Put A Ring On ... Me
August 20, 2013 1:43 PM   Subscribe

I'd like a distinctive but minimalist (i.e. no filigree) men's wedding ring, preferably in black metal. I absolutely need the fit and metal to be of the "I completely forgot I have a ring on" variety. Keywords to help me Google are just as welcome as specific rings, stores (web/NYC), guides, etc.

I have tactile sensitivity issues, and I also tend to get fidgety with jewelry. It is a vicious circle that bugs me to no end, and which is why I don't often wear rings and so on. This I would like to wear regularly, so the less time and effort it takes me to get used to it, the better.

I'm not totally clear on how these things are priced, but I don't want to spend more than ~$400.
posted by griphus to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (19 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'd try on a black titanium comfort fit wedding band at a local jeweler if you can find one. Alternatively you could try another comfort fit band to see if you like it, if they don't have black titanium, then order one in the correct size. They can be found for less than $20. If you're concerned about titanium being hard to cut off (for example if you gain weight or your finger swells for some reason), a jeweler can cut one off quite easily.

I had similar issues with rings being uncomfortable for me and a comfort fit band minimized the problem for me. It's also easier to take off and put back on.
posted by empyrean at 1:51 PM on August 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Amazon has a lot of Men's Rings. I got a tungsten one for $25. There are several types with a black finish, all pretty cheap.
posted by sanka at 1:51 PM on August 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


I suggest a titanium or stainless steel ring. They are less expensive. However "black metal" will be plated - usually plated titanium or stainless steel, which means the black wears off, leaving the silver titanium below. I suggest just going with regular titanium, honestly.

You are probably looking for what they call "comfort fit" as far as style. (Comfort fit titanium search on Overstock).

Comfort fit means that the inside is kind of rounded and smooth, so you don't get sharp edges. I also suggest titanium as it's a little lighter weight, and less expense, allowing you to maybe order a few styles and see what you like best.

I really liked Overstock's customer service as far as rings. My husband's ring was a half size too small and the exchange process was really easy and their online support was helpful. I'd suggest them over Amazon, as with Amazon you can get all different retailers/return policies, whereas Overstock processes all their own returns.

Do you already know your size? If not go to a jeweler and get sized prior to ordering. You may have to do an exchange though as some rings run small or large. You want a ring to fit snugly and not fall off. That means it takes a little tug to get over your nuckle, but doesn't cut off circulation or anything.

Also, just by wearing a ring you will get used to it. It may take a few months. My husband had never worn a ring before but got used to it pretty quickly.
posted by Crystalinne at 1:52 PM on August 20, 2013


Response by poster: ...the black wears off, leaving the silver titanium below.

Is that a completely inevitable thing or can I get a protective coating or something?
posted by griphus at 2:01 PM on August 20, 2013


Is that a completely inevitable thing or can I get a protective coating or something?

So my husband has this ion-plated stainless steel ring, and it's done the best out of any. It's been nearly a year and a half and it's still plated, but the edges have worn down.

My ex-fiancé's black plated titanium rings (two of them, different ones) both wore down about 40% to 50% within about 3 to 6 months. My dad's black plated titanium wedding ring (he's on mefi too, maybe he has a more updated report) wore down really quickly as well. There are different plating techniques that may stick better, but overall, plating will come off.

As far as I know, there's not much you can do other than getting it re-plated perhaps, but I don't know the cost or availability of that. It would probably just be easier to replace the ring itself, get used to the silver showing, or just buy a silver color (titanium/stainless steel/gold) one to begin with.
posted by Crystalinne at 2:08 PM on August 20, 2013


First of all, I totally feel you, I hate wearing jewelry, it bugs the living daylights out of me.

That said, the Comfort Fit ring is as advertised. We got ours at Costco, but there are plenty of places you can find them.

Mazel Tov!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 2:08 PM on August 20, 2013


If you don't find something in metal, I'd like to suggest wearing an o-ring as a ring. Both my +1 and I wear one in addition to our metal wedding rings. Since they're designed to be used in mechanical situations, you can actually get them in both metric and English sizes and if you'd like, I might be able to borrow an entire range of them for you to figure out what your finger's diameter is.

They are black, light, very slightly stretchy, chemically resistant, and easily replaceable.

McMaster Carr sells them.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:10 PM on August 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


The ring we bought from Amazon came from "the Amazon Curated Collection" aka Amazon LLC. My husband was similar to you in "don't want to know I'm wearing it" factor, but he really likes his ring. He's a drummer, and sometimes he even keeps it on during practice (I say "sometimes" because he is really capable of a workout, so I don't blame him!). He'd been married before and worn a very light ring; he'd tried on some others in a local store. The Amazon ring felt right (he said so the minute he tried it on) and cost much less without feeling cheap. Nice weight, very plain.
posted by Madamina at 2:11 PM on August 20, 2013


Black options that aren't metal and therefore may not wear may include: Ceramic

I have not used ceramic and therefore don't know about the wear or color issues.
posted by Crystalinne at 2:12 PM on August 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


My husband has a tungsten ring - super lightweight, black metal, inexpensive, minimalist style. Take a look on Blue Nile for some ideas.
posted by joan_holloway at 2:14 PM on August 20, 2013


We got matching Tiffany midnight titanium coin edge rings. The black does not scratch and both look like new after years of wear. The softer silver edges do scratch, but nothing that bothers or really shows.

I am seldom aware of it when it's on my finger, but I don't have sensitivity issues.

As you see, Tiffany no longer carries it, but google the keywords and you'll find similar offerings, and even some used Tiffany brand on eBay.

Original cost new was $350 + tax.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 2:51 PM on August 20, 2013


So I work in a jewellers (but am nothing like an expert.)

Ceramic is a good option if you like the feel, it's very light and highly scratch resistant, and the colour won't fade at all. They can look brand new for years. It's also meant to be hypoallergenic. It can shatter with impact though, and I don't know if it's even possible to get it cut off.

Tungsten and titanium are really very similar, but the tungsten is seriously noticeably heavier. Titanium is feather light in comparison. If you hold the two together the difference is obvious and most people seem to strongly prefer one or the other, so if you can try both on that might help. You shouldn't have an issue getting them cut off, but they cannot be re-sized so if that happens you will have to buy a brand new one (if that matters to you).

If you want something you can get re-sized, palladium is a metal similar to platinum but a darker grey, and much more common and therefore more reasonably priced - although it's not as hard as titanium and tungsten. I don't know if it will fall into your price range, as I am not in the US.

Also, "comfort fit" will sometimes be called "court" shaped instead - all it usually means is that the inside of the ring is curved rather than flat.

Anything plated will wear off. Ion coating or PVD are the best that I know of, but even those will wear with time, and often can't be redone easily if at all.

If you're getting a wider ring but get sized using a narrow gauge, you will probably go up a size.

Hope some of this helps.
posted by stillnocturnal at 3:02 PM on August 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


Oh, and white gold usually has a rhodium plating on the outside - it's naturally a slightly yellowish colour, so be prepared to get it re-plated every year or have a yellowish ring if you go this route.
posted by stillnocturnal at 3:04 PM on August 20, 2013


Uh... I believe you, stillnocturnal, having more direct experience than I do, but I have worn white gold for a good 8 years now, and I've never seen it get yellowish or gotten it re-plated. So YMMV.
posted by Madamina at 3:27 PM on August 20, 2013


Try googling "black platinum." There is some other related metal that I think is classed like platinum. I cannot remember the name. Ask about it at a jewelry store.
posted by Michele in California at 4:20 PM on August 20, 2013


Madamina, my experience with white gold jibes with what stillnocturnal said. Just a data point.
posted by kestrel251 at 4:45 PM on August 20, 2013


Have you looked at oxidized silver rings? I think they are neat...I guess the oxidation can wear off but you can re-oxidize it, I think. Here is an example.
posted by fieldtrip at 7:28 PM on August 20, 2013


Silver can indeed be re-oxidized. Easily, at home, even. You could even start with a plain silver ring and oxidize it yourself. Here are some very thorough instructions. (For what it's worth, I've never bothered with a neutralizing bath. Mix the liquid, dip, rinse the ring with water, polish with a cloth. And you can keep the Liver of Sulphur liquid in a well sealed container for re-use. It's not as complicated as might look.)
posted by delezzo at 11:46 PM on August 20, 2013


Cobalt-chrome is a deep black and is basically the oxidized form of a cobalt-chromium alloy so the stuff is incredibly durable. It's an incredible black with a deep luster when polished. It's a pain in the ass to size though so be warned.
posted by Talez at 9:51 PM on August 21, 2013


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