NYC for the socially anxious

December 2, 2013 5:49 PM

I have moderate-to-severe social anxiety which I'm trying to overcome on my own by exposure therapy. My big goal for this year was to take the train into Manhattan alone. I need your suggestions on what to do once I get there (and any tips about the places I already know I want to visit).

I've visited Manhattan dozens of times throughout my life, but I haven't been back in about 5 years. I'm 21 now and I live about an hour away from Manhattan (via train), so I'll only be visiting for one day at a time. Walking around aimlessly freaks me out, so I would like to get a set schedule down. I'm not really interested in anything south of 14th street because I've been there too often. I'm open to any other suggestions! I am interested in photography and history, and I'd also like to find a few cool stores to look for Christmas gifts in. Small stores are too intimidating for me, so I'd prefer to stick to bigger/more populated stores.

I have some ideas already, but if all goes well I will hopefully be coming back again soon, so any other ideas are welcome. I will be bringing my camera and I'd like to get some cool photos in Central Park and from somewhere high up (but I really don't want to pay $27 for the Rockefeller observation deck). I was going to walk through Central Park up to the Museum of Natural History. I'm also interested in going to Nintendo World/Rockefeller Center, since it's on the way. Can anyone recommend some cool spots for pictures in Central Park? I would love to ride one of these vintage trains/buses but I think that's pushing how much stuff I can fit into one day.

Any tips about traveling while social anxious would be appreciated too!

posted by anonymous to Travel & Transportation (16 answers total)

I'd suggest the Met over Natural History (unless your heart is set on it.) From what I remember, the latter has really open floor plans and big spaces with lots of people. The Met has that too, of course, but it also has quiet little exhibit rooms you can sneak into in case you get an anxiety flare-up.
posted by griphus at 5:59 PM on December 2, 2013 [3 favorites]

If you can, I would look for something that involves other people somewhat. I too tried to cure my anxiety by wandering around Manhattan alone on day trips, but instead I just felt stunningly lonely, like I was in an isolation chamber. Maybe in a way it did help my social anxiety by helping me appreciate talking to people again. But just be prepared for that feeling.
posted by bleep at 6:01 PM on December 2, 2013

My favorite place in Manhattan is not even very well known to those who live there, and it might be just the thing for you as a break from all those people during your day trip.

The Cloisters, which is part of the Met but is located pretty far north on the island. I take a taxi there & back when I'm in NY but I know it is accessible by public transportation, and there is info for this on the linked site.
posted by janey47 at 6:05 PM on December 2, 2013 [4 favorites]

I love the MOMA, but its kind of pricy. However the MOMA Store is closeby and has a bunch of cool designy things to buy or look at.
posted by softlord at 6:07 PM on December 2, 2013

You could easily combine that itinerary with a visit to Columbus Circle, which has a bunch of (large) shops, and is usually not quite as crowded as 5th Ave. Or you could walk up through the park and down along Broadway, which has a lot of good-sized stores through the Upper West Side.
posted by pompelmo at 6:07 PM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

I used to live in Brooklyn and commute daily to Manhattan for work/school.

My tips for the socially anxious traveler (and I apologize if any of this is super obvious since you've been there so many times or happen to live in another city where you commute via subway...I just figured since haven't been there by yourself I'd start with the basics that I found helpful when first getting used to the city as a somewhat anxious/socially anxious person):
- take the subway as opposed to taxis (since you mentioned you are intimidated by smaller stores, I thought you might feel likewise with the one-on-one feeling in a taxi)
- Plan out subway routes in advance so you can familiarize yourself with them beforehand. If you have a smartphone than you don't really need to obviously, but it helps to have a good idea before you leave. Google is great, I also like HopStop.
- Get a metro card if you can before you arrive (I'm not sure where you are leaving from but I think you could do this at the station in New Haven just for example), to avoid having to do it with presumably more crowds around.
- When getting on subway, if possible position yourself to easily see maps/signs so you know when you've gotten to your stop.
- The vintage trains are AWESOME, but the one time I did it they were ridiculously packed. Just a head's up. If you're looking to take pictures though, you should be able to get some great ones there of people dressed in vintage clothing.

For Christmas Gifts, I honestly don't have any good recommendations...except I remember the Holiday Shops at Bryant Park. Looks like there is also a market at Columbus Circle.

Good luck & have fun!
posted by Shadow Boxer at 6:42 PM on December 2, 2013

Just so you know the Rockefeller Center area will be thronged with people from now until the new year.

On preview, Shadow Boxer beat me to the markets, but in the Midtown area there are Christmas markets in Bryant Park and at Columbus Circle right now. Both have a hundred or more vendors. While each vendor has a small space, the whole market feels more like a big general store with each booth being a specialized department, so you can choose the level of interaction you have with the market and individual vendors.
posted by plastic_animals at 6:47 PM on December 2, 2013

I know you said you weren't interested in anything south of 14th, but the Tenement Museum is one of the coolest things I've done anywhere, and it fits your history requirement.

It's kind of a confined space, but you get to be around people without being forced to interact with them, which to me is a good choice for someone with social anxiety.
posted by cnc at 7:01 PM on December 2, 2013

Whenever I am in NYC around the holidays, I always go to Macy's and wander around the top floor and buy an ornament. At this point, it seems like you can buy anywhere else what you can buy there, but it's become a tradition to ride all those creaky escalators and then to take in all the differently decorated trees and then, well, why don't I just buy one ornament?

I agree that a day of wandering NYC can be a little lonely with nothing to break it up...is there someone you might want to just pop in and say hello to? Or maybe that's not your thing, but it is what I would do.
posted by Tandem Affinity at 7:28 PM on December 2, 2013

Just south of the Museum of Natural History, try the New York Historical Society's museum.
posted by nicwolff at 7:40 PM on December 2, 2013

Here is a suggested walking itinerary starting from the southeast side of Central Park to the Metropolitan Museum. It makes a difference whether you are there during the week or on the weekend. The weekend might see significantly more people in many of these places.

Start from Hammacher Schlemmer, which has a single-story location on E 57th St near Lexington Ave featuring cool gadgets and toys; you can see who is inside the store from the street to gauge whether you would be comfortable entering.

A five-minute walk from there takes you to FAO Schwarz at E 58th St and 5th Ave, which is three stories of toys. There are always lots of shoppers in there no matter the time of day, but it is seldom as crowded as the Apple Store (the Apple Store is right next to FAO Schwarz).

FAO Schwarz faces the southeast corner of Central Park (a semi-circular block named Grand Army Plaza). It is host to carriage horses and pigeons. The plaza is next to some of the major attractions in the park.

The Pond and Bow Bridge, which you might recognize from movies, are immediately inside the park to the west of the plaza.

A five-minute walk into the park, north from the plaza and parallel to 5th Ave, takes you to the Central Park Zoo, which is beautiful to behold even if you don't buy a ticket and just pass by.

If you continue north from the zoo, you will get to the Boat Pond. It is surrounded by the Hans Christen Andersen and Alice in Wonderland statues which are also photo-perfect attractions. Further north is the Metropolitan Museum of Art, which sits inside the park, though you will need to exit the park to enter the museum from 5th Ave.

Cleopatra's Needle, an ancient Egyptian obelisk which sits outdoors on a hillock behind the museum, is also worth visiting.

The rooftop of the Metropolitan Museum may be open and you can get a great view of all of Central Park and the adjacent neighborhoods without having to pay extra.

The Met is less noisy and chaotic than the Museum of Natural History. It is never as packed. If you go on a Friday, it is open until 9 pm and there are fewer visitors in the evening.

Central Park should not be too hectic either given that it is cold outside now.
posted by icemill at 9:01 PM on December 2, 2013

The museums will be less crowded because most people will be shopping.There's a Poe exhibit at the Morgan Library, Art Speigelman and Chagall(more crowded) exhibits at the UES Jewish museum and if you're willing to go to Brooklyn: Egyptian cat, Kathe Kollwitz and Gaultier exhibits at the Brooklyn museum, which also has the permanent installation of Judy Chicago's Dinner Party.
posted by brujita at 11:26 PM on December 2, 2013

If you want to catch the vintage trains, but can't sync up with when the MTA runs them, go to the Transit Museum in Brooklyn. They have a huge collection of vintage train cars parked on the tracks on the lower level.
posted by soy_renfield at 4:53 AM on December 3, 2013

You could pick up the vintage train from MoMA or thereabouts if you come on a Sunday, since it runs along the M line.

You could try the Union Square holiday market, which is a bit silly but fun--it'll be totally crowded but with small booths to look at.

Brooklyn Museum is free on the first Saturday of each month, including this one.

I think if you go to the Cloisters or the Met you can get some kind of receipt that lets you go to the other one that day, or within a short window of time, though I don't remember the details.

You could try to take pictures of Belvedere Castle in Central Park at 79th-ish Street, which is pretty cool, or go to the zoo, which is fun and not super-crowded in the colder weather.
posted by mlle valentine at 6:18 AM on December 3, 2013

Both the Union Square and Bryant Park markets are fun. The Bryant Park market is more spread out and easier to shop without making bodily contact with strangers. Bonus: Bryant Park puts you right next to the NYPL and its free exhibits. Right now there's one about JFK.

Rockefeller Center and the nearby 5th Avenue corridor will be teeming with people. Slow-moving people. Seemingly millions of them.

If you get anxious in restaurants or about eating, do some research on Yelp beforehand. You can work a restaurant into your plan for the day, look at the menu in advance, and even check photos of the restaurant to see how crowded it might be. Some city restaurants will have you sitting nearly shoulder-to-shoulder with a stranger.

Also, I'll second the New-York Historical Society. I've been several times, and never once has it been very crowded. Also, it's a manageable size--you can see the bulk of the exhibits in just a couple of hours.
posted by serialcomma at 8:57 AM on December 3, 2013

General anxious travel idea: Traveling especially during rush hour can feel crazy-making when surrounded by a herd of commuters who are making transfers and walking through a station based on habit, and meanwhile I might still be figuring out what train to take or exit to leave out of. So I remind myself that it's good to have the luxury of not-rushing, there's no prize for getting somewhere two minutes before you may have been able to, especially if you're not on a schedule, and I take it relatively easy but still try to be as respectful as possible of those who are in need to rush (eg., by staying to the right on escalators, not standing in the middle of a platform/flow of foot traffic to read signs, hanging back when necessary). There is middle ground between clueless tourist and stereotypical city chaos because thats what's 'expected'.

I realize this isn't specific to social anxiety, now that I write this, but maybe it will be helpful.
posted by ArgyleMarionette at 12:23 PM on December 4, 2013