Cinderella I am not
September 8, 2013 3:35 PM   Subscribe

I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding later this month, and I need shoes. Problem: I hate high heels, and they hate me right back. The bride has said she's fine with me wearing flats. I just went shopping, hoping to find some flats, and came home empty-handed. And so now I turn to you, o fashionable high-heel wearing people of Metafilter.

This is the dress: (it's in dark purple). We bridesmaids are tasked with finding silver shoes to wear with it. Which would have been totally easy if I didn't have this problem with high heels, as there were about a billion pairs of silvery, strappy, high heeled shoes at the store. The only real potential candidate I saw in the way of flats was this: The fact that the name of the shoe is "Good Jeans," though, makes me think it's not as dressy as it'll need to be.

Would this shoe look ridiculous? Are there other sources of silvery flats out there that I could order online? Or is this hopeless? I am totally fashion-impaired, as are all of my female friends, and I don't know the other bridesmaids well enough to ask, but I'm pretty sure they'll all be in heels.

(If it helps, I am violently opposed to high heels because of various foot and ankle infirmities that can be triggered by even half-an-hour of wearing high heels, resulting in days and weeks of pain and hobbling around. I am totally fine when wearing flat, non-torture-device-style shoes, so this is not something I care to look into further other than not wearing high heels unless absolutely freakin' necessary.)

Thanks for whatever fashion crumbs you can throw my way!
posted by whistle pig to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (33 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
Could you manage with kitten heels?
posted by cjorgensen at 3:40 PM on September 8, 2013

When is the wedding? Can you wear silver sandals?
posted by donajo at 3:40 PM on September 8, 2013

This sounds like a great search at zappos.

Nthing the question about sandals.
posted by oceano at 3:42 PM on September 8, 2013

I feel like you should go with strappy sandals. Maybe something like this or this?
posted by joan_holloway at 3:43 PM on September 8, 2013

These are nice. And these. I think the pointy toe makes them dressier.
posted by donajo at 3:43 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

How about these or these. Overall though if its seasonally/venue appropriate i'd look for some strappy flat sandals as they would probably look the fanciest without having a heal.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 3:47 PM on September 8, 2013 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks for your answers so far! The wedding is September 21, the last day of summer, if that somehow factors in to whether I should wear sandals or not.
posted by whistle pig at 3:48 PM on September 8, 2013

Agreed about Zappos; easy to search by heel height, color, etc. I have similar issues with my feet and wore sandals to a recent wedding. I didn't love the thong, but they were pretty and I could walk and dance in them.

posted by theora55 at 3:52 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

I agree that sandals would work well, I have a pair similar in style to these and I find them very comfortable (mine are a different brand, but same style). They're not totally flat, but I wouldn't classify them as heels either.
posted by smalls at 3:58 PM on September 8, 2013

Endorsing the delicate ever-so-strappy sandal (bare legged, of course) or a kitten heel. But the ones you linked didn't make my hair stand on end either... They're just a shade clunky but not blasphemy. Cute dress, btw
posted by Lornalulu at 4:06 PM on September 8, 2013

If you want to browse your size on eBay -- the search function is actually pretty decent for narrowing it down to style/colour/size/etc -- "Sigerson Morrison" is a brand that I have seen a lot of really tasteful silver flats from.

(If this is a thing where you are sure you will never ever wear whatever you end up with again, I would look for a recognizable brand and real leather, possibly gently used, and look for the most enormous % off the original price, wear, and re-sell)

I agree that sandals would be a good choice, but I also don't think your first pick was crazy off-base. The same shoe in black would be too casual, but in silver... Nobody would gasp in horror, certainly.
posted by kmennie at 4:06 PM on September 8, 2013

These are cute. These too. These are kinda spendy, but I think they could work.
posted by anoirmarie at 4:13 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

To be honest, I think those Kenneth Cole flats you found would be quite nice.

After all, unless you yourself tell them, nobody will know that name, 'Good Jeans'; it's like sizes: nobody is going to grab your feet and haul off your shoes to check. And those flats DO look dressy enough --- remember, a bridesmaid's feet aren't going to be a major focus point of the wedding!

But if you still don't want to wear those, check with the other bridesmaids about their shoes: if they're all wearing closed-toe shoes you should too; if they're all wearing something strappy, again you should wear strappy too.
posted by easily confused at 4:14 PM on September 8, 2013 [7 favorites]

Me and my bad feet love my SAS sandals. I have a set in black, but looks like they also come in pewter.
posted by nat at 4:18 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

Are there any ballroom/salsa dance shoe stores near you? I find most high-heel shoes unbearably uncomfortable too, but when I was taking social dance classes I got some heels for class that are my default fancy shoe now. Because they're built for dancing, they've got some support & function to them, whereas most heels I try on in a regular shoe store just seem to have been designed for looks alone. (They're kinda pricey, so, I agree with everyone who thinks the flats you picked would be fine, but if there's a dance shoe store anywhere near you they might have something cute for you.)
posted by oh yeah! at 4:30 PM on September 8, 2013

Don't rule out spray painting a cheap pair of comfortable shoes. It only needs to last a day, and Rustoleum has some fantastic finishes, including some " hammered" finishes. Try it on an old pair of shoes...for $5 bucks, it's worth a try.
posted by lobstah at 4:43 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

That Kenneth Cole flat looks perfectly suitable to me. As Easily Confused said, nobody is going to know it's called "Good Jeans" unless you tell them.

If you prefer ballet-style flats rather than sandals, Yosi Samra has some gorgeous metallic flats which are quite comfortable. They do run small and narrow, so you might need to order a size up, especially if your feet are wide. (And yes, they are expensive, but you should be able to get lots of wear out of a basic metallic flat. They go with everything! I adore my metallic ballet flats!)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 4:56 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

Enzo Angiolini makes silver flats.
posted by brujita at 5:14 PM on September 8, 2013

J Crew has these and I swear the J Crew Factory store I was in this weekend had ones that were more like ballet flats, but they don't seem to be on the website.
posted by Sabby at 5:18 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

The Kenneth Cole shoes you linked are fine. Especially if the dress is long and your shoes won't be seen closely, anyway.

I mean, it's at least as appropriate as spray painting some other shoes silver or wearing orthopedic grandma sandals in late September.
posted by Sara C. at 5:29 PM on September 8, 2013

What size do you wear? Aldo Shoes have some cute flats, assuming you're not walking around on big ol' flippers like I am. *wistful sigh*
posted by Lexica at 5:31 PM on September 8, 2013

Design your own shoes at Shoes of Prey! This is the perfect situation for them - you can have exactly the shoes you want.
posted by Kololo at 5:39 PM on September 8, 2013

When I was getting married, I was in a similar boat, I didn't have time to be driving all over town looking for the right shoe. As others have suggested, I went the Zappos route. But this is important: you can return the shoes for up to one year. So I entered my search criteria, narrowed it down to the ten that were in my price range, and ordered all of them at once. I had them shipped to my work, where I could wear them around on carpet to test them out, and I made myself leave each pair on for as long as I could tolerate. If I found myself wanting to take them off after ten minutes, they went back in the box. It was the easiest way to find the right shoes, and after a few days I had narrowed it down to the right pair, and nine pairs went back, free shipping.

The only downside: after getting a gigantic box from Zappos, my coworkers started calling me "Imelda."
posted by ambrosia at 5:45 PM on September 8, 2013 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Thank you, thank you everyone! So many good thoughts here. I'm also glad to know that my fashion sense wasn't hideously off-base with the flats I linked to. I think my next step will be to figure out what the other bridesmaids are wearing.

Wow, thanks again!
posted by whistle pig at 6:00 PM on September 8, 2013

Payless has a lot of silver flats that are cheap and sufficiently dressy; I can't find a picture of the sparkly ones with a bow that I have, but here's a silver sparkly pair as an example (it shows the gold initially but you can click on the colour box to show silver).
posted by ilana at 6:08 PM on September 8, 2013

I forgot about London Sole. The cutest ballet flats I've seen, although a bit pricy.
posted by Lexica at 6:12 PM on September 8, 2013

I just had this problem with finding bridesmaid shoes for my brother's wedding, which was yesterday. I too have foot and ankle problems which preclude heels of any kind AND I'm 33 weeks pregnant, so I fully understand your dilemma. I ended up in these, which are dressier in person than they look. They were comfortable and cushioned enough to get me through me an entire day of standing and running around, I will absolutely wear them again, and you can't beat the price. My feet were tired at the end of the day but they did NOT hurt, which must be some kind of wedding day miracle.
posted by anderjen at 6:41 PM on September 8, 2013 [1 favorite]

Personally, unless the other bridesmaids were going for understated pewter, I'd totally go with glittery ones.

The payless ones ilana linked to are cutes, as well as these Betsey Johnson ones with a scalloped edge from the Zappos search oceano did.
posted by clerestory at 6:56 PM on September 8, 2013

How about these?
posted by biscuits at 7:33 PM on September 8, 2013

If it's your thing I suggest you swing by a thrift store or three to check out their selection. Before the last time I attended a wedding, I looked at my clog/boot/flipflop collection and grumbled at the idea of shelling out bucks for a one-day event for shoes I'd likely never wear again. On a whim I checked my local Value Village and found the cutest pair of high-end 1" sandals in the exact turquoise of my skirt. Three bucks. Silver sandals at the end of summer? Chances could be good!

And that silver spray paint idea? Brilliant. Keep that in mind if you find the perfect thrift-store sandals in a pale shade that's not silver. Could be worth the try and think how proud you'll feel if they turn out awesome!
posted by AnOrigamiLife at 8:00 PM on September 8, 2013

I love the shoes you've linked to in the original post! I think they would be completely suitable for a wedding.

I rather like Ecco's ballerina flats. Here is a search filtered for ballerina flats in metallic colours.

Recently I went to a wedding in flat shoes. Not only did NO ONE care, but I probably enjoyed myself more than any of the other girls. It was an outdoor wedding, with a lot of walking over grass and cobbly paths, and all my friends were in agony from about an hour into the wedding.
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:10 AM on September 9, 2013

You have some great recommendations. And for a bridesmaids dress, that's kind of pretty.

Try "Silver Beaded" and you'll get some really pretty sandals.

Here are some Steve Maddens.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:41 AM on September 9, 2013

Okay, I'm probably too late, but I just saw these and thought of your question!
posted by Mchelly at 6:50 AM on September 12, 2013

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