Boob pockets and panty stuffing

August 23, 2013 12:27 PM

We're going to Vegas in 3 weeks and I want to be able to spend my days walking around without having a purse always looped over my shoulder. My clothes don't have pockets. Fanny packs are the work of Satan. Is it a terrible idea to keep my often accessed stuff (cash, credit cards) in my bra and more important stuff (like health insurance card, driver's licence, etc) hidden in my panties? What should I do with my phone (that is also my camera)?

My ultimate goal:
1. not have to carry a purse or any other such item
2. have my money and cards not visible but easily accessible
3. have my emergency cards not visible, don't care about how easily accessible they are
4. have my phone easily accessible, preferably not visible
5. have everything be more or less secure, safe from pickpockets/thieves/RFID scanner types


problems:
1. I am going to primarily be wearing long dresses. Yes, I will be wearing little yoga shorts under them to prevent chub rub, but they too don't have pockets AND I don't want to have to hoist up my skirt to get at stuff
2. it is going to be hot (Las Vegas... desert... you know) so I'm concerned about sweat
3. my phone is big and harder to hide.
4. My fiance grumps enough about having to carry his own wallet and phone, no way will he take mine. LOL
5. The dress/shirts I wear are generally pretty boobalicious, so keeping things hidden as part of my top isn't excessively likely
6. I don't want to BUY things. I will make just about anything, I am very crafty and good at sewing. I just don't want to buy things because I don't want to spent the money, plus I am not small and things that are "one size fits all" never fit and it sucks.


I have big boobs and I am a long time believer in the usefulness of bras as pockets. Bank cards, cash, hotel key, lip gloss can all fit comfortably and non-visibly in my bra, so I think I have that settled. (How worried do I need to be ovre RFID scanners? Should I keep my cards in an RFID protected wallet/sleeves? Or is that overkill?) I don't want to keep EVERYTHING there, though, so I was thinking of keeping the "in case of emergency" stuff in my panties. (I will probably sew a little velcro pocket into my undies, this is not a big deal, I sew a lot). I know you can buy hidden pocket shorts and stuff, but I am not a small girl, those things won't fit me, and I'm cheap. I'd rather just make my own.

Am I forgetting something? Is there a reason why this could be a bad idea?



My phone is an issue. It is a samsung galaxy, so it isn't small. I *CAN* fit it in my bra cup, but it is usually kinda visable, one way or another. I want to be able to have easy access to it, but I'm not so prissy that I'm against digging around a bit under my top to get it. I am considering sewing a little elastic type sling on to the side of my bra so that my phone would be held between my body and my bra band. Is THIS a bad idea? Is there some other phone concealing option I'm missing?

posted by PuppetMcSockerson to Travel & Transportation (53 answers total)

Since you can sew, is there a reason why you're not considering just adding pockets to your dress?

Sorry if that seems really obvious, but it would be the easiest for your phone/wallet.
posted by larthegreat at 12:33 PM on August 23, 2013 [8 favorites]

You could sew little card/phone sized holster/pockets to the outside of your bra cups? (In the area generally known as the sideboob area, i mean, as this will be less sweaty than cleavage area)

You could also make (or buy, of course) a garter purse and have it on the outside of your thigh under the skirt of your dress.

There are also those upper-arm holster/purse things that athletic companies make for carrying larger mp3 players/phones; you could google a few and make yourself something similar?

Think for a moment how you are going to feel removing stuff from your underwear in public. I for one would not be down for all the gross creepy comments that would ensue.
posted by elizardbits at 12:38 PM on August 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Your stuff is going to get awfully sweaty in your bra, which will make your money damp and your skin uncomfortable.

You could get one of these sports bras with pockets, but if i were you i'd get one of these hip bags, which are as convenient as fanny packs, but more fashionable and less devil-y.
posted by Kololo at 12:39 PM on August 23, 2013 [6 favorites]

Make yourself something like this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/152721476/calf-holster-leg-purse?ref=shop_home_active
posted by mollymayhem at 12:39 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wouldn't it be easier to have a tiny bag you can wear like a backpack or around your neck--something decorative and lightweight? Won't it be a hassle to have all the stuff loose about your person? Things could drop out. I wouldn't want to lose keys and cards.
posted by feste at 12:39 PM on August 23, 2013

Also if your insurance/DL/etc cards are just cards and you won't need frequent access to them, would your fiance really object to carrying a few more cards in his wallet?
posted by elizardbits at 12:40 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

(Also: honestly, all the crap in your bra and underwear is going to be way more of a pain than just slinging small & light cross body bag over your shoulder.
posted by Kololo at 12:40 PM on August 23, 2013 [28 favorites]

Magellan's has tons of this sort of thing. I'm sure you could make these yourself: hidden arm wallet, hidden leg wallet, undercover bra stash, undercover money belt.

I'm an experienced traveler (including several stints in Vegas) and I've never used an RFID blocker, but if you think you might need one, look no further.
posted by divined by radio at 12:42 PM on August 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

Money belt.

Neck wallet.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:42 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Don't stuff all of that crap in your underwear! Just get (or make) a little wristlet/clutch! I recently came back from Vegas and took a wristlet from H&M that was just barely big enough to fit my phone, license, credit cards, some cash, and a tube of lipstick. That's all you need, really. It had a little wrist strap to secure if I needed it, but really it was small enough to just carry in my hand or under my arm.
posted by joan_holloway at 12:43 PM on August 23, 2013 [11 favorites]

I have run carrying cards/keys/cash in built-in pockets in a skin-tight tank top and it was really unpleasant when I had to fish any of it out in public despite being nowhere near my boobs. Also, sweaty. So: arm band with a pocket? If sneakers: Runner ID style pocket? To be honest I usually carry around my phone et al. in a wristlet. It's basically phone-tight but there's enough for cash, cards, and easy access to my phone without dumping out all of the above. Way easier to conceal than a purse; easy to carry via the wrist strap.
posted by jetlagaddict at 12:43 PM on August 23, 2013

Best answer: Las Vegas is HOT and your stuff's going to be sweaty. And as a former retail employee, being handed sweaty money or credit cards from a woman's bra was one of the lowest points.

I know it's not the answer you're looking for, but a small bag is the way to go.
posted by kimberussell at 12:44 PM on August 23, 2013 [44 favorites]

You will be a lot more comfortable if you just wear things with pockets. Men's jeans have bigger pockets than women's jeans, I think.

You could also pay someone to add pockets for you -- bonus: you can get larger pockets than usual added.

However, if you have a longish dress made from light material, that hangs loosely (i.e., no cinched waist), a heavy thing in a pocket will often make the dress hang oddly.

The fact that you're planning to wear shorts under your dress, and it's going to be hot, inclines me to advocate still further for wearing something more comfortable.
posted by amtho at 12:44 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

New idea: could you get a travel satchel/bag that you and your dude could share? He carries it, you carry it sometimes, etc.? You can, this way, carry water and other supplies and potentially save money.

I have a travel satchel that's awesome - it's small, black, doesn't look feminine-ish, has two pockets on each end for water bottles/umbrellas, and the handle is steel-cable reinforced so it can't be sliced by a thief. It also has a special hooking mechanism so it's not easy to steal from a chair back.

Check the travel outfitting sites and get something for both of you!
posted by amtho at 12:47 PM on August 23, 2013

This scarf seems like something useful as well as something you could probably whip up yourself.
posted by maxg94 at 12:49 PM on August 23, 2013 [5 favorites]

Am I forgetting something? Is there a reason why this could be a bad idea?

Since you asked, I'll share my experience with this being kind of a bad idea (for me!):

I didn't want to bring a purse to Disneyland. I just didn't. I wanted to be hands free and not worried about someone snatching my purse, or more likely, just trying to keep it from falling off my shoulder all day. I don't do crossbody bags because they don't mix well with my giant boobs.

I was wearing jeans, so I had pockets! It sounds like this won't even be an option for you. Even with pockets, it sucked. I was uncomfortable. I bought a slimmer wallet & had that in a back pocket, phone in the other back pocket, key, blistex, etc in front pockets. Switched the wallet to the front because I was paranoid about pickpockets - that was even more uncomfortable and I felt totally frump with all my bulging pockets.

So I ended up buying a mini crossbody bag (kind of like this Fossil one but cheaper), and it was awesome and didn't even make my boobs look too crazy.
posted by peep at 12:56 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

One more suggestion: if you will be wearing skirts at all, you could slip this under the waistband (no visible fanny pack look) and it's GREAT! It expands to fit at least an iphone with a sturdy case; you might be able to fit the Galaxy in there. SPI belt.
posted by peep at 12:59 PM on August 23, 2013

Best answer: I say this with total love: I don't think it's okay to hand an unsuspecting person something that you just had in your underwear!!!!! (Like if you went to the pharmacy and handed the cashier your health insurance card that you just had in your underwear... or, I don't know how old you are, but some bars have a policy of carding EVERYONE so you would hand the bouncer the DL that you just had in your underwear...) I think it's wrong! People shouldn't have to handle stuff that other people just had in their underwear. And then, what about the people who are next in line and will have their stuff handled by the person who just handled what you had in your underwear?

I think this is just super unsanitary and anti-social in the sense that people would probably be really upset if they knew you were doing it.
posted by cairdeas at 1:00 PM on August 23, 2013 [41 favorites]

Please don't put anything that other people might have to handle - including driver's license and the like - in your underwear. The bra doesn't sound much better if things are going to be getting sweaty. Even if they ARE safely protected in a separate pouch, the person who has to receive it from you probably doesn't know that.

I pretty much refuse to carry a purse, ever, but I do have a small backpack from Target that works just swell - most of the time I forget I'm even wearing it. If you don't want a fanny pack, maybe something like that would work?
posted by DingoMutt at 1:00 PM on August 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Especially in Vegas where you will be sweating!!!!!
posted by cairdeas at 1:00 PM on August 23, 2013

Clutch wristlet. Stuffing things in your underthings is for emergencies or prison.
posted by amanda at 1:01 PM on August 23, 2013 [4 favorites]

I want to second that as a former retail employee, some of the lower points of the job included accepting money from people's underclothing. Also it just sounds really uncomfortable to me to be jamming that many items into your bra and panties on hot days in Vegas.

My friend who is a frequent traveler to Vegas recommends either a wristlet (preferably with an adjustable-enough loop that it won't fall off) or a mini crossbody bag. I've also seen some cute "belts with pockets" on etsy but don't know if that would work with your style/dresses.
posted by sm1tten at 1:01 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm nthing everyone who thinks you should get a small bag. For similar traveling purposes I just got this very small crossbody bag which is only big enough for my phone and important cards. It's so lightweight I don't even notice it at all.
posted by something something at 1:02 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

What about sewing yourself a garter with a pocket/holster? You could have the phone on one leg and everything else on the other. And if you had to access stuff suddenly it would be way easier than getting it from the underwear. And way more sanitary...
posted by cairdeas at 1:04 PM on August 23, 2013

Check out running supply stores. They'll have all sorts of pockets and pouches you can strap to your wrists, arms, ankles and such. I use one of these for running. I used to carry Epi-pens in a fanny pack type thing. What kind of shoes will you be wearing? You could get a small pocket type thing to attach to a pair of sneakers.

That said, I would much rather carry a small light purse. When I'm traveling hot places, I like to have a water bottle all the time. I also like wristlets.
posted by kat518 at 1:09 PM on August 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

Sweetie, no.

Get a nice bag, something lightweight, a cross-body is best and just suck it up.

Las Vegas is NO place to be keeping your shit close to your body.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:09 PM on August 23, 2013 [3 favorites]

I am having a reaction to the panties thing so I just need to say one more thing and it is graphic. If you keep that stuff in your underwear for a bunch of hot days in Vegas, it's going to smell like crotch. STRONGLY. Even if you keep it in a velcro pocket, even if you are a totally clean person, etc. It would smell like that if I did it, it would smell like that if anyone here did it, I am pretty sure. Even if you didn't smell it, other people would.
posted by cairdeas at 1:10 PM on August 23, 2013 [6 favorites]

When I first started traveling, I got one of those flat fabric money belts that you're meant to wear under your clothes, and it was sweaty and uncomfortable in climates that weren't as intense as the desert, so my stuff got damp and therefore was unpleasant to handle. I think your proposed underwear pockets will have worse problems, if anything.

I use a small crossbody, small backpack-style purse, or wristlet/clutch in hands-free and/or pickpockety situations now, and am much happier. I've only had one incident of theft, so far, and it was when I left my bag in a car.
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:14 PM on August 23, 2013

I think an essential goal here is having what you carry paired down to the very minimum. I'd fit every thing you carry into something like this metal wallet, plus your phone. It has the advantages of being water resistant, and RFID resistant. If what you are carrying is as light weight as possible, it'll be less annoying however you end up storing it.

So, how do you store it?

Adding pockets to a dress/skirt with side seams is pretty painless.

I personally find wristlets very annoying, but thats one option. Many phone cases even have card slots and wristlets that could suit you well.

Then theres the boob/undies option. It is socially awkward. You might not mind digging out your phone when it starts ringing, but it won't go unnoticed by your friends, random strangers, etc. I would also point out, that if you can routinely squirrel away lots of stuff into your bra, you're wearing the wrong size, or you're not doing yourself any favors in terms of support.

I would say that the metal case, in your shorts, not undies, on the outer thigh, might be OK, if you could discreetly remove it while sitting with your legs crossed at a table. Same a some homemade garter belt.

I'd try finding or making a very light weight cross body bag with an adjustable strap. If it is light, you won't find it annoying.

Its also worth mentioning that you can probably do more to protect yourself from being a pick-pocket target by not being an easy mark, e.g.: drunk, distracted, impaired, or holding something you can't drop and run after the thief (a baby, a bicycle, big suitcase, etc).
posted by fontophilic at 1:22 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah, sorry, but I must add to the chorus, this is a terrible idea. A lightweight cross-body bag (either purchased or sewn by you) no bigger than the largest object you want to carry (so probably your phone) is absolutely the way to go. You'll barely even notice you have it with you in the way you would with lots of tiny, sweaty objects tucked in random locations all over your person.
posted by anderjen at 1:23 PM on August 23, 2013

Best answer: I'm not so prissy that I'm against digging around a bit under my top to get it.

To speak for some of the people who would have to watch you do this... the rest of us are. Even in Vegas this would be kind of embarrassing for people around you. My suggestion is to sew yourself a quick little wrist wrap like joggers use. Something like this.
posted by MsMolly at 1:32 PM on August 23, 2013 [8 favorites]

Best answer: If you're going to be wearing little yoga shorts under your dress, you could easily put a cargo-pocket on the outside thigh of the shorts. Unless the dresses in question are super-duper-clingy, that shape won't be visible for something as thick as a few ID cards, or even something like a passport or extra $100 cash or whatever you need to have not-so accessible. Outside of the thigh, in a pocket of the bike shorts, this is like your "in the panties" model but not so skin-contact-y, as well as being easier to take a bathroom break without accidentally sticking your drivers license to your sweaty butt then dropping it in the toilet when you sit. (note, another reason that the "panties" plan is a bad idea).

You could then cut a discreet slit in one side-seam of your dress, which you could reach through to access this pocket, at which point you could keep your hotel key, cash&debit card, etc. on the right thigh with a slit, and the backup IDs on your left thigh with no slit.
posted by aimedwander at 1:34 PM on August 23, 2013 [8 favorites]

Agreeing with everyone else that you just need a clutch or tiny crossbody bag (I just bought this one which is so light it's like it's not even there) but I also just want to throw out there that if you're a woman who always carries a purse and during this trip you disregard all our advice and decide to put your stuff in your underwear, you are going to spend SO MUCH TIME patting yourself down, having minor freakouts because you convince yourself that you left your purse somewhere before you remember that you're not carrying one. Trust me, this happens to me all.the.time when I decide to go light and leave my bag at home and always negates the hassle of carrying a purse.
posted by jabes at 1:37 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

I would suggest making a neck wallet, as well. Depending on how loose the dresses are, you could wear it under your clothes (but outside your bra!) to keep it more hidden, but the strap around the neck would mean that you wouldn't have to dig into your cleavage to pull it up.
posted by jaguar at 1:43 PM on August 23, 2013

Why not just get a small backpack? You can get one with thin fabric and keep a frozen bottle of water in it and walking around with that against your back is divine.

When I lived in Vegas & would be out walking around, that's the way I dealt with things when I needed to be hands free & it was warm outside. That way you can also stash the extra sunscreen all of those damn mist systems will melt off your body.
posted by haplesschild at 1:50 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

So, you're going to Vegas when it's going to be realllllllly fucking hot and you want to carry your stuff in your bra and underwear?!?

This is a terrible idea. Just get a really small Sportsac or something. You will ruin all your stuff with sweat if you carry it that close to your body. Or add a zippered pocked to your dress.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 1:51 PM on August 23, 2013

This is going to be uncomfortable and off-putting (boob sweat, crotch)...and quite possibly utterly counter-productive.

Because when you think you've got a $20 left and you can't find it betwixt your boobs and you're groping around distracted and increasingly panicked that it fell out somehow, it's going to be a big neon arrow pointing at you and your fiance flashing "OH LOOK A MARK."

Also, what are you going to do with your change?
posted by desuetude at 1:54 PM on August 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

Consider where money may have been before you put it next to your skin. Ick.
BTW, where did you plan to put the inevitable coins? Would a purse with an over shoulder strap solve your carrying problems?
posted by Cranberry at 1:55 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

My friends and I used to stash our ID and cash in our bras when we went out, until my roommate lost a bunch of cash and such this way.
posted by radioamy at 2:06 PM on August 23, 2013

Eddie Bauer had a linen jean jacket with envelope pockets this summer, but they weren't big enough for my droid.
posted by brujita at 2:06 PM on August 23, 2013

Response by poster: Wow. Message received! Boob pockets are no longer being considered. Where I come from it isn't an uncommon thing to do but Yeh... Perhaps I should classy it up a bit, eh?
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 2:17 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

My personal solution is a very small cross-body bag like this that will hold my phone, wallet, some meds and a pen (and not much else) I wear it cross body (not on one shoulder) with the purse part slightly to the front of my hip (so I can see if someone tries to fiddle with it. It has a zipper (safer than velcro or snap, I think). It stays out of my way, doesn't tire my shoulder and feels secure enough. The only improvement I could think of would be to replace the strap with a chain that started was sewn into the bag so someone couldn't just cut the strap. Still, even without it, being small, cross-body to the front and zipped, even if it could be stolen, I figure that any pickpocket would find much more attractive targets that me.

By the way, this style is popular now - if you wanted to buy, you should be able to find one for less than Macy's and if you are comfortable sewing zippers, it would be easy to make.
posted by metahawk at 3:03 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Phone, cards, cash, hotel key.

There are quasi-stealth wallets built into iPhone cases where you have room for two cards, a key and some cash. I'm betting they also make those for the Samsung Galaxy.

Lip gloss - do you mean gloss or do you mean chapstick? You can get lip glosses with loops attached for use as bag charms. With the chapstick, you use a needle to poke two holes in the lid, thread a loop to that, and attach it to a thing.

What about your hand gel? In the US you can get those Purell attachable mini ones, right? Get one of those too.

Get a neck purse, put the Galaxy wallet in it, and attach or insert the hand gel and lip gloss.

Or if you wear a belt you can thread a small envelope-style-closure leather purse through that, and have something less objectionable than a fanny pack.

If it weren't Vegas I'd also vote for the pocket scarf.
posted by tel3path at 3:04 PM on August 23, 2013

If you're crafty and willing to make something, you could try your hand at a knock-off of something like Luxirare's super cute wallet necklaces and mini iPhone wallet necklaces.
posted by mon-ma-tron at 3:25 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Women's clothing should have pockets! But since most of my skirts don't, I wear what is basically a pocket, and what others above call a cross-body bag. I only carry my phone, credit & ID cards, and cash.
posted by theora55 at 4:03 PM on August 23, 2013

I LOVE hiding things in my bra. If I'm running out to the store, credit card and DL go in the bra. When I work out, inhaler goes right between the knockers. But definitely in Vegas, it will be too sweaty and too gross. If you aren't into a wristlet (which I nth as the best solution; I use mine all the time when I need more space than my bosoms allow), try making something like this super-slim moneybelt. It would work well with skirts but would be awkward with a dress.
posted by assenav at 4:30 PM on August 23, 2013

I too was once in retail; the idea of watching while you fish around in your undies or your bra for money/creditcards/etc and before you hand over the sweaty results...... yeah: please don't, it's icky.

If you're going to be with your SO, then there's no need for you to take your phone: he's *right there*, you won't need to call or text him. Leave the phone in your hotel room. Ditto with most of the stuff in your wallet: you won't need most of that junk, so why haul it around?

Alternatively, instead of a purse or fanny pack, there are nice small (usually leather) pouches that are designed to hang from belts. (If you can't find one, try making your own.) It would be more attractive than a fanny pack and WAY more dignified than groping yourself in public.
posted by easily confused at 5:46 PM on August 23, 2013

I agree with everyone else that you should just carry a little bag. BUT: out-of-the-box suggestion -- google 'insulin pump garter'.
posted by kestrel251 at 6:42 PM on August 23, 2013

The first thing I thought of was petticoat pockets which women used to wear before wearing trousers was really an option. There's some diagrams there that show arrangements etc which might inspire your craftiness. But basically not a lot different from adding pockets to your skirt, which I would think would be the best arrangement if it won't ruin the lines (when castigated for keeping things in my pockets, I generally reply that I have no lines to ruin, just curves!)
posted by Athanassiel at 10:43 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Take phone pictures of things like your insurance card and leave the actual card in your hotel room. Most of the time you need the info off the card, not the physical card.
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 11:17 PM on August 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Go to TJ Maxx or Marshall's and rummage around in their clearance bin. You should be able to find a small cross-body nylon or microfiber Baggalini that will be so light that you will hardly know it's there. I've found the triple zip model for as little as $16. Comfortable, convenient and sanitary!

http://www.baggallini.com/product/Triple-Zip-Bagg
posted by JaneL at 9:49 AM on August 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

I like backpack purses. Inner pockets and plenty of zippers feel secure enough for me. More comfortable than a bag than inevitably winds up annoying one shoulder, and keeps my hands free. Many can be easily swung around to sit in front or hang off one shoulder for versatility. My favorite one had a cellphone pocket on the front of one of the straps.
posted by Salamandrous at 3:11 PM on August 24, 2013 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I found a Baggalini and I think it should be good. Boring looking, but very functional. It is comfortable, light, enough storage to hold what I need. No boob pockets here! Consider me reformed!
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 6:48 AM on August 28, 2013 [4 favorites]