I'm having coffee with a potential employer... What should I know?
October 17, 2013 1:06 AM Subscribe
I'm scheduled to meet over coffee with a potential employer. What's considered good etiquette in this situation? How should I be prepared?
Just over a year ago, while I was still in grad school we had lunch - she found me through some of my work posted online, and treated me to sushi; we chatted for a good long time. We had similar views and interests, and she even mentioned a desire to work with me in the future. It was a very enjoyable meeting.
Now that I've graduated, I've been working part-time at a job that's not really in my area of study (I worked there as a student employee previously), and have been also getting regular experience as a volunteer.
If this meeting leads to a job, it might even be considered a "dream job"... I really don't want to blow this!!
Just over a year ago, while I was still in grad school we had lunch - she found me through some of my work posted online, and treated me to sushi; we chatted for a good long time. We had similar views and interests, and she even mentioned a desire to work with me in the future. It was a very enjoyable meeting.
Now that I've graduated, I've been working part-time at a job that's not really in my area of study (I worked there as a student employee previously), and have been also getting regular experience as a volunteer.
If this meeting leads to a job, it might even be considered a "dream job"... I really don't want to blow this!!
While I agree that you should prepare for this largely as if it were an interview, I would dress down in comparison to interview wear- you should look nice and neat and I would not wear jeans or a summer dress but neither would I wear a suit. Allow the venue to guide your choices to some extent. I would not expect salary to be discussed (though this may depend on your industry).
There is a reason why they've invited you for coffee and not a formal interview- for whatever reason you are not at that stage yet. Unless you work in a very informal industry in which interviews are not the norm I would expect that something more formal would follow.
posted by jojobobo at 1:36 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
There is a reason why they've invited you for coffee and not a formal interview- for whatever reason you are not at that stage yet. Unless you work in a very informal industry in which interviews are not the norm I would expect that something more formal would follow.
posted by jojobobo at 1:36 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
Nb: I have done something like this twice and had pretty laughably different experiences- one time it was a beer and lunch in a pub and the other time it was in a swanky hotel and my prospective boss was in a suit. I was glad, both times, that I was dressed somewhere in between the very casual approach of employer one and the suit of employer two, given that both venues were unfamiliar to me! Good luck.
posted by jojobobo at 1:39 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by jojobobo at 1:39 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
>> I really don't want to blow this!!
(I am being serious about this somewhat glib comment)
Shy away from coffee before you go to the meeting. You may drink enough there to talk on for a while. you don't need to be pre-charged before the meeting begins.
Stick with decaf or light tea that morning!
posted by lampshade at 2:21 AM on October 17, 2013 [9 favorites]
(I am being serious about this somewhat glib comment)
Shy away from coffee before you go to the meeting. You may drink enough there to talk on for a while. you don't need to be pre-charged before the meeting begins.
Stick with decaf or light tea that morning!
posted by lampshade at 2:21 AM on October 17, 2013 [9 favorites]
I have hired that way and been hired that way. Wear office-casual clothes like you're at the office and going for a nice lunch, so no jacket and nice blouse and pants/skirt. Eat something before and only get a coffee. Pee right before the interview in case you end up drinking 2-3 coffees and the interview runs long!
posted by viggorlijah at 3:44 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by viggorlijah at 3:44 AM on October 17, 2013 [1 favorite]
In my situation, I was taken to lunch for pizza by two managers that I would be working for and my friend/contact who worked there. I went one level up from their everyday office wear, which was jeans. So I wore a denim skirt, nice top & scarf. Think typical fashion-blogger look.
The conversation had nothing to do with the job -- we talked about smartphones and commuting woes. (They talked about woes, I was very excited about commuting into the city for this job!) I didn't bring resumes to lunch, but we exchanged contact information and I emailed the files later. And also made sure I had money to pay for my slices, even though I knew it wouldn't be necessary. (The VP *happened* show up for the end of the lunch and paid.)
Two weeks later, I was invited in for a formal interview. And today I'm getting ready to put on my jeans and top and scarf to head there to work. We're having pizza for lunch today.
Good luck!
posted by kimberussell at 3:57 AM on October 17, 2013 [6 favorites]
The conversation had nothing to do with the job -- we talked about smartphones and commuting woes. (They talked about woes, I was very excited about commuting into the city for this job!) I didn't bring resumes to lunch, but we exchanged contact information and I emailed the files later. And also made sure I had money to pay for my slices, even though I knew it wouldn't be necessary. (The VP *happened* show up for the end of the lunch and paid.)
Two weeks later, I was invited in for a formal interview. And today I'm getting ready to put on my jeans and top and scarf to head there to work. We're having pizza for lunch today.
Good luck!
posted by kimberussell at 3:57 AM on October 17, 2013 [6 favorites]
-Get their name.
-Shake hands.
-Turn your phone to silent early - not before them - but while they are there. You want them to see that this meeting is important enough to you that you are giving them your full attention. Do not expect this same courtesy.
-Don't order anything too complex - really - think very very simple. If the meeting is longer than a half an hour also order a water (bottle is preferable over ice).
-Avoid couches if possible. Couches make people slouch. Slouching will put you off guard.
-Treat their time like it is valuable - it is.
-This is a time to be very very positive. Frame everything and everyone you talk to positively. Even if service is slow, find something nice to say about either the decor, or the staff, or the neighborhood... seriously - show that you see the silver lining.
-Chitchat is good, but keep personal chitchat to a minimum. Always answer questions, but try to steer personal chitchat back to the other person to let them take the lead. You can only incriminate or disqualify yourself with chitchat - unless you find out that the other person and you share a similar background story. As such, get them to chitchat, and let yourself flesh out you where you want to.
-Know what you want out of this before you go in. If you contacted them for this meeting, they probably know you want something - don't wait until you are about to leave to tell them. Let them know once the conversation finishes with pleasantries and starts to move to the meat (or veggies) of the conversation.
-Corollary on the last part. If they move to discuss their company, don't push immediately to define what you want. Instead ask them questions about workflow, get an idea of what the opportunities are, clarify the skills required for the job which you have - effectively accentuate your positives by helping them highlight the voids which you can fill.
-At the end, Get a plan of action for what happens next.
-Procedurally, move to pay for your own (unless, you called this meeting, then move to pay for both), graciously accept if they offer, pay if they don't. Shake hands, get contact information.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:40 AM on October 17, 2013 [5 favorites]
-Shake hands.
-Turn your phone to silent early - not before them - but while they are there. You want them to see that this meeting is important enough to you that you are giving them your full attention. Do not expect this same courtesy.
-Don't order anything too complex - really - think very very simple. If the meeting is longer than a half an hour also order a water (bottle is preferable over ice).
-Avoid couches if possible. Couches make people slouch. Slouching will put you off guard.
-Treat their time like it is valuable - it is.
-This is a time to be very very positive. Frame everything and everyone you talk to positively. Even if service is slow, find something nice to say about either the decor, or the staff, or the neighborhood... seriously - show that you see the silver lining.
-Chitchat is good, but keep personal chitchat to a minimum. Always answer questions, but try to steer personal chitchat back to the other person to let them take the lead. You can only incriminate or disqualify yourself with chitchat - unless you find out that the other person and you share a similar background story. As such, get them to chitchat, and let yourself flesh out you where you want to.
-Know what you want out of this before you go in. If you contacted them for this meeting, they probably know you want something - don't wait until you are about to leave to tell them. Let them know once the conversation finishes with pleasantries and starts to move to the meat (or veggies) of the conversation.
-Corollary on the last part. If they move to discuss their company, don't push immediately to define what you want. Instead ask them questions about workflow, get an idea of what the opportunities are, clarify the skills required for the job which you have - effectively accentuate your positives by helping them highlight the voids which you can fill.
-At the end, Get a plan of action for what happens next.
-Procedurally, move to pay for your own (unless, you called this meeting, then move to pay for both), graciously accept if they offer, pay if they don't. Shake hands, get contact information.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:40 AM on October 17, 2013 [5 favorites]
I've been hired this way. My current employment started with a lunch meeting -- they were thinking of creating a new position & wanted to suss me out for fit.
One thing you can do is extend the original conversation if there's a natural segue and a topic you're both interested in. "I was thinking about the SNERK you mentioned when we were out for sushi, and I was just reading in [news source] that SNERKs are now doing this cool thing..." It demonstrates a level of intellectual curiosity and connection. For example, the CEO had emailed me that they'd been trying to find a way to do FOO -- so at lunch, I had a few ideas ready on how other people do FOO and asked questions that would help me understand what his style and approach to FOO really was, then adjust my recommendations accordingly.
Have fun! And good luck!
posted by mochapickle at 6:44 AM on October 17, 2013
One thing you can do is extend the original conversation if there's a natural segue and a topic you're both interested in. "I was thinking about the SNERK you mentioned when we were out for sushi, and I was just reading in [news source] that SNERKs are now doing this cool thing..." It demonstrates a level of intellectual curiosity and connection. For example, the CEO had emailed me that they'd been trying to find a way to do FOO -- so at lunch, I had a few ideas ready on how other people do FOO and asked questions that would help me understand what his style and approach to FOO really was, then adjust my recommendations accordingly.
Have fun! And good luck!
posted by mochapickle at 6:44 AM on October 17, 2013
I was hired this way once too.
You have the advantage that you've already had an informal meeting with this person, but the disadvantage of not really knowing what this meeting is about. I don't know if there's necessarily anything that you should do differently this time - because I don't know the nature of the interactions you had the first time - considering she's now contacting you for a second informal chat. However, I agree that you should prepare for this as you would a job interview, but not be terribly put off if it ends up being more chatty than that.
posted by sm1tten at 9:06 AM on October 17, 2013
You have the advantage that you've already had an informal meeting with this person, but the disadvantage of not really knowing what this meeting is about. I don't know if there's necessarily anything that you should do differently this time - because I don't know the nature of the interactions you had the first time - considering she's now contacting you for a second informal chat. However, I agree that you should prepare for this as you would a job interview, but not be terribly put off if it ends up being more chatty than that.
posted by sm1tten at 9:06 AM on October 17, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks for all the great advice!
posted by ScarletLark at 7:10 PM on October 17, 2013
posted by ScarletLark at 7:10 PM on October 17, 2013
Response by poster: I think the meeting went quite well. Thanks again for all your advice! I have a follow-up question:
http://ask.metafilter.com/250820/Coffee-meeting-with-a-potential-employer-the-aftermath
posted by ScarletLark at 5:30 PM on October 24, 2013
http://ask.metafilter.com/250820/Coffee-meeting-with-a-potential-employer-the-aftermath
posted by ScarletLark at 5:30 PM on October 24, 2013
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Treat this like an interview, but with one exception: because this is conducted informally there may not yet be a job for you. This may be a 'sounding out', to see whether it is worth putting you forward for a job that does exist or to see if it is worth creating a job for you because there is a match between you and the needs of the employer. My old boss loved having these sorts of coffees - sometimes there would be a real job on offer, sometimes a half-baked idea for a role, sometimes nothing at all.
In short, he liked networking and he liked having options should he need to bring someone in.
Either way, treat it on interview terms unless specifically asked not to (i.e. if you are specifically asked to dress down). Be clear on what you are looking for, how quickly you might be able to start, what sort of salary you're looking for etc. Ideally, before you get asked a question like "what sort of salary do you want" you should also gently probe to see what your potential employer is looking for so you can tailor your answer.
This might be a waste of time (no job, wrong sort of job) or not. Don't get your expectations too high but be on time, look sharp, be keen, act interested.
posted by MuffinMan at 1:16 AM on October 17, 2013 [4 favorites]