Amazing ideas for writing a Cat blog (from perspective of cat)???
August 29, 2013 9:44 PM   Subscribe

A friend of mine would like to start a cat blog (maybe with social media add-ons - Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat etc.) which would center around pretending to be her pet cat writing the blog. Beyond this , what would be some fun things for the blog to specialize in? This is just for fun (neither she nor the cat is not seeking fame and fortune through this project; it might be for a public audience though). She turned to me for suggestions but I'm tapped out. What do you guys think? Not too time-consuming or complicated, ideally. Something she could do tens of thousands of times without getting bored (I am trying to quietly encourage my friend's transition into full-blown Cat Lady status, so please help.)
posted by zresearch to Pets & Animals (16 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Cat food reviews. Is fancy feast really fancy?
posted by hal_c_on at 9:48 PM on August 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

How about a pretense of the cat being a drug (catnip) addict, and the blog details the trials and tribulations of recoveries, interventions, and relapses?
posted by SquidLips at 9:49 PM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

Discourses on the finer points of cat culture. I don't know what the hell it would be but something like The New York Review Of Books or McSweeney's for cat things would be hilarious.

"Chewie Mousey, $5.95, Target"

"The history of the Mousey begins in Prague, where a bookseller named..."
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:01 PM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

photos taken by the cat of stuff like, say, funny things the cat has hidden under the sofa, looking up peoples' noses, hairballs as works of art...
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:27 PM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Alternately, (or possibly additionally), an A.V. Club/Pitchfork/hip snarky take on various pop cultural things but cat pop culture (and imagining cat pop culture has me imagining a load of things), so, like "The Dog Next Door's latest attempt to chase me is a sophomoric effort indicating a lack of imagination when it comes to pursuing cats. Most of his ideas seem to come from vintage Looney Tunes rather than anything made in, say, the last 50 years..."
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:37 PM on August 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

When I did this ten years ago (for my Chat Malo, the blog has been defunct for a while – bad breakup happened a year later, couldn't keep up with moderation), I went full-bore with the anthromorphization. In other words, view the world from your cats' eyes, with feline-influenced human sensibilities. You (cat) have your own personality, and see the world through that prism. With that outlook and a human vocabulary, the possibilities are endless. For a short example you could also check out my own kitty's activity, currently she's only made one comment though. She took a nap after that one, woke up several hours later and pounced on her adopted brother, forgetting entirely about the internet for the time being. (Her big brother has always been reticent about technology and tends to prefer one-on-one interactions. Susu, on the other hand, jumped at the chance to get a MeFi account.)

Also, this is, naturally, with the assumption that your friend will want to write with adult human expressions and vocabulary, as opposed to Lolcatspeak. I've never been able to translate into lolcat, so wouldn't be much help with that.

And as my Susu pitchounette often reminds me, one does not need to have anything deeply meaningful to say in order to say it. In other words, if your friend ever gets stuck, she can take inspiration from her cat, who undoubtedly expresses him/herself no matter how lazy their day has been.
posted by fraula at 12:39 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Take the big topics: culture, politics, business, sport, weather, home and lifestyle, science and technology, environment, shopping etc and write about them from a cat's perspective.

There is a big trend in personal monitoring tech (Jawbone Up etc). I don't know if there is a easy equivalent for pets, but it would be interesting to see a cat's activity and sleep charts. And funny with commentary.
posted by MuffinMan at 3:33 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Not sure how you'd work it in, but you really need to have some pics of the cat's feet, possibly standing in a circle with other cats' feet, with some stupid filter over it, like those ubiquitous twee pictures every chick seems to have that show off how all their friends own shoes.
posted by phunniemee at 4:08 AM on August 30, 2013 [3 favorites]

The cat could have a fascination with the activities of the squirrel it sees outside which gradually over the course of months develops into an obsession, even a paranoia as the cat begins to interpret the squirrel's habits as being directed at the cat, hopping on lawns or munching nuts being encoded messages of psychosexual drama which only the cat is able to decipher; the cat tries to respond by clawing drapes, tracing shapes on the ground by batting balls of yarn around, hissing at invisible objects etcetera but the squirrel apparently rejects these attempts at direct communication which the cat realizes after weeks of intense thought is because this all must be kept secret from the humans for dire and yet unknown reasons, hence the obscure secret messages and so forth which the cat spends all his time on the blog trying to decipher but here's the twist: the cat being a cat does not realize that there is more than one squirrel in the world, it thinks all squirrels are the same squirrel, then one day the cat sees two squirrels at the same time and that is the last post on the blog
posted by ook at 5:22 AM on August 30, 2013 [7 favorites]

The cat could be an inventor. One of his projects would be the creation of a better wet food dispenser, one that could store and dispense wet cat food for four days at least. Posts could detail the various aspects of developing his inventions, for example, experimental determination of the kinematic viscosity of wet cat food.
posted by Rob Rockets at 5:24 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Maybe the cat will have a Pintrest board, except it consists solely of well-lot photos of hairballs it's horked up.
posted by phunniemee at 5:25 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Buzzfeed's Cat Internet, which is along similar lines, might have some ideas. You could do pretty much infinite variations on cat-created memes about humans.
posted by eponym at 6:44 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Following on ook's comment, what if you wrote about how confusing the world is to a cat. In their mind, meowing at the door = pressing the doorbell. Toilet bowl = fresh water spring. House = his domain. Whenever people bring things into the house, he must sniff it for contraband (like he's customs & immigration). Or the scratching post is also a bed (but to us it's actually a couch, but they don't know what a couch is). I've seen stuff written that does this poorly - too obviously a person writing for people - but just re-vision the world as how a cat interacts with it.

For the love of god, don't write in lolspeak, and the cat-as-misunderstood-genuis is a trope.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:49 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

If my cats were to start a blog, it would be a telethon about how tragic their lives are. They only got bonito flakes and not caviar. They make do with stuffed mice instead of the real thing.

But my torti always looks so sad and depressed.
posted by politikitty at 1:38 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

How to Effectively Train your Human to Do Exactly What You Want and Have All your Needs Met All the Time.
posted by miles1972 at 2:55 PM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Thanks for your purr-ific ideas everyone!
posted by zresearch at 12:32 PM on September 29, 2013

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