I feel a crushing lack of energy, apathy, lack of focus/motivation.
August 12, 2013 2:46 PM   Subscribe

I'm 21, bright, full of potential and with lots of dreams...but I feel completely, ridiculously unable to complete menial daily tasks. I need to move out, as family life isn't peachy. I need to do a lot of things to get my marketing career going, and I see it: but I'm unmotivated and lazy. Today is a low point, very low, can't stop tearfully moping about. Plz help. :(

I feel a crushing lack of energy, apathy, lack of focus/motivation.

I am unable to clean my room, lack the energy to work out, complete even the small menial tasks of the day.

I feel incredibly lazy and ridiculous--I am a 21 year old University student on summer holidays. I do decently in school. I like going out and making friends. I'm extroverted and outgoing.

If you read other questions, you know things at home aren't so good. While since I've come home from abroad they've calmed down significantly and there's no fighting, I need to move out. Soon. I need to be independant.

However, I feel stuck, alone, uncomfortably sad for no reason, unmotivated and completely lazy, totally disgusting.

I don't always feel like this, but kind of often. I tried hard to find a job this summer but marketing internships are excessively hard to come by. I do some free-lance event planning stuff to make some money/get some experience. I tutor a family friend's kid some french. I send out a few applications a week to try and get a job. I haven't turned into a total tub of lard but I'm probably working at 10% of my capacity.

What do I do? I need to snap out of this. Please help me. Today is especially worse. I'm in a dark fog and I don't know how to snap out. I'm sorry if this makes little sense. I love my family and should love my life, I have a lot of potential and opportunities.

But apparently I'm not helping out at home as much as I should. I'm being snippy and teary at my loved ones. I wallow in my room more than I should. And I'm not working out or doing nearly as much as I should to make me happy.

I've dealt with anxiety my whole life. But this kind of apathetic depression is something new. I need to snap out of it because my life is waiting. I lack focus.

Help me...
posted by rhythm_queen to Human Relations (8 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
You don't "snap out of" depression and anxiety. they are co-morbid - one often comes along with the other.

Have you been able to follow up on getting therapy or at least an evaluation for the anxiety and depression?
posted by rtha at 2:59 PM on August 12, 2013 [4 favorites]

I tried hard to find a job this summer but marketing internships are excessively hard to come by.

I work in marketing. Pretty much every company with a corporate office has a marketing department, and you would be surprised how many corporate offices are likely close to you. Start making some phone calls. You will get an internship before you know it.
posted by SkylitDrawl at 3:13 PM on August 12, 2013

What you are describing is textbook depression, and yeah, you can't just snap out of it. I'm so sorry you're going through this; I know it's tough.

You're not lazy, you're depressed, and depression takes an extraordinary amount of energy. If you can, be kind and gentle to yourself. And see your GP as soon as possible to discuss options for treatments.

Good luck. I was right there with you in my early twenties and it took me forever to realize I was depressed and not a slacker.
posted by Specklet at 4:00 PM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

I agree that snapping out of it won't happen. But I think that mindfulness can tide you over while you research and obtain professional help. You know you're in a funk and that things seem impossible. So, pick one thing that seems less impossible and do it. Can't clean your room? Fine, then make your bed or put an armful of laundry in the hamper. That's all you have to do today. Tomorrow, do one other thing. Try to enjoy accomplishing small things like that and don't focus on the "larger picture" of arranging your whole life. You have your whole life to do that in and it will all come eventually.

It probably won't come while you are suffering from this depression, though, so while you are taking one small step forward and several steps back every day, you can research mental health professionals to go talk to.
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:38 PM on August 12, 2013

This is exactly what clinical depression feels like from the inside, like your motivation is withering away and you just can't be bothered with much of anything, good or bad, anymore.
If you can, book an appointment with a therapist, mine has been very helpful in a situation very much like yours. Excercise is definitely worth perusing as much as possible, it has a proven effect on depression, but I am more than aware that it's almost impossible to implement once your depression gets to a certain point. An alternative you might find helpful is Sleep Deprivation, you might find it easier to get a lot of things done when you've had too little sleep. Again this has a proven effect on depression, and really helped me get enough motivation to do all the other stuff I knew I needed to do to get better.

Feel free to MeMail me about any of this, I've been there, and I know just how awful it feels.
posted by Proofs and Refutations at 2:22 AM on August 13, 2013

You need to get yourself some kind of evaluation and treatment for your depression and anxiety, pronto.

But right now, get out of your house. Go for a walk, go for a run, ride your bike, something, just get out of there. If you can't find an internship, start volunteering. Personally, I find that having days of unstructured time is extremely difficult for me to handle when I am depressed, particularly if I'm stuck spending that time in a toxic environment.
posted by inertia at 8:37 AM on August 13, 2013

Thanks guys. I apologize for this question which feels like a waste because like someone once pointed out, I'm always asking the same question. I just sometimes need someone to talk to.
posted by rhythm_queen at 12:07 PM on August 13, 2013

I grew up with depression. I thought this is what I was supposed to feel like. It wasn't always bad. But...

After a disastrous 2009, I went on medication at the insistence of a friend of mine. It made a world of difference. It was like being able to see or hear for the first time.

Get treatment.
posted by Xoebe at 5:41 PM on August 13, 2013

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