Will throwing money at it solve my problem?
August 18, 2013 4:57 PM Subscribe
I have $10k, chronic to severe depression & obesity. Can one cancel the other out? If so, how would you do it? Location Brisbane Australia. I rely on public transport, and have some flexibility with schedule.
I had thought of physical trainer to increase exercise, but have two issues - one is the impossibility (trust me on this one) to find a bra supportive enough to prevent bounce pain. And the second is increased self esteem issues not being able to meet trainer's requirements - being yelled at or pushed too hard will crush me, and I doubt that someone who is fit would understand pain, frustration, inability to succeed at simplest exercises. The other obvious thing is to go to exercise classes, but I already have difficulty in doing things I used to like - forcing my self to go to classes or gym seems unlikely.
I don't want lap banding as I am 83 kilos, 162 cm, and not an appropriate candidate. I walk briskly to get places about every other day. I don't have someone reliably close to exercise with. I do not want a dog as I have a cat. Volunteering is not an option as I struggle to get work done, and would hate to let a charity down.
I have GP, crazy psychiatrist, psychologist, anti depression & ADHD medication. I do not have a partner.
I had thought of physical trainer to increase exercise, but have two issues - one is the impossibility (trust me on this one) to find a bra supportive enough to prevent bounce pain. And the second is increased self esteem issues not being able to meet trainer's requirements - being yelled at or pushed too hard will crush me, and I doubt that someone who is fit would understand pain, frustration, inability to succeed at simplest exercises. The other obvious thing is to go to exercise classes, but I already have difficulty in doing things I used to like - forcing my self to go to classes or gym seems unlikely.
I don't want lap banding as I am 83 kilos, 162 cm, and not an appropriate candidate. I walk briskly to get places about every other day. I don't have someone reliably close to exercise with. I do not want a dog as I have a cat. Volunteering is not an option as I struggle to get work done, and would hate to let a charity down.
I have GP, crazy psychiatrist, psychologist, anti depression & ADHD medication. I do not have a partner.
Could you use the money to have meals made for you? If you're walking a fair bit, perhaps your food intake is the culprit.
Get a pedometer, log how many steps you take a day. Start having contests with yourself.
posted by notsnot at 5:12 PM on August 18, 2013
Get a pedometer, log how many steps you take a day. Start having contests with yourself.
posted by notsnot at 5:12 PM on August 18, 2013
Your assumptions about a trainer are just that. And faulty. Sure, some trainers are dicks. But plenty got into the business to help people. You may have to go through a few to get one that works for you, but you probably had to do that with doctors, psychs, etc. if what's stopping you is thinking the "all trainers are" some way, don't let that stop you.
posted by atomicstone at 5:17 PM on August 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by atomicstone at 5:17 PM on August 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
I think that you may have a mis-impression of trainers. They are not drill sergeants, they have likely worked with people who have more significant health problems than you do. But whether they have or not is beside the point. Since you are hiring them you can (and should) interview them. Make it clear to them what you want (and don't want) and what your concerns are. If you don't like their answers (or their attitude), don't hire them. Before you sign a contract get them to take you through a work out. Your health and comfort is the most important thing, don't hire someone who doesn't fit your needs.
However, it sounds to me like you might do better with a physical therapist. I used one to help address some shoulder pain I had a while back. It was great. My therapist was part of a team. So, I worked in their office space (the atmosphere is like a private practice doctor's office, but with lot's of exercise gear and equipment). They were completely non-judgmental, did a full review of what I could do (my shoulder was so bad I could barely raise my hand over my head) and worked up a routine of exercises that I could do. After I started to show signs of improvement they slowly added more exercises and increased the difficulty incrementally. My shoulder is like 1000 times better now. It was great.
While I was there, I saw them work with people of all shapes, sizes, ages and levels of ability. Everyone had a tailored regimen attended by staff. No PT ever pushed me (or anyone else, as far as I could see) beyond what I felt I could do. (The opposite! If I showed signs of pain or fatigue they would step in and tell me to stop.) Best of all it was covered by my health insurance (I'm in the USA.). So, it cost me very little.
I would definitely recommend that you look into physical therapy (it's not just for injuries!).
posted by oddman at 5:23 PM on August 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
However, it sounds to me like you might do better with a physical therapist. I used one to help address some shoulder pain I had a while back. It was great. My therapist was part of a team. So, I worked in their office space (the atmosphere is like a private practice doctor's office, but with lot's of exercise gear and equipment). They were completely non-judgmental, did a full review of what I could do (my shoulder was so bad I could barely raise my hand over my head) and worked up a routine of exercises that I could do. After I started to show signs of improvement they slowly added more exercises and increased the difficulty incrementally. My shoulder is like 1000 times better now. It was great.
While I was there, I saw them work with people of all shapes, sizes, ages and levels of ability. Everyone had a tailored regimen attended by staff. No PT ever pushed me (or anyone else, as far as I could see) beyond what I felt I could do. (The opposite! If I showed signs of pain or fatigue they would step in and tell me to stop.) Best of all it was covered by my health insurance (I'm in the USA.). So, it cost me very little.
I would definitely recommend that you look into physical therapy (it's not just for injuries!).
posted by oddman at 5:23 PM on August 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
23 1/2 hours.
I suggest this video all the time.
Increase your physical activity in a way that is probably comfortable for you. 1/2 hour of moderate to fast walking most days will improve a lot. An hour three or four times a week would also be fine. The benefits of walking include not having to find a gym or assert your boundaries with a stranger right off the bat. And best of all, no bounce. Maybe invest the 10k in something that is interest bearing but accessible in 6 months.
Get yourself into a habit of being physically active and then take the joy and pride and confidence in your accomplishment to your search for a trainer. Put the interest you earned toward the trainer fee! Right now you're having some self defeating myths about exercise that are pretty scary. You can get some podcasts to listen to, or music that you really like (if the pandora app is available to you, it can be really fun). Or an audiobook. These things make the time fly. You can also have long phone conversations with a friend you don't get in touch with often enough. Mondays for Betty, Wednesdays for Sue, Fridays for Jack. You can get a voice recording app and just ramble your thoughts into your phone. You can meet friends for a walk and be social.
On preview, I really like the ideal for physical therapy too.
posted by bilabial at 5:25 PM on August 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
I suggest this video all the time.
Increase your physical activity in a way that is probably comfortable for you. 1/2 hour of moderate to fast walking most days will improve a lot. An hour three or four times a week would also be fine. The benefits of walking include not having to find a gym or assert your boundaries with a stranger right off the bat. And best of all, no bounce. Maybe invest the 10k in something that is interest bearing but accessible in 6 months.
Get yourself into a habit of being physically active and then take the joy and pride and confidence in your accomplishment to your search for a trainer. Put the interest you earned toward the trainer fee! Right now you're having some self defeating myths about exercise that are pretty scary. You can get some podcasts to listen to, or music that you really like (if the pandora app is available to you, it can be really fun). Or an audiobook. These things make the time fly. You can also have long phone conversations with a friend you don't get in touch with often enough. Mondays for Betty, Wednesdays for Sue, Fridays for Jack. You can get a voice recording app and just ramble your thoughts into your phone. You can meet friends for a walk and be social.
On preview, I really like the ideal for physical therapy too.
posted by bilabial at 5:25 PM on August 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
Not sure what you mean by "crazy psychiatrist" but maybe find a sane one? If you don't think you're benefiting from your mental health treatment get a second opinion.
I used to go for a lot of hours-long, rambling walks when I was depressed. You get exercise, time to think and you can't emotionally overeat if you don't have food with you.
posted by arrmatie at 5:26 PM on August 18, 2013
I used to go for a lot of hours-long, rambling walks when I was depressed. You get exercise, time to think and you can't emotionally overeat if you don't have food with you.
posted by arrmatie at 5:26 PM on August 18, 2013
> one is the impossibility (trust me on this one) to find a bra supportive enough to prevent bounce pain
So find an exercise that doesn't involve bouncing. In the past year I've taken classes in weight lifting and TRX, and neither involved bouncing. Swimming or water aerobics would work, too.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:27 PM on August 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
So find an exercise that doesn't involve bouncing. In the past year I've taken classes in weight lifting and TRX, and neither involved bouncing. Swimming or water aerobics would work, too.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:27 PM on August 18, 2013 [10 favorites]
You can find a better trainer than that! I work out with a personal trainer, and she encourages and supports, rather than yelling or pushing. It sounds like you know what you do and don't want from a trainer, so you should be able to find one who meets your criteria.
posted by gingerbeer at 5:27 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by gingerbeer at 5:27 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
> being yelled at or pushed too hard will crush me, and I doubt that someone who is fit would understand pain, frustration, inability to succeed at simplest exercises
Oh, and as to that: you just need to find the right trainer for you. I go to a Y and the clientele are amazingly diverse -- all sorts of ages, body shapes, various disabilities both mental and physical are there. I've seen the same diversity in classes that are taught by my city's parks and rec. I don't know Brisbane but surely there are community centers or the like. Find one that isn't a RAR DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY sort of gym (for example, it doesn't have biliboards showing a woman wearing nothing but skimpy shorts and a sports bra). They should have more human trainers there, who are enthusiastic about all sorts of people.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:30 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh, and as to that: you just need to find the right trainer for you. I go to a Y and the clientele are amazingly diverse -- all sorts of ages, body shapes, various disabilities both mental and physical are there. I've seen the same diversity in classes that are taught by my city's parks and rec. I don't know Brisbane but surely there are community centers or the like. Find one that isn't a RAR DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY sort of gym (for example, it doesn't have biliboards showing a woman wearing nothing but skimpy shorts and a sports bra). They should have more human trainers there, who are enthusiastic about all sorts of people.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:30 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Pilates is another option for no-bounce exercise and trainers that will be supportive. They are used to working with people who have injuries, they have seen everything and will work with you to help your body do the things that are right for the level that it is at. I've been doing it for a year, and it has really helped me combat my previously self-defeating and avoidant attitudes about exercise, and I feel much stronger and healthier.
posted by matildaben at 5:34 PM on August 18, 2013
posted by matildaben at 5:34 PM on August 18, 2013
You sound so sad. I firmly believe you can solve this in a way that you will be happy with - it won't even take the whole $10k. I've been in your exact position and while I would never say "it worked for me, therefore these identical solutions will work for you", maybe you can extrapolate from here?
Bra: Wear two of the most supportive bras you can, right on top of each other. And don't listen to any idiot who tells you you have to run or jump or do anything that results in bounce. It's simply not true. You can do everything slow and controlled and still have awesome results.
Trainers: Awesome idea. Start interviewing trainers and don't let their bullshit get you down. Go to a women's gym if you are more comfortable, and be completely open about your fears and concerns. Most of them will have worked with people who are far more out of shape than you. Fire anyone you don't like. You're the client, you know what you want. Don't be intimidated by someone who can't understand that. Once you have found a trainer you like, schedule 2 or 3 sessions a week. Start with half hour sessions (don't be tempted to buy a 10-pack till you know if you like the trainer). If you don't like him or her after a few sessions, switch.
Exercise: Meanwhile, on days when you're not training, walk briskly for 30 minutes - outside or on a treadmill. I invested in an expensive music player and set of audiobooks so that I would feel too guilty not to exercise. Don't buy a full year gym membership. Find somewhere you can pay by the month or by the visit till you are sure you like the place as a place to work out.
Food: On food, I don't want to evangelize, but there's a lot of literature about low-carb diets and how effective they are for weight loss, and I have to say that is what worked for me (particularly paleo type eating). It was hard for maybe the first week. There's also anecdotal evidence that removing wheat, starch and sugar is good for depression. Again, worked for me (in conjunction with moving to a place where it is sunny ALL THE TIME which made a huge difference).
If you want to, throw the rest of the $10K at a therapist who specializes in CBT. But I would hazard a guess that getting a trainer you like and resetting your diet a bit will improve the depression. I hope so, anyway - best of luck.
posted by yogalemon at 5:36 PM on August 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
Bra: Wear two of the most supportive bras you can, right on top of each other. And don't listen to any idiot who tells you you have to run or jump or do anything that results in bounce. It's simply not true. You can do everything slow and controlled and still have awesome results.
Trainers: Awesome idea. Start interviewing trainers and don't let their bullshit get you down. Go to a women's gym if you are more comfortable, and be completely open about your fears and concerns. Most of them will have worked with people who are far more out of shape than you. Fire anyone you don't like. You're the client, you know what you want. Don't be intimidated by someone who can't understand that. Once you have found a trainer you like, schedule 2 or 3 sessions a week. Start with half hour sessions (don't be tempted to buy a 10-pack till you know if you like the trainer). If you don't like him or her after a few sessions, switch.
Exercise: Meanwhile, on days when you're not training, walk briskly for 30 minutes - outside or on a treadmill. I invested in an expensive music player and set of audiobooks so that I would feel too guilty not to exercise. Don't buy a full year gym membership. Find somewhere you can pay by the month or by the visit till you are sure you like the place as a place to work out.
Food: On food, I don't want to evangelize, but there's a lot of literature about low-carb diets and how effective they are for weight loss, and I have to say that is what worked for me (particularly paleo type eating). It was hard for maybe the first week. There's also anecdotal evidence that removing wheat, starch and sugar is good for depression. Again, worked for me (in conjunction with moving to a place where it is sunny ALL THE TIME which made a huge difference).
If you want to, throw the rest of the $10K at a therapist who specializes in CBT. But I would hazard a guess that getting a trainer you like and resetting your diet a bit will improve the depression. I hope so, anyway - best of luck.
posted by yogalemon at 5:36 PM on August 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
My partner was a personal trainer for a time. He had been overweight himself and was sensitive to others' needs in that area, as far as both attitude and the types of exercise his clients could do. He worked very hard on tailored plans for each individual person taking into account their physical strengths and limitations, things that might cause that person pain, etc.
And since he happened to live with someone both overweight fairly well-endowed, we had the occasional highly amusing session of me trying out some new exercise to see how do-able it was, specifically if the breast size/bounce thing was going to be an issue, etc., before he'd try it out with a client. It was certainly something he was aware of and tried to work around with different exercises, modifications of movements, etc.
The thing about my partner is, sure I think he's the awesomest guy out there, but I know he's not the only personal trainer in the world who was sensitive to this stuff.
I think if you went looking for someone with experience in this area, and talked to them during your initial session about your concerns and needs, you would be able to find someone who could work well with you if this is the route you want to go down.
posted by Stacey at 5:37 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
And since he happened to live with someone both overweight fairly well-endowed, we had the occasional highly amusing session of me trying out some new exercise to see how do-able it was, specifically if the breast size/bounce thing was going to be an issue, etc., before he'd try it out with a client. It was certainly something he was aware of and tried to work around with different exercises, modifications of movements, etc.
The thing about my partner is, sure I think he's the awesomest guy out there, but I know he's not the only personal trainer in the world who was sensitive to this stuff.
I think if you went looking for someone with experience in this area, and talked to them during your initial session about your concerns and needs, you would be able to find someone who could work well with you if this is the route you want to go down.
posted by Stacey at 5:37 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
A properly sized enell bra will eliminate all bounce. Trust me- I'm a 42GG and NO BOUNCE. GG!! Also, as everyone else has said, trainers aren't all dicks and you can find someone who specifically works with obese people. Best of luck!!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 5:44 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by PorcineWithMe at 5:44 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Working out is great for your physical and mental wellbeing, but it is only a small part of the answer to losing weight. The first thing I would tackle would be what and how you eat. You need to learn how to feed yourself in a way that makes you healthy and energetic. Stop eating processed crap, buy quality food, make your own meals, pack your lunch, etc. Spend money on cooking lessons if you don't know your way around a kitchen. Buy cook books and use them. Get pots and pans if you don't have any. I find I lose weight much faster when I cook/eat low carb. Everyone is different, so do your research. If you look at this as a slow process and have patience you will be amazed at what you can accomplish! I wish you the best of luck.
posted by KMoney at 5:44 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by KMoney at 5:44 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I doubt that someone who is fit would understand pain, frustration, inability to succeed at simplest exercises.
Honestly, this doubt is misplaced. Many (not all) trainers have come from exactly this background, and found the inspiration to start exercising, and the motivation to keep it up. A lot of trainers enter the field because of the transformation they feel that fitness has made in their lives. They want to share this feeling.
Also, in regards to weight, exercise without diet is like gardening without plants - you gotta do both. Some trainers can help with that (protip, get a trainer at least older than 25, preferably mid-thirties and over: they will have more experience and have proven they have the professionalism to last), but so can a nutritionist, good luck!
posted by smoke at 5:49 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Honestly, this doubt is misplaced. Many (not all) trainers have come from exactly this background, and found the inspiration to start exercising, and the motivation to keep it up. A lot of trainers enter the field because of the transformation they feel that fitness has made in their lives. They want to share this feeling.
Also, in regards to weight, exercise without diet is like gardening without plants - you gotta do both. Some trainers can help with that (protip, get a trainer at least older than 25, preferably mid-thirties and over: they will have more experience and have proven they have the professionalism to last), but so can a nutritionist, good luck!
posted by smoke at 5:49 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I am quite seriously overweight -- more than you -- and I also suffer from depression, anxiety, and giant boobs. Nothing, but nothing, has been more effective in pulling weight off me and leveling my moods with out pain (boobular or otherwise) like walking for two hours a day. I check audiobooks out of the library straight to my phone, go to my YMCA, and walk around the track while I listen. When I combine that with low-carb whole-food type eating (I hesitate to say paleo because the whole caveman narrative is so eyerolly, but that's a good example of the kind of eating that works best for me), I have great energy levels and lose weight astoundingly quickly.
To help motivate me to move more & more often, I bought a Fitbit Flex, based on the answers to my question here. Since I bought it 12 days ago, I've walked 65 miles. For whatever reasons, knowing I'm "getting credit" for how much I'm walking has really gotten me up off the couch. Highly recommended.
As for getting a good trainer, I heartily endorse the YMCA. They have a diverse population and sensitive trainers who are ready and willing to meet you where you are. They have 8 locations in Brisbane.
posted by KathrynT at 5:52 PM on August 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
To help motivate me to move more & more often, I bought a Fitbit Flex, based on the answers to my question here. Since I bought it 12 days ago, I've walked 65 miles. For whatever reasons, knowing I'm "getting credit" for how much I'm walking has really gotten me up off the couch. Highly recommended.
As for getting a good trainer, I heartily endorse the YMCA. They have a diverse population and sensitive trainers who are ready and willing to meet you where you are. They have 8 locations in Brisbane.
posted by KathrynT at 5:52 PM on August 18, 2013 [5 favorites]
I agree with all the excellent advice so far. Just wanted to add - as far as changing your diet goes, I have heard good things about the Lite'n'Easy meal replacement program, where they deliver freshly-prepared meals to your door every week. When you are depressed, making decisions can be very difficult. Lite'n'Easy would takes food decisions out of the equation, at least for the first few weeks while you're kick-starting an exercise program.
(Note: am not a shill for Lite'n'Easy - have never tried it, in fact. But a friend of mine in a very similar position to you said it really helped her.)
posted by Salamander at 5:54 PM on August 18, 2013
(Note: am not a shill for Lite'n'Easy - have never tried it, in fact. But a friend of mine in a very similar position to you said it really helped her.)
posted by Salamander at 5:54 PM on August 18, 2013
I have ridiculously oversized boobs for my frame and I'm a runner AND I ride horses AND I play volleyball. If I can find a bra, you can find a bra!! I wear the Moving Comfort Jubralee. The largest cup size is 4 sizes smaller than I wear so I just squeeze into it and go. It looks ridiculous, I can't wear a tight shirt even, but it works! Besides which most gym stuff is pretty low impact.
As far as trainers, I can see how that would be intimidating but most trainers are great and working with unfit people is what they do. Very few fit people are hiring trainers unless they are serious athletes or actresses. Mostly it's people who want to lose weight. My gym has a lot of trainers and most of them are ordinary people, not really super fit, in fact quite a few of the trainers are former clients themselves so they definitely understand what it's like to start from scratch. Naturally, it's very popular, maybe you can find a gym like that near you by searching on the internet or on weight loss forums?
posted by fshgrl at 5:56 PM on August 18, 2013
As far as trainers, I can see how that would be intimidating but most trainers are great and working with unfit people is what they do. Very few fit people are hiring trainers unless they are serious athletes or actresses. Mostly it's people who want to lose weight. My gym has a lot of trainers and most of them are ordinary people, not really super fit, in fact quite a few of the trainers are former clients themselves so they definitely understand what it's like to start from scratch. Naturally, it's very popular, maybe you can find a gym like that near you by searching on the internet or on weight loss forums?
posted by fshgrl at 5:56 PM on August 18, 2013
Oh, also...exercise helps hugely with managing depression. I heartily endorse the idea of loading up an iPod, strapping on a pedometer and walking briskly for half an hour a day, building up to a full hour. Think about it as doing something nice for yourself to make yourself feel happier (which is what it is), and not as 'exercise for weight loss', and then the increased fitness and weight loss will be a fantastic bonus.
posted by Salamander at 5:57 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Salamander at 5:57 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Here is an off the wall suggestion, since it sounds like you're potentially looking for some creative / new ideas. Could you take a little time off of work? What about some sort of retreat, or an inpatient or intensive outpatient treatment program for depression? Or (I realize this might not sound good, given your depression, but--) what about a "healthy living" or weight loss camp where they fix your meals and provide a variety of active things to do?
Googling, I found "New Farm Clinic" in Brisbane, which offers inpatient and outpatient programs for depression. I also found a few adult weight loss camps, this being one of the least ("yay! rahrah!") obnoxious that I found in a few minutes of googling. (It's in the US. The Australian one I found had an annoying website. But there must be one in Australia.) Given that exercise is one of the best approaches to self care for depression (in my limited knowledge), I wouldn't be entirely surprised to find an inpatient depression treatment program that included access to a beautiful natural setting, a pool, and fitness training resources.
posted by salvia at 6:09 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Googling, I found "New Farm Clinic" in Brisbane, which offers inpatient and outpatient programs for depression. I also found a few adult weight loss camps, this being one of the least ("yay! rahrah!") obnoxious that I found in a few minutes of googling. (It's in the US. The Australian one I found had an annoying website. But there must be one in Australia.) Given that exercise is one of the best approaches to self care for depression (in my limited knowledge), I wouldn't be entirely surprised to find an inpatient depression treatment program that included access to a beautiful natural setting, a pool, and fitness training resources.
posted by salvia at 6:09 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It's good that you have the motivation to start addressing these issues. That is huge--it is so difficult to get motivated when you are suffering from depression.
I have also heard the advice to wear two sports bras--one that keeps your boobs separated under one of the more traditional styled ones. If you don't have a shop with wide selection near you, you could try Herroom. They have videos of the models running in the sports bras to get an idea of bounce control. It's based in the U.S. but ships internationally. Or you could use the site for research and find a source for the bras closer to you.
Perhaps some back and core strengthening exercises added in will help with the boob pain? I am not well-endowed, but my boobs do move around less and hurt less when running if I focus on good posture.
One thing that has helped me in my own weight loss effort is to buy a couple of new exercise outfits. Making the small investment motivates me to use them more and makes me feel better about myself while doing so.
Good luck!
posted by fozzie_bear at 6:38 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I have also heard the advice to wear two sports bras--one that keeps your boobs separated under one of the more traditional styled ones. If you don't have a shop with wide selection near you, you could try Herroom. They have videos of the models running in the sports bras to get an idea of bounce control. It's based in the U.S. but ships internationally. Or you could use the site for research and find a source for the bras closer to you.
Perhaps some back and core strengthening exercises added in will help with the boob pain? I am not well-endowed, but my boobs do move around less and hurt less when running if I focus on good posture.
One thing that has helped me in my own weight loss effort is to buy a couple of new exercise outfits. Making the small investment motivates me to use them more and makes me feel better about myself while doing so.
Good luck!
posted by fozzie_bear at 6:38 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: More info:
I have previously done Lite & Easy (and might take it up again). I don't like exercise and exercise classes, never have BUT I know I need it and I want to do it in a way that won't have me giving up in the first 3 minutes/sessions. Have major issues around this - including fear of being judged, poor motor skills, poor eyesight. I can't ride a bike (though I have one) because my eyesight makes checking behind me difficult. I sign up for classes, but after one or two tries don't turn up again, it's easier to remain in bed in a fetal position. I know about the 1/2 an hour a day saves your life - I do understand, I really really do. I know I need more exercise than I'm getting.
I have tried and tried and tried to successfully cut down on breast bounce with multiple bras etc, but due to massive skin stretching and large breasts, it's not going to happen (I said to trust me on this one - now you all know I have saggy tits! Thanks, right?).
Understand that I don't mind spending the money. But I need more help than I can give myself. Therefore $$$. Let's spend money, okay? I want a kickstart.
The advice and information about personal trainers is gold - my total experience of them is limited to watching biggest loser.
I can and will take time off for a camp if it's worthwhile.
posted by b33j at 6:41 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I have previously done Lite & Easy (and might take it up again). I don't like exercise and exercise classes, never have BUT I know I need it and I want to do it in a way that won't have me giving up in the first 3 minutes/sessions. Have major issues around this - including fear of being judged, poor motor skills, poor eyesight. I can't ride a bike (though I have one) because my eyesight makes checking behind me difficult. I sign up for classes, but after one or two tries don't turn up again, it's easier to remain in bed in a fetal position. I know about the 1/2 an hour a day saves your life - I do understand, I really really do. I know I need more exercise than I'm getting.
I have tried and tried and tried to successfully cut down on breast bounce with multiple bras etc, but due to massive skin stretching and large breasts, it's not going to happen (I said to trust me on this one - now you all know I have saggy tits! Thanks, right?).
Understand that I don't mind spending the money. But I need more help than I can give myself. Therefore $$$. Let's spend money, okay? I want a kickstart.
The advice and information about personal trainers is gold - my total experience of them is limited to watching biggest loser.
I can and will take time off for a camp if it's worthwhile.
posted by b33j at 6:41 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
You might want to think about getting a stationary exercise bike. I've always sucked at exercising; it was too easy to skip the gym or slack off while exercising at home. I even had a trainer for awhile, but it was expensive and only got me to exercise once a week. I got an exercise bike about two months ago, and ever since I've managed to exercise at least 30 min a day 6 or 7 days a week. Literally the only thing I do differently now is sit on the bike instead of the couch when I watch TV. I started with a crappy US$120 one, but I'm in the market for a better one. You could get a very fancy bike for much less than 10k.
Another plus, from your perspective, is that riding one is basically sitting as far as your upper body is concerned.
posted by cosmic.osmo at 6:59 PM on August 18, 2013
Another plus, from your perspective, is that riding one is basically sitting as far as your upper body is concerned.
posted by cosmic.osmo at 6:59 PM on August 18, 2013
((Bjj3))
Sweetie, you are in a serious funk. All that talk of 'no bras will fit!', trainers will hate on you, etc is depression talking, it is NOT THE TRUTH.
Frankly, I think the best thing you could do for yourself with $10k would be to learn how to drive and buy a small cheap car. It will boost your self esteem SO MUCH to be able to drive - to go where you want, when you want.
Opportunities you don't even know exist will open up for you. You will never be stuck home bored on a lovely sunny day - drive to the beach, take a walk, treat yourself to coffee. Drive to the mountains, take a walk, relish the smells and sights of the rainforest. Drive to the farmers markets to buy beautiful produce which you will love to eat. Honestly, learning to drive and then allowing yourself to drive when and where you want will be such a confidence booster, such a show of proof that YOU CAN DO IT, that half your depression will melt away.
I am sure you have a hundred reasons why you can't learn to drive, but again, that is depression talking.
I have the same hate of exercise as you do. I do it for a bit, then slack off. As of this day, I have only gone for a walk twice in the last month - and I live on a property that people pay to visit to go walking (shame on me).
Speaking of shame, Brene Brown is the warmest, most wonderful speaker and writer on the subject. Watch her Ted talk, buy her book (Daring Greatly & The Gift of Imperfection are two good ones). You need to ditch the shame (and the commercial TV watching - biggest loser is a bad bad show).
And finally, if you want an internet friend in the same time zone who has a 1.5 bmi above yours to be your fitness buddy so we can check in with each other and encourage and motivate without one scrap of shame, I would be keen. Drop me a memail if you are interested.
And don't forget - you have been through a shit-load of change in the last couple of years, enough to upset anyone. Be compassionate with yourself and realise how strong and resilient you actually are.
posted by Kerasia at 7:06 PM on August 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
Sweetie, you are in a serious funk. All that talk of 'no bras will fit!', trainers will hate on you, etc is depression talking, it is NOT THE TRUTH.
Frankly, I think the best thing you could do for yourself with $10k would be to learn how to drive and buy a small cheap car. It will boost your self esteem SO MUCH to be able to drive - to go where you want, when you want.
Opportunities you don't even know exist will open up for you. You will never be stuck home bored on a lovely sunny day - drive to the beach, take a walk, treat yourself to coffee. Drive to the mountains, take a walk, relish the smells and sights of the rainforest. Drive to the farmers markets to buy beautiful produce which you will love to eat. Honestly, learning to drive and then allowing yourself to drive when and where you want will be such a confidence booster, such a show of proof that YOU CAN DO IT, that half your depression will melt away.
I am sure you have a hundred reasons why you can't learn to drive, but again, that is depression talking.
I have the same hate of exercise as you do. I do it for a bit, then slack off. As of this day, I have only gone for a walk twice in the last month - and I live on a property that people pay to visit to go walking (shame on me).
Speaking of shame, Brene Brown is the warmest, most wonderful speaker and writer on the subject. Watch her Ted talk, buy her book (Daring Greatly & The Gift of Imperfection are two good ones). You need to ditch the shame (and the commercial TV watching - biggest loser is a bad bad show).
And finally, if you want an internet friend in the same time zone who has a 1.5 bmi above yours to be your fitness buddy so we can check in with each other and encourage and motivate without one scrap of shame, I would be keen. Drop me a memail if you are interested.
And don't forget - you have been through a shit-load of change in the last couple of years, enough to upset anyone. Be compassionate with yourself and realise how strong and resilient you actually are.
posted by Kerasia at 7:06 PM on August 18, 2013 [8 favorites]
I don't like exercise and exercise classes, never have BUT I know I need it and I want to do it in a way that won't have me giving up in the first 3 minutes/sessions.
Maybe try a martial art. Can be really good for fitness and self esteem. Hard work but you do it as a group. No need to plunk down a whole tonne of dough. Your weight will be more effectively controlled by diet than exercise, in any case.
Save the money and spend a little of it on a holiday to Bali or Thailand or similar when you reach some major milestone. (And set a bunch of real, and realistic milestones.)
posted by The Monkey at 7:08 PM on August 18, 2013
Maybe try a martial art. Can be really good for fitness and self esteem. Hard work but you do it as a group. No need to plunk down a whole tonne of dough. Your weight will be more effectively controlled by diet than exercise, in any case.
Save the money and spend a little of it on a holiday to Bali or Thailand or similar when you reach some major milestone. (And set a bunch of real, and realistic milestones.)
posted by The Monkey at 7:08 PM on August 18, 2013
Sweetie, you are in a serious funk. All that talk of 'no bras will fit!', trainers will hate on you, etc is depression talking, it is NOT THE TRUTH.
Amen. For $10k, you could probably have a properly fitting sports bra custom-made if it came to that (I'll 2nd that you should check out the Enell line before you declare yourself unfittable).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:14 PM on August 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
Amen. For $10k, you could probably have a properly fitting sports bra custom-made if it came to that (I'll 2nd that you should check out the Enell line before you declare yourself unfittable).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:14 PM on August 18, 2013 [4 favorites]
I started trying to find a nearby retreat. Down in NSW is Cedarvale. That was kind of what I had in mind initially.
But I'm starting to think that the depression is the priority to treat, and that doing so would help you achieve your fitness goals more easily. Here is a list of medical resources to treat depression in Queensland: http://www.depressionet.com.au/resources/hospitals/qld.html. You could do worse than to walk into any of those tomorrow, explain that despite therapy AND meds you are still moderately to severely depressed and need more support. They should be able to help you find a good intensive treatment program for depression.
And if I remember your previous questions, part of what sounds so challenging is finding good social opportunities. Do you think that's contributing? Would it be worth spending part of your 10k on housing more convenient to social opportunities -- or on preview, a car? (I know this is a bit outside the scope of your question, and I may be way off base, apologies.)
posted by salvia at 7:25 PM on August 18, 2013
But I'm starting to think that the depression is the priority to treat, and that doing so would help you achieve your fitness goals more easily. Here is a list of medical resources to treat depression in Queensland: http://www.depressionet.com.au/resources/hospitals/qld.html. You could do worse than to walk into any of those tomorrow, explain that despite therapy AND meds you are still moderately to severely depressed and need more support. They should be able to help you find a good intensive treatment program for depression.
And if I remember your previous questions, part of what sounds so challenging is finding good social opportunities. Do you think that's contributing? Would it be worth spending part of your 10k on housing more convenient to social opportunities -- or on preview, a car? (I know this is a bit outside the scope of your question, and I may be way off base, apologies.)
posted by salvia at 7:25 PM on August 18, 2013
I agree with what's been said above, I think your first priority should be finding better ways to deal with your depression. You'll find achieving anything you want to achieve, this included, is way easier when you're on the other side of that.
That said, it's still a great time to be trying to exercise through generally low-impact sorts of ways. Walking is good, biking, that sort of thing. I think strength training is a great idea, but I think that a bit of cardio on a daily basis does way more to improve my mental health. Just a bit. Has your therapist or psychiatrist ever brought up the concept of small wins? Baby steps. Getting into the habit of actually achieving what you set out to do by setting goals you can actually reach even when you're feeling bleh. It's a thing. Like: Around the block. You can do that.
Save the bulk of the money for when you're further along in your treatment and you can look at things with a slightly clearer head and see what seems fun/productive. A trainer might still be a great idea, but you might think differently about it when you aren't so worried that you need another person to motivate you. And that time will come.
posted by Sequence at 7:49 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
That said, it's still a great time to be trying to exercise through generally low-impact sorts of ways. Walking is good, biking, that sort of thing. I think strength training is a great idea, but I think that a bit of cardio on a daily basis does way more to improve my mental health. Just a bit. Has your therapist or psychiatrist ever brought up the concept of small wins? Baby steps. Getting into the habit of actually achieving what you set out to do by setting goals you can actually reach even when you're feeling bleh. It's a thing. Like: Around the block. You can do that.
Save the bulk of the money for when you're further along in your treatment and you can look at things with a slightly clearer head and see what seems fun/productive. A trainer might still be a great idea, but you might think differently about it when you aren't so worried that you need another person to motivate you. And that time will come.
posted by Sequence at 7:49 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Just a note about fitness trainers etc. I read a great article the other day written by a yoga teacher which was a treat to read, mostly for this paragraph: "Can’t do yoga because you’re ‘not flexible’? We admire you more than you realise just for turning up. "
Things your yoga teacher won't tell you.
So maybe yoga could be your bliss. The teacher will respect you more than the flexible ones, because you have shown more courage and bravery.
And sorry for misspelling your username above.
posted by Kerasia at 8:06 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Things your yoga teacher won't tell you.
So maybe yoga could be your bliss. The teacher will respect you more than the flexible ones, because you have shown more courage and bravery.
And sorry for misspelling your username above.
posted by Kerasia at 8:06 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
ThePinkSuperhero: "Amen. For $10k, you could probably have a properly fitting sports bra custom-made if it came to that (I'll 2nd that you should check out the Enell line before you declare yourself unfittable)."
I'm probably in a similar boat to b33j and she really isn't over-exaggerating here - Enell doesn't even come close to a bra in my size. That said, Panache do a sports bra up to a H cup, but only an 18 band (I buy them from here in Brisbane). Yes, it is depression exacerbating that, but the fact is big boobs and lack of decent containers for them make exercising a painful and uncomfortable experience (and not just physically) and the standard sports bras (even Enell) aren't actually that big.
I sent you a message, but I had an excellent yoga teacher on the southside here, that was a great experience (physically and emotionally) - sadly I am too poor but if you want the details, I can send them through. Some woo (it's the chinese water month so we're strengthening our gall bladders through this process...) but easy enough to tune out. It was a little bit confronting with the partner work but I ended up finding that helpful.
posted by geek anachronism at 8:11 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm probably in a similar boat to b33j and she really isn't over-exaggerating here - Enell doesn't even come close to a bra in my size. That said, Panache do a sports bra up to a H cup, but only an 18 band (I buy them from here in Brisbane). Yes, it is depression exacerbating that, but the fact is big boobs and lack of decent containers for them make exercising a painful and uncomfortable experience (and not just physically) and the standard sports bras (even Enell) aren't actually that big.
I sent you a message, but I had an excellent yoga teacher on the southside here, that was a great experience (physically and emotionally) - sadly I am too poor but if you want the details, I can send them through. Some woo (it's the chinese water month so we're strengthening our gall bladders through this process...) but easy enough to tune out. It was a little bit confronting with the partner work but I ended up finding that helpful.
posted by geek anachronism at 8:11 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I like the idea of going to a camp to get you started. You would be in new surroundings, have only one task at hand, and the people there would be organizing it all, so you don't have to think about details, and you will probably get a sense of community there, as everyone will be having similar issues. It sounds like it might be a good jump start to get you in a better place.
posted by Vaike at 8:24 PM on August 18, 2013
posted by Vaike at 8:24 PM on August 18, 2013
Hi there! I am way fatter than you and have also not been able to find a sufficiently supportive sports bra in my size. But I have recently found an exercise groove I'm pretty sure I can maintain.
Here it is: solo aqua aerobics.
Earlier this year, I bought myself a couple of retro-style swimdresses, a waterproof ipod, and a pool membership. I have attended group water aerobics classes in the past, but recently realised that I much prefer to exercise by myself so I can set my own level of intensity (I actually prefer a more intense workout than most classes offer) and at my own schedule. I'm not very coordinated, so I find following an instructor slows me down quite a bit; I can maintain a much higher intensity by just making up my own movements as I go along and changing them when I get bored. (This would be a bit tricky if you've not done aqua aerobics before; in that case, I'd recommend going to a few classes at first, just to get a little repertoire of movements to remix at your leisure.) I also have difficulty getting myself to go to a regular exercise class; going solo removes all the social guilt that, for me, turns one missed session into a never-ending möbius strip of procrastination.
I do solo aqua aerobics for 45-60 minutes per session, about three times a week. I have a ways to go, but it's already hugely improved my mood, fitness, and joint pain.
The essential ingredients that make this work for me are:
- The swimdress. The extra coverage is great. I find that, though my boobs do move around a lot in the water, it's not really a problem. You could totally wear a bra underneath the swimsuit if you wanted a bit more support, though. I sometimes use an old bra from which I've removed the underwire for this purpose.
- Mental armour. When I'm at the pool, I absolutely do not give any fucks what anyone thinks of my appearance. I am a fat, middle-aged woman taking up space and doing my own thing and anyone who has an opinion about that can jump in a lake. I get enormous health benefits from exercising in the pool, and no one is going to take that away from me. When I'm in the pool, I create a mental force field around me that cannot even be penetrated by close proximity with shouting, splashing teenagers. This fortitude did not come easily, but with time and practice, it did come.
- The waterproof ipod. This was a total indulgence (I asked my husband for one as my birthday present this year) but it's been worth every penny. I can workout to my favourite music. I can drown out the shrieks of children. I can listen to audiobooks and podcasts while I swim. I can float around and cool down to the soundtrack of The Wicker Man. It's motivational, pleasurable, and, again, helps envelop me in a private world.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 8:25 PM on August 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
Here it is: solo aqua aerobics.
Earlier this year, I bought myself a couple of retro-style swimdresses, a waterproof ipod, and a pool membership. I have attended group water aerobics classes in the past, but recently realised that I much prefer to exercise by myself so I can set my own level of intensity (I actually prefer a more intense workout than most classes offer) and at my own schedule. I'm not very coordinated, so I find following an instructor slows me down quite a bit; I can maintain a much higher intensity by just making up my own movements as I go along and changing them when I get bored. (This would be a bit tricky if you've not done aqua aerobics before; in that case, I'd recommend going to a few classes at first, just to get a little repertoire of movements to remix at your leisure.) I also have difficulty getting myself to go to a regular exercise class; going solo removes all the social guilt that, for me, turns one missed session into a never-ending möbius strip of procrastination.
I do solo aqua aerobics for 45-60 minutes per session, about three times a week. I have a ways to go, but it's already hugely improved my mood, fitness, and joint pain.
The essential ingredients that make this work for me are:
- The swimdress. The extra coverage is great. I find that, though my boobs do move around a lot in the water, it's not really a problem. You could totally wear a bra underneath the swimsuit if you wanted a bit more support, though. I sometimes use an old bra from which I've removed the underwire for this purpose.
- Mental armour. When I'm at the pool, I absolutely do not give any fucks what anyone thinks of my appearance. I am a fat, middle-aged woman taking up space and doing my own thing and anyone who has an opinion about that can jump in a lake. I get enormous health benefits from exercising in the pool, and no one is going to take that away from me. When I'm in the pool, I create a mental force field around me that cannot even be penetrated by close proximity with shouting, splashing teenagers. This fortitude did not come easily, but with time and practice, it did come.
- The waterproof ipod. This was a total indulgence (I asked my husband for one as my birthday present this year) but it's been worth every penny. I can workout to my favourite music. I can drown out the shrieks of children. I can listen to audiobooks and podcasts while I swim. I can float around and cool down to the soundtrack of The Wicker Man. It's motivational, pleasurable, and, again, helps envelop me in a private world.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 8:25 PM on August 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
For a kickstart - I like the idea of a health retreat. Even if not specifically for exercise - just go to a place where they will cook you healthy meals and otherwise pamper you. It may be cheaper to do this in Bali or Thailand than Australia and you get a bonus overseas holiday.
Then, I'd pay for calorie controlled meals like Lite n Easy, or even a more gourmet alternative (sorry I don't know what these are). The important thing though is to not keep any other food around as this kinda defeats the purpose.
For exercise, well, you already do a lot of walking. Can you just up that a little? Exercise does not have to be painful exertion while being pushed to your limits. You say you don't have a reliable exercise partner. But do you have a friend you could go for a long walk with once in a while? You do not need to frame it as exercise, but rather as a good way to catch up - it's free and you can explore new places while talking! If your friends aren't interested, then the throw money solution is to pay a trainer to go on a long walk with you.
I haven't tried it, but it sounds like No lights no lycra would help you get comfortable in your own skin in a non-embarrasing way. There's one in Brisbane. You don't have to do anything strenuous or jiggly - just move.
And yes, definitely get more/better treatment for your depression. I wish you well.
posted by pianissimo at 8:27 PM on August 18, 2013
Then, I'd pay for calorie controlled meals like Lite n Easy, or even a more gourmet alternative (sorry I don't know what these are). The important thing though is to not keep any other food around as this kinda defeats the purpose.
For exercise, well, you already do a lot of walking. Can you just up that a little? Exercise does not have to be painful exertion while being pushed to your limits. You say you don't have a reliable exercise partner. But do you have a friend you could go for a long walk with once in a while? You do not need to frame it as exercise, but rather as a good way to catch up - it's free and you can explore new places while talking! If your friends aren't interested, then the throw money solution is to pay a trainer to go on a long walk with you.
I haven't tried it, but it sounds like No lights no lycra would help you get comfortable in your own skin in a non-embarrasing way. There's one in Brisbane. You don't have to do anything strenuous or jiggly - just move.
And yes, definitely get more/better treatment for your depression. I wish you well.
posted by pianissimo at 8:27 PM on August 18, 2013
What works for one person may not work for another, but I lost 60 pounds (27kg) in about 20 months and when people ask me how I did I say I "threw money at the problem." When I started the project I had been overweight to some extent 35 out of my 57 years. I had tried all kinds of things (gym, many different diets, stationary bike that was great until it broke, etc.) But I figured I was not going to go into my 60s with all that extra weight because I would probably regret it a lot.
So I spent $200 getting a smart phone (granted, the monthly charge for a smart phone is higher by about $10 also), installed the free MyFitnessPal app (which is very highly regarded). I told the app I wanted to lose about a half a pound (quarter kilo) a week and followed the recommended calorie guideline (each morning it gives you calories you can have, psychologically you don't want to go negative, think of that minus sign as running a red light). I then shopped for and bought an $1100 home elliptical (no bouncing for me but I'm a guy). Until that arrived I walked the power line right of way in my neighborhood, just had to watch out for the dog poop. Plus I probably spent a good bit extra on low calorie food (you ever notice how junk food is cheaper) but I'm not talking health food, just stuff like rice cakes, instant oatmeal, Splenda, frozen chicken egg rolls, etc. The MyFitnessPal app has a bar code scanner, plus it remembers what you ate so you get to be pretty good at it. I tried to eat the same number of calories by the same time of day each day, even if my food varied. And no, I didn't eat a big breakfast, I did what worked for me, and ended up doing 3 pounds a month instead of my target 2 pounds. But clearly I had to stay disciplined or it would not have worked. Note that I rode the elliptical about 4 or 5 times a week for 35 minutes which gave me several hundred calories on MyFitnessPal additional that I could eat on those days.
So if you add up all the extra money I spent it was at least $1500 not counting more expensive food, but it was nowhere near your $10,000 figure. But I realize you have problems other than your weight, and I do NOT want to give you the impression that I gave you some magic solution. I am only answering the question of whether money can help with weight loss, and in my case the answer was yes. FWIW.
posted by forthright at 8:37 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
So I spent $200 getting a smart phone (granted, the monthly charge for a smart phone is higher by about $10 also), installed the free MyFitnessPal app (which is very highly regarded). I told the app I wanted to lose about a half a pound (quarter kilo) a week and followed the recommended calorie guideline (each morning it gives you calories you can have, psychologically you don't want to go negative, think of that minus sign as running a red light). I then shopped for and bought an $1100 home elliptical (no bouncing for me but I'm a guy). Until that arrived I walked the power line right of way in my neighborhood, just had to watch out for the dog poop. Plus I probably spent a good bit extra on low calorie food (you ever notice how junk food is cheaper) but I'm not talking health food, just stuff like rice cakes, instant oatmeal, Splenda, frozen chicken egg rolls, etc. The MyFitnessPal app has a bar code scanner, plus it remembers what you ate so you get to be pretty good at it. I tried to eat the same number of calories by the same time of day each day, even if my food varied. And no, I didn't eat a big breakfast, I did what worked for me, and ended up doing 3 pounds a month instead of my target 2 pounds. But clearly I had to stay disciplined or it would not have worked. Note that I rode the elliptical about 4 or 5 times a week for 35 minutes which gave me several hundred calories on MyFitnessPal additional that I could eat on those days.
So if you add up all the extra money I spent it was at least $1500 not counting more expensive food, but it was nowhere near your $10,000 figure. But I realize you have problems other than your weight, and I do NOT want to give you the impression that I gave you some magic solution. I am only answering the question of whether money can help with weight loss, and in my case the answer was yes. FWIW.
posted by forthright at 8:37 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Mental armour. When I'm at the pool, I absolutely do not give any fucks what anyone thinks of my appearance. I am a fat, middle-aged woman taking up space and doing my own thing and anyone who has an opinion about that can jump in a lake. I get enormous health benefits from exercising in the pool, and no one is going to take that away from me. When I'm in the pool, I create a mental force field around me that cannot even be penetrated by close proximity with shouting, splashing teenagers.
Oh yes. And here's where the poor eyesight can help you. I also am less than stunning in a swimsuit. But when I'm in a pool without my glasses, I can't see much, and therefore, like the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal I assume that no-one else can see me either.
YMMV but when everyone around me just looks like a blob, I don't find it hard to ignore them and any judging they may or may not be doing of me.
posted by pianissimo at 8:44 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh yes. And here's where the poor eyesight can help you. I also am less than stunning in a swimsuit. But when I'm in a pool without my glasses, I can't see much, and therefore, like the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal I assume that no-one else can see me either.
YMMV but when everyone around me just looks like a blob, I don't find it hard to ignore them and any judging they may or may not be doing of me.
posted by pianissimo at 8:44 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I don't want to hound you about this, but have you tried the Enell High Impact? Because believe me I understand big saggy tits. You basically hoist your boobs up and tuck them into this bra. It's like wearing an industrial strength Ace bandage wrapped around your torso. At a 34G, this thing lets me sprint, jump rope, do burpees, run long distances, etc.
I also agree that you don't need to do anything high impact if you don't want. Ask around to trainers and find one who will create a weights-based routine for you. Or more of a boot-camp workout with tire flipping and medicine ball stuff for cardio.
posted by peep at 8:47 PM on August 18, 2013
I also agree that you don't need to do anything high impact if you don't want. Ask around to trainers and find one who will create a weights-based routine for you. Or more of a boot-camp workout with tire flipping and medicine ball stuff for cardio.
posted by peep at 8:47 PM on August 18, 2013
I have a trainer that comes to my house. She is so sweet and willing to work around anything that feels uncomfortable or that I just don't feel like doing. It costs a bit more but the fact that she is coming to my door on a regular schedule has helped me develop a habit that I previously did not have. We do many non-bouncy things that build muscle, which in turn does help with weight loss.
I found her through my physical therapist. So you could probably try to do the same.
Also, you could try low impact exercise like aqua-jogging (you wear a floaty belt)! I did this, it helped me!
I have made it a rule that I MUST do at least 15 minutes of joyful movement a day. At the very least, I put on a couple of songs I love to dance to and make myself move about like a fool in the privacy of my own living room. I do this to try and build a habit of thinking of a daily exercise routine.
It isn't easy but it something we can learn to do, for our health and our happiness. Setbacks and even failures happen but the most important thing is not to give up. :) You can do it!
posted by dottiechang at 8:54 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
I found her through my physical therapist. So you could probably try to do the same.
Also, you could try low impact exercise like aqua-jogging (you wear a floaty belt)! I did this, it helped me!
I have made it a rule that I MUST do at least 15 minutes of joyful movement a day. At the very least, I put on a couple of songs I love to dance to and make myself move about like a fool in the privacy of my own living room. I do this to try and build a habit of thinking of a daily exercise routine.
It isn't easy but it something we can learn to do, for our health and our happiness. Setbacks and even failures happen but the most important thing is not to give up. :) You can do it!
posted by dottiechang at 8:54 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
Just so you can really wipe out the bra excuse (Isn't depression just fucking wonderful at creating roadblocks for us?!), Enell makes custom fit bras! Spend a bit on a couple good high impact compression bras. I know I said it before, but seriously, no bounce!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 9:40 PM on August 18, 2013
posted by PorcineWithMe at 9:40 PM on August 18, 2013
I'm in Brisbane too and I guess it's easy for me to say this, seeing as we are different people, but since you mentioned ten grand I am going to suggest the following outrageous things:
a) Throw out everything in your kitchen cupboards and fridge
b) Move house (assuming you're renting) to Paddington (lots of hills)
c) Treat yourself to a nice new modestly-sized fridge
d) Stock the nice new fridge, and the kitchen cupboards at the new house, with only the healthiest foods (no refined sugars, minimal carbs), and only what you can carry yourself (no cheating with taxis!) from the Woolies at Paddington Central, or the health food/organic supermarket up on Thingo Terrace
e) Walk everywhere in Paddington, all the time. Force yourself to do an hour of walking every day, half an hour (fasted) in the morning, and half an hour before dinner in the evening. It would be great if you worked in town, because that's a good walk home, but not stupidly far.
Walking is your friend, and walking hills is just great.
posted by turbid dahlia at 10:05 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
a) Throw out everything in your kitchen cupboards and fridge
b) Move house (assuming you're renting) to Paddington (lots of hills)
c) Treat yourself to a nice new modestly-sized fridge
d) Stock the nice new fridge, and the kitchen cupboards at the new house, with only the healthiest foods (no refined sugars, minimal carbs), and only what you can carry yourself (no cheating with taxis!) from the Woolies at Paddington Central, or the health food/organic supermarket up on Thingo Terrace
e) Walk everywhere in Paddington, all the time. Force yourself to do an hour of walking every day, half an hour (fasted) in the morning, and half an hour before dinner in the evening. It would be great if you worked in town, because that's a good walk home, but not stupidly far.
Walking is your friend, and walking hills is just great.
posted by turbid dahlia at 10:05 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
If the only problem you have with the biking is looking behind you, maybe get a mirror or two? They can attach to your helmet or handlebars.
A treadmill? I realise you can't run, but if you crank up the incline it's easy to up your intensity without any bouncing. Better for your knees too. In fact almost anything that's nice to the knees should be ok for you. Pool walking for example.
BTW, 83kg isn't obnoxiously overweight at 162cm. You're only a few kilos into the obese range. Though I assume the girls make clothes buying depressing.
posted by kjs4 at 10:18 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
A treadmill? I realise you can't run, but if you crank up the incline it's easy to up your intensity without any bouncing. Better for your knees too. In fact almost anything that's nice to the knees should be ok for you. Pool walking for example.
BTW, 83kg isn't obnoxiously overweight at 162cm. You're only a few kilos into the obese range. Though I assume the girls make clothes buying depressing.
posted by kjs4 at 10:18 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
PorcineWithMe: "Just so you can really wipe out the bra excuse (Isn't depression just fucking wonderful at creating roadblocks for us?!), Enell makes custom fit bras! Spend a bit on a couple good high impact compression bras. I know I said it before, but seriously, no bounce!"
Enell is also a US based company and the single retailer in Queensland is based up in Cairns (the Sydney store is closer, although still an hour and a bit flight) and don't seem to do custom fits - b33j could probably order it online from Enell (as opposed to the phone option they suggest).
One of the women I know online does endurance swimming and she highly recommends the waterproof ipod thing as well.
posted by geek anachronism at 10:35 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Enell is also a US based company and the single retailer in Queensland is based up in Cairns (the Sydney store is closer, although still an hour and a bit flight) and don't seem to do custom fits - b33j could probably order it online from Enell (as opposed to the phone option they suggest).
One of the women I know online does endurance swimming and she highly recommends the waterproof ipod thing as well.
posted by geek anachronism at 10:35 PM on August 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Yep, Enell is US based, but with $10K, a long distance phone call and an international shipping charge b33j could solve the bra issue. The custom order bra isn't available through retailers- even in the US. It sucks to be large breasted and struggle to find sports bras and so I feel compelled to spread the Enell gospel. So many women I know have the same sizing issue and yet there seems to be no good solution. Where are all the bra shops?!
posted by PorcineWithMe at 11:06 PM on August 18, 2013
posted by PorcineWithMe at 11:06 PM on August 18, 2013
Hi. Two things for ya!
1. Don't be scared of perception at the gym. The majority of people at the gym are gym rats. Gym rats are at the gym because they used to be heavy. No one judges an overweight person at the gym because they are doing something about it.
2. 10 grand? If you can, take time off work and do something crazy. Hire yourself out to a ranch, move to a different country, spend time at a nunnery or work on an offshore oil rig. You seem to be in an unhealthy cycle, break your habits by taking a huge leap of faith in a different place living a different way of life.
posted by hiddenknives at 11:14 PM on August 18, 2013
1. Don't be scared of perception at the gym. The majority of people at the gym are gym rats. Gym rats are at the gym because they used to be heavy. No one judges an overweight person at the gym because they are doing something about it.
2. 10 grand? If you can, take time off work and do something crazy. Hire yourself out to a ranch, move to a different country, spend time at a nunnery or work on an offshore oil rig. You seem to be in an unhealthy cycle, break your habits by taking a huge leap of faith in a different place living a different way of life.
posted by hiddenknives at 11:14 PM on August 18, 2013
Just a suggestion, but you have the money and it seems your breasts are causing you a lot of concern when thinking about exercise. Have you considered breast reduction/surgical lift? I'm not sure if that is something you have considered or would consider but I know several women who've had reduction surgery and said it really made them feel more at ease with exercise and movement.
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 11:14 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 11:14 PM on August 18, 2013 [2 favorites]
1) 95% of losing weight is diet, not exercise. I tried to exercise a ton of times to lose weight, and never got anywhere. When I started losing weight, it was diet that did it.
2) Most ADHD medications are also appetite supressants - they're actually the most effective 'diet pills' that exist, but not legal for anyone who doesn't have ADHD. Use this.
If you have money to burn, well, burn the money on eating healthy food. That means throwing out all the junk food, and only having healthy food around you. ADHD making preparing healthy food too much work? Throw money at someone else to do that part (be it delivery or cooking.) The tastier the food, the more likely you are to stick with it - throwing money at it makes it tasty, too.
Also, don't eat unless you are hungry. Impulsive eating contributes to a lot of people's weight gain... so store the food in the kitchen. Get one portion of biscuits, not the whole packet. Keep low calorie snacks around. Eat a lot of protein when you do feel the urge to snack (e.g. jerky.) Stuff like that.
posted by Ashlyth at 1:36 AM on August 19, 2013
2) Most ADHD medications are also appetite supressants - they're actually the most effective 'diet pills' that exist, but not legal for anyone who doesn't have ADHD. Use this.
If you have money to burn, well, burn the money on eating healthy food. That means throwing out all the junk food, and only having healthy food around you. ADHD making preparing healthy food too much work? Throw money at someone else to do that part (be it delivery or cooking.) The tastier the food, the more likely you are to stick with it - throwing money at it makes it tasty, too.
Also, don't eat unless you are hungry. Impulsive eating contributes to a lot of people's weight gain... so store the food in the kitchen. Get one portion of biscuits, not the whole packet. Keep low calorie snacks around. Eat a lot of protein when you do feel the urge to snack (e.g. jerky.) Stuff like that.
posted by Ashlyth at 1:36 AM on August 19, 2013
Response by poster: Really, really helpful stuff - thanks everyone. I tried to reply to everyone, and it got too long, so I put the second update in my profile. However, the options I'm looking at first: trainer to my house, waterproof iPod, health camp, because they seem like things that would suit me best. You have, as always, individually and as a community, been sweet and caring and inspiring. Thank you!
posted by b33j at 2:23 AM on August 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by b33j at 2:23 AM on August 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
One thing that I didn't see mentioned - my parents (one with arthritis/bum knee/varicose veins leg issues, the other with Parkinson's) belong to a gym that's affiliated with the local hospital. So not only are the folks around them often recovering from injury/illness and/or very elderly, but there are physical therapists on site and the regular (ultra low-key) fitness trainers are all very tuned in to their client's physical and medical restrictions.
I don't know if this sort of offshoot is just something that happens in the US because of our weird healthcare system, but you might check around for medical center affiliated or medically oriented fitness centers. My mom was going to an average suburban gym before (so not something that was full of starlets/hardbodies), but she likes their current place even better.
posted by clerestory at 7:46 AM on August 19, 2013
I don't know if this sort of offshoot is just something that happens in the US because of our weird healthcare system, but you might check around for medical center affiliated or medically oriented fitness centers. My mom was going to an average suburban gym before (so not something that was full of starlets/hardbodies), but she likes their current place even better.
posted by clerestory at 7:46 AM on August 19, 2013
I know people suggested all these things above, but I'd like to vote for:
* Long walks in the sun with an audio book you enjoy, exploring the local area. I did this when I lived in a big city and I do it now I live in the country. Put on a book and I'll happily walk for five hours. Being out in the sunshine (or wind, or drizzle) boosts my mood and I come home nicely tired.
* Diet rather than exercise to lose weight. It's a whole lot easier not to eat 200 calories than to burn 200 calories.
* Yoga - no bouncing at all required, and the emphasis is all about not competing with others and only doing what your body can do. You might need to try a few classes before you discover what you like. Remember, as a beginner, your body will be learning. Every body is different. I used to go to a class where several weightlifter guys turned up one week. They were by far the worst in the class (in terms of flexibility and balance) but they just stuck with it - and got a lot of respect for gradually improving. That's what yoga is all about for me, and it was great for my mood. (But most yoga classes won't make you lose weight or cause a big improvement in cardiovascular fitness). Yoga certainly can make you spend money. . .
* Cycling - I'm with you on problems with peripheral vision! I got better at turning more of my body around and also wear contact lenses sometimes. But it's such an ace way to get outside in the fresh air.
Good luck. There are so many wonderful things to try. My personal current love is taekwondo, but I think there might be too much jogging in the warmup for you until you are happier about your bra problem.
posted by kadia_a at 12:31 PM on August 19, 2013
* Long walks in the sun with an audio book you enjoy, exploring the local area. I did this when I lived in a big city and I do it now I live in the country. Put on a book and I'll happily walk for five hours. Being out in the sunshine (or wind, or drizzle) boosts my mood and I come home nicely tired.
* Diet rather than exercise to lose weight. It's a whole lot easier not to eat 200 calories than to burn 200 calories.
* Yoga - no bouncing at all required, and the emphasis is all about not competing with others and only doing what your body can do. You might need to try a few classes before you discover what you like. Remember, as a beginner, your body will be learning. Every body is different. I used to go to a class where several weightlifter guys turned up one week. They were by far the worst in the class (in terms of flexibility and balance) but they just stuck with it - and got a lot of respect for gradually improving. That's what yoga is all about for me, and it was great for my mood. (But most yoga classes won't make you lose weight or cause a big improvement in cardiovascular fitness). Yoga certainly can make you spend money. . .
* Cycling - I'm with you on problems with peripheral vision! I got better at turning more of my body around and also wear contact lenses sometimes. But it's such an ace way to get outside in the fresh air.
Good luck. There are so many wonderful things to try. My personal current love is taekwondo, but I think there might be too much jogging in the warmup for you until you are happier about your bra problem.
posted by kadia_a at 12:31 PM on August 19, 2013
You could attend an 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course.
Maybe a personal chef would be a better option than Lite & Easy.
posted by moira at 4:21 PM on August 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Maybe a personal chef would be a better option than Lite & Easy.
posted by moira at 4:21 PM on August 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Fwiw, it was really helpful to me to join the YMCA. Unlike the 24 hour fitness, many of the people who patronize the YMCA around here are regular people and aren't gym bunnies. The women in the changing rooms had deformities, injuries, scars, some surprising tattoos, and were of all ages and sizes, and they were there to GET IT DONE!
It made me less self conscious about my less than ideal body shape and more importantly, it made me really appreciate the body I have. My body pretty much works, if I treat it right. I am not missing limbs. My back is not shaped like the letter S, my legs are pretty much the same length as each other, and I'm not 90 years old with osteoporosis (and STILL these women were kicking my ass, if I wanted to compare, so no excuses for me!)
tl;dr: If you go to a gym, pick the one that's NOT the pick-up place for gym bunnies/rats.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:22 AM on August 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
It made me less self conscious about my less than ideal body shape and more importantly, it made me really appreciate the body I have. My body pretty much works, if I treat it right. I am not missing limbs. My back is not shaped like the letter S, my legs are pretty much the same length as each other, and I'm not 90 years old with osteoporosis (and STILL these women were kicking my ass, if I wanted to compare, so no excuses for me!)
tl;dr: If you go to a gym, pick the one that's NOT the pick-up place for gym bunnies/rats.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:22 AM on August 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
-buy a decent bike you enjoy riding, commute by bike as much as possible, or just ride around for fun.
-swimming! or another low-contact sport you enjoy. maybe surfing? hiking? rock climbing?
-classes of something you enjoy - try a bunch like martial arts, zumba, pilates, yoga, etc
-food is a huge factor in both weight and mood - buy healthier options, pre-prepared if you need to. Exercise is important as well but if your main goal is losing weight, I'd focus on the food first.
-I'm also pretty sure you can find a trainer who has a "nicer" attitude while still pushing you the right amount. I'm not sure how, exactly, but maybe look for recommendations online or from friends, or see if you can do one session with a personal trainer before committing to them, and of course explain your requirements to them. I don't think they're all as mean as the stereotype.
posted by randomnity at 5:12 PM on August 18, 2013