Pick my therapist, please
October 23, 2013 5:49 PM Subscribe
I'm looking for someone to help me with my social anxiety issues. I met with two therapists. Help me pick one, please.
I have some moderate social anxiety issues. It's not normally debilitating, but it did recently result in an actual panic attack, and at that point, I decided enough was enough, and I was going to do something about it. I looked for therapists in my area, found a couple on Yelp that were in the Toronto Junction area, had websites I could contact them through and seemed like they might work and contacted them both. I had a consultation with one in person and with the other on the phone. They both have similarly impressive seeming credentials.
Therapist 1, who I met with in person, seems friendly and enthusiastic and is sorta cuddly looking. She is certified by The Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) certified as a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC). This requires she have a Masters in something therapy-related, but I don't specifically know what hers is in. She immediately made me feel very welcome, and even in our relatively short conversation had fairly insightful things to say about possible root causes of my social anxiety. She has some methods in mind for things I could do to deal with anxious situations, but would also like to explore the historical issues that she thinks might be contributing to the problem. She talked about what therapy would be like and took the time to show me her entire office suit and introduce me to her partner after I said that physically being in new situations was uncomfortable for me. Everything she was saying really resonated with me as comforting and helpful.
She also thinks that I may wish to consider homeopathy or naturopathy or possibly anti-anxiety meds.
I was pretty happy with her right up to that bit when in my brain it was like that moment in sitcoms where a story that's seemed normal suddenly gets crazy and they play the record/tape breaking sound effect and someone says "Wait, what?" Because, homeopathy? Whaaaaaat? Nothing else she said struck me as nutty, but that's a pretty big one. I had been concerned from her profile that she might be a bit on the god-bothering side of things, but no religious elements came into the conversation at all.
Therapist 2 is a member of The Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association but does not indicate that she is certified. However she does have a Masters of Education in Counselling and Psychotherapy, which seems to be the most common educational credential for local psychotherapists who are not full psychologists. I met with her on the phone, and she was not as warm and cuddly seeming, though that may be partly because it was a phone thing. Our actual sessions would be in person. There was lots of official form filling out kinds of questions and a brief discussion of my issue. She listened to my problems and immediately talked about CBT and was quite sure that she would be able to help me manage the anxiety with those methods.
So, I liked therapist 1 quite a lot more than therapist 2, but there's the nagging possibility that therapist 1 engages in a certain amount of non-science-based crapola. I didn't really feel comfy cozy with therapist 2 that much, but she was more focused on an actual method (CBT) to help my anxiety right now, and maybe the not bonding with her thing was as much because of the phone as anything else.
Does therapist 1 seem like a terrible idea because of homeopathy even though I liked her? Is it too important that I like my therapist for me to choose therapist 2? Should I just try again to find someone else that I'll like and who isn't unscientific? Reaching out to therapists is not exactly playing to my strengths because it's exactly the sort of scenario where my anxiety is at it's worst, so I don't want to keep doing this if I don't have to.
I have some moderate social anxiety issues. It's not normally debilitating, but it did recently result in an actual panic attack, and at that point, I decided enough was enough, and I was going to do something about it. I looked for therapists in my area, found a couple on Yelp that were in the Toronto Junction area, had websites I could contact them through and seemed like they might work and contacted them both. I had a consultation with one in person and with the other on the phone. They both have similarly impressive seeming credentials.
Therapist 1, who I met with in person, seems friendly and enthusiastic and is sorta cuddly looking. She is certified by The Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) certified as a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC). This requires she have a Masters in something therapy-related, but I don't specifically know what hers is in. She immediately made me feel very welcome, and even in our relatively short conversation had fairly insightful things to say about possible root causes of my social anxiety. She has some methods in mind for things I could do to deal with anxious situations, but would also like to explore the historical issues that she thinks might be contributing to the problem. She talked about what therapy would be like and took the time to show me her entire office suit and introduce me to her partner after I said that physically being in new situations was uncomfortable for me. Everything she was saying really resonated with me as comforting and helpful.
She also thinks that I may wish to consider homeopathy or naturopathy or possibly anti-anxiety meds.
I was pretty happy with her right up to that bit when in my brain it was like that moment in sitcoms where a story that's seemed normal suddenly gets crazy and they play the record/tape breaking sound effect and someone says "Wait, what?" Because, homeopathy? Whaaaaaat? Nothing else she said struck me as nutty, but that's a pretty big one. I had been concerned from her profile that she might be a bit on the god-bothering side of things, but no religious elements came into the conversation at all.
Therapist 2 is a member of The Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association but does not indicate that she is certified. However she does have a Masters of Education in Counselling and Psychotherapy, which seems to be the most common educational credential for local psychotherapists who are not full psychologists. I met with her on the phone, and she was not as warm and cuddly seeming, though that may be partly because it was a phone thing. Our actual sessions would be in person. There was lots of official form filling out kinds of questions and a brief discussion of my issue. She listened to my problems and immediately talked about CBT and was quite sure that she would be able to help me manage the anxiety with those methods.
So, I liked therapist 1 quite a lot more than therapist 2, but there's the nagging possibility that therapist 1 engages in a certain amount of non-science-based crapola. I didn't really feel comfy cozy with therapist 2 that much, but she was more focused on an actual method (CBT) to help my anxiety right now, and maybe the not bonding with her thing was as much because of the phone as anything else.
Does therapist 1 seem like a terrible idea because of homeopathy even though I liked her? Is it too important that I like my therapist for me to choose therapist 2? Should I just try again to find someone else that I'll like and who isn't unscientific? Reaching out to therapists is not exactly playing to my strengths because it's exactly the sort of scenario where my anxiety is at it's worst, so I don't want to keep doing this if I don't have to.
It sounds like you're not confident in either one. Is there any reason you don't want to keep interviewing?
posted by Wordwoman at 6:10 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by Wordwoman at 6:10 PM on October 23, 2013
I think you should find a third therapist.
I wanted to go with therapist #1 because you got along well with her, and that's really important in a counselor. But her methods don't jibe with what you believe - how will you reconcile that?
Therapist #2 brought up CBT, which has a lot of research backing it up as being effective (based on what I've read, a lot more studies back this up as an effective approach than therapy that focuses on historical issues/childhood*). However, I don't think you should start with a therapist you don't feel a connection with.
Instead, I think you should do a bit of online research about the different techniques that could be employed to help with anxiety, decide yourself which would be the best fit for you, and then interview some counselors who use that methodology. I know it sounds like more work, but picking a great therapist is hugely important.
*I'm not an expert on this, and could be convinced otherwise if other comments can show some good evidence here.
posted by leitmotif at 6:11 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
I wanted to go with therapist #1 because you got along well with her, and that's really important in a counselor. But her methods don't jibe with what you believe - how will you reconcile that?
Therapist #2 brought up CBT, which has a lot of research backing it up as being effective (based on what I've read, a lot more studies back this up as an effective approach than therapy that focuses on historical issues/childhood*). However, I don't think you should start with a therapist you don't feel a connection with.
Instead, I think you should do a bit of online research about the different techniques that could be employed to help with anxiety, decide yourself which would be the best fit for you, and then interview some counselors who use that methodology. I know it sounds like more work, but picking a great therapist is hugely important.
*I'm not an expert on this, and could be convinced otherwise if other comments can show some good evidence here.
posted by leitmotif at 6:11 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Homeopathy like lavender scented candles, or homeopathy like placebo horse pills? If you can't yet answer that question definitively, I think you should give #1 another shot since you "clicked."
posted by oceanjesse at 6:15 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 6:15 PM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
Go with therapist #1. The therapeutic relationship is far more important that any technique or modality. Let them know that you are not interested in holistic or homeopathic methods. Simple as that.
posted by rglass at 6:16 PM on October 23, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by rglass at 6:16 PM on October 23, 2013 [6 favorites]
My first therapist was on the new-agey side and also believed in some homeopathy, but it never really affected our sessions. Since therapist 1 sounds so understanding and professional, I'm betting if you just said "I don't believe in homeopathic remedies and I'd rather not try anything like that", she would have no problem with it and just move on. Same with religion, if it comes up: "I'd rather not talk about religion".
Coming from my personal experience with several therapists, I would probably choose therapist 1. Having someone that you feel is warm and understanding is really important when it comes to talking about super personal things.
Could you possibly meet with therapist 2 and then decide? She might just come across as cold on the phone. Also, this sounds kind of avoidant, but if you don't like either therapist after a few sessions, you can always find a different one. You don't have to stick with anyone who makes you really uncomfortable.
posted by Hey Judas! at 6:17 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Coming from my personal experience with several therapists, I would probably choose therapist 1. Having someone that you feel is warm and understanding is really important when it comes to talking about super personal things.
Could you possibly meet with therapist 2 and then decide? She might just come across as cold on the phone. Also, this sounds kind of avoidant, but if you don't like either therapist after a few sessions, you can always find a different one. You don't have to stick with anyone who makes you really uncomfortable.
posted by Hey Judas! at 6:17 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
If you had only talked with Therapist 1 on the phone do you think you would feel the same connection with her?
I am not sure you have enough information to rule either one of them out.
I would have to meet with a therapist myself before I could make a decision about seeing them as a therapist.
posted by cairnoflore at 6:18 PM on October 23, 2013
I am not sure you have enough information to rule either one of them out.
I would have to meet with a therapist myself before I could make a decision about seeing them as a therapist.
posted by cairnoflore at 6:18 PM on October 23, 2013
The magic of therapists is, you can really just say anything to them. "Hey, therapist #1, homeopathy is woo, can we do this without it?" And her response will tell you whether you can go with her or not. You're kind of lucky to have this conflict with her early on; it's good to know in advance how therapists handle disagreement. But also, ask explicitly, does she think getting to the historical roots of your anxiety is going to be as useful in treating it, as something more structured like CBT...and why does she think that, can she back it up? I mean, you can ask it in a totally nonconfrontational way, but it'd be good to know exactly how she envisages the therapy working.
posted by mittens at 6:27 PM on October 23, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by mittens at 6:27 PM on October 23, 2013 [8 favorites]
I lean toward therapist #1.
The thing is, you can opt not to do homeopathy or other "woo" things, which are just as valid of methods for some people as CBT or other traditional methods. Saying "you may wish to consider [things you may not be interested in]" is a lot more open-minded and thoughtful to ME than someone going "CBT for you" which is important to some people, but it's whatever you feel most comfortable with. Maybe you need to try a few more people?
FWIW I had a doctor who was in a practice that was really into holistic medicine. Herbs and vitamins didn't work for the conditions I was seeing her for, and when I let her know that I was unwilling to invest more time and money in that, we very easily shifted towards a more traditional medical approach. So I wouldn't rule her out based on her ideas but more on how she responds to your ideas.
posted by sm1tten at 6:32 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
The thing is, you can opt not to do homeopathy or other "woo" things, which are just as valid of methods for some people as CBT or other traditional methods. Saying "you may wish to consider [things you may not be interested in]" is a lot more open-minded and thoughtful to ME than someone going "CBT for you" which is important to some people, but it's whatever you feel most comfortable with. Maybe you need to try a few more people?
FWIW I had a doctor who was in a practice that was really into holistic medicine. Herbs and vitamins didn't work for the conditions I was seeing her for, and when I let her know that I was unwilling to invest more time and money in that, we very easily shifted towards a more traditional medical approach. So I wouldn't rule her out based on her ideas but more on how she responds to your ideas.
posted by sm1tten at 6:32 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'd go for therapist 1 & just tell her you are not into homeopathy personally. Don't forget she did also mention anti-anxiety drugs as an option. I like that you had a good connection with her and she wants to deal with both symptoms & historical roots. Both CBT & psychodynamic are effective but since I'm on my phone no links.
posted by wildflower at 6:48 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by wildflower at 6:48 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Keep in mind that presenting homeopathic solutions before more typical meds might be a waybof encouraging only patients who really need the typical meds which can have bad side effects. Like others mention you can politely decline homeopathic methods. Definitely number one she sounds amazing
posted by cacao at 7:09 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by cacao at 7:09 PM on October 23, 2013
How do prescribing privileges work in Canada? I suspect that these therapists can't actually prescribe medication (they wouldn't be able to in the US), so you're likely going to be working with an MD for that portion of it, if you decide to go with medication. Which means the therapist's approach to medication, assuming she's at least open to using it or not, is way less important.
Also, some people with anxiety get really freaked out at the suggestion of any medication, and a good therapist needs to be semi-open to alternatives.
My guess would be that Therapist #1 will be a good fit for you, given how much you liked her and how little her own opinions on prescription medications will really matter. (If I'm wrong about Canadian regulations, though, and she would be the one prescribing any medication, then you might want to talk to her specifically about that.)
posted by jaguar at 7:27 PM on October 23, 2013
Also, some people with anxiety get really freaked out at the suggestion of any medication, and a good therapist needs to be semi-open to alternatives.
My guess would be that Therapist #1 will be a good fit for you, given how much you liked her and how little her own opinions on prescription medications will really matter. (If I'm wrong about Canadian regulations, though, and she would be the one prescribing any medication, then you might want to talk to her specifically about that.)
posted by jaguar at 7:27 PM on October 23, 2013
I don't know if this is realistic in Canada, but you might consider trying out Therapist #1, asking her to refrain from woo, and calling Therapist #2 back if it doesn't work out?
posted by bleep at 7:30 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by bleep at 7:30 PM on October 23, 2013
I would say that if you feel comfortable telling Therapist #1 that you're not interested in homeopathy/naturopathy, I'd go back at least once more to say that and see how things go from there. If she seems to shut down or really tries to push homeopathy, you'll know she's not the therapist for you, but so far it sounds as though she's trying to be responsive to your stated needs and concerns. I'd imagine she'd be respectful of your lack of interest.
posted by epj at 7:37 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by epj at 7:37 PM on October 23, 2013
My therapist practices out of a yoga studio and works with homeopathy. He asked me during our first consultation whether that was something I would be interested in. I declined. He has never brought it up again, and I am 100% happy with our work together.
Being comfortable in a therapeutic space is crucial. I think you should pick #1.
posted by third word on a random page at 7:43 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Being comfortable in a therapeutic space is crucial. I think you should pick #1.
posted by third word on a random page at 7:43 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Can you see therapist #2 in person before deciding? It doesn't seem like a fair comparison otherwise.
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 7:46 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 7:46 PM on October 23, 2013
A lot of people with anxiety freak out at the thought of medications. Presenting a range of options often normalises it somehow?
Also, with a lot of anxiety sufferers, a therapist often just wants you to try *something*, rather than cutting off possible solutions.
I find homeopathy terrible, but it is a placebo with absolutely no side-effects, so I can kind of see where it is useful. Kind of. In a horribly unethical, gullible or manipulative anti-science way.
If I knew someone I loved had a disease with no effective treatment, I may well lie my ass off if necessary, and tell them the sugar pills would help (because, medically, they would), but it just screws up the world in general to run it that way.
Urrrggghhhh. I don't want to imply I support homeopathy. I don't. And I don't lie in general, let alone about this, but I can see how if I was desperate I would use anything that worked (worked being, the placebo effect, not homeopathy in particular).
Ending the sidetrack:
Go to the appointment with therapist 2 if you really want to give a fair comparison, but therapist 1 sounds great.
A warning flag would be if they suggested woo treatments instead of conventional, but offering a range of options is generally ok.
(P.S. People who take benzos for anxiety generally feel better before it could possibly affect them - of COURSE placebos work for anxiety!)
posted by Elysum at 8:08 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also, with a lot of anxiety sufferers, a therapist often just wants you to try *something*, rather than cutting off possible solutions.
I find homeopathy terrible, but it is a placebo with absolutely no side-effects, so I can kind of see where it is useful. Kind of. In a horribly unethical, gullible or manipulative anti-science way.
If I knew someone I loved had a disease with no effective treatment, I may well lie my ass off if necessary, and tell them the sugar pills would help (because, medically, they would), but it just screws up the world in general to run it that way.
Urrrggghhhh. I don't want to imply I support homeopathy. I don't. And I don't lie in general, let alone about this, but I can see how if I was desperate I would use anything that worked (worked being, the placebo effect, not homeopathy in particular).
Ending the sidetrack:
Go to the appointment with therapist 2 if you really want to give a fair comparison, but therapist 1 sounds great.
A warning flag would be if they suggested woo treatments instead of conventional, but offering a range of options is generally ok.
(P.S. People who take benzos for anxiety generally feel better before it could possibly affect them - of COURSE placebos work for anxiety!)
posted by Elysum at 8:08 PM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Go with therapist one, but tell her to knock the homeopathy crap. If she does, great. If she doesn't fire her ass.
posted by bananafish at 9:22 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by bananafish at 9:22 PM on October 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
From what you've described, Therapist 1 sounds like she might be a good fit for you, overall.
posted by RainyJay at 9:33 PM on October 23, 2013
posted by RainyJay at 9:33 PM on October 23, 2013
Assuming you don't want to add Therapist #3, #4, #5 to the mix, I would probably go with Therapist #1, without the homeopathy stuff that makes you uncomfortable. However, before you do choose to go with her, ask her if she thinks she can help you without the homeopathy stuff. The way you phrased it in your question, it seemed as though it was a possible avenue for treatment, not the sole method. But double check to make sure. If she can do it without homeopathy, great, go with her. If she sticks to her guns about homeopathy and such, that's when you go back to Therapist #2 and are like "hey, yeah, when can we schedule our first appointment???".
Good luck to you. It sounds like Therapist #1 is a good fit, perhaps a great fit, and that apparently makes a huge difference. :)
posted by juliebug at 9:40 PM on October 23, 2013
Good luck to you. It sounds like Therapist #1 is a good fit, perhaps a great fit, and that apparently makes a huge difference. :)
posted by juliebug at 9:40 PM on October 23, 2013
So, I liked therapist 1 quite a lot more than therapist 2, but there's the nagging possibility that therapist 1 engages in a certain amount of non-science-based crapola. I didn't really feel comfy cozy with therapist 2 that much, but she was more focused on an actual method (CBT) to help my anxiety right now, and maybe the not bonding with her thing was as much because of the phone as anything else.
You should ask them. Pretty much those non-science crapola issues will come up. You need to be up front with any concerns you have, both with the non-cuddly one and the possible crapola thing.
Having said that, insight in to the past can be important if linked to noticing what it is you might be doing. A lot of the things I was doing I was not aware of until we did non-science crapola.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:48 PM on October 23, 2013
You should ask them. Pretty much those non-science crapola issues will come up. You need to be up front with any concerns you have, both with the non-cuddly one and the possible crapola thing.
Having said that, insight in to the past can be important if linked to noticing what it is you might be doing. A lot of the things I was doing I was not aware of until we did non-science crapola.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:48 PM on October 23, 2013
She also thinks that I may wish to consider homeopathy or naturopathy or possibly anti-anxiety meds.
I was pretty happy with her right up to that bit when in my brain it was like that moment in sitcoms where a story that's seemed normal suddenly gets crazy and they play the record/tape breaking sound effect and someone says "Wait, what?"
Dude, the same thing happened to me! I met with someone about anxiety, and it was perfect until she got to aromatherapy. Then she backed off saying "I know some people consider that too New Agey, but I have actually had a few clients respond really well to it." That tiny nod to empiricism was enough for me.
Could it be that she was trying to ease into saying "meds?" I know that idea freaks some people out. Could she have been trying to signal "I'm not going to leap immediately into suggesting you be medicated" or "I'm not just about the Western medicine approach, I'm familiar with a variety of other approaches, too?" Maybe for her, "naturopathy" is shorthand for "holistically analyzing all the things you do to support your physical health, since sleep, nutrition, etc., can impact anxiety."
I am saying all of this because it sounds like you had a great first meeting with #1, and in my experience, clicking at that level is a bit rare. I'd check in to let her know you don't believe in homeopathy and will that be a problem, but since she mentioned it in a laundry list, I'd guess she'd be happy to set that aside.
posted by salvia at 11:57 PM on October 23, 2013
I was pretty happy with her right up to that bit when in my brain it was like that moment in sitcoms where a story that's seemed normal suddenly gets crazy and they play the record/tape breaking sound effect and someone says "Wait, what?"
Dude, the same thing happened to me! I met with someone about anxiety, and it was perfect until she got to aromatherapy. Then she backed off saying "I know some people consider that too New Agey, but I have actually had a few clients respond really well to it." That tiny nod to empiricism was enough for me.
Could it be that she was trying to ease into saying "meds?" I know that idea freaks some people out. Could she have been trying to signal "I'm not going to leap immediately into suggesting you be medicated" or "I'm not just about the Western medicine approach, I'm familiar with a variety of other approaches, too?" Maybe for her, "naturopathy" is shorthand for "holistically analyzing all the things you do to support your physical health, since sleep, nutrition, etc., can impact anxiety."
I am saying all of this because it sounds like you had a great first meeting with #1, and in my experience, clicking at that level is a bit rare. I'd check in to let her know you don't believe in homeopathy and will that be a problem, but since she mentioned it in a laundry list, I'd guess she'd be happy to set that aside.
posted by salvia at 11:57 PM on October 23, 2013
RIGHT NOW, my normally lovely husband is recovering from being a horrible cranky effing monster for the past year because between his multi-vitamin + too many oysters eaten per week (we work in seafood) he overloaded in Zinc. Main symptom? Anxiety and irritability.
It was his (new) accupuncturist that pushed him to get the blood work up that isolated his issue and caused almost immediate relief of his symptoms once he eliminated all zinc from his diet.
----
So, whatever.
If I were you, I would go with # 1.
You need a whole system evaluation. Get that. Find someone who can interpret the data.
Why would you do anything else?
posted by jbenben at 12:08 AM on October 24, 2013
It was his (new) accupuncturist that pushed him to get the blood work up that isolated his issue and caused almost immediate relief of his symptoms once he eliminated all zinc from his diet.
----
So, whatever.
If I were you, I would go with # 1.
You need a whole system evaluation. Get that. Find someone who can interpret the data.
Why would you do anything else?
posted by jbenben at 12:08 AM on October 24, 2013
Nthing therapist 1. It sounds like you clicked with her, and she put in action a lot of things that helped you feel at ease just in your first appointment.
Things like homeopathy and meds are always negotiable. If her wording was indeed "you may wish to consider", that's pretty respectful, and leaves a door wide open for you to state your wishes. That too is part of therapy – recognizing that you're separate people and your approaches will differ at times, without either of you crossing boundaries. Therapists are usually trained how & why to honor client boundaries, because, consider: otherwise how would survivors of abuse or trauma ever get through therapy. That's not saying all therapists will, unfortunately, but therapist #1 shows some really positive signs that she is indeed the sort who does.
And if another anecdote can help, one of the first things my own therapist said was "I think medication would be good for you" at which I said "no, I disagree" for all sorts of reasons that we were then able to talk through. Nothing against medications themselves; I was at a very low point in life and just did not want to deal with the hassle of them, plus I genuinely believed talk therapy would help in time. Slower than with the additional help of meds, yes, which I accepted. FWIW, it did work out well, and I continue to appreciate how my therapist suggests things I wouldn't otherwise think of. It's one of the most constructive aspects of my therapy, in fact. It's great to know there's someone who knows her stuff, listens to her clients, sees what works and what doesn't with them, and then takes the initiative to respectfully suggest things she's seen work and advise on those she has seen as less helpful. Your therapist #1 sounds like that sort.
posted by fraula at 4:45 AM on October 24, 2013
Things like homeopathy and meds are always negotiable. If her wording was indeed "you may wish to consider", that's pretty respectful, and leaves a door wide open for you to state your wishes. That too is part of therapy – recognizing that you're separate people and your approaches will differ at times, without either of you crossing boundaries. Therapists are usually trained how & why to honor client boundaries, because, consider: otherwise how would survivors of abuse or trauma ever get through therapy. That's not saying all therapists will, unfortunately, but therapist #1 shows some really positive signs that she is indeed the sort who does.
And if another anecdote can help, one of the first things my own therapist said was "I think medication would be good for you" at which I said "no, I disagree" for all sorts of reasons that we were then able to talk through. Nothing against medications themselves; I was at a very low point in life and just did not want to deal with the hassle of them, plus I genuinely believed talk therapy would help in time. Slower than with the additional help of meds, yes, which I accepted. FWIW, it did work out well, and I continue to appreciate how my therapist suggests things I wouldn't otherwise think of. It's one of the most constructive aspects of my therapy, in fact. It's great to know there's someone who knows her stuff, listens to her clients, sees what works and what doesn't with them, and then takes the initiative to respectfully suggest things she's seen work and advise on those she has seen as less helpful. Your therapist #1 sounds like that sort.
posted by fraula at 4:45 AM on October 24, 2013
Therapy, like social anxiety, is all about relationship. This includes the ability to challenge your therapist when she says something that doesn't feel right to you. It also includes the ability to reject a therapist who may be "scientific" but you just don't like him. You could look further, but all people, at some point, will say/do something which won't feel right to you and you will have to find some way of dealing with it. From that point of view, it's good to get over it early on and you now have an opportunity. From a CBT standpoint, understand that a therapist is your paid employee and your fears of asserting yourself in the relationship are irrational because you are distorting the actual situation. It is you who have the power in the dyad, even though it may feel otherwise. What's the worst that can happen if you tell therapist 1 that you don't believe in homeopathy?
You could also tell #1 that you don't think exploring your history will be useful. [I, a therapist, but not yours, think that the present is not independent of the past (isn't exploring cause and effect a scientific approach?) but risking expressing your doubts about its usefulness in the present is even more important.]
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:13 AM on October 24, 2013
You could also tell #1 that you don't think exploring your history will be useful. [I, a therapist, but not yours, think that the present is not independent of the past (isn't exploring cause and effect a scientific approach?) but risking expressing your doubts about its usefulness in the present is even more important.]
posted by Obscure Reference at 6:13 AM on October 24, 2013
Good for you for interviewing therapists. I would keep looking. I would not see a therapist until I knew what their credentials were. For anxiety, CBT is strongly recommended. 'Homeopathy or naturopathy' for anxiety would be a No for me, possibly depending on how it was presented. A good therapeutic relationship is essential, but so is competence. I have had the best luck with therapists who have lots of credentials, and who have a structured approach to resolving issues.
posted by theora55 at 10:07 AM on October 24, 2013
posted by theora55 at 10:07 AM on October 24, 2013
I like mittens response. You may have a very appropriate opportunity with Therapist #1, that is, to engage her in something that you're not quite sure about. Question: is that perhaps part of your anxiety to begin with? Meaning, feeling "odd" about being in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.
I personally think you should have a follow up with Therapist #1, ask to meet in person with Therapist #2, and then feel open to a continued search.
One of my core philosophies that has helped me when I'm "stuck" is to think: all I need to know is the next step. I don't need to make a decision at this point about which of the two therapists to go to. I just need to know what to do next. If that's helpful to you then my suggestion above might be appropriate. Or, you may have another "next step."
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 3:08 PM on October 24, 2013
I personally think you should have a follow up with Therapist #1, ask to meet in person with Therapist #2, and then feel open to a continued search.
One of my core philosophies that has helped me when I'm "stuck" is to think: all I need to know is the next step. I don't need to make a decision at this point about which of the two therapists to go to. I just need to know what to do next. If that's helpful to you then my suggestion above might be appropriate. Or, you may have another "next step."
posted by Taken Outtacontext at 3:08 PM on October 24, 2013
Some people freak out when they feel like pharmaceuticals are being forced on them, yet they respond to some sense of control over their own health. I think this is a big part of where therapist #1 may be coming from, plus the fact that the placebo effect is a real, scientific therapy. Just say homeopathic treatment is not for you, or you don't believe in it, or whatever. I doubt it will be an issue.
posted by oneirodynia at 3:39 PM on October 24, 2013
posted by oneirodynia at 3:39 PM on October 24, 2013
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Personally, I'd go with therapist 1. You responded to her. She wasn't trying to force homeopathy on you, and I bet if you told her you weren't really comfortable with that sort of thing, she might suggest something else, like actual medication (which she already has) or CBT (which you have a line on).
posted by sevensnowflakes at 6:09 PM on October 23, 2013