pea flour or whatever.)
posted by Andrhia at 6:57 AM on January 24, 2014 [3 favorites]

If you can find Sami's products locally, their pizza crust is absolutely delicious.
posted by Slinga at 7:02 AM on January 24, 2014

Sorry for the double-post -- Against the Grain makes some amazing baguettes, though they're mostly made from cheese. I've also been very happy with Schar bread products lately, and Udi's frozen baguettes are nice. All of them are best lightly baked and eaten straight from the oven, if you wait half an hour all the magic evaporates or something.

And on the pizza front, this doesn't help you for tonight's REVENGE pizza, but Domino's has a gluten-free crust available now, as well. Depending on how sensitive you are to cross-contamination, this might be a viable option. Though it's stupidly expensive. :/
posted by Andrhia at 7:05 AM on January 24, 2014

You could go streets ahead and just all sausage crust it.
posted by hmo at 7:05 AM on January 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

I agree that a pre-made crust is the way to go.
posted by scose at 7:10 AM on January 24, 2014

The best home-made gf crust I've made was a mix from Gluten Free Mama. We keep Udi's frozen crusts around for quick pizzas but freshly made is better.
posted by leslies at 7:11 AM on January 24, 2014

There is a pizza place across the road from my work, and the pizza is amazing. I'd eaten it several times before I noticed the "Gluten Free" on their box, and was shocked to learn it, as I've always found gluten free bread products to be lacking.

I'm in Toronto, so it may not help you at all, beyond that yes, it IS possible to do it right. If it helps you narrow down recipes, here is their ingredient list.
posted by routergirl at 7:57 AM on January 24, 2014

Response by poster: Domino's has a gluten-free crust available now, as well. Depending on how sensitive you are to cross-contamination, this might be a viable option.

Sadly I'm way too gluten sensitive. :(

hmo, that sausage crust both disgusts and intrigues me. ha ha

I like the idea of assaulting him with delicious toppings so even if my crust isn't great it will still be delicious pizza.

for everyone who is suggesting pre-made crusts, I normally would agree with the pre-made crust suggestion but this is revenge pizza. The whole issue is that he doesn't think I can make my own and have it be good the first attempt.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 8:05 AM on January 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

Sorry I can't link properly but this is absolutely the bomb. I don't avoid gluten and bought one by accident. (my Boy threw it in the cart at the co-op when I wasn't looking) It was amazing.

We sat on the couch for the rest of the evening, farting, because we ate the whole damn thing with sharp cheddar and turkey sausage. I know the cheddar is sacrilegious but it's what I had when I found out that my son had already made dinner plans for us. The sauce was very credible. I usually make pizza from scratch that people rave about and this was 5 effing stars. Boy didn't want breakfast the next day.

I am not your chef. I use a slab of stone and preheat it for an hour to make pizza and your results may vary. This is not culinary advice.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 8:29 AM on January 24, 2014

The answer is the olive oil bread from Healthy Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. I just mix all the ingredients in a bowl, skip the rising step, and bake in a 450 oven for 18 minutes or until it looks done. I put olive oil and cornmeal on the pan, then press it out using enough cornflour so it doesn't stick to my fingers. Then I knock any extra cornflour off. A half recipe makes dinner and lunch leftovers for two.

I make this weekly and offered to buy store bought crusts for my gluten-loving boyfriend, but he happily eats my pizza. I served it to 4 other gluten eating friends lately and they said you wouldn't know the difference.

I have converted the flour quantities to grams and I can tell you those when I get home, if you'd like extra guaranteed consistency.
posted by carolr at 9:33 AM on January 24, 2014

whatever crust you use, preheat your oven really hot (450 degrees). Put parchment paper down on your tray, smooth out the dough with wet fingers, you can get it really thin that way, water is your friend here, all gluten-free doughs are awful to work with dry! Think of clay more than dough here! Dough in oven for 9 minutes or so til crisp on bottom, flip it over, and put toppings on the crusty side, the doughier side down now, for about 16 minutes more so the bottom can get crusty. Mushy gluten free crust is the worst. Thin crispy gf pizza dough is supremely better. (we use bobs red mill pizza dough mix)
posted by coevals at 9:51 AM on January 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Cheese and cheese crust. Personally, I just either use the Udi's frozen or the Chebe bread mix, but that one looks like an easy winner that you could add herbs to.
posted by skittlekicks at 10:16 AM on January 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Since this is revenge pizza, is there a way you can make your first attempt in secret so as to work out the kinks without telling him? Can you requisition the aid (and maybe kitchen) of a friend?
posted by gauche at 10:31 AM on January 24, 2014

In my experience, Gluten Free Girl's recipes are almost uniformly terrible flops. The Gluten-Free Goddess recipe looks promising. It seems you are not alone in your quest! I don't have a traditional pizza crust, but use Bittman's flatbread instead. (Usually I make it half teff and half millet. Back when I could eat garbanzo beans, I made it with that or half garbanzo flour half teff.) It's delicious.
posted by purple_bird at 10:34 AM on January 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: gauche, I would be willing to cheat and do a secret test run but the pizza is being made tonight for supper. No opportunity.

We do have a pizza stone. I will get that mo-fo heated up and use that if I can.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 10:45 AM on January 24, 2014

Weird. I actually really like Bob's red mill crust (though we make it with flax seed instead of eggs and always add garlic powder to the dough). Clearly YMMV.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 11:27 AM on January 24, 2014

I've had the Gluten-Free Girl pizza crust kalessin links above and it's good, but yeasty. I, personally, don't really like the yeastiness of it. And it's supposed to be made more on the thin crust side, as it's actually a cracker recipe in her cookbook.

A RIDICULOUS but delicious suggestion, which kind of fits in with your "I don't care how high fat it is" statement is to make a dough base using a pao de queijo recipe, which is a tapioca starch-based type of bread that is almost as much grated parmesan cheese as it is tapioca starch. I used that particular recipe just the other night to make pao de queijo and it was yummy. I'd cook it a little bit before adding your toppings, though, as it needs to cook for about 25 minutes and toppings usually only take 10-15. If you use a pizza stone, you could get it pretty crispy.
posted by urbanlenny at 1:14 PM on January 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

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