Ideas in helping SO learn your language?
August 6, 2013 6:34 AM   Subscribe

He speaks English, my family speaks Spanish.. how can I help him learn to speak to my family?

My SO is open-minded and wants to learn Spanish to be able to speak to my family and fluently if possible. Have you been in this situation? What tips do you have to me to help him learn the language? What can I do to make it fun and enjoyable? As the SO learning the language, what did your SO do that really helped you and did not overwhelm you?
posted by xicana63 to Human Relations (10 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
 
My brother had a couple years of high-school Spanish (15 years ago) under his belt when he met the woman who would become his wife. She spoke to him in Spanish a lot (hell, she spoke to me in Spanish a lot - carefully, clearly, with simply-constructed sentences) to help him get comfortable with regular Spanish. And he had to deploy regularly, as well as intensively when they'd go to Ecuador for a few weeks here and there.

So the combination of simplicity (meeting his level), regularity, and immersion (pushing his boundaries) seems to have worked fairly well, as he's fairly conversant.

There's also the Rosetta Stone.
posted by entropone at 6:54 AM on August 6, 2013


Does he have access to an iOS device? Duolingo is fun and free. It will never make him a fluent speaker, but it may be a good spark for language learning.
posted by Gin and Comics at 6:55 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yes, also suggesting Duolingo. It's pretty amazing for getting the basics of a language, and it really is fun. There's also a support network built in for practicing with real people. And it's FREE.
posted by SpacemanStix at 7:02 AM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


I taught myself pretty functional French (probably B1/B2 level with an accent that gets me mistaken for French when I'm here in the US and gets me compliments from the French when I'm there) with LiveMocha, and I am also using it (combined with one-on-one lessons) to learn Serbo-Croatian (the language of my inlaws). Obviously this comes with a huge caveat that not all learners or methods are created equally, but here are the things I like about LiveMocha that other places don't get you:

- Multiple Vocabulary Testing Methods: Instead of just being a flash-card program, the vocabulary testing covers several different methods. It shows you the picture and says the word in English and you pick the word in your target language; it shows you the word in English and you pick the appropriate word in your target language; it shows you the picture and you reconstruct the word/phrase from vocabulary "magnets." Etc.
- Written assignments: simple written assignments based on the grammar rules and vocabulary that you've just learned.
- Speaking assignments: you read a passage and record yourself and submit it.

- But the best part of LiveMocha is that all of your assignments are submitted randomly to native speakers who give you feedback. The site is basically like the Facebook of language learning. And it's pretty much based on a pay-it-forward principle which has worked well for me. I have found a couple people who have really helped me out significantly over time.

- Once I had enough grammar and vocabulary, I started to read the newspaper and listen to podcasts in my target language. I just read about subjects that were interesting to me, and that I'd be reading about in my native language anyway. News is great if you're a news junkie because you probably already know the context AND you can be assured that the grammar is "okay" at the very least. I had a recent AskMe about finding other Spanish language content to replace BBC Radio Mundo, and it seems like there's not a great equivalent yet. (My coworker suggested Univision's podcast, but I haven't checked it out yet.)

- Bonus, he can speak to you in Spanish so that will be an added area of practice. Immersion is really helpful, and after my third two-week stay with my inlaws I can finally get the gist of what they're saying just by listening to context. And this isn't just basic context like "someone says something" another person hands them a glass, clearly they asked for a glass. Last night my partner was suggesting to his sister that they become slum lords on the phone and I picked up on the subject matter. /the best thing you can do on that front is to speak very carefully and clearly and avoid slang and other linguistic shortcuts. Those will come later, but as he's training his ear, he'll need you to be speaking on Easy Mode.
posted by jph at 7:19 AM on August 6, 2013 [4 favorites]


(Of note: Rosetta Stone just bought LiveMocha, but the service has remained free thus far. Its future is still a bit uncertain but I would wager that is isn't going anywhere any time soon.)
posted by jph at 7:21 AM on August 6, 2013


What entropone said. Keep in mind that new speakers sound (and think) like idiots when they are trying to apply simple grammar while choosing from a limited stock of nouns. You family knows he has no Spanish, so let him start with stock pleasantries, to help him with his accent. Food items are good, also stuff like directions in traffic (give him a lot of lead time to process this last).

Pillow talk is the most fun. Don't try to rush it. Daily exposure to bits and pieces will do more than a dense lesson plan, because he'll always be trying to soak up more, rather than digest too much. In this case, if it ain't fun it ain't worth it.

Um, don't let him talk about the railways until he gets his tongue limber enough to handle the trills. At some point he will realize that he can handle some thoughts first in Spanish, and will translate them into English only after a little effort. This is the jewel.

My favorite word is querido.
posted by mule98J at 7:26 AM on August 6, 2013


I have commented a fair bit about language learning here before, and I happen to be in a bilingual marriage where our extended families are monolingual (or at least, share no mutual language with the in-laws). I am also a language enthusiast who studies foreign languages as my main hobby, so I may be a bit odd in this regard.

Before I get to specific recommendations, I wanted to add a few words because your question is "how can someone else learn a language?" rather than "how can I learn a language?" I may sound like a bit of a wet blanket, but please bear with me. Almost no one learns a language unless they have to. I really like this page's treatment of the issue. The biggest factor in success with learning a language is motivation and time with the language. We have all met people who keep promising to learn some language but say they can't because they can't move to X Country or no one around here speaks X or any other number of excuses. He is the one who is going to put in the time and work, and no matter what efforts are taken to "make it fun", he will only keep it up if it is worth his time. "Should I watch tv or study Spanish?" "Should I go out with friends or study Spanish?" You get the idea. Installing an app is not enough because for most people, learning a language is not fun.

Now, the encouraging stuff. Your SO has advantages in that Spanish is one of the easier languages for a native speaker of English to get to some degree of proficiency. Primarily, there is a lot of shared vocabulary and cognates, it uses the Roman alphabet, and there are a lot of grammatical similarities such as in syntax. As far as courses, I have come to become a fan of Assimil. While it does not deliver on the promised B2 proficiency in my view, I like it because it has short lessons that can be done at a clip of one per day so one does have a sense of progress. Also, the dialogues are usually humorous so that helps to keep one engaged. Most nights, I am doing an Assimil lesson with my newest language; I am about 2/3 through my current volume of Assimil and am already having text chats with native speakers. Please note that the Assimil Spanish course is Iberian Spanish, so I do not know if that is an issue (I really don't think it should be). I have also had good experience with Living Language (I have not used it for Spanish), although the general consensus is that the older courses are better. The older ones are the ones that do not have two people whispering to each other on the cover). Living Language gets a bit more detailed into grammar than Assimil, which actually has little explicit grammar. I suppose which is preferable is up to your SO's tastes.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the FSI's free courses. While they are quite effective, they are also quite dry. I could see someone getting bored with them.

A lot of people say "speak from Day 1". Well, I really disagree with that. The reason is that on Day 1, you don't have very much to say and you will not understand what is said back to you. For this reason, I would definitely recommend against something like your only speaking to him in Spanish. I recommend your SO taking a few months to acquire a base of vocabulary before starting to speak. In addition to the vocabulary acquired in whatever language course he uses, he may also wish to use a vocabulary frequency dictionary to prioritize his studies. I have this Spanish frequency dictionary and find it to be quite useful. I recommend using it to drill vocabulary with a flash card program such as Anki.

To get back to my previous point, I think "how can I help someone learn a language?" is a lot like "how can I help someone run a marathon?" You can't want something for someone else. In this case, I think a big factor is going to be what your SO views as being the cost of not learning Spanish. He needs to think that studying and learning is preferable to thinking, "hey, I can just get by with gestures and xicana's translation." You probably don't need to figure out how to motivate your SO to get him to eat his favorite food or watch his favorite tv show. The reason is because those activities are their own reward. Learning Spanish needs to be that for him, too, if he is going to follow through.

If you Google around language learning sites, I think you will find the general consensus is that Rosetta Stone is the worst language learning program with the best marketing. It also happens to be the most expensive.

I like the community aspect of LiveMocha. I don't use its picture game lessons, but I do use it for writing and speaking submissions. I agree that it is likely to remain a freemium service.
posted by Tanizaki at 7:50 AM on August 6, 2013 [5 favorites]


Does your SO have any previous Spanish experience?

As someone leaning a new language from scratch for my SO's family, I agree with Tanizaki that it's been more about my personal discipline than what he does, but my SO does do some things that help:
1) Because he works a little extra at home, either for work or for online classes, there are regular times in our schedule with a productive atmosphere for me to study. (As an extra, apps are great for incorporating study time into my commute, if he takes public transport. I use Mango languages.)
2) The money spent on classes, software, apps, podcasts, etc is shared and he encourages me to spend a little frivolously to find a system that works best. Sometimes, learning can get boring, and switching programs brings the novelty back. Lucky for you, there are TONS of Spanish resources an English speaker can use.
3) When I show off something new Ive learned, there is a ton of encouragement. If I complain that something is hard, he doesn't get defensive about "his" language.

We both go out of our way to use the new language when we can, but for a new beginner there's just not too much to talk about yet. When there's more of a foundation to work with, you can become more involved by introducing new vocabulary and as a conversation partner for practice.
posted by tinymegalo at 10:41 AM on August 6, 2013


I've been using duoLingo Spanish for the past several months (5, 10, and 15 minutes at a time on my iPhone) and I am definitely noticing some progress, especially in listening comprehension. I'm about half way through the lessons. I feel that when I'm done with all the lessons I'll have a nice foundation to build on but with a lot more studying and practice needed before I would feel I can be conversational. Many language programs try to make you think it will be easy and quick to learn a language, but the reality is that is is a lot of work and takes a lot of time. What's important then, in addition to motivation, is to find programs that you find enjoyable and interesting. For me, having an app on a smartphone has been great because every time I have a little time available I can do a lesson. If I had to carve out larger chunks of time or had to be at a computer screen to do a lesson, learning Spanish would probably still be an idea for me rather than a reality.
posted by Dansaman at 11:02 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm in the same boat as your SO. I took classes to help with grammar, and there are a ton of good sites/apps you can find. But for me, nothing beat real-life immersion.

Early on I loved doing activities with a patient narrator - my mother-in-law and I would make a cake and she'd describe everything we were doing, or his uncle would take us for a walk and talk about the town's buildings. That really helped all the new vocabulary stick, more than flashcards but also more than dinner-table talk, which was too abstract for me.

But the best thing overall was that my husband's family always included me in everything, even when I spoke about 20 words. There was no fussing if he wasn't around to translate for me. They didn't seem stressed about having to downshift and explain obvious things all the time. I was just part of the family tagging along and muddling through with patient chaperones.

So I'd say you couldn't go wrong with that - having your family bring your SO into the thick of things and being ultra-patient while he learns. It will take a while for him to get fluent, but it'll be fun to watch :)
posted by abecedarium radiolarium at 11:47 AM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


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